Marriage and Family Final Flashcards
If you love me you would
love God
be honest (w/ God, me,others, and self)
never intentionally hurt me
Sacrivice
Three stages of maturity
Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
Observations on Love
amount we feel = amount we give
closer to spirit = easier to feel love
we get better at loving and being loved by doing it
don’t feel unworthy of love
you err when you try to show love in the way you want to be loved
Five love languages
words of affirmation quality time receiving gifts acts of service physical touch
Three ways to affirm
accept their feelings
seek to understand their feelings
nurture their feelings
Good/better/best of service
Good – Ask me and I will help
Better – I will ask how to help
Best – I will look to serve
What does it mean to minister?
to extend charity by first observing and then serving as we strive to meet the needs and wants of others
Six keys to ministering
Move to higher ground Understand and meet underlying needs Understanding the nature of Growth, Progress, and Change Be a good friend Lighten Up Make time for recreation
CRUCIAL (Seven basic underlying needs of everyone)
Competency Reconciliation Understanding Closeness Independence Appreciation Love
Four Elements of Change
Belief precedes change
Change is gradual
Change is Painful and Tiring
Permanent changes comes only through Christ
Two weaknesses that keep people from higher ground
Apathy
Pride
What comes before love and what comes before progress?
Gratitude precedes love and love precedes progress
What is foreordination?
premortal selection of individuals to come to earth at specified times under certain conditions, to fulfill pre dsignated responabilities
Four reasons why you were foreordained to be wives and mothers
developed and exercised faith
brought forth good works in premortality
learned to discern and choose good over evil
developed talents and capacities to be successful in your foreordained callings
Divine nature of women (7)
faithfulness benevolence kindness chairty patience love for children spirituality
Foreordained Role for Wife
Companion
Helpmeet
Comforter
Homemaker
How men preside in righteousness
Quantity & Quality Time
Perform appropriate priesthood ordinances and give blessings
Honor priesthood and temple covenants and encourage family members to do the same
What is self esteem?
refers to thoughts and feelings of self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-confidence
Three things for self-esteem
love God
do God’s will
fear God’s judgment more than mans
What is the terminator of pride?
HUMILITY
Four keys to humility
Evaluate yourself (hole in the doghnut)
pray often
read scriptures daily
serve others
four tendencies of perfeccionists
obsessed or consumed with their every thought, action, and response
unrealistic expectations
exaggerate their mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings
dichotomize life into either/or categories
Self hated is not humility why?
central feature of pride is enmity
self-haters are focused on themselves
causes us to disblieve, resist, or reject truth of being God’s children
What is goal of men in communication?
get a report
Goal of women in communication?
establish rapport (feel connected)
3 parts to communication
Sending
Receiving
Validating
4 things when sending a message
when
why
how
what
three things to consider when receiving
listen enough to understand
understand intent
focus on feelings more than words
3 basic rules of validation
listen to understand…
events related
feelings expressed
underlying needs
Four negative patterns of communication
criticism
contempt
defensiveness
withdrawal
What is the magic ratio
5 to 1
Five positive patterns of communication
clarity brevity good listening skills seek to understand, then to be understood ????
Four important things about clarity
think before you speak
discerning what we should and should not say
separate important from unimportant
identify the real issue
Two characteristics of good listening
its rarely convenient
involves, ears, eyes, mind and heart
3 reasons conflict arises
simple misunderstandings
pride
looking for band in everything
8 principles of conflict resolution
avoid contention distinguish between preference and principle think win-win have proper motive act don't react or overreact bury weapons of war hold regular couple councils
ACT?
Agree
Comfort
TEstify
Seven keys of couple councils
regularly start w/ positives be specific in concerns determine roadblocks identify/discuss potential solutions decide and commit to course of action follow up
