Jokes Flashcards
You’re lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut
Mean
I been running all over hell’s half acre
Busy
He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow
vanity
Tighter than a flea’s ass over a rain barrel
Cheap
He’s tighter than a bull’s ass at fly time
Cheap
Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash
poor
He’s about as confused as a fart in a fan factory
confused
He’s about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule
unless
Quit goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow
confused
He’s as windy as a sack full of farts
lying
If that boy had an idea, it would die of loneliness
stupid
He’s only got one oar in the water
stupid
There’s a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ
stupid
You don’t know dip sh** from apple butter!
dumb
We’re off like a herd of turtles
slow
He looks like ten miles of bad road.
ugly
You look like the north end of a south-bound goat
dad
Kiss my go-to-hell
dad
I wouldn’t walk across the street to piss on him if he was on fire
Bob King
What’s the difference between a fiancée and a wife?
About 50 lbs
Woman is a complete opposite of a dog
A dog understands everything but can’t say anything
Too old to, too young to, some fun too
dad
What is the definition of safe sex down at Alabama?
Placing signs on the animals that kick
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!”
I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?
Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway
