Jokes 101 Flashcards
Stammering or not knowing a language
Language sounds like someone with a brain disability
Saying “no”
Uhmm… well, that will be a resounding no 🚨
Unknown story build up
I don’t really have a Segway for this (a proper story leading up to)
Loser-ish appearance
Looks like chat gpt’s answer to:…(show me a virgin).
Unsexy in relation to someone else
A less f-able reimagining of:…(Someone’s name) 😂
Where do you get life advice?
Took advice from an online guru… Because life can get that low 😬
In a yango (cab, taxi, being driven around)
Try to get more value out of your yango by making them your therapist 👨🏽⚕️
Watching old p*rn or watching gilfs
Dead pornstars? Ain’t finna be a ghostbuster 👻💦
On holiday break from school
Out on probation (when the kids are on holiday)🕴🏽
We’re not all going to be doing this
Just suffer in solidarity with us 🚭
Do you have common sense?
Your intelligence is my common sense 🧠
You’re (body stigmatization) eg: fat, slim, short….etc
I’ve already accepted that years ago (comeback to something visibly evident) 😹
Ordering yango for someone
Turned into the minister of transportation 🚖
This is boring
Hideously boring
Superfluous (unnecessary) honesty
Out here picking the worst time to be honest 🫣
About to do something
Prepare to lower your expectations🪫
Slightly weird search on somebody else’s browser
Let’s get that in your search history 🔍🔞
Is it weird that I do so and so or…?
Leaving a rhetorical question on a “whether it’s crazy or not” question standing, auto makes it yes 💀
Sarcastic appreciation
I like that for you😸
Passing through
Sesheni ifi pupa npiteko🫡
Shots missed
Failed his whole generation♌
Can you do this and this? Or make me this thing
I can tell you this, creating a quantum computer much easier🙃
Turn off
The most unsexiest sentence said thus far😐
Nicely sounding,
First of all that would make a good name for a restaurant🤫 second (proceed to answer whatever the question is)
Someone gives their opinion:
I like that but where are you coming from with this?🧐
Not celebrating when they should be
Get up when the spirit moves you stand up! laugh, clap, smile, dance…🥸
Everything wrong with the word
War, disease, death, distruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption 😶🌫️
Reviews, comments, criticism… etc
A bigger wake up call than any intervention can ever hope to be🙂↕️
to be tripping on spirits😵💫
I’m yaked!
Repeating the same word during speech
A verbal leach I can’t get rid of🗣️
How often do you go to church,
Going for class,
Going to the club,
I don’t have a specific place we gather every week to compare clothing 👑
What’s your religion
Catholic; was what I was, until I reached the age of reason 😅
Ugly
A severe appearance deficit 😵
Weddings
Weddings are a scam where you spend money to put up a pop-up restaurant for 200 people you barely know 😅
Walking in or the deal has gone through
Was it luck, was it fate or was it my amazing good looks😎
I’m asking for a rubber 💀
No, I mean the rubber that actually erases mistakes and not the one that makes them😅😵
Being clueless
Or why do yango drivers ask for the location?
Being as clueless as a yango driver with the gps coordinates to your location 😅
Girl: I like a guy that does so and so
Girls just be out here inventing the guy they want to cheat on 👷🏼♀️
Multitasking:
I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.😅
Girls with or without exp?
You want a formula 1 driver that’s an expert in your stick shift 🎮
You’re making excuses
Not an excuse… It’s just what happened 😅
Situation segregation:
hiding from food shame😅
Situation at least:
“yeah cause that’s what I really wanted” 😅
Situation praise: negative
“if losing was what you were aiming for” 📉
You’re so childish
I’m Not childish; childhood trauma maybe, but not childish
Preference
Different strokes for different folks
looking for something
Peak at the coochie, see what flaps they got 😅
Did it with an ego
I was horny and didn’t have enough blood flow in my brain to roast her stupid ass🩸
So dumb
Has never started a sentence with Therefore😅
Hey look what I can do?
It’s a Skill set put it on your CV 👍🏾📜
Its nothing personal
Well personally speaking from my own personal experience personally I feel that was a little too personal 🧠
Situation argument gone on for too long:
argument domino forgot what the argument was all about 🧠
Eye roll
Role your eyes any harder you gonna look possessed😅
Expectations for the first date
My expectations fall In between a one night stand and marriage with three kids
You lack, passion ambition motivation soul
The ambition and motivation ended the moment I stopped being sperm
Face is too friendly
Everyone that sees me is like you wanna talk can I be a part of your day 😅
Someone gives an out of pocket analogy
Not the perfect analogy, but I feel it’s decent
New love moving too fast
Every flame that starts quickly dies quickly 🧠
Beautiful
As an atheist I can safely say that, that is indeed God’s work😸
Beautiful
As an atheist I can safely say that, that is indeed God’s work😸
Have some patience
I’m impatient and impulsive does that work😸
Skinny girl walking away
Like two hard boiled eggs doing the salsa😵
What is retirement?
Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for an imagined tomorrow
Truth or persuasion?
There is a difference between what is the truth and what can be said in a persuasive way 🧠
Not engaged
Does not want any part of it 😅
Burn
That’s a middle finger shots fired! 🖕🏼
Procrastinating
such a procrastinator that you were 5 years old before you finished your first sentence, and even then it was “I’ll do it tomorrow…” 😅
Any mathematically inclined conversation
No public math please, I just can’t function mathematically 😸
Shaping your life
Life is about picking the thing you want and bending reality to make that thing happen… 🧠
Do you go to church?
I go to church every Sunday well… every other Sunday… I’ve been to church okay 👀😸
Is this even legal?
It’s Within the letter of the law, but not the spirit of the law😸
Have you ever done it and how many times? (first base king)
A have a pretty good batting average but not a lot of home runs.
Or
A pretty good shot on goal average but not a lot of goals
Quality over quantity
well… my quantity is quality😸
When you see a dog that seems to be following you
Not exactly the bitches I was looking for, but it works
When a short guy stands up?
It’s funny how when he stood up he was still the same height 😵
When you see a bonnet
If I was a bonnet would you give me head 😅
Something that’s an Eye sore
Out here looking like the abortion that lived 😵
To my queen
You’re My queen and my face is your throne 😸
Don’t drink and drive
Then what’s the cupholder for? 😅
Am I a funny guy?
People find me funny especially when I’m paying or giving them money 😅
One too many prangs in one day
English hall pass has been revoked.
Devaluing someone
Giving off Ex type of energy
School, and being broke
Uni is 98% being broke and 2% ticking timer to being broke again 😅
She’s a 10, but she’s smart?
How am I supposed to slowly tear down her self esteem to the point she thinks I’m the best she can do if she’s smart?😅
