Jokes

Question 0

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog.

Answer 0

It was a shitzu.

Question 1

What’s the raddest aircraft?

Answer 1

A hella-copter

Question 2

The curtains are drawn in my living room,

Answer 2

but the rest of the furniture is real.

Question 6

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Answer 6

He was outstanding in his field.

Question 7

What do you call a broken can opener?

Answer 7

A can’t opener.

Question 8

Ehen corals get stressed they die. You know what they stress out about?

Answer 8

Current events.

Question 9

Do you know what color the wind is?

Answer 9

Blew.

Question 10

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

Answer 10

A rip off.

Question 11

Klepto

Answer 11

Literally

Question 12

A blind man walks into a bar,

Answer 12

and a table, and a chair.

Question 13

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Answer 13

Everywhere.

Question 14

You gotta hand it

Answer 14

to blind prostitutes.

Question 15

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac

Answer 15

stays awake at night wondering if there’s a doG.

Question 16

Girls, odd numbered groups

Answer 16

They can’t even

Question 17

Crows, Dying, trucks

Answer 17

They could only say “kah”

Question 18

I’ll never get the tent up

Answer 18

Too many mistakes

Question 19

The highest form of flattery is not immitation.

Answer 19

It’s a plateau.

Question 20

What happened when the cow tried to jump over the barbed wire fence?

Answer 20

Udder destruction

Question 21

Know why Ireland is so wealthy?

Answer 21

It’s capital is Dublin.

Question 22

I’ve been working onthis joke for 14 days

Answer 22

But its punchline is too weak

Question 23

I don’t need a spine.

Answer 23

It’s holding me back

Question 24

Taylor

Answer 24

Sew-sew

Question 25

Butcher

Answer 25

Make the cut

Question 26

I’ve been to the dentist

Answer 26

Know the drill

Question 27

Once you’ve seen one shopping center

Answer 27

You’ve seen a mall

Question 28

The coffee tastes like mud

Answer 28

It was ground a few minutes ago

Question 29

I’m not a big fan of archery

Answer 29

Too many drawbacks

Question 30

Post office sexist

Answer 30

Wouldn’t letter. They only hire mails

Question 31

Fired from hot dog stand

Answer 31

Put her hair in a bun

Question 32

Someone dug a hole and filled it with water

Answer 32

He meant well

Question 33

Tree fingers grow

Answer 33

Palm tree

Question 34

Hit by a can of soda

Answer 34

Lucky it was a soft drink

Question 35

Dr.Tyson’s Fav: Where are the assteroids?

Answer 35

Behind Uranus

Question 36

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

Answer 36

Tenticles.

Question 37

So I find this humorous,

Answer 37

but it’s not attatched to any other bones.

Question 38

I used to be a train driver, but

Answer 38

then I got sidetracked.

Question 39

What do you get when you cross a jew?

Answer 39

Christianity

Question 40

What did Buddha say to the hotdog vendor?

Answer 40

Make me one with everything.