Love and relationships Flashcards
How did early psychological theories view love?
Early theories, like behaviorism and psychoanalysis, largely dismissed the concept of love.
How did Harlow’s monkey studies change perspectives on love?
Harlow’s research demonstrated the critical importance of physical comfort and close bonds for healthy development, challenging the idea that love was merely a byproduct of basic needs like food. These findings aligned with Bowlby’s attachment theory, emphasizing the significance of early attachments for well-being.
What are some different types of love?
While there’s no single, universally accepted model, some common distinctions include:
○ Passionate Love: Characterized by intense longing, physical attraction, and a desire for union.
○ Companionate Love: Based on deep friendship, intimacy, shared values, and commitment.
○ Compassionate Love: Focused on caring, concern, and understanding the needs of the other.
○ Attachment Love: Similar to the bonds between parent and child, emphasizing security, safety, and emotional support.
What is the prototype approach to defining love?
This approach involves asking people to list features of love and lovers, then having others rate the typicality or centrality of those features. It suggests that companionate love qualities (trust, honesty, caring) are viewed as more central than passionate love qualities (sexual passion, excitement)
Are there gender differences in how love is perceived or experienced?
While similarities outweigh differences, some patterns emerge:
○ Men tend to endorse more romantic notions of love (“true love”) and express greater interest in casual sex.
○ Women are more inclined towards pragmatic and companionate conceptions of love, valuing friendship and shared values.
How does culture influence views of love?
Cultural factors play a role in shaping love experiences:
○ Individualistic cultures emphasize passionate love more than collectivist cultures.
○ Arranged marriages are common in some cultures, where companionate love is expected to develop over time.
○ Despite variations in expression, the belief in the value of love is widespread across cultures
- Eros (passion) conceptions high in all, higher with
individualism - Storge (companionate) somewhat lower in individualist
What happens to love over time in romantic relationships?
○ While passionate love tends to decline, companionate love can grow stronger, contributing to long-term satisfaction.
○ Experiencing love is crucial for relationship stability, especially early on, but its importance for commitment may lessen after marriage.
Is oxytocin truly the “love hormone”?
Despite early hype, oxytocin’s role in love is more nuanced:
○ It’s associated with various social behaviors like bonding, trust, and empathy, but also with negative emotions like envy and in-group bias.
○ Methodological issues (e.g., nasal spray administration) and failures to replicate findings raise questions about its direct causal influence on love
What factors contribute to initial attraction in romantic relationships?
Key factors include:
○ Proximity and exposure
○ Similarity
○ Physical attractiveness
○ Building intimacy through sharing (e.g., using the “Fast Friends” procedure)
How does personality influence romantic relationships?
○ Agreeableness, conscientiousness, and emotional stability in either partner predict greater relationship satisfaction and longevity.
○ Attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant), stemming from early experiences but modifiable over time, shape relationship dynamics.
What is the “bank account” analogy for relationships?
This analogy highlights the importance of maintaining a positive balance:
○ Positive interactions act as “deposits,” strengthening the relationship.
○ Negative interactions act as “withdrawals,” weakening the bond.
○ The “negativity bias” means negative events have a stronger impact than positive ones, necessitating a ratio of around 5:1 positive to negative interactions for a healthy relationship.
What is capitalization and why is it important?
Capitalization involves sharing positive news and experiences with a partner, fostering intimacy and connection. Partner responses play a crucial role:
○ Active, constructive responses communicate support and strengthen the bond.
○ Passive or dismissive responses can dampen positive emotions and weaken the connection.
○ How partners capitalize on positive events may be a strong predictor of future relationship quality.
How does self-expansion theory apply to relationships?
This theory suggests people have an inherent drive for growth and learning, which can be fulfilled through relationships:
○ Partners can expand their sense of self by incorporating aspects of their partner’s identity, experiences, and knowledge.
○ Engaging in novel and exciting activities together helps maintain relationship satisfaction and prevents boredom.
Is frequent sex the key to relationship happiness?
○ While a positive correlation exists between sex frequency and well-being up to about once a week, more is not always better.
○ One study found that instructing couples to double their sex frequency actually decreased relationship satisfaction, suggesting forcing it can backfire.
How can humor be used positively in relationship conflict?
While conflict is inevitable, humor can be a valuable tool:
○ Affiliative humor: Lighthearted and playful, helps diffuse tension and maintain connection. Particularly beneficial during high-stress situations.
○ Aggressive humor: Sarcastic or critical, can escalate conflict and damage the relationship, especially when used in response to a partner seeking support.
○ Self-defeating humor: Putting oneself down, can be perceived negatively, especially when a partner is distressed.
Why is forgiveness important in relationships?
Forgiveness involves releasing resentment and choosing to move forward after conflict:
○ A lack of forgiveness hinders conflict resolution and decreases relationship satisfaction.
○ Studies show that forgiveness predicts reduced conflict over time.
○ However, it’s crucial to distinguish forgiveness from condoning harmful behavior, especially in abusive relationships.
