Mainstreaming Kink

Question 1

hierarchies of sex:

Answer 1

• married heterosexual
• unmarried monogamous heterosexuals
  stable long term gay couples
• promiscuous gays
• transsexuals, transvestites, fetishists, sadomasochists, sex workers such as prostitutes and porn models
• lowliest of all, those whose eroticism transgresses generational boundaries

Question 2

Kinks

Answer 2

Anything that falls under non-traditional sexual and intimate desires, practices, or fantasies

Question 3

BDSM

Answer 3

Bondage, Displine/Domination, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism

Question 4

BDSM and the Law (Canada)

Answer 4

¯ a person cannot legally consent to physical harm
- ex. whips causing bruises is assault
¯ 1995 R. v. Welch – consent doesn’t erase the inherently degrading and dehumanizing nature of conduct
¯ it is estimated that 1 in 10 adults in North America practices some form of BDSM

Question 5

Feminism and BDSM

Answer 5

¯ no one lifestyle
¯ inclusive
¯feminists feel uncomfortable expressing BDSM particularly choosing to be submissive?

Question 6

Understandings of consent in Fifty Shades reflects those in the wider heteronormative culture

Answer 6

1) Responsibilty for consent located within the individual (usually a woman)
2) Consent relates to sex only and does not consider relationship as a whole

Question 7

1. Located within individual woman

Answer 7

¯ it is the sub who has all the power
○ Is bottom power really power?
○ “For the record, you stood beside me knowing what I was going to do. You didn’t at any time ask me to stop – you didn’t use either safeword. You are an adult – you have choices.”
¯ Desire to keep their contract private
○ Consent is complicated under these conditions because one person does not know their desires, and the other ‘knows’ what they both want

Question 8

2) Consent relates to sex and not wider relationship

Answer 8

¯ does things Ana has asked him not to do – expensive presents, showing up on the holiday she has taken in order to get some space, taking over the company she works for, etc.
¯ consider how possessive and jealous both are, and both attempt to get the other to submit to their desires

Question 9

Discussions of consent in BDSM Blogosphere

Answer 9

¯ Shifting responsibility from individual to collective
¯ not just about no and safe words, but about continually and enthusiastically saying YES
¯ Maxine (2012): ‘Consent is established by saying ‘‘yes’’ before the fact, not by ‘‘not saying no’’ when something is already happening. Only YES means yes’.
– a shift towards finding out what people actively want to do through communication