Life Compass Flashcards
COMPARISON
i DON’T COMPARE MYSELF TO OTHERS.
I ONLY COMPARE MY CURRENT SELF WITH MY FORMER SELF.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
i MAKE AN EFFORT WITH MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND HOW I DRESS.
IT IMPROVES MY CONFIDENCE AND HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE ME.
HOWEVER I DO NOT REGARD APPEARANCE AS CRUCIAL.
BEING A DECENT PERSON IS FAR MORE APPEALING TO OTHERS IN THE LONG-RUN THAN GOOD LOOKS ALONE.
AUTHENTICITY
I ALWAYS STRIVE TO BE WHO I AM.
I DON’T LIKE TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE TO FIT IN.
I AM CONFIDENT IN MY OWN UNIQUE ATTRIBUTES.
I DO NOT WANT TO BE A CLONE OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOURS.
SELF-JUDGEMENT
I DON’T JUDGE MYSELF FOR LAPSES OR FAILURE.
I AM ABLE TO LET GO OF THINGS IN THE PAST.
I CONCERN MYSELF MORE WITH SELF-IMPROVEMENT IN THE FUTURE.
SELF-WORTH
MY SELF-WORTH IS NOT RELIANT ON PRAISE FROM OTHERS.
I DEFINE MY OWN SUCCESSES BY MY OWN STANDARDS.
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE MAY THINK IS IRRELEVANT.
CONVERSATIONAL INPUT
I DON’T TEND TO LEAP INTO CONVERSATION WHILE OTHERS ARE TALKING.
THEREFORE i DON’T TEND TO GET CUT OFF.
I CONTINUE TO THE END OF MY SENTENCE AND SPEAK WITH MOMENTUM.
GROUP DYNAMICS
I TREAT EACH MEMBER OF A GROUP AS AN INDIVIDUAL.
i REFER TO EACH PERSON BY THEIR NAME, DIRECTLY.
I GIVE EACH INDIVIDUAL A FEW SECONDS OF MY FOCUSED EYE CONTACT
TURN YOUR BODY TO BRING OTHERS INTO THE CIRCLE
COMMON GROUND
I EMPHASISE SIMILARITIES WITH OTHERS RATHER THAN DIFFERENCES.
i GIVE SINCERE COMPLIMENTS WHEN THEY COME TO MIND.
INITIAL RESPONSE TO RUDENESS
WHEN IN A CONFLICT SITUATION I PREFER TO USE NON-VERBAL SIGNALS.
THIS OFTEN EXPRESSES MY EMOTIONS BETTER THAN WORDS.
i LOOK AT INDIVIDUALS CAUSING CONFLICT WITH A CALM STARE, WITHOUT MALICE NOR A SMILE.
IT GIVES THEM THE IMPRESSION OF BEING WATCHED.
I SHIFT MY ATTENTION AWAY FROM RUDE PEOPLE SO THEY HAVE TO BE POLITE TO GET IT BACK.
I IMPLEMENT A PROLONGED SILENCE FOLLOWED BY A WARM AND ENGAGING RESPONSE TO OTHERS.
I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I DON’T ENJOY CONFLICT AND THAT THE OTHER PERSON PROBABLY DOES NOT EITHER
i AVOID STATEMENTS THAT SUGGEST MY OPINION IS INFALLIBLE OR FACT, SUGGESTING THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
I VALIDATE THEM PERSONALLY AND COMPLIMENT THEM, BUT CRITICISE THEIR BEHAVIOUR.
I SAY DIRECTLY WHAT BEHAVIOUR I PREFER.
I DETACH MY EGO FROM PERSONAL ATTACKS AND TRY NOT TO BE HEAVILY INVESTED IN WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU.
REACTION TO THREATENED FACE
i TRY NOT TO READ NEGATIVE INTENT IN AN AMBIGIOUS SITUATION.
i EVEN TRY TO READ POSITIVE INTENT WHEN PEOPLE ARE BEING UNDENIABLY RUDE.
REJECTION
I CONSIDER REJECTION AS A KEY PART OF EVERYDAY LIFE.
I BELIEVE IT IS NARCISSITIC TO BELIEVE THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD LIKE ME OR WANT ME.
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO WILL REJECT ME TODAY BUT THAT IS NOT AN INDICATION OF MY QUALITY.
THE WHOLE WORLD IS NOT MY AUDIENCE.
I DO NOT INTEND TO COWER IN A CORNER DUE TO A HANDFUL OF REJECTIONS.
AT OLD AGE I WILL WISH I WAS AROUND TO EXPERIENCE LIFE ENOUGH TO BE REJECTED.
I WILL NOT THROW AWAY MY POTENTIAL OUT OF ALLOWING REJECTION TO CRIPPLE ME.
WORK ETHIC
I DO NOT LABEL ACTIVITIES TO EXPAND MY MIND AS WORK OR A CHORE
MANY PEOPLE WOULD SEE WHAT I AM DOING AS A DREAM JOB
I SAY TO MYSELF THAT I HAVE A LIBERTY TO READ OR LEARN ABOUT WHATEVER I WANT TO
I LIKE TO CHANGE THE CONTEXT AND BECOME EXCITED AND ADDICTED TO PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
EXCITING SOCIAL EVENTS
I CONSIDER INDIVIDUALS WHO HOST GREAT PARTIES, SOCIAL EVENTS OR ACTIVITIES AS A ‘HUB’
IT IS IMPORTANT TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE ‘HUB’ IN YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE AND TO BECOME A ‘HUB’ YOURSELF
THE EASIEST WAY TO DO THIS IS TO ORGANISE A HYPED-UP PARTY OR SOCIAL GATHERING
BEING SARCASTIC
SARCASM GENERALLY REQUIRES A TELL TO BE DETECTED
I TRY TO GO OVER THE TOP WITH MY CHOICE OF WORDS, TONE OR BODY LANGUAGE
I AM NOT FLAT IN MY DELIVERY OF SARCASM.
LIKEABILITY
I PRIORITISE MAKING OPPORTUNITIES TO BRING PRAISE AND ATTENTION TO OTHERS RATHER THAN TO MYSELF.
I GIVE IT FREELY AND IT USUALLY COMES BACK FREELY.
I DO NOT TRY TO WIN EVERY MOMENT OF BANTER, I GO WITH THE JOKE.
TAKING COMPLIMENTS
I TRY TO BE SINCERE AND GENUINE WHEN THANKING PEOPLE FOR COMPLIMENTS
ARRIVING AT A SOCIAL OCCASION
I FOCUS ON SETTING A RELAXED TONE WHEN I ENTER THE ROOM
i LINGER AND RELAX IN THE ROOM, CREATING A TONE OF PHYSICAL COMFORT
i WARMLY GREET PEOPLE WITH A HANDSHAKE OR A TOUCH
AVOIDING WEAKNESSES
I TRY NOT TO FANTASISE ABOUT THE CROWNING MOMENT OF GLORY OR UNEARNED PAY-OFF OF MY GOALS
i PREFER TO VISUALISE THE STEPS REQUIRED TO REACH A GOAL
i ALWAYS TRUST MY OWN SELF-EFFICACY AND ABILITY TO COMPLETE A REASONABLE TASK
EMOTIONS
I ALWAYS HAVE AN OUTLET TO EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS, BE IT FRIENDS, FAMILY OR PERSONAL JOURNALLING
I DO NOT DISOWN ASPECTS OF MYSELF OR EMOTIONS
i TRY TO EMPHASISE WITH OTHERS AND STEP INTO THEIR SHOES BEFORE TAKING SOMETHING PERSONALLY
EXUDING CONFIDENCE
I USE SLOW, LANGUID MOVEMENTS, I DON’T RUSH TO RESPOND OR MOVE
I ACT CARE-FREE AND MOVE AT A PACE THAT IS SELF-DETERMINED
MY DEEPEST CONFIDENCE IS EMBRACING THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE AND NOT CREATING A SOCIAL PERCEPTION
RESPONSE TO SUSTAINED/DIRECT RUDENESS
I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I DON’T ENJOY CONFLICT AND THAT THE OTHER PERSON PROBABLY DOES NOT EITHER
I AVOID STATEMENTS THAT SUGGEST MY OPINION IS INFALLIBLE OR FACT, SUGGESTING THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
I VALIDATE THEM PERSONALLY AND COMPLIMENT THEM, BUT CRITICISE THEIR BEHAVIOUR.
I SAY DIRECTLY WHAT BEHAVIOUR I PREFER.
I DETACH MY EGO FROM PERSONAL ATTACKS AND TRY NOT TO BE HEAVILY INVESTED IN WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU.
SMOKING
I USED TO BELIEVE SMOKING WON ME SOCIAL VALIDATION OR CREDIT.
I USED TO ENJOY THE CONCEPT OF THE HABIT MORE THAN THE ACTUAL PROCESS.
I DON’T SMOKE ANYMORE BECAUSE THE NEGATIVES OUTWEIGH THE POSITIVES.
MY HEALTH AND VITALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN DELUSIONAL IDEAS ABOUT GRANDEUR.
GAINING ROMANTIC INTEREST
I ALWAYS STAY RELAXED ABOUT POSSIBLE LOVE INTERESTS
I KEEP THINGS AT AN ARM’S LENGTH BY PLAYING HOT AND COLD
I GIVE MY FULL ATTENTION TO AN INTEREST FOR SHORT BURSTS OF TIME
THEN I LEAVE TO ATTEND TO OTHER BUSINESS
SOCIAL ANXIETY
TURN OBVIOUS VULNERABILITY INTO CHARISMA BY GENUINELY STATING THAT YOU FEEL A LITTLE NERVOUS
ALLOW YOUR FACE TO EXPRESS EMOTION WHILST REMAINING NON-REACTIVE
FOLLOW THE THREE-SECOND RULE OF EYE CONTACT, MOVING YOUR GAZE TO OTHERS AROUND YOU
SHOW YOUR PALMS AND GESTICULATE WHILE YOU SPEAK
DO NOT LIMIT YOUR RANGE OF MOTION OR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND COMMIT FULLY TO EACH INTERACTION
GENUINENESS
I TRY TO BE GENUINE AND SOMETIMES TELL TRUTHS THAT HARM MY OWN REPUTATION
I BELIEVE I AM AN INDIVIDUAL WHO IS STRONG ENOUGH TO NOT NEED OTHERS TO LIKE ME
REACTING TO EVENTS
i TRY TO BE VERY NON-REACTIVE IN MY LIFE
i TRY NOT TO ADOPT OTHER PEOPLE’S EMOTIONAL TONE
THIS PRACTICE CREATES A STURDY EMOTIONAL CENTRE
I OFTEN LIST THINGS THAT COULD SET OFF A REACTION AND DISPEL THE POSSIBILITY
HANDLE TEASING
I TAKE UP MORE SPACE
I LAUGH WITH THE GROUP RATHER THAN RESISTING THE JOKE
I TRY TO SEPARATE WHO I AM FROM THE ASPECT THAT IS BEING TEASED
DOUBLE DOWN ON THE JOKE AND AMPLIFY IT TO SPREAD THE LAUGHTER
SOCIAL ANXIETY
I OFTEN USED TO SUFFER INTENSE SOCIAL ANXIETY
I NOW OPEN UP MORE BODY, UNCROSSING MY LEGS AND TILTING MY HEAD UP, REVEALING MY PALMS
I THINK “WILL I CARE ABOUT THIS IN TEN YEARS?”
I TRY NOT TO FEAR EVENTS THAT HAPPEN IN THE EXTERNAL WORLD, NOTHING IS ON THE LINE
I HAVE NOTHING TO GET BEYOND MYSELF
I RECOGNISE THAT HAPINESS IS EITHER THERE FOR THE CLIMB OR NOT AT ALL
FILLER WORDS
i TRY NOT TO USE FILLER WORDS SUCH AS ‘ERM’, ‘ER’ OR ‘LIKE’
I DO NOT FEAR TOO MUCH SILENCE
I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I CAN BE SILENT FOR LONGER THAN 8 SECONDS AND STILL RESPOND
DEAL WITH RUDE PEOPLE
FIRST CALMLY ACCEPT THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE HOW PEOPLE ARE WITH A SMILE
RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIP
DRAMA QUEENS WHO STIR UP CONTROVERSY
FLAKES WHO DON’T COMMIT TO ASPECTS OF THEIR LIFE
THE WAY A PERSON TREATS STRANGERS OF “LOWER” STATUS
PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOUR IN FAMILY
EXPECTATIONS TO BE TREATED LIKE A PRINCESS
SOMEBODY UNFLEXIBLE WHO DOES NOT COMPROMISE
NOT LIKING THEIR FRIENDS - WE ARE ALL PRODUCTS OF THE FIVE PEOPLE WE SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH
SOMEBODY WHO BREAKS OTHER PEOPLE’S CONFIDENCE TO TELL YOU A SECRET
SOMEONE WHO IS HEAVILY ENGAGED IN APPEARANCE-BASED SOCIAL MEDIA
HISTORY OF NOT HAVING LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIPS
GIRLS WHO BLAME THEIR EX BOYFRIENDS ENTIRELY FOR BREAK-UPS
STORYTELLING
GIVE PEOPLE A REASON, A STRONG EMOTION OR A DRAMA TO COME TO ENGAGE THEM WITH WHY YOUR STORY IS RELEVANT
SHARE THE SPOTLIGHT WITH OTHERS PRESENT WHO COULD BE RELEVANT TO THE STORY
OVERTHINKING
OBSERVE YOUR THOUGHTS RATHER THAN BECOMING EMBEDDED IN THEM
USE YOUR SENSES TO RE-ENGAGE WITH THE MOMENT
ALLOW THE THOUGHTS TO COME AND GO
ST
FRIENDSHIPS TO MAINTAIN
A LOYAL FRIEND - NON-JUDGMENTAL WHO SUPPORT THE OTHER PERSON
A FEARLESS ADVENTURER WHO BRING US OUT OF OUR SHELLS
A BRUTALLY HONEST CONFIDANT
A FRIEND FROM A DIFFERENT CULTURE
GUAGING INTEREST
MAKE MICRO-INTERACTIONS OF EYE CONTACT WITH EVERYBODY AND GIVE A SMALL SMILE
USE ENOUGH EYE CONTACT THAT A GIRL CAN SENSE YOU ARE APPROACHING WITHOUT DEMONSTRATING ANY HESITATION
1-3 SECONDS OF TOUCH ON THE ARM IS GENERALLY ACCEPTABLE TO GAUGE HER INTEREST
FLIRTATION
VANITY
IN MY LIFE BEING HANDSOME DOES NOT SUPERSEDE EVERYTHING ELSE
I TRY NOT TO OBSESS OVER MY APPEARANCE
