Life Coaching Intrinsic Needs (Cues and Questions) Flashcards
Belief, Emotion, and Behaviour Patterns
How do you remember the ICBA framework?
Mnemonic:
“I Can Be Awesome”
Steps:
I- Identify/Awareness
C- Challenge/Choice
B- Belief You Can/Shift
A- Action/Will
Visual Tip: Picture the words “I Can Be Awesome” written boldly on a whiteboard to remember ICBA’s flow.
How do all ICBA steps work together to address intrinsic needs?
Visual Tip: Imagine a cycle or wheel turning smoothly as all parts work together.
Integration:
Identify: Understand the core need or limiting belief.
Challenge: Question patterns or beliefs that are no longer serving you.
Belief You Can: Reconnect with confidence and inner resources.
Action: Take specific steps to align with the need and move forward.
Quote: “Insight without action is a daydream; action without insight is a nightmare.”
What does the “I” in ICBA stand for, and its role in addressing intrinsic needs?
Visual Tip: Imagine a spotlight highlighting a hidden corner in a dark room, symbolizing clarity and awareness.
I = Identify/Awareness/Understanding Assumption
Purpose: Identify and bring awareness to intrinsic needs, emotions, values, or limiting beliefs.
Coaching Prompts:
“You mentioned (emotion…x…), tell me more about this (….x…..)?”
“What else about this (….x…..)?”
“What does this (…..x…..) mean to you?”
“What else does it truly mean to you?”
“What’s driving this feeling or behaviour?”
“How are your values being impacted in this situation?”
“What do you truly need right now?”
Quote: “Awareness is the greatest agent for change.” – Eckhart Tolle
What is a simple way to create awareness of intrinsic needs?
Visual Tip: Picture a magnifying glass focusing on a tiny detail to uncover something important.
Approach: Use reflective questions that explore emotions, values, or triggers.
Example Prompts:
“What emotion comes up for you when you think about this?”
“What does this challenge reveal about what’s important to you?”
What does the “C” in ICBA stand for, and how does it support intrinsic needs?
Visual Tip: Imagine a fork in the road with multiple paths, symbolizing choice.
C = Challenge/Choices
Purpose: Challenge limiting beliefs, assumptions, and patterns to explore alternative perspectives and choices.
Coaching Prompts:
“What belief might be holding you back here?”
“If you could choose differently, what would you do?”
“What’s one small step you could take to challenge this pattern?”
Quote: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose.” – Viktor Frankl
What’s a memorable way to challenge limiting beliefs?
Visual Tip: Imagine breaking a chain that symbolizes being stuck in old beliefs.
Approach: Use “What if” or “Why not” questions to encourage new thinking.
Example Prompts:
“What if the opposite of your belief were true?”
“Why not try a different approach?”
What does the “B” in ICBA stand for, and why is it important?
Visual Tip: Imagine a mirror reflecting an image of someone standing tall, confident and smiling.
B = Belief You Can
Purpose: Cultivate self-belief and confidence by connecting clients with their strengths and past successes.
Coaching Prompts:
“What’s one time you overcame something similar?”
“What strengths do you already have to handle this challenge?”
“What would believing in yourself look like right now?”
Quote: “Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
How do you help a client believe in themselves?
Visual Tip: Imagine a trophy or a gold star representing achievement.
Approach: Highlight evidence of past successes and reinforce small wins.
Example Prompts:
“What’s a recent win, no matter how small?”
“What would someone who believes in you say right now?”
What does the “A” in ICBA stand for, and how does it close the loop?
Visual Tip: Picture a to-do list with the first item checked off, symbolizing progress.
A = Action
Purpose: Translate insights into clear, actionable steps to address intrinsic needs and move forward.
Coaching Prompts:
“What’s one specific action you can take today to address this?”
“How will you hold yourself accountable for this action?”
“How would you sustain your consistency?”
Quote: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
How do you make actions meaningful and manageable?
Visual Tip: Imagine climbing stairs one step at a time, each step bringing you closer to your goal.
Approach: Break down big goals into small, achievable steps.
Example Prompts:
“What’s one tiny step you could take to start?”
“What does success look like after taking this action?”
Emotional Overwhelm / Burnout
Cues:
“I feel exhausted,” “I’m burned out,” “I’m drained,” “It’s too much,” “I can’t keep up,” “I feel overwhelmed.”
What’s the intrinsic need, and how can you guide them?
Visual Memory Tip: Picture a backpack—lighten it by taking out unnecessary items.
Intrinsic Need: Relief, balance, self-care, and prioritization.
Challenge Questions:
“What’s driving you to keep going despite feeling this way?”
“What would happen if you took a break or said no?”
“What are you doing to recharge yourself?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if small adjustments could bring balance and energy back?”
“How could prioritizing your well-being make you more effective?”
Quote:
“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.” – Stephen Covey
Lack of Clarity / Confusion
Cues:
“I don’t know where to start,” “I feel stuck,” “Everything feels messy,” “I’m lost.”
What’s the need, and how can you create focus?
Visual Memory Tip: Imagine a tangled ball of yarn—start with one thread to unravel it.
&
“Imagine using a compass to find your way toward what matters most.”
Intrinsic Need: Guidance, structure, clarity, and focus.
Challenge Questions:
“What’s one small step you can take right now?”
“If you did know the answer, what might it be?”
“What is holding you back from finding clarity?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if being stuck means you’re on the verge of a breakthrough?”
“What are the priorities that genuinely matter to you now?”
Quote:
“Clarity comes from focus and action, not thought.”
“When you’re lost, focus on your inner compass—your values.”
Hesitation / Fear of Failure
Cues:
“What if I fail?” “I’m afraid to make a mistake,” “I’m not sure about this,” “I’m second-guessing myself.”
What’s the need, and how can you inspire courage?
Visual Memory Tip: Visualize a bridge over a canyon—fear holds you back, but courage helps you cross.
Visual Memory Tip: Visualize a bridge over a canyon—fear holds you back, but courage helps you cross.
Intrinsic Need: Confidence, courage, and self-trust.
Challenge Questions:
“What would you do if fear wasn’t a factor?”
“What’s the worst-case scenario, and how would you handle it?”
“What’s the best evidence that you can succeed?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if failure is just part of learning?”
“What strengths have helped you face challenges in the past?”
Quote:
“What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” – Erin Hanson
Low Self-Worth / Lack of Confidence
Cues:
“I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do it,” “I don’t deserve this,” “I feel inadequate.”
What’s the intrinsic need, and how can you encourage self-belief?
Visual Memory Tip: Imagine polishing a diamond—hidden strengths coming to light.
Intrinsic Need: Validation, self-belief, and recognizing strengths.
Challenge Questions:
“What would someone who believes in you say about your abilities?”
“What’s one thing you’re proud of accomplishing?”
“Why are you choosing to believe this about yourself?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if you’re more capable than you think?”
“What strengths can you use to overcome this challenge?”
Quote:
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
Disconnection / Loss of Purpose
Cues:
“What’s the point?” “I feel empty,” “Nothing excites me,” “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
How do you help them reconnect with meaning?
Visual Memory Tip: Picture a compass pointing toward purpose—aligning their path.
Intrinsic Need: Meaning, alignment, and renewed purpose.
Challenge Questions:
“What brought you joy or fulfillment in the past?”
“What would life look like if it aligned with your values?”
“What would you like to (Be, Do, Have) in 10 years point?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if this is a chance to redefine what matters most?”
Quote:
“Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights your way.”
Perfectionism / Unrealistic Expectations
Cues:
“It has to be perfect,” “I’m never satisfied,” “I’ll fail if it’s not right.”
How can you challenge perfectionism?
Visual Memory Tip: Imagine a mosaic—each imperfect piece contributes to the beauty.
Intrinsic Need: Self-compassion and flexibility.
Challenge Questions:
“What does ‘good enough’ look like?”
“What’s the cost of trying to be perfect all the time?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if imperfection is part of progress?”
Quote:
“Done is better than perfect.” – Sheryl Sandberg
Resistance to Change / Fear of the Unknown
Cues:
“I’m not ready,” “What if it doesn’t work out?” “I’m comfortable where I am.”
How do you help them feel safe exploring change?
Visual Memory Tip: Picture a closed door—opening it reveals unexpected opportunities.
Intrinsic Need: Safety and reassurance.
Challenge Questions:
“What’s keeping you in your comfort zone?”
“What opportunities could you miss by staying where you are?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if change opens doors to something better?”
Quote:
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch
Impatience / Unrealistic Timeframes
Cues:
“Why isn’t this happening yet?” “I feel behind,” “I should be further along.”
How can you encourage patience and perspective?
Visual Memory Tip: Think of a growing tree—it takes time to bear fruit.
Intrinsic Need: Patience and gratitude for progress.
Challenge Questions:
“What’s driving your urgency?”
“How might you celebrate the progress you’ve already made?”
Reframing Prompt:
“What if great things take time?”
Quote:
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”
