Lesson 4

Question 1

What are 3 of the poor nonverbal cues when listening?

Answer 1

Looking at watch, picking up objects like cell phone, playing with hair, rolling eyes, looking off in distance, folding arms

Question 2

What are 3 examples of poor listening and attending?

Answer 2

Wrong nonverbal behaviors, body posture, misinterpreting, jumping to conclusions, close-ended questions

Question 3

What are the 3 important components to handling God’s word correctly?

Answer 3

1. The “prescription” itself (applying the appropriate truth from God’s word)
2. The “person” delivering that truth (should be loving and compassionate; can interject truth once an atmosphere of trust and the person being heard is established)
3. The manner in which it is delivered (compassionate and loving)

Question 4

Sincere ______ and ________ for the person you are counseling has far more impact than knowing answers or giving advice.

Answer 4

care, concern

Question 5

Attentiveness is often indicated by these 3 nonverbal cues . . .

Answer 5

Leaning in, a positive body posture, affirmative head nods, avoiding distractions.

Question 6

It is important to appropriately _______________ mental health issues that may be present in order to _________ the amount of shame the person may be feeling.

Answer 6

de-stigmatize, reduce

Question 7

We must model _______ and a sense of _________ and ___________.

Answer 7

trust, respect, empathy

Question 8

Employ these 4 active listening skills . . .

Answer 8

Clarifying, Restating, Reflecting, Summarizing

Question 9

Barriers represent potential obstacles that a caregiver may have to navigate. What are “Focus Barriers?”

Answer 9

Impatience, jumping to conclusions on the part of the caregiver

Question 10

What are “Feeling Barriers?”

Answer 10

unresolved issues, fear and inadequacies on the part of the caregiver

Question 11

What are “Fellowship Barriers?”

Answer 11

Over-identification or under identification with the care-receiver.

Question 12

What are “Listening Barriers?”

Answer 12

When our minds have a tendency to jump ahead or think “this is like other stories” we’ve heard before. We may miss some things the receiver is saying. Every story is different.

Question 13

What is “Red-Flag Listening?”

Answer 13

When the topic is generating significant amounts of emotion or feeling in me, blocking me from hearing the person’s story and I stop listening.

Question 14

What is “Fact-Listening?”

Answer 14

When we’re so focused on capturing every word that we miss the emotions or what’s happening behind what they are saying/experiencing.

Question 15

What is “Speaker-Centered Listening?”

Answer 15

When the speaker has something physically distracting like tattoos or hygiene issues that distract the listener.

Question 16

What is “Too-Deep for Me Listening?”

Answer 16

The info being shared is too complex or coming too rapidly. The listener tunes out because it’s too deep or complicated.

Question 17

What is “Open-Ears - Closed Mind Listening?”

Answer 17

When we say “I’ve been there” - we think we’ve heard the story before so we tune out. Painting everyone’s story the same (remember, no two snow-flakes are the same).

Question 18

What is transference?

Answer 18

A redirection of a care-receivers feelings (positive or negative) for a significant person (usually a parent or authority figure) in his or her life to the caregiver.

Question 19

What is countertransference?

Answer 19

A redirection of the caregiver’s feelings toward the person he or she is working with (One indicator may be when the caregiver is over-supportive, being too transparent on a personal level, and/or trying too hard to befriend the person who is reaching out for help.

Question 20

The word confront derives from the Latin: _ _ _ which means “_________” and _ _ _ which means __________.

Answer 20

com, together, frons, forehead

Literal translation: “Stand in front of an issue with someone.”

Question 21

Successful confrontation is . . .

Answer 21

a face-to-face dialogue between two parties resulting in a resolution to the problem and an improved relationship between the parties.

Question 22

Before confronting and attempting conflict resolution, adopt the meaning of Proverbs 18:13 which says . . .

Answer 22

“He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.”

Question 23

What does Proverbs 15:28 say about confrontation?

Answer 23

“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”

Question 24

Before looking outward (in confrontation) look _________. Ask God what He _______ in the situation and especially what He wants from ____.

Answer 24

upward, wants, me

Question 25

Regarding self disclosure: When I know things about me that you don’t know, that is called ________ _________.

Answer 25

Hidden self

Question 26

When I don’t know things about myself that you know (ie bad breath zone), that is called ________ _______.

Answer 26

Blind self

Question 27

Regarding self disclosure: When I don’t know and you don’t know (the God zone) that is called my _______ _______.

Answer 27

Unknown self (or the God zone)

Question 28

In which communication zone does healing and transformation usually take place

Answer 28

The God zone