Lecture 4 Flashcards
What is communication?
Consequential process where one person transmits information to another, many opportunities for misunderstanding
What is nonverbal communication?
Nonverbal behavior includes everything that is not words & syntax:
Facial expression
Tone of voice
Gestures
Body posture/movement
Use of touch
Eye gaze
What are the 5 functions if nonverbal cues?
Providing information, regulation interaction, defining the nature of the relationship, interpersonal influence, & impression management
What is providing information as a function of nonverbal behavior?
A person’s behavior allows others to make inferences about his or her intentions, feelings, traits & meaning
Ex. a husband’s facial expression makes his wife think that he is upset
What is regulating interaction as a function of nonverbal information?
Cues that regulate the efficient give & take of smooth conversations & other interactions
Ex. Someone starts to speak because they hear the other person’s voice drop on their last word
What is defining the nature of the relationship as a function of nonverbal behaviors?
The type of relationship people have can be evident in their nonverbal behavior
Ex. Lovers stand closer, touch more, & look at each other more
What is interpersonal influence as a function of nonverbal behavior?
Goal-oriented behavior designed to influence someone else
Ex. when requesting a favor someone may lean forwards and touch them on the arm
What is impression management as a function of nonverbal behavior?
Nonverbal behavior that is managed by a person or a couple to create or enhance a particular image
Ex. a couple may hold hand and pretend happy at a party even though they just fought
Why are facial expressions important?
Can be powerful indicators of mood & emotion
Are facial expressions universal?
There are still debates about the universality of facial expressions of emotion
But the similarity of the 6 expressions from one culture to the next suggests that they’re hardwired into our species
Differences between expressions of highly related emotions tend to be small but are differentiable such as pride, compassion, pleasure, & joy
Why is eye gaze important?
Signals attentions & holding someone’s gaze suggests attraction
People who hold our gaze with friendly facial expressions are perceived as more likeable
Averting your gaze when your eyes meet someone else’s signals disinterest
What is the importance of pupil dilation?
Pupil dilation indicates interest & can predict sexual attraction
Why is body movement & posture important?
Brief observation of the behavior of others allows us to judge their personalities and sexual orientation with some accuracy
Body posture also signal status
High-status / confident people adopt open, asymmetric postures that take up a lot of space
Why is touch important?
People with firm, full, long handshakes tend to be more extraverted & open to experience & lower in negative emotionally than people with wimpy handshakes are
Different touches have different meanings: stroking an arm (love), patting an arm (sympathy) are different from hitting (anger)
People touch each other more when their relationship is more intimate
What is interpersonal distance?
contributes to the importance of touching because you have to be close to do so
What is the intimate zone?
extends about a foot & a half from the front of our chests, if two people are in the intimate zone the interaction it is likely that the interaction is hostile or loving
What is the personal zone?
1 ½ to 4 feet away from us, more interactions occur here
What is the social zone?
4 to 12 feet, tend to be more businesslike (ex. Interview)
What are public zones?
beyond 12 feet, structured interaction such as between an instructor & their students in a lecture
Asian countries typically use larger distances than these
How does temperature impact interpersonal distance?
in warmer countries people prefer closer distance when they interact with strangers but larger distances with intimate partners than people in colder temperatures
How does gender impact interpersonal distance?
women like somewhat larger distances than men do
What are chemosignals?
Different emotions cause people to emit different chemicals that can be smelled
People born without a sense of smell are at an interpersonal disadvantage because of this
How does paralanguage impact attraction?
All variations in a person’s voice other than the actual words they use, such as rhythm, pitch, loudness, & rate (how people say things)
Our voices provide more information about what we’re feeling than our facial expressions do
Women sound more attractive when they’re ovulating, probably because of the impacts of hormones on the larynx & doesn’t happen to women on the pill
What are some cultural differences in nonverbal behavior?
Appropriateness of nonverbal behavior differs across settings and cultures (display rules)
The interpretation of eye-gaze varies (interest vs. disrespect)
The physical proximity we expect between strangers varies
The meaning of some gestures (emblems) varies (ex. Thumbs up is that’s great in north America but similar to the middle finger in the Middle East)
How do the different components that impact attraction combine?
each component has its own impacts on interaction, but they usually reinforce each other to convey information
Nonverbal vs verbal
each component has its own impacts on interaction, but they usually reinforce each other to convey information
How does mimicking actions impact attraction?
Seeing nonverbal behaviors that resemble our own makes us more charmed & more at ease, interacting with someone that doesn’t mimic us can be stressful
Why does mimicking impact attraction?
May be hardwired because of mirror neurons that activate when someone is engaging in the same behavior as us, basis for empathy
What is nonverbal sensitivity?
The sensitivity & accuracy that couples read, decode, & correctly interpret each other’s nonverbal behavior predict the happiness of the relationship
Why is nonverbal communication important in intimate relationships?
How accurate couples can communicate verbally predicts how happy their relationships will be
Spouses that do poorly at nonverbal communication tend to be dissatisfied & when problems occur it’s usually the husband’s fault
Why are women better at nonverbal communication?
women spend more time watching other people eyes than men do so they can read expressions better
What is Self disclosure?
process of revealing personal information to someone else, defining characteristic of intimacy, you like a stranger more if you know intimate details about them
How does self-disclosure develop?
Most relationships begin with small talk and then move to deeper topics, following the social penetration theory (relationships develop through systematic changes in communication)
According to social penetration theory what increases when the superficial conversation is rewarding?
communication will increase in breadth (variety of topics) and depth (personal significance of topics)
What is Reciprocity of self-disclosure?
we tend match the openness of our disclosures to that of or partners
What is the Interpersonal process model of intimacy?
suggests that self-disclosure and partner responsiveness contribute to the experience of intimacy in interactions
It begins when a person shares something personal and self-relevant with a partner.
If the partner responds with warm, positive regard, the communicating partner feels understood, validated, cared for, and closer to the other person.
Personal disclosures that make people vulnerable invite reciprocal disclosures, which further builds closeness and trust between partners.
Doing something novel with a partner invites new opportunities for disclosures and closeness
How does self-disclosure impact coming out?
People know they’re gay before they come out!
They usually disclose first to a close friend, and such disclosures usually go well.
Tend not to disclose to parents for another year or more (usually Mom)
LsGs are much more likely to disclose then Bs
What are secrets/taboo topics?
sensitive matters that partners agree, explicitly or implicitly, not to discuss.
What is the most common taboo topic?
state of one’s relationship
How do secrets impact relationships?
Partners who hold many secrets from one another tend to have poor intimacy, but withholding some secrets can also maintain or protect a relationship.
How does self-disclosure impact relationship quality?
Self-disclosure that fits the situation is associated with high relationship quality in close relationships for several reasons:
We reveal more personal information to those we like.
We also tend to like others more because we have opened up to them.
Others like us more when we self-disclose
How does self-disclosure impact well-being?
Self-disclosure is not only good for our relationships, it’s also good for us.
People who have substantive, deep conversations with others are happier and healthier than those who stick to superficial small talk.
And expressions of affection are particularly powerful for both our relationships and our personal health.
What are gender differences in topics of communication?
Discussion of people, relationships & feelings feature more prominently in women’s dialog
Men tend to stick to more impersonal matters, such as sports, politics, and celebrities, and they seek a few laughs instead of support and counsel
Nevertheless, when we’re chatting online using written messages, we usually can’t tell the sexes apart.
What are the Gender differences in communication styles?
Women tend to speak less forcefully and hedge more than men do, but they are not more talkative overall.
Perhaps because women are more concerned with how the message will be received than are men
There aren’t big differences in the way men and women talk.
But there are meaningful differences in language use from one person to the next, E.g., awful, worse, horrible, annoying à higher in neuroticism
What are the gender differences in self-disclosure?
Men tend to disclose less to their partners than women do, but they do disclose more personal information to women than to other men.
As a result, interactions that involve women tend to be more intimate than interactions that involve only men.
But these differences mostly stem from socialized differences in expressivity
What is kitchen sinking?
Confuse issues by addressing several topics in once
What is off beam?
People that kitchen sink likely wander from topic to topic
What is yes-butting?
Finding faults with anything their partner says
What is cross-complaining?
responding to a partner’s complaint with one of their own
What are the implications of miscommunication?
Unhappy partners do a poor job of saying what they mean
Unhappy partners also do a poor job hearing each other:
They jump to conclusions with misreading & wrongly assume that they understand their partners
They interrupt to express disagreements frequently
What is Negative affect when talking (4 horseman of the apocalypse)?
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, & stonewalling
What is criticism?
framing a problem as a deficit in one’s partner.
What is contempt?
acting superior and mocking or insulting one’s partner.
What is defensiveness?
Replying with excuses or counterattacks
What is stonewalling?
when someone withdraws to avoid conflicts.
What are the consequences of Negative affect when talking (4 horseman of the apocalypse)?
Belligerence and aggressiveness can result
Why is giving a behavior description helpful?
By identifying as plainly as possible a specific and discrete behavior that has upset you; avoid generalities (e.g., don’t say “You always…!”)
What are I statements?
Statements that start with “I” and then describe a distinct, specific emotional reaction
What are XYZ statements?
combine behavior descriptions with I-statements:
“When you did X in situation Y, I felt Z.”
What is a paraphrasing as a vital task in active listening?
involves repeating a message in our own words and giving the sender a chance to agree that that’s what he or she really meant
What is perception checking as vital task in active listening?
When we assess the accuracy of our inferences about a partner’s feelings by asking for clarification and feedback
Why is active listening important?
Communicating that attention and comprehension to our partners so that they know we care about what they’ve said
What are tips for staying cool?
void the temptation to attribute hostile intent to your partner.
Schedule regular meetings for the polite airing of grievances.
Don’t keep trading sarcastic insults when you get angry; take a “time out.”
Take just six long, slow, deep breaths per minute, and you will calm down, faster than you think.
What is validation?
acknowledges the legitimacy of our partners’ opinions and communicates respect for their positions even when we disagree with them.
What is recognition?
Respect for a partner’s point of view can make disagreements much more tolerable
What are Personal benefits of self-disclosure to partners?
telling the people you love that you love them experience improved neuroendocrine responses to stress & over time it lowers cholesterol levels, heart rates & blood pressures
How does avoidant attachment styles impact communication?
Engage in less self-disclosure & express emotions less openly & decode other’ expressions less accurately
How does abandonment attachment impact communication?
More talkative, disclose too much too soon
How does secure attachment impact communication?
ted to exhibit warmer, more expressive nonverbal behavior, are more affectionate, keep less secrets
How does texting impact relationships?
A constant stream of superficial & trivial text result in lower satisfaction & happy partners send high proportions of more meaningful messages that contain thoughtful self-disclosure, affirmations, & assurances
But it doesn’t give the same rewards as talking in person doe
How should be communicate sympathy & concern?
Acknowledging what the person is going through (like losing a loved one)
Respond with something simple such as I’m so sorry or I’ve been thinking of you
How does being a high opener impact communication?
Seem more attentive during conversation & look interested
Women tend to be better openers than men
What is poor encoding?
the senders gives a confusing message that is difficult to read
What is poor decoding?
received fails to correctly interpret a message that is clear to everyone else
What are common decoding errors?
Husbands in unhappy marriages send more confusing messages & made more decoding errors than happy husbands did, no differences in the wives, & the poorer communication was the husband’s fault
In unhappy marriages both the husbands & wives understood strangers better than they understood each other
What is the cycle of nonverbal insensitivity?
nonverbal insensitivity makes someone a less rewarding partner but once partners become dissatisfied, they tend to tune each other out, causing them to try less
