Medical relationships Flashcards
Medical relationships definition
Definition: when one or both individuals is a physician or physician in training
Focus is on primary adult relationship
Can be applied to family and or friend relationships as well
Significant and direct correlations between healthy relationships and overall individual well being
Mayo clinic’s research
Almost 87 percent of physicians’ spouses or partners said that they were satisfied with their relationships
More than 55 percent of the spouses and partners of physicians who responded said that they were “extremely satisfied” with their relationships
More than 31 percent said they were “somewhat satisfied“
Number of minutes spent awake with their physician partners each day was the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction
Mayo Clin Proc. 2013; 88:216-225
Unique Challenges for Physician Relationships*
Individual Skills; good for medical training/practice, not necessarily for family life Potential Role Models Work-load Demands Relevant Medical Circumstances Connecting with people daily
our Individual Skills
Type A Behavior: high-powered fast moving, goal oriented Perfectionistic Hyper vigilant Expert multi-tasker Academically focused Studious Not collaborative
Role Models
Role Models evolve:
From academic superstars: impressive research or teaching credentials, vast knowledge, international acclaim, to
Clinician-teachers: long work hours, work 7 days a week, see many patients
Professional colleagues – building/maintaining a practice, referrals, etc.
Medical Workload
Lack of time together
Heavy workload of a medical career
Physicians are three times more likely to work 60+hour work weeks thn any other profession
Unpredictable schedules
Potential disillusionment (“it’ll get better when….”)
Professional Circumstances
Working in rural or underserved areas—these physicians often work extremely long days and have grueling on-call schedules that give them little time to engage in relationship or family life
Settling in communities where locum physicians are hard to find and physicians are unable to go on vacation with their families or to take sabbatical leave
Especially demanding branches of medicine, such as neonatology, transplant surgery, high-risk obstetrics, and neurosurgery—these physicians have little control over their professional lives, their work is less predictable, and family plans get disrupted
Incurring huge educational debts during medical training, causing a physician to “moonlight” to try to catch up, which diminishes time with a loved one
Having 2 or more families from previous and current marriages to support, and working “extra hard” affects intimacy
Working “double time” to support members of extended families outside this country—a circumstance in which some international medical graduates and physicians from ethnic minority groups may find themselves
Connecting
Negotiating the unusual connecting in medicine has unexpected potential negative outcomes at home.
The emotional drain of dealing with patients, colleagues can lead to disconnecting at home
Physicians open boundaries; uniquely intimate with others can be threatening
Autonomous thinking is expected and rewarded in medicine; collaboration tends to be more successful in personal relationships
Factors relevant to physiciansin training:
Extraordinary stress, often new Developing a new identity Altering expectations Long work hours Difficulty winding down after work Sleep deprivation Learned helplessness regarding time management
Factors relevant for partners of physicians in training:
Significant change in relationship dynamics Unrealistic expectations Identity development Abandonment issues Greater home responsibilities
Developing Healthy Relationships
The role of the Self Identify your relationship Key relationship variables Identify your contract Achieve your contract
Overall Well being – the Self
Improving your relationship starts with attending to your own well being
Attend to your self-care habits
Acknowledge that no one is responsible for your happiness except you
Know who you are independent of your relationship (hobbies, interests, etc.)
What do you want your relationship to look like?
Consider your relationship as a separate entity
What will it take to get what you want?
Garden, gardening
Identify, agree on what you want it to look like; your shared relationship
Work as a team to develop your vision
Discuss relationship issues as a mutual problem
Issues move from satisfying one persons needs to the needs of the relationship
Key Aspects of apartner relationship
Conflict resolution- the ease with which differences of opinion are resolved;
Affection- the degree to which feelings of emotional closeness are expressed by the couple;
Cohesion- a feeling of commitment to the marriage;
Sexuality- the degree to which sexual needs are communicated and fulfilled by the marriage
Identity- the couple’s level of self-confidence and self-esteem;
Compatibility- the degree to which the couple is able to work and play together comfortably;
Expressiveness- the degree to which thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and feelings are shared within the marriage and as well, the couple’s level of self-disclosure; and
Autonomy- the success with which the couple gains independence from their families of origin and their offspring.
Unwritten Relationship Contract
Often unwritten expectations that individuals bring into relationships What are your expectations: of yourself as a partner? of your partner? If I do this…….I will get this….. You each have one Your unwritten contract
