Jokes

Question 1

You’re lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut

Answer 1

Mean

Question 2

I been running all over hell’s half acre

Answer 2

Busy

Question 3

He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow

Answer 3

vanity

Question 4

Tighter than a flea’s ass over a rain barrel

Answer 4

Cheap

Question 5

He’s tighter than a bull’s ass at fly time

Answer 5

Cheap

Question 6

Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash

Answer 6

poor

Question 7

He’s about as confused as a fart in a fan factory

Answer 7

confused

Question 8

He’s about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule

Answer 8

unless

Question 9

Quit goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow

Answer 9

confused

Question 10

He’s as windy as a sack full of farts

Answer 10

lying

Question 11

If that boy had an idea, it would die of loneliness

Answer 11

stupid

Question 12

He’s only got one oar in the water

Answer 12

stupid

Question 13

There’s a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ

Answer 13

stupid

Question 14

You don’t know dip sh** from apple butter!

Answer 14

dumb

Question 15

We’re off like a herd of turtles

Answer 15

slow

Question 16

He looks like ten miles of bad road.

Answer 16

ugly

Question 17

You look like the north end of a south-bound goat

Answer 17

dad

Question 18

Kiss my go-to-hell

Answer 18

dad

Question 19

I wouldn’t walk across the street to piss on him if he was on fire

Answer 19

Bob King

Question 20

What’s the difference between a fiancée and a wife?

Answer 20

About 50 lbs

Question 21

Woman is a complete opposite of a dog

Answer 21

A dog understands everything but can’t say anything

Question 22

Too old to, too young to, some fun too

Answer 22

dad

Question 23

What is the definition of safe sex down at Alabama?

Answer 23

Placing signs on the animals that kick

Question 24

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!”

Answer 24

I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

Question 25

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Answer 25

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway