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Dracula — Smedgley > Lines > Flashcards

Lines Flashcards

1
Q

[Enter]

A

Renfield! Renfield!

[Search room]

Where are you Bloomin’ idiot! Where are you this time! I spend my whole life looking for lost loonies. Renfield! Every time the moon is full he disappears. Renfield!

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2
Q

Van Helsing
This, you consider this harmless?

Seward
We are keeping a close eye on him.

Van Helsing
Clearly.

A

[Enter]
Sorry sir! We have been searching for him for the last hour [Cross to Renfield] Come on you! Enough of your games!

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3
Q

Seward
That’s enough! Smedgley, take this lunatic back to his cell. And this time, double chain the door!

A

[Grab Renfield; start to wrestle out]

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4
Q

Seward
Damn you! Smedgley get him out of here!

A

[Grab Renfield; start to shuffle out]

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5
Q

Van Helsing
Mr Renfield!

A

[Bag in face; take away]

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6
Q

Van Helsing
Well, Dracula is a very famous name in that part of the world. His ancestor, ‘The Impaler’, is quite famous! But a vampire must rest in the dirt of his home land. So, I do not think it could be our count.

A

[Enter]

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7
Q

Seward
Smedgley? What now?

A

It’s that Renfield! He has escaped again.

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8
Q

Seward
How this time?

A

Out the window sir. You know it’s a drop of fifty feet to the ground. I don’t know how he does it, Sir? Unless he can fly?

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9
Q

Seward
Well, find him, man! And don’t sound the alarm. We don’t want to rile the other patients.

A

Yes, Sir. Right away, Sir!

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10
Q

Van Helsing
Perhaps we should help? I would like to talk to this Renfield.

A

[Exit]

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11
Q

[Miss Finster enters U, closes curtains]

A

[Enter]

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12
Q

Miss Finster
You idiot!

A

Sorry, Miss! That looney has escaped again. Have you seen him?

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13
Q

Miss Finster
Of course not, and I doubt he would hide in here. You know, you’ll be looking for a new job if you can’t keep your loonies locked up.

[Comes down center]

A

It’s not my fault. See, I hear a noise, like wolves howling, so I run to his cell. And just as I get there, I see his feet going out the window, just like he was going to climb down the wall. He’s not human, that one!

[Finster grabs paper; heads UL]

Here… where are you going?

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14
Q

Miss Finster
Miss Mina asked for the evening paper.

A

[Search room; wind up in fireplace]

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15
Q

Miss Finster
Have you found him yet?

A

No… I haven’t! This job is getting on my nerves.

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16
Q

Miss Finster
Your nerves? What about mine? Your loonies are always getting out. Everyone getting their blood drained for Miss Mina. The place stinks of garlic! And now you’re telling me Renfield is crawling down the walls like a big bat?

A

Funny you should mention bats. Just as I go to grab Renfield’s feet, this big bat flies up and hits me square in the face.

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17
Q

Miss Finster
You’re getting daffier than your patients, you are!

A

It’s true, Miss! If I don’t get him back in his cell, I’ll be out of a job. I mean, he’s wacko alright, but he has always been harmless. Well, at least until now.

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18
Q

Miss Finster
Wouldn’t hurt a fly, huh?

A

No, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He would rather eat them than a four course meal. And you should see what he does with spiders and sparrows.

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19
Q

Miss Finster
Well, you’d better find him or they will be locking you up next.

[Sits on couch]

A

Don’t worry, Miss. It’s a long drop to the ground from that window, and besides, no-one will bother you with me around [moves closer] SO! Do you ever get lonely here all by yourself? Or maybe, on your night off, if you go walking alone in the moonlight. Maybe you would like to have an escort, that is. On your night off, I mean. [slides closer]

20
Q

Miss Finster
I wouldn’t let you walk with me in that uniform. People would think I’m one of your loonies!

A

What if I change?

21
Q

Miss Finster
You don’t waste any time, do you?

A

I’ve had me eye on you, lovie! [try for kiss]

22
Q

Miss Finster
Buzz off! You better keep your eyes on your loonies, and not me!

A

[Rise; talk to pocket]

Come on, Hubert, we know when we are not wanted.

23
Q

Miss Finster
Here, who are you talking to now?

A

[Cross back]

Oh, I’m just talking to Hubert… my pet rat!

[Pull rat out of pocket, dangle in her face. She runs away. Chase until center]

Come on, Hubert. some people have no sense of humor!

[Exit]

24
Q

Renfield
… You are in his power now! His power!!

[Laugh histerically]

*Seward* Smedgley, get him out of here.
A

[Drag Renfield out with others]

25
Q

Elinor
All is done, Ludvig.

*Van Helsing* Good, now…
A

[Enter, followed by Rostov]

26
Q

Seward
What now, Smedgley?

A

It’s that Renfield, Sir. He’s escaped again!

27
Q

Seward
This is preposterous, Smedgley! I told you to put him in maximum security!

A

I did, Sir! Just as you said. But when I looked in on him, I found the wall had been smashed in. Like a cannon ball went through it, Sir!

28
Q

Van Helsing
Yes, it might just come to that. Your are not to leave the room, and do not remove those articles from her neck. We will return shortly.

*Miss Finster* Yes, Sir.
A

[Exit]

29
Q

Elinor
… the foundations of the asylum were part of the Abbey Grange.

*Van Helsing* We must have a plan. If we cannot find his last box —
A

[Enter]

30
Q

Seward
Not again, Smedgley!!

A

What? Oh, no, Sir. I just wanted to report that Renfield is snug as a bug in solitary. Sleeping like a cute, filthy baby, Sir.

31
Q

Seward
Excellent, Smedgley! Now keep him that way. I don’t care if you have to drug him or chain him to the walls.

A

Yes, Sir!

32
Q

Van Helsing
Actually, Mr Smedgley, I would like for you to arrange for Renfield to be able to escape. Preferably sometime after midnight.

A

What, Sir? Did you say let him escape?

33
Q

Seward
Are you sure this is a wise plan, Professor?

*Van Helsing* No. It’s not a good plan. It’s a last ditch effort! We must find the last earth box before dusk.
A

[look crestfallen] Sir, I’m sorry, Sir, but I can’t! I just can’t do this any more! Looneys crawling down walls! People drained of blood! Vampires!! I’m sorry, Sir. I’m just a poor hospital attendant. I’m no scientist or professor of the… whatever it is. I just don’t think I can do this any more, Sir. So this is my resignation, Sir. I’ll be leaving before dark!

34
Q

Seward
Smedgley, please you cannot leave now. Not when we need you the most. Think of Miss Mina!

A

I know, Sir. I’m sorry, Sir.

35
Q

Elinor
Think of poor Miss Finster!

A

Miss Finster? What happened to her?

36
Q

Elinor
It would appear that Dracula put her under his spell, as well.

*Seward* You see, Smedgley. We all need you now more than ever.
A

Blimey! [Thinks] You know, my great, great, great, great, great grandfather fought at the Battle of Bosworth Field. He was an archer! Faced down hundreds of French knights on horseback. And my great, great, great Grandfather, George Smedgley, fought with Nelson at the Battle of Trafalgar against an overwhelming French force. So, I suppose I can face Looney and some evil Count.

37
Q

Seward
That’s the English fighting spirit, Smedgley. Good man!!

A

Yes, Sir. [go to leave] Is the Count French, Sir?

38
Q

Seward
Transylvanian!

A

Oh, well. Same difference, right Sir?

[Go to leave; turn back]

You will let Miss Finster know how brave I’ve been? Won’t you, Sir?

39
Q

Elinor
I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you, Smedgley. Woman to woman.

[Gives British salute]

A

Yes, Ma’am. Thank you, Ma’am.

[Salute and exit]

40
Q

Elinor
I’ve just checked all of warding around the house. There is no way in, except for that door. If Dracula means to attack, he must enter there.

*Van Helsing* Good.
A

[Enter with Applebee and and Smedgley]

41
Q

[Dracula enters through window]

*Dracula* Renfield! You sniveling fool! You have betrayed me. You have tried to turn my new queen against me. Nobody betrays the master and lives!

[Grab Renfield by the neck]

A

[All enter]

42
Q

Dracula
Twenty minutes? Might as well be twenty years! Do you think you have any hope to hold me here? I am the king of my kind! You could not hold me here for twenty seconds if I did not choose.

You fools, with your garlic and crucifixes. Do you truly believe that I fear any of your toys? Look.

[Raises hand; Smedgley’s cross bursts into flames]

A

Whoa!

43
Q

Dracula
Ah, Mister Smedgley. Thank you for taking such good care of my pet, Renfield. For your good service, I will let you leave this place. To live another day.

A

Well… well, thank you, Sir. But, you see I made this promise, and well, there is this matter of Miss Finster.

44
Q

[Dracula starts to put whammy on Smedgley]

*Dracula* Leave now, Smedgley, and no harm will come to you.

…
Elinor
[Shoots Dracula] Hey!

*Dracula* Let this sight torture you to your death.
A

[Grabbed; tear face off]

45
Q

Van Helsing
He has shown us the way. Come quickly, we have no time to lose!

*Elinor* I will get the weapon and follow behind.
A

[All exit]

[Get up from behind couch covered in blood]

[Stagger to stairs and exit right]

46
Q

Harker
Yes, Professor.

[Harker and Applebee take Mina and Miss Finster off]

*Van Helsing* The first thing we must do is burn his body. That is the only sure way to…
A

[Enter with Lucy, Renfield and children]

[Approach the gang, so there are two lines]

Dracula — Smedgley (1 decks)

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