Memory

Question 1

A Chief Petty Officer

Answer 1

A Chief Petty Officer never drinks,
But if the Chief does,
The Chief never gets drunk,
However, should the Chief get drunk, 
The Chief never staggers,
If perchance the Chief does stagger however,
The Chief never the falls,
But should the Chief fall,
The Chief does so in the privacy of the Chiefs quarters 

Or

With the Chiefs arms folded in a manner to conceal the Chiefs rating badge and the fact that he or she is a Chief Petty Officer.

Question 2

How long have you been in the Coast Guard

Spoken like Popeye.

Answer 2

All me blooming life,Chief

Me mother was a mermaid
Me father was King Neptune 
I was born on the crest of a wave
And rocked in the cradle of the deep
Barnacle and kelp is me clothes 
Seaweed is me hair
Every tooth in me head is a Marlin spike
Every bone in me body is pure spar
When I spit. I spits tar
I is tough.    I is. I am. I are.

Learn as rap

Question 3

How’s the cow

Spoken like a professor

Answer 3

She walks she talks and she’s full of chalk.

The lacteal fluid extracted from the female of the bovine species is highly prolific to the enth degree.

Question 4

Asked time of day

British accent

Answer 4

Due to the fallacious nature of my chronometer and the inability of my cerebrum to function in the manner of an August Chief Petty Officer. I am unable to ascertain the correct time to a punctilious degree. However, it is my opinion that the appropriate military time is —- hours.

Question 5

How high is up

As superman

Answer 5

Up is equal to the amplitude. But in the opposite direction to the delineation of down and is used in such phrases as “up up and away”, “up your nose”, and “your all hosed up, sir”.