k Flashcards
LLOYD: (Answering.) Hazleton Playhouse… Yes, auditions are going on right now. If you’re interested, I suggest you… Well, we have an awful lot of Juliets already, so you might wanna… Yes, Juliet does get to kiss Romeo… Quite a few times, yes… No, Mr. Cole won’t be at the audition. The director of the production will be reading with you… (Click.)…Hello? Hello?
KATE: All right, so we’ve seen Kim as Juliet and Lisa as
Juliet, Vera, Susan, Tami, Juliet, Juliet, Juliet… okay. (She
calls out off stage.) Bernie Kling. Bernie?
BERNIE: (Entering.) Yeah.
KATE: Bernie, you’re next but I can’t read your writing. What
part are you reading for?
BERNIE: Juliet
KATE: (Takes a beat – thinks to herself.) It’ll be tough. But I think I can make it work.
PAMELA: Miss Ellinger…things seem to be going swimmingly, what what?
KATE: Oh, yes, swimmingly, Pamela. Swimmingly
PAMELA: Problem?
KATE: Hmmm…let’s see, the phone’s ringing off the hook,
I’ve got a lobby full of pushy, angry Juliets, and Sid’s
having his tenth nervous breakdown, even as we speak.
So, nope. No problems here.
PAMELA: Well, good news that. I don’t think Hazelton’s ever seen such excitement. It does appear to be thrilling, doesn’t it? A real celebrity in our own hometown. (KATE stares blankly at HER.) Mr. Cole. (No response.) He was on television, yes?
KATE: (Slightly annoyed.) Oh, right. On a soap opera.
(Pause.) For eight months
PAMELA: Yes! That’s right! It’s all here in the paper. (Reading.) “Mr. Cole, having left the daytime drama The Flame Within late last year, had the desire to return to the roots of artistic integrity by joining our local theatre’s production of Romeo and Juliet ‘I see no better way to share my talents than with the people of my own hometown,’ he was quoted as saying.”
KATE: Hometown?
AUDREY: Hey, Katie! Double shot. Extra caffeine.
KATE: Audrey! You are a mind reader
AUDREY: So, this is exciting, huh, K! Isn’t this exciting?
KATE: (With little enthusiasm.) Oh, yeah, exciting. Hey,
where’s this guy come off saying he’s from Hazelton?
AUDREY: He is. Sorta. Well, I mean, his parents moved
here…a couple of months ago. Don’t you read the papers?
(Swooning over her paper.) Oh, and he is just soooooooo
cute! Don’t you think he’s cute?
KATE: Only in an obvious kind of way
AUDREY: Katie, sometimes you’re such a dud.
KATE: (A little impatient.) So, Aud, what’re you doing here?
AUDREY: I came to audition.
KATE: You did? (Small laugh but catching herself.) You did.
AUDREY: Yeah. What’s wrong with that?
KATE: Aud, you know I love you, but, seriously…you can’t
even order take-out without getting tongue-tied. (Off
Audrey’s pained expression.) You know, you’re right.
You’re right. You should audition. What role are you
interested in?
AUDREY: Juliet.
KATE: Oh, jeez. Do me a favor, Aud. Read for something
else. Anything else. Please?
AUDREY: That’s the only good part.
KATE: You don’t understand. Every single person who’s
come in today has insisted on reading for Juliet I don’t
think Sid can take it anymore. He’s close to a breakdown.
Be a pal, Aud, huh? Help me out. Read someone else.
AUDREY: (Disappointed.) Like who?
KATE: How ‘bout the Nurse?
AUDREY: But Juliet’s the only one who gets to kiss Romeo.
KATE: How ‘bout…how ‘bout Tybalt?
AUDREY: That’s a boy’s part!
KATE: Well, here, take a script. Look through it. And pick something… anything but Juliet. Please? Please?
AUDREY: (Trying to be a good sport.) Okay…if you promise
I’ll still be considered for Juliet.
KATE: Cross my heart. Thank you Audrey, you are the best…..
KATE: (Cont’d.) Hi, Sid, are you ready for the next actor?
SID: (Flipping out.) NO! No more actors! No more actors!
KATE: (Trying to calm HIM.) No, no, Sid, look, this is my
friend. Audrey Russell. You remember Audrey. (SID
mumbles incoherently.) Audrey’s going to be auditioning
for you today… (SID shrieks.) No, no, Sid. No…she’s…
she’s going to be reading for the part of…
You know, Kate, I never thought I’d say this, but
Brayden Cole just might be the best thing that’s ever
happened to me. Not that I ever watched that show he
was on…what was it? (KATE shrugs.) I really should find
that out. But, that’s neither here nor there. What is…is that
this is the most thrilling thing that has happened to me
since I made my directorial debut here six seasons ago
with Midsummer. Did I ever tell you?…
Who knows, with an actor the caliber of
Brayden Cole, there’s no telling how far my career will go…
This could very well be my big break. (No
response from KATE.) You don’t seem very excited for
me.
KATE: (Finally stopping for a minute.) Oh, I’m sorry, Sid. I
am. I’m really excited for you
SID: It is exciting, isn’t it? Sidney Nelson Reilly directs
Brayden Cole in William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
… Won’t that look marvelous on a marquee?
KATE: Yes, if we had one.
SID: No. No reason at all! Nothing to worry about then.
(Under his breath, to KATE.) And when he gets here, be
nice.
KATE: (Insulted.) What’s that supposed to mean?
SID: Nothing, Pamela, nothing. (Taking KATE aside.) Now,
Katie, don’t take this personally. It’s just that Brayden Cole
is a very big star and you can be a little…serious.
KATE: Oh, come on, Sid! Don’t tell me you’ve got a thing for
this guy, too!
PAMELA: You best not wait any longer, Sid. The natives
seem to be getting restless.
KATE: Tell you what. We’ll get everyone settled and then I’ll
make a call.
SID: Well, I’ll just have to play that part as well. So, there is
your cast. Almost. And I really would like to get a reading
in today… Kate?
KATE: I’ll go make a quick call.
Rudy: You’re welcome?
KATE: (Quietly to SID.) No answer
SID: Oh, I don’t know. No Romeo.
KATE: I can read it for now.
RUDY: So, I thought it went well, ya know. Really, really
well. Do you think it went well, Kate?
KATE: It’s only the second rehearsal, Rudy. No one expects
you to be perfect by the second rehearsal.
RUDY: Oh, yeah. Ya think so?
KATE: Sure.
AUDREY: There are spiders in there!! You make me go to
the basement knowing that there are spiders in there and
you don’t tell me!!! That is so unfair!
KATE: Hey, you wanted to be an actor.
AUDREY: (Growing angry.) Oh, and that’s another thing!
Were you even listening at rehearsal yesterday? I only
have two lines. Two lines!
KATE: Now, Audrey, you know what they say. There all no
small parts, only…parts with very little to say.
AUDREY: Yeah? Well, maybe I just won’t say anything at
all.
KATE: Whoa, Audrey…
SID: (Looking at the props with great concern.) What’s this?
KATE: Swords. (Pause.) For the duel.
SID: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want any more
snooty letters from the PTA. No weapons.
KATE: Uh, well, how do you propose to do the fight scenes,
then…with no weapons?
SID: I have a very interesting concept… (Pause for effect.)
Tai Chi.
KATE: Excuse me?
SID: I thought of possibly doing it as interpretive dance, but
that’s really overdone, don’t you think?
KATE: (Coaxing AUDREY.) C’mon, Aud…Brayden Cole,
stretching and flexing…you can’t miss out on that, can
you?
JASON: You nimrod! Romeo is the lead! And the lead
always goes to the best actor. That’s me.
KATE: (Above the noise.) Hey, everyone, it’s now 12:07.
Time we start!
SID: (Nervous.) Kate…we’re missing…you know who
KATE: Sid, it’s 12:07. (Checks her watch.) 12:08! We gotta
start.
SID: Well, we can’t have that, can we? (At a total loss.)
Kate?
KATE: What do you want me to do, Sid?
RUDY: Uh, where’re you going, Kate?
KATE: To find Romeo.
BRAYDEN: To who?
KATE: (Humorless.) You’re late.
BRAYDEN: It’s 12:20.
KATE: And we start at 12. So you’re late.
SID: And what’s twenty minutes?
KATE: More like twenty-four hours and twenty minutes. Or
are we not even going to mention yesterday?
SID: Perfectly understandable.
KATE: (To SID.) What are you talking about? That’s the
worst excuse…
BRAYDEN: Oh, yeah, I can understand.
KATE: (Trying to gain control of the situation.) Maybe we
could save the introductions for later and continue on with
the rehearsal?
BRAYDEN: Where do I sit?
KATE: Take any chair you want as long as there’s not an
actor sitting in it.
LONNIE: (Leaning over to HIM.) I’m playing your Pop.
(Pause.) We look alike, don’t you think?
KATE: Here’s your script. I happen to have it with me.
Everyone else got theirs at the first rehearsal.
SID: (Snapping.) Kate!
KATE: (Noticing the gum chewing.) Is that gum?
BRAYDEN: No. I’m good
KATE: Okay, everyone, break’s over. Let’s start up where
we left off, Act One, Scene One.
SID: (Interrupting.) I think we should start with a Romeo
scene. (Glancing at his script.) Act One, Scene Four.
KATE: Sid, Rudy was just about to–
SID: (Pointed.) Act One, Scene Four.
KATE: (Sighs.) Okay, Act One, Scene Four. Romeo,
Mercutio and Benvolio.
SID: Kate, where is Mr. Cole’s mark?
KATE: (Almost dumbfounded.) We can’t mark every place
you’ll be on the stage. You’re just going to have to
remember it all by yourself.
SID: Oh, shut up! (SID goes to KATE and whispers
frantically.) Kate, what do I do? What do I do?
KATE: (Calmly.) Move on.
SID: But, Brayden!
KATE: Let him go
SID: What?
KATE: If that’s the way he’s going to treat us, I say let him
go. Who needs him?
SID: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! No! NO! NO!
KATE: (Taking charge.) Sorry, guys, looks like we’ll have to
move along. How about starting with Act One, Scene
Three, Lady Capulet,
CAROL: Kate, dear, may I have a moment to process?
KATE: Of course
GIGI: I mean it this time, Kate. All measurements, from all
actors no later than Thursday. I don’t want another
Winter’s Tale debacle. Do you want another Winter’s Tale
debacle?
KATE: No, Gigi, I don’t want another Winter’s Tale debacle.
GIGI: What is it I always say? Hmmm? What?
KATE: No naked actors.
AUDREY: All right, this is definitely the last one. I looked
everywhere, even inside the dumpster behind the building
KATE: Thanks, Aud. (Counting lights, half-way to herself.)
Hmmmm. Four….well, that’s one more than last time.
AUDREY: Hi!
KATE: (Sarcastic.) Audrey thinks you’re cute.
BRAYDEN: Oh, yeah?
KATE: Hey, Aud, c’mon. (KATE pulls HER away from
BRAYDEN.) I think you better go home, huh?
AUDREY: (Offstage.) Yeah. Oh, yeah.
KATE: Did you need something?
BRAYDEN: I was hoping I could talk with Sid.
KATE: He’s not here.
BRAYDEN: Oh, he’s not?
KATE: No. Believe it or not, he doesn’t live here. He actually
has a home he goes to.
BRAYDEN: What about you? Don’t you have a home to get
to? (No response. BRAYDEN senses his charms are not
working.) You take all of this pretty seriously, huh?
KATE: That’s because other people don’t take it seriously
enough.