Lesson 4 Flashcards
What are 3 of the poor nonverbal cues when listening?
Looking at watch, picking up objects like cell phone, playing with hair, rolling eyes, looking off in distance, folding arms
What are 3 examples of poor listening and attending?
Wrong nonverbal behaviors, body posture, misinterpreting, jumping to conclusions, close-ended questions
What are the 3 important components to handling God’s word correctly?
- The “prescription” itself (applying the appropriate truth from God’s word)
- The “person” delivering that truth (should be loving and compassionate; can interject truth once an atmosphere of trust and the person being heard is established)
- The manner in which it is delivered (compassionate and loving)
Sincere ______ and ________ for the person you are counseling has far more impact than knowing answers or giving advice.
care, concern
Attentiveness is often indicated by these 3 nonverbal cues . . .
Leaning in, a positive body posture, affirmative head nods, avoiding distractions.
It is important to appropriately _______________ mental health issues that may be present in order to _________ the amount of shame the person may be feeling.
de-stigmatize, reduce
We must model _______ and a sense of _________ and ___________.
trust, respect, empathy
Employ these 4 active listening skills . . .
Clarifying, Restating, Reflecting, Summarizing
Barriers represent potential obstacles that a caregiver may have to navigate. What are “Focus Barriers?”
Impatience, jumping to conclusions on the part of the caregiver
What are “Feeling Barriers?”
unresolved issues, fear and inadequacies on the part of the caregiver
What are “Fellowship Barriers?”
Over-identification or under identification with the care-receiver.
What are “Listening Barriers?”
When our minds have a tendency to jump ahead or think “this is like other stories” we’ve heard before. We may miss some things the receiver is saying. Every story is different.
What is “Red-Flag Listening?”
When the topic is generating significant amounts of emotion or feeling in me, blocking me from hearing the person’s story and I stop listening.
What is “Fact-Listening?”
When we’re so focused on capturing every word that we miss the emotions or what’s happening behind what they are saying/experiencing.
What is “Speaker-Centered Listening?”
When the speaker has something physically distracting like tattoos or hygiene issues that distract the listener.
What is “Too-Deep for Me Listening?”
The info being shared is too complex or coming too rapidly. The listener tunes out because it’s too deep or complicated.
What is “Open-Ears - Closed Mind Listening?”
When we say “I’ve been there” - we think we’ve heard the story before so we tune out. Painting everyone’s story the same (remember, no two snow-flakes are the same).
What is transference?
A redirection of a care-receivers feelings (positive or negative) for a significant person (usually a parent or authority figure) in his or her life to the caregiver.
What is countertransference?
A redirection of the caregiver’s feelings toward the person he or she is working with (One indicator may be when the caregiver is over-supportive, being too transparent on a personal level, and/or trying too hard to befriend the person who is reaching out for help.
The word confront derives from the Latin: _ _ _ which means “_________” and _ _ _ which means __________.
com, together, frons, forehead
Literal translation: “Stand in front of an issue with someone.”
Successful confrontation is . . .
a face-to-face dialogue between two parties resulting in a resolution to the problem and an improved relationship between the parties.
Before confronting and attempting conflict resolution, adopt the meaning of Proverbs 18:13 which says . . .
“He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.”
What does Proverbs 15:28 say about confrontation?
“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”
Before looking outward (in confrontation) look _________. Ask God what He _______ in the situation and especially what He wants from ____.
upward, wants, me
