k Flashcards

1
Q

LLOYD: (Answering.) Hazleton Playhouse… Yes, auditions are going on right now. If you’re interested, I suggest you… Well, we have an awful lot of Juliets already, so you might wanna… Yes, Juliet does get to kiss Romeo… Quite a few times, yes… No, Mr. Cole won’t be at the audition. The director of the production will be reading with you… (Click.)…Hello? Hello?

A

KATE: All right, so we’ve seen Kim as Juliet and Lisa as
Juliet, Vera, Susan, Tami, Juliet, Juliet, Juliet… okay. (She
calls out off stage.) Bernie Kling. Bernie?

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2
Q

BERNIE: (Entering.) Yeah.

A

KATE: Bernie, you’re next but I can’t read your writing. What
part are you reading for?

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3
Q

BERNIE: Juliet

A

KATE: (Takes a beat – thinks to herself.) It’ll be tough. But I think I can make it work.

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4
Q

PAMELA: Miss Ellinger…things seem to be going swimmingly, what what?

A

KATE: Oh, yes, swimmingly, Pamela. Swimmingly

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5
Q

PAMELA: Problem?

A

KATE: Hmmm…let’s see, the phone’s ringing off the hook,
I’ve got a lobby full of pushy, angry Juliets, and Sid’s
having his tenth nervous breakdown, even as we speak.
So, nope. No problems here.

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6
Q

PAMELA: Well, good news that. I don’t think Hazelton’s ever seen such excitement. It does appear to be thrilling, doesn’t it? A real celebrity in our own hometown. (KATE stares blankly at HER.) Mr. Cole. (No response.) He was on television, yes?

A

KATE: (Slightly annoyed.) Oh, right. On a soap opera.
(Pause.) For eight months

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7
Q

PAMELA: Yes! That’s right! It’s all here in the paper. (Reading.) “Mr. Cole, having left the daytime drama The Flame Within late last year, had the desire to return to the roots of artistic integrity by joining our local theatre’s production of Romeo and Juliet ‘I see no better way to share my talents than with the people of my own hometown,’ he was quoted as saying.”

A

KATE: Hometown?

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8
Q

AUDREY: Hey, Katie! Double shot. Extra caffeine.

A

KATE: Audrey! You are a mind reader

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9
Q

AUDREY: So, this is exciting, huh, K! Isn’t this exciting?

A

KATE: (With little enthusiasm.) Oh, yeah, exciting. Hey,
where’s this guy come off saying he’s from Hazelton?

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10
Q

AUDREY: He is. Sorta. Well, I mean, his parents moved
here…a couple of months ago. Don’t you read the papers?
(Swooning over her paper.) Oh, and he is just soooooooo
cute! Don’t you think he’s cute?

A

KATE: Only in an obvious kind of way

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11
Q

AUDREY: Katie, sometimes you’re such a dud.

A

KATE: (A little impatient.) So, Aud, what’re you doing here?

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12
Q

AUDREY: I came to audition.

A

KATE: You did? (Small laugh but catching herself.) You did.

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13
Q

AUDREY: Yeah. What’s wrong with that?

A

KATE: Aud, you know I love you, but, seriously…you can’t
even order take-out without getting tongue-tied. (Off
Audrey’s pained expression.) You know, you’re right.
You’re right. You should audition. What role are you
interested in?

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14
Q

AUDREY: Juliet.

A

KATE: Oh, jeez. Do me a favor, Aud. Read for something
else. Anything else. Please?

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15
Q

AUDREY: That’s the only good part.

A

KATE: You don’t understand. Every single person who’s
come in today has insisted on reading for Juliet I don’t
think Sid can take it anymore. He’s close to a breakdown.
Be a pal, Aud, huh? Help me out. Read someone else.

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16
Q

AUDREY: (Disappointed.) Like who?

A

KATE: How ‘bout the Nurse?

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17
Q

AUDREY: But Juliet’s the only one who gets to kiss Romeo.

A

KATE: How ‘bout…how ‘bout Tybalt?

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18
Q

AUDREY: That’s a boy’s part!

A

KATE: Well, here, take a script. Look through it. And pick something… anything but Juliet. Please? Please?

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19
Q

AUDREY: (Trying to be a good sport.) Okay…if you promise
I’ll still be considered for Juliet.

A

KATE: Cross my heart. Thank you Audrey, you are the best…..
KATE: (Cont’d.) Hi, Sid, are you ready for the next actor?

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20
Q

SID: (Flipping out.) NO! No more actors! No more actors!

A

KATE: (Trying to calm HIM.) No, no, Sid, look, this is my
friend. Audrey Russell. You remember Audrey. (SID
mumbles incoherently.) Audrey’s going to be auditioning
for you today… (SID shrieks.) No, no, Sid. No…she’s…
she’s going to be reading for the part of…

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21
Q

You know, Kate, I never thought I’d say this, but
Brayden Cole just might be the best thing that’s ever
happened to me. Not that I ever watched that show he
was on…what was it? (KATE shrugs.) I really should find
that out. But, that’s neither here nor there. What is…is that
this is the most thrilling thing that has happened to me
since I made my directorial debut here six seasons ago
with Midsummer. Did I ever tell you?…
Who knows, with an actor the caliber of
Brayden Cole, there’s no telling how far my career will go…
This could very well be my big break. (No
response from KATE.) You don’t seem very excited for
me.

A

KATE: (Finally stopping for a minute.) Oh, I’m sorry, Sid. I
am. I’m really excited for you

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22
Q

SID: It is exciting, isn’t it? Sidney Nelson Reilly directs
Brayden Cole in William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
… Won’t that look marvelous on a marquee?

A

KATE: Yes, if we had one.

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23
Q

SID: No. No reason at all! Nothing to worry about then.
(Under his breath, to KATE.) And when he gets here, be
nice.

A

KATE: (Insulted.) What’s that supposed to mean?

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24
Q

SID: Nothing, Pamela, nothing. (Taking KATE aside.) Now,
Katie, don’t take this personally. It’s just that Brayden Cole
is a very big star and you can be a little…serious.

A

KATE: Oh, come on, Sid! Don’t tell me you’ve got a thing for
this guy, too!

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25
Q

PAMELA: You best not wait any longer, Sid. The natives
seem to be getting restless.

A

KATE: Tell you what. We’ll get everyone settled and then I’ll
make a call.

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26
Q

SID: Well, I’ll just have to play that part as well. So, there is
your cast. Almost. And I really would like to get a reading
in today… Kate?

A

KATE: I’ll go make a quick call.

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27
Q

Rudy: You’re welcome?

A

KATE: (Quietly to SID.) No answer

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28
Q

SID: Oh, I don’t know. No Romeo.

A

KATE: I can read it for now.

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29
Q

RUDY: So, I thought it went well, ya know. Really, really
well. Do you think it went well, Kate?

A

KATE: It’s only the second rehearsal, Rudy. No one expects
you to be perfect by the second rehearsal.

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30
Q

RUDY: Oh, yeah. Ya think so?

A

KATE: Sure.

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31
Q

AUDREY: There are spiders in there!! You make me go to
the basement knowing that there are spiders in there and
you don’t tell me!!! That is so unfair!

A

KATE: Hey, you wanted to be an actor.

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32
Q

AUDREY: (Growing angry.) Oh, and that’s another thing!
Were you even listening at rehearsal yesterday? I only
have two lines. Two lines!

A

KATE: Now, Audrey, you know what they say. There all no
small parts, only…parts with very little to say.

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33
Q

AUDREY: Yeah? Well, maybe I just won’t say anything at
all.

A

KATE: Whoa, Audrey…

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34
Q

SID: (Looking at the props with great concern.) What’s this?

A

KATE: Swords. (Pause.) For the duel.

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35
Q

SID: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want any more
snooty letters from the PTA. No weapons.

A

KATE: Uh, well, how do you propose to do the fight scenes,
then…with no weapons?

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36
Q

SID: I have a very interesting concept… (Pause for effect.)
Tai Chi.

A

KATE: Excuse me?

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37
Q

SID: I thought of possibly doing it as interpretive dance, but
that’s really overdone, don’t you think?

A

KATE: (Coaxing AUDREY.) C’mon, Aud…Brayden Cole,
stretching and flexing…you can’t miss out on that, can
you?

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38
Q

JASON: You nimrod! Romeo is the lead! And the lead
always goes to the best actor. That’s me.

A

KATE: (Above the noise.) Hey, everyone, it’s now 12:07.
Time we start!

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39
Q

SID: (Nervous.) Kate…we’re missing…you know who

A

KATE: Sid, it’s 12:07. (Checks her watch.) 12:08! We gotta
start.

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40
Q

SID: Well, we can’t have that, can we? (At a total loss.)
Kate?

A

KATE: What do you want me to do, Sid?

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41
Q

RUDY: Uh, where’re you going, Kate?

A

KATE: To find Romeo.

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42
Q

BRAYDEN: To who?

A

KATE: (Humorless.) You’re late.

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43
Q

BRAYDEN: It’s 12:20.

A

KATE: And we start at 12. So you’re late.

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44
Q

SID: And what’s twenty minutes?

A

KATE: More like twenty-four hours and twenty minutes. Or
are we not even going to mention yesterday?

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45
Q

SID: Perfectly understandable.

A

KATE: (To SID.) What are you talking about? That’s the
worst excuse…

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46
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh, yeah, I can understand.

A

KATE: (Trying to gain control of the situation.) Maybe we
could save the introductions for later and continue on with
the rehearsal?

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47
Q

BRAYDEN: Where do I sit?

A

KATE: Take any chair you want as long as there’s not an
actor sitting in it.

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48
Q

LONNIE: (Leaning over to HIM.) I’m playing your Pop.
(Pause.) We look alike, don’t you think?

A

KATE: Here’s your script. I happen to have it with me.
Everyone else got theirs at the first rehearsal.

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49
Q

SID: (Snapping.) Kate!

A

KATE: (Noticing the gum chewing.) Is that gum?

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50
Q

BRAYDEN: No. I’m good

A

KATE: Okay, everyone, break’s over. Let’s start up where
we left off, Act One, Scene One.

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51
Q

SID: (Interrupting.) I think we should start with a Romeo
scene. (Glancing at his script.) Act One, Scene Four.

A

KATE: Sid, Rudy was just about to–

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52
Q

SID: (Pointed.) Act One, Scene Four.

A

KATE: (Sighs.) Okay, Act One, Scene Four. Romeo,
Mercutio and Benvolio.

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53
Q

SID: Kate, where is Mr. Cole’s mark?

A

KATE: (Almost dumbfounded.) We can’t mark every place
you’ll be on the stage. You’re just going to have to
remember it all by yourself.

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54
Q

SID: Oh, shut up! (SID goes to KATE and whispers
frantically.) Kate, what do I do? What do I do?

A

KATE: (Calmly.) Move on.

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55
Q

SID: But, Brayden!

A

KATE: Let him go

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56
Q

SID: What?

A

KATE: If that’s the way he’s going to treat us, I say let him
go. Who needs him?

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57
Q

SID: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! No! NO! NO!

A

KATE: (Taking charge.) Sorry, guys, looks like we’ll have to
move along. How about starting with Act One, Scene
Three, Lady Capulet,

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58
Q

CAROL: Kate, dear, may I have a moment to process?

A

KATE: Of course

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59
Q

GIGI: I mean it this time, Kate. All measurements, from all
actors no later than Thursday. I don’t want another
Winter’s Tale debacle. Do you want another Winter’s Tale
debacle?

A

KATE: No, Gigi, I don’t want another Winter’s Tale debacle.

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60
Q

GIGI: What is it I always say? Hmmm? What?

A

KATE: No naked actors.

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61
Q

AUDREY: All right, this is definitely the last one. I looked
everywhere, even inside the dumpster behind the building

A

KATE: Thanks, Aud. (Counting lights, half-way to herself.)
Hmmmm. Four….well, that’s one more than last time.

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62
Q

AUDREY: Hi!

A

KATE: (Sarcastic.) Audrey thinks you’re cute.

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63
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh, yeah?

A

KATE: Hey, Aud, c’mon. (KATE pulls HER away from
BRAYDEN.) I think you better go home, huh?

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64
Q

AUDREY: (Offstage.) Yeah. Oh, yeah.

A

KATE: Did you need something?

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65
Q

BRAYDEN: I was hoping I could talk with Sid.

A

KATE: He’s not here.

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66
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh, he’s not?

A

KATE: No. Believe it or not, he doesn’t live here. He actually
has a home he goes to.

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67
Q

BRAYDEN: What about you? Don’t you have a home to get
to? (No response. BRAYDEN senses his charms are not
working.) You take all of this pretty seriously, huh?

A

KATE: That’s because other people don’t take it seriously
enough.

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68
Q

BRAYDEN: You don’t like me much, do you? (Again, no
response.) No, I guess you don’t. I’m wondering what
we’re going to do about that?

A

KATE: Is that the same gum from this afternoon?

69
Q

BRAYDEN: (With a big smile and charming laugh.) Yeah. BRAYDEN: (Cont’d.) You know what? This…um….this can
probably wait.

A

KATE: Okay.

70
Q

BRAYDEN: It’s about the show

A

KATE: Oh, good. I thought you weren’t happy with your
hotel suite or something.

71
Q

BRAYDEN: Is this how you treat all your actors?

A

KATE: Only the ones who walk out on rehearsal.

72
Q

BRAYDEN: I’m trying to be serious.

A

KATE: (Sincere.) Sorry.

73
Q

BRAYDEN: Look at it. (SHE does and again looks back at
HIM.) The other side.

A

KATE: (Turns the photo over and sees that there are only
two credits on his resume.) Oh. (Pause.) So. You’ve never
performed on stage before.

74
Q

BRAYDEN: (Still a little embarrassed.) No.

A

KATE: Has Sid seen this?

75
Q

BRAYDEN: Not yet. That’s what I kind of wanted to talk to
him about.

A

KATE: I wouldn’t. He’d probably burst an artery

76
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh. (Thinks.) Yeah. I guess he does seem a
little tense.

A

KATE: He thinks you’re a professional.

77
Q

BRAYDEN: I am.

A

KATE: No. I mean trained.

78
Q

BRAYDEN: (Checking his biceps and abs.) I am

A

KATE: No, I mean, how do you get to be a professional
actor and not ever have performed on stage?

79
Q

BRAYDEN: Easy. I was waiting tables. Got spotted by a
modeling agency. Next thing I know, I’m on a soap…and,
boom… (Smiling.) professional actor.

A

KATE: Just like that?

80
Q

BRAYDEN: Pretty cool, huh? Of course, when the soap
ended…

A

KATE: I thought you were killed off?

81
Q

BRAYDEN: Ummm, yeah, right. Well, as I was saying, when
that all ended, I had a little trouble getting work. (Pause.) A
lot of trouble getting work… Before I knew it, the cash was
gone, I lost my lease and, I don’t know… I guess I ended
up back where I started. Which was nowhere. So I thought
the play was a good idea. You know, I could move back in
with my folks, and do the rehearsal thing for a bit while my agent tries to find me something…and no one would ever know the difference. Plus, I figured, it was still kind of like
an acting job you know, at least until something real
comes along.

A

KATE: Something real?

82
Q

BRAYDEN: I didn’t mean it like that.

A

KATE: You really don’t get it, do you?

83
Q

BRAYDEN: No, I do. I get it. (Pause.) What don’t I get?

A

KATE: I know all of this might seem pretty small and
insignificant to you, Mr. So-Called-Hometown-Boy, but this
play means something to these people. They care about it.
And I don’t think I have to tell you how important it is to
Sid. It’s like his life’s blood. So when you storm out of here
just because things aren’t to your liking and then come
back and tell me that the whole thing doesn’t really mean
anything to you, well, that’s just about the most
unprofessional thing I’ve ever heard in my life!

84
Q

BRAYDEN: I do care about the play. I’m here, aren’t I?

A

KATE: I think you’re here because you care about yourself.

85
Q

BRAYDEN: Hey, can you cut me a break, lady? I came here
for some help. I mean, I walked out of that rehearsal today
realizing that I am in way over my head.

A

KATE: (Thoughtful for a moment.) And you thought Sid
could help?

86
Q

BRAYDEN: I did. But now, I’m kind of rethinking it.

A

KATE: What, exactly, did you think he could do for you?

87
Q

BRAYDEN: I don’t know. Coach me, I guess.

A

KATE: What, like an acting coach?

88
Q

BRAYDEN: I…huh?

A

KATE: (Translating.) He’s offering to help.

89
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh. Um…

A

KATE: Well, there you go. Problem solved

90
Q

BRAYDEN: Uh, no, not tonight. Let’s see…

A

KATE: How about on stage in the evenings. Late. The
theatre’s usually empty by 10:30. Does that work?

91
Q

BRAYDEN: (Scanning his schedule.) Ooooo, see, that might
be bad…

A

KATE: Or we could just not do it at all.

92
Q

LLOYD: (Cont’d. Upset.) I can’t take this. I’m just supposed
to be the usher!!

A

KATE: Okay. Then it’s a date. Evenings. Late. I’ll let you in
on the side and come to lock up at say…one?

93
Q

BRAYDEN: Kate. Right. Kate.

A

KATE: Oh, and, Brayden? (Pause.) Lose the gum.

94
Q

BRAYDEN: Yeah, what she said. You’re a doll, Kim.

A

KATE: (Returning to her work.) It’s Kate.

95
Q

Bird sound

A

KATE: (Taken aback by the crowd.) Well, this is quite a party you got going on in here…I thought you were
supposed to be rehearsing?

96
Q

DUNCAN: I will not be treated like this. I was Lear!!

A

KATE: Okay, now everyone, Quiet! Well, I guess this didn’t exactly work now, did it?

97
Q

BRAYDEN: Not exactly.

A

KATE: All right, then, so what are we going to do here? Huh? You’re all going to have to get along with each other
or there isn’t going to be a play.

98
Q

DUNCAN: If I may…

A

KATE: (With control.) No, you may not. Now, look, what you do on your own time is your business, but when you’re in my theatre, you’re on my time and you play by my rules.
Okay?
KATE: (Cont’d.) I do expect more from them, but under the circumstances, I’m forced to be understanding. But, you. I really expected more from you. You’re the one who wanted to do this. So, what’s the problem?

99
Q

BRAYDEN: Look, the way you busted our chops just now…if
anyone’s gonna make this work, I got a feeling it’d be you.
(KATE is hesitant.) Plus, you’re kind of scary.

A

KATE: Huh?

100
Q

BRAYDEN: Isn’t there some way you can do this?

A

KATE: Me!? No

101
Q

BRAYDEN: (Big charming smile.) Why not? You do
everything else around here.

A

KATE: Because…because

102
Q

BRAYDEN: C’mon, Kate. Don’t you care about the play?

A

KATE: Of course I do. (Thinks.) If I do this, will you take it seriously?

103
Q

BRAYDEN: Absolutely

A

KATE: (Somewhat skeptical.) I mean it, now. This is serious.
No blowing it off. No screwing around. No quitting!

104
Q

BRAYDEN: Yep.

A

KATE: And you’ll do it my way? No questions asked?

105
Q

BRAYDEN: (Cont’d.) I am being totally serious, Kate.
(Pause.) Hey, I know I’m a good actor. But I’m not that
good. (With charm.) Yet.

A

KATE: (Decisive.) Okay. I’ll help you. We’ll start right now. Go home and read your script.

106
Q

BRAYDEN: The whole thing?

A

KATE: The whole thing. Front to back. Twice.

107
Q

BRAYDEN: Um. Okay.

A

KATE: Once you’ve done that, then we can get down to the hard work.

108
Q

BRAYDEN: Thanks, Kate. You won’t regret this.

A

KATE: I already do.

109
Q

BRAYDEN: Farewell, then. Parting is such…um…sweet
stuff.

A

KATE: Well? What are you waiting for? Go home and read your scripts! Front to back! Twice.

110
Q

BRAYDEN/RUDY: (Off.) Will make us all fine actors yet!

A

KATE: Boy, he’s looks wrecked. I thought he said he was in shape.

111
Q

RUDY: He’s all yours, Kate.

A

KATE: Great. Thanks for your help, guys. Same time
tomorrow night?

112
Q

RUDY: Ya know, I could stick around, Kate, if you think you
still needed me

A

KATE: Thanks, but I think we’ll be okay

113
Q

RUDY: Oh. Okay. Sure. See ya tomorrow, then. Bye,
Brayden.

A

KATE: Okay. So you read your script? (BRAYDEN nods.)
Twice? (BRAYDEN nods.) Good. What can you tell me
about Romeo and Juliet?

114
Q

BRAYDEN: Well, it’s about this guy, Romeo, from Corona…

A

KATE: Verona.

115
Q

BRAYDEN: Uh, right. And, um, his folks are fighting with the
folks of Juliet, but he doesn’t know Juliet at this point,
because he’s all uptight about this other chick, but then he
sees her at a party and then…

A

KATE: Nope. Stop, stop, stop. You’re just telling me what’s
happened. I want to know if you know what it’s about.

116
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh. (Looks down at his script for a long time.)

A

KATE: Anything. Give me anything at all.

117
Q

BRAYDEN: Give me a sec, will you! (HE flips through his
pages while KATE stares intensely.) You’re making me
nervous! Stop looking at me!!

A

KATE: Stop looking at you?

118
Q

BRAYDEN: Yeah. Turn around or something! (KATE
complies and turns. BRAYDEN reads, thinks and then
finally answers.) Passion

A

KATE: Passion?

119
Q

BRAYDEN: (Cont’d.) No?

A

KATE: (Negating his “no.”) No

120
Q

BRAYDEN: (Misunderstanding.) No?

A

KATE: No, I mean, no. That’s good. That’s really good.

121
Q

BRAYDEN: (Thinks for a moment.) Could you turn around again, ‘cause I can’t think with you…

A

KATE: (Turning.) Oh. Sure, sure.

122
Q

BRAYDEN: Oh, good, for a minute there I thought I was way off base.

A

KATE: (Pleased.) No, you’re on. You’re definitely on base.
So, how would you relate that to your character?

123
Q

BRAYDEN: (Showing more confidence.) Well…I think
everything is really, really important to him. Kind of like my soap. You know, The Flame Within.

A

KATE: Uh. In what way?

124
Q

BRAYDEN: Connecting?

A

KATE: Yeah. Connecting with the material. Connecting with
your cast. Connecting with your audience.

125
Q

BRAYDEN: So I was right?

A

KATE: It’s not really a question of “right” or “wrong.” You
made a choice. And it connected you to the material.
That’s kind of what theatre’s all about.

126
Q

BRAYDEN: Well, it’s like all the characters on the soap, the
things they do are really, really important to them. They
want everything at a super intense level. Like a hundred
and ten percent. So if they hate something, they really
hate it, and if they love something, well, you know.
(Pause.) I think Romeo is like that.

A

KATE: (Turns back around. Impressed.) Well, I’m not sure if
Will Shakespeare would appreciate being compared to
daytime drama, but I’ll take it.

127
Q

BRAYDEN: Huh. I never thought of it that way.

A

KATE: (Triumphant.) Shall we try a little of the script?

128
Q

BRAYDEN: Yes, ma’am.

A

KATE: Okay. Romeo’s entrance…page three
KATE: (Cont’d.) You’ll need your script.

129
Q

BRAYDEN: No, I’m good.

A

KATE: Brayden. Hold your script.

130
Q

BRAYDEN: I was on a soap for eight months. If there’s one
thing I know how to do, it’s memorize lines.

A

KATE: Yes, but this is Shakespeare

131
Q

BRAYDEN: “Is the day so young?”

A

KATE: (Faster.) “But new struck nine.”

132
Q

BRAYDEN: I know that, Kate. And with all due respect, if I
can trust you with your stuff, you can trust me with mine.

A

KATE: (Looks to BRAYDEN and then to her script. Testing
him.) “Good morrow, cousin.”

133
Q

BRAYDEN: “Ay me! Sad hours seem long.”

A

KATE: (Kate looks further into the scene.) “I aim’d so near!”

134
Q

BRAYDEN: “A right good mark!”

A

KATE: (A little competitive.) “Forget to think of her.”

135
Q

BRAYDEN: “O, teach me how I should forget to think. He,
that is strucken blind, cannot forget The precious treasure
of his eyesight lost.” (BRAYDEN looks at HER, prepared
and serious.)

A

KATE: (Smiling.) Okay. Romeo’s entrance. Page three…

136
Q

RUDY: Um, so Kate? I was thinking about what you
said…about how this play has a…what do you call it…a
recurring theme about unrequited love. So I looked up
unrequited love at the library and it says the definition of
unrequited love is, like, the total adoration and respect of a
lover for a beautiful, intelligent and unattainable object
where, like, the lover welcomes his misery for it inspires
him to greatness.

A

KATE: Wow, Rudy, that is really profound.

137
Q

RUDY: So, um, do you think it’s true? That misery inspires
greatness?

A

KATE: Well, I suppose it’s possible.

138
Q

RUDY: Ya think so? I mean, like, I didn’t write it or anything,
but I’m glad you liked it.

A

KATE: I do. It’s beautiful

139
Q

SID: Let us remember that Juliet is your daughter, so no
more wandering hands, all right? All right. Kate, where did
we leave off?

A

KATE: Act Two, Scene Two

140
Q

SID: (Suddenly serious.) All right, people, let’s get back to
work. We’ve got three days until we put this thing up and
put it up we shall! From where we left off. Act Three,
Scene One! Gentlemen… (No one moves.) Act Three,
Scene One!!

A

KATE: Sid, do you realize what you just did?

141
Q

SID: What?

A

KATE: You just fired one of your actors

142
Q

SID: Yes, and…?

A

KATE: Well, I hate to be obvious, but how are you going to
do Romeo and Juliet without Mercutio?

143
Q

SID: No worries.

A

KATE: Am I speaking to the same Sidney Nelson Reilly who
freaked out about his pen not two minutes ago?

144
Q

SID: Yes. (Pause.) Your point being?

A

KATE: Well, you’re awfully calm about all this.

145
Q

SID: Actors are easily replaceable.

A

KATE: (Small laugh.) Yes, but this is Shakespeare, Sid. And we open next week.

146
Q

SID: Yes, yes, yes, I know. We open next week. (Takes a
quick glance around the room, thinks, and then, to KATE.)
You do it.

A

KATE: What? Me? No, no way!

147
Q

RUDY: Sure you are!

A

KATE: No, I’m not! Now, c’mon, there has gotta be someone else more qualified!

148
Q

AUDREY: Oh, that’s perfect! You already know the script

A

KATE: No, no, no. Now, wait, Sid. I am not an actor

149
Q

SID: Kate. Look around you. You are doing it.

A

KATE: What about Rudy?

150
Q

SID: Rudy is already playing nine parts

A

KATE: I know. Lloyd!

151
Q

ALL: He’s just supposed to be the usher!!

A

KATE: All right, now wait, I know, I got it. What if I just cut Mercutio out of the script? There are too many characters
in this play anyway!

152
Q

WAYNE: Somebody’s gotta kill me!

A

KATE: (To BRAYDEN.) Help me out here. This is a bad idea, right?

153
Q

BRAYDEN: No, I think it’s a terrific idea.

A

KATE: (Hyperventilating.) Oh, no! Oh, help! Oh, me!

154
Q

RUDY: C’mon, Kate. We’re family. And you can’t let your
family down.

A

KATE: Yes I can!!

155
Q

SID: (Shaking HER.) Kate, listen to me. Listen. What is the
stage manager’s job? To solve problems. And what we
have right now is a problem that you need to solve.

A

KATE: Sid, I can’t. I can’t! I really, really, can’t!

156
Q

SID: No, you cannot! Now I don’t want to hear another word about it. You are doing this part and that is that! Let’s go, people. We have a lot of rehearsing to do!

A

KATE: (Looks at the encouraged faces around her.) Right.
Right. Rehearsing. Lots of rehearsing. Lots and lots of rehearsing. Much rehearsing. Right. Um…Sid? Can we speak?

157
Q

SID: (A little impatient.) Well, what is it? Speak up.

A

KATE: (With growing urgency.) Sid, forgive me. But, I’m
getting a sense that you don’t fully appreciate the situation that we have here. I’ve been in that light booth for years, watching their
faces, seeing the enrichment of their souls as only a
Sidney Nelson Reilly production can do! The power of this event
could potentially change these people’s lives and I can’t handle that kind of personal responsibility!!

158
Q

GIGI: (Impatient.) Please. Actress! Stand still, won’t you?

A

KATE: I think I have a hive. Audrey, do I have a hive? I think
I have a hive. Do I? Do I have a hive? (SHE shows her neck to AUDREY.)

159
Q

AUDREY: (Trying to be kind.) Um…well…

A

AUDREY: (Trying to be kind.) Um…well…

160
Q

CAROL: (To KATE.) Kate, dear. Now, I know exactly what
you’re going through and I have a very simple solution.
(Pause.) You just have to process.

A

KATE: (Quietly.) Go away

161
Q

RUDY: Yeah, it’s not the end of the world, Kate.

A

KATE: Yes it is. Leprosy is the first sign of the apocalypse!

162
Q

RUDY: Hey, Kate, you know what helps me when I’m
nervous? I think about my tongue. You know, how big and
weird and flat it is. And when you’re all like, wow, this big,
weird, flat thing is actually in my mouth, you completely
forget that you’re nervous.

A

KATE: (Pause.) That really just doesn’t help me at all.

163
Q

WAYNE: (Strained.) Oh, sure.

A

KATE: (Popping up.) Oh, no, Rudy! The lights! What about the lights!

164
Q

RUDY: It’s no problem, Kate. Sid said he would leave them
up the entire show. So you don’t have to worry about it!

A

KATE: (Whimpering.) Oh. Oh, good. Good.

165
Q

BRAYDEN: I don’t get it. You run this place. You do the
work of, like, five people. You know everything about this
show backwards and forwards. I’d think you’d be the last
person in the world to get stage fright.

A

KATE: (Lying down on the ground.) No, see, no, no. No! It’s
not stage fright. I’m ill. I’m very, very ill. In fact, I think I may need medical attention. Nurse! Nurse!

166
Q

BRAYDEN: “Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, Too rude,
to boist’rous; and it pricks like a thorn!”

A

KATE: Wha?

167
Q

BRAYDEN: (Pause. BRAYDEN gets an idea.) “Oh,
gentlemen, my very friend has got his mortal hurt; Brave
Mercutio is dead!”

A

KATE: (Weak.) Very funny.

168
Q

BRAYDEN: (To VI.) I think I better handle this. (To KATE.)
C’mon, Kate, you’re not sick.

A

KATE: (Coughs weakly.) Yes, yes, I am.

169
Q

BRAYDEN: Make a choice, Kate. That’s what theatre’s all
about. (Intensely serious.) “Is love a tender thing? It is too
rough, Too rude, to boist’rous; and it pricks like a thorn!”
(Then, intensely.) “Is love a tender thing?! It is too rough!
Too rude! to boist’rous! And it pricks like a thorn!!”

A

KATE: (Blinks and then snaps into “Mercutio.”) “If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for the
pricking and you beat love down.”