Mess Flashcards
Entering the mess
The FY2022 chief selectees very very respectfully request permission to enter the hallowed halls of the most sacred and honorable Chief Petty Officers Mess for…
Exit
The fy2022 Chief selectees very very respectfully request permission to depart the hallowed halls of August Chief Petty Officers mess. We have greatly enjoyed this session and look forward to out next session; same place same selectees only better.
Charge
All great all knowing most-honorable fountain of wisdom. Excuse my slovenly appearance and forgive me for encroaching upon your most valuable time. I humbly beseech you to affix your stately signature within my noble tome and further implore you not to prevaricate in this life-sustaining document.
How long have you been in the Navy
ALL ME BLOOMIN LIFE!! Me mother was a mermaid and me father was king Neptune. I was born on the crest of a wave and rocked in the cradle of the deep. Barnacle and kelp are me clothes, hemp and seaweed is me hair. Every tooth in me head be marlinespike, every bone in me body pure spar, and when I spits I spits tar. I’s tough, I is, I am, I arrrrrrrrre!
What time is it?
Due to the fallacious nature of my chronometer and the inability of my cerebrum to function in the manner of an August Chief Petty Officer, I am unable to ascertain the correct time to a punctilious degree.
However, it is my firm belief that the approximate military time is…
Whats up?
Up is equal to the amplitude but in the opposite direction to the delineation of down and is used for such phrases as “Go piss up a rope, up your nose, and you’re all hosed up, sir.
How high is up
Twice half the distance?
Something way beyond my pain power
Not having informed myself to the highest degree of accuracy, I hesitate to articulate for fear I might deviate from the true course of rectitude!
Who is your sponsor?
My Sponsor is (BUC Trevor Dawson and EOCS John Starnes)! The only Genuine Chief here! And none of you coast guard drop outs can make me say otherwise!
How are you going to wear anchors
The CPO collar device shall be worn on the summer dress white and Shor sleeve khaki shirt centered one inch from the front and lower edges of the collar with the vertical axis of the insignia along an imaginary line bisecting the angle of the collar point.
Is a selectee ignorant
Yes (title) but I am not stupid. Ignorance can be corrected, stupidity cannot.
Doesa CPO selectee make mistakes
Yes (title) a Chief Petty Officer selectee makes many mistakes, but learns from their mistakes and strives not to repeat them.
Give me an attitude check
This is the happiest day of my life
Give me a positive attitude check
This is positively the happiest day of my life
Give me a negative attitude check
I’ll be sorry to see this day end
Give me a short attitude check
Great day
What day is today
One day closer to the greatest day of my life!
A CPO never drinks
A Chief Petty Officer never drinks
But if he should drink, they never get drunk
However if they should get drunk, they never stagger
If perchance they do stagger, they never fall
But should they fall, they do so in such a manner that their rating badge is concealed and passerby will think they are a junior officer
Rule 1
The Chief is always right
Rule 2
In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, rule number 1 is immediately invoked.
Rule 3
The Chief does not sleep, the Chief rests
Rule 4
The Chief is never late, the Chief is unavoidably delayed.
Rule 5
The Chief never leaves work, the chief is required elsewhere
Rule 6
The Chief never reads the paper in the office, the Chief studies.
