Jokes

Question 1

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?

Answer 1

The space bar

Question 2

How does a hamburger introduce his wife?

Answer 2

Meat patty

Question 3

Why doesn’t a spider go to school?

Answer 3

He learned everything on the web

Question 4

Why does a cow have hooves and not feet?

Answer 4

Because they lactose

Question 5

What is a balloons least favorite type of music?

Answer 5

Pop music

Question 6

What happened to the elderly egg?

Answer 6

They sent him to the old yokes home

Question 7

What do you get when you mix leather with a sneeze?

Answer 7

A shoe

Question 8

A police officer caught two kids playing with fireworks and a car battery?

Answer 8

He charged one and let the other one off

Question 9

What do you call an American bee?

Answer 9

A usb

Question 10

10 and 100 are basically the same #

Answer 10

Since their difference is zero

Question 11

How much did Santa have to pay to park his sled?

Answer 11

Nothing because it’s on the house

Question 12

What do you call the people that take care of hens?

Answer 12

Chicken tenders

Question 13

When I get into work, I immediately hide.

Answer 13

Good employees are hard to find

Question 14

Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I’m going jogging but then don’t go.

Answer 14

It’s a running joke

Question 15

I don’t tell dad jokes

Answer 15

He never laughs at them

Question 16

What did 50 cent do when he got hungry?

Answer 16

58

Question 17

I just spent $100 on a belt that doesn’t fit.

Answer 17

Huge waist

Question 18

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

Answer 18

Between you and me, something smells.

Question 19

Just saw a guy standing on one leg at the atm.

Answer 19

He must have been checking his balance

Question 20

Which laptop plays the best songs?

Answer 20

A Dell

Question 21

I hate gossipers.

Answer 21

They discuss me

Question 22

I would love to tell you a joke about unemployed people.

Answer 22

Sadly, none of them work

Question 23

England doesn’t have a kidney bank

Answer 23

But it does have a Liverpool

Question 24

A man in my town has been stealing the wheels off cop cars.

Answer 24

The police have been working tirelessly to catch him

Question 25

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Answer 25

Then it’s a soap opera

Question 26

How do you make holy water?

Answer 26

You boil the hell out of it