John

Question 1

Sandy: that’s a good question.

Answer 1

(Enters) Hi, Sandy. I, uh, couldn’t help but notice Ken in the parking lot. He’s, uh, sick. Know what I mean?

Question 2

Sandy: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Answer 2

I put him in the back seat of your car. He’s sleeping it off.

Question 3

Sandy: You got a couple of minutes?

Answer 3

(Looks at watch) Sure

Question 4

Sandy: So I’ll get your flowers, and we’ll be ready to go.

Answer 4

I hope you don’t mind getting married by Elvis. I’ve hit a wedding at 11 that requested the King.

Question 5

Bev: Stan! We love Elvis! This is perfect.

Answer 5

Good. Good. Because some people feel like it trivializes the service, you know? But I always say, hey, if you’re sincere, and you’re in love, it doesn’t matter who marries you, right?

Question 6

Bev: Right. Do you enjoy marrying people?

Answer 6

Oh, yeah, it’s a great gig, but…

Question 7

Bev: But what?

Answer 7

After marrying all these people, I kind of feel like it’s my turn, you know, to meet a wonderful girl and fall in love. (Sings) “One night with you…is what I’m praying for…The things that we two could plan…would make my dreams come true…”

Question 8

Bev: Oh, that’s beautiful. The song and the wish. I can’t believe you don’t meet a lot of girls in this town.

Answer 8

Oh, sure I do. But not the right kind of girls, you know. Hell, half the time, I’m not even sure they’re women.

Question 9

Bev: I don’t think we have any of those in Virginia. We’re from Roanoke.

Answer 9

Oh, nice. You’re just here to get married?

Question 10

Bev: Yes. Marrying the man I love!

Answer 10

Well, congratulations. You’re a VERY lucky man. She seems like a wonderful woman.

Question 11

Sandy: yes, we are. Elvis, take it away.

Answer 11

(I’m Elvis voice) Ladies and gentlemen, love from Las Vegas, it’s show time! Welcome
To the wedding of two very special kids in love, uh—

Question 12

Sandy: Stan and Bev

Answer 12

Stan and Bev. Stan, bring that little lady on up here so we can celebrate your special day—and your special Union—Elvis style!
(Sings) “Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can’t help…”

(Snaps out of it)

Now, Stan and Bev, you’re all shook up in your love for one another. That’s why we’re here today. I know you’ve both spent some time in Heartbreak Hotel, we all have, but today, and every day forward, you’re going to love each other tender, love each other sweet. Now, I’d like you to turn and face one another and look into each others eyes as you hold hands. Bev, will you have Stan to be your husband? Will you love him and comfort him, honor and keep him, forsaking all others, forever be his hunk—a—hunk—a—burning—love?

Question 13

Bev: I will

Answer 13

Stan, will you have Bev to be your wife? Will you love and comfort her—(he’s interrupted by Stan’s phone ringing)
Honor and keep her, forsaking all others, forever be her hunk—a—hunk—a—burning—love?

Question 14

Bev: We’re getting married, Stan!

Answer 14

I gotta agree with the little lady. If you answer that—(Sings) “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog…”

Question 15

Bev: Gice me the phone. Give me that phone! Give it to me!!!

Answer 15

The river of love runs a mighty crooked course.

Question 16

Bev: Come on, Elvis, it’s now or never!

Answer 16

(Sings) “It’s now or never, come hold me tight…”

Question 17

Bev: What are you doing?!?

Answer 17

I thought you want me to sing, darlin’.

Question 18

Stan: I’m coming home, baby! I’m taking the first plane! I love you, I love you, I love you!

Answer 18

Stan, don’t be cruel.

Question 19

Sandy: This isn’t what I wished for. Not like this.

Answer 19

I know things look pretty bleak, little lady, but you know what Elvis always says? When things go wrong, don’t go with them.”

Question 20

Bev: Elvis, so you mind if I talk to John?

Answer 20

(As John) I’m here.

Question 21

Bev: What am I supposed to do now?

Answer 21

I guess you feel bad for awhile, until you don’t feel bad any more, and then you hope to meet someone new.

Question 22

Bev: How long will that take?

Answer 22

The feeling bad part? I don’t know. But you meet new people all the time. Hi, I’m John.

Question 23

Sandy: Oh, well. The real question is: where are our guests?

Answer 23

(John and Bev enter)

Question 24

Sandy: Ah

Answer 24

(Subdued) Hey, Sandy. Sorry we’re late.

Question 25

Sandy: I was starting to get worried.

Answer 25

Yeah, we should have been here a half hour ago.

Question 26

Sandy: I know, but still, you two must think I’m crazy.

Answer 26

(Still downbeat) We think you’re great. After all, if it wasn’t for you, we would have never met and fallen in love. And I never would have…proposed.

Question 27

Sandy: I knew it! I knew it was going to happen. Congratulations! I is it in marrying you in my chapel.

Answer 27

Well, she hasn’t answered me yet.

Question 28

Bev: John.

Answer 28

Well, it has been a week. I mean, after a week, don’t you think a guy had a right to an answer?

Question 29

Bev: Yes, please!

Answer 29

(To Bev) I don’t know how else to get you to do talk to me.
(To Sandy) I don’t know how else to get her to talk to me.

Question 30

Bev: Hello. Nice to meet you.

Answer 30

(Still sulking) yeah, hi.

Question 31

Fist: Don’t Marvin seem on edge?

Answer 31

Well, of course he’s on edge! You’ve been living in his house for three months.

Question 32

Marvin: and twelve days and seventeen hours.

Answer 32

I’m surprised he’s not standing on a ledge. The mad would line his privacy—and his wife—back! It’s not that hard to figure out.

Question 33

Fist: And who are you?

Answer 33

One VERY aggravated guy. I wouldn’t mess with me right now if I were you.

Question 34

Fist: Oh, yeah, tough guy, huh?

Answer 34

Yeah, you want a piece of me? Come on, Finger, Hand, whatever your name is!

Question 35

Fist: It’s Fist, and I’d be glad to introduce ya to it.

Answer 35

(They start to circle and push one another) Come on over and get a piece of this, Marvin, you know you can any to!

Question 36

Sandy: What’s the matter with you people? ! This is my wedding day, and it’s supposed to be special! Even if it is the fifth one!!!

Answer 36

Sorry, Sandy. (Looks at Bev) I’m just a little stressed.

Question 37

Vanessa: And we’ll just have a seat until you’re done.

Answer 37

(Approaching them) I believe the lady asked you to leave.

Question 38

Vanessa: Would you shut up?! These people are obviously unstable.

Answer 38

(Standing) I asked Bev to marry me. And it was really romantic. We had dinner at the Bellagio. Best hotel in the city, best table in the room. I even had a couple of violinists come over. And o ER a flaming Baked Alaskan, I pulled out my grandmothers ring and asked her to be my wife. And she said, “Can I think about it?”

Question 39

Fist: Shit!

Answer 39

John: Thank you, Finger Hand!

Question 40

Bev: Nothing would make me happier than to be your wife.

Answer 40

Are you saying you want to marry me?

Question 41

Bev: The question is, do you want to marry me.

Answer 41

Well, I asked you, didn’t I?

Question 42

Bev: And I can’t go through that again. Not with you.

Answer 42

Is that what this is all about? Bev, I’ve waited a lot of year to find the right woman. And now, I’ve found her. And she’s you. And yes, I am really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sure.

Question 43

Bev: In that case, yes!

Answer 43

It’s official!

Question 44

Sandy: iIt just seemed so natural to ask him. (John enters) Well?

Answer 44

Sorry, Sandy. Ken’s sick. You know what I mean?

Question 45

Sandy: Feel like performing a wedding?

Answer 45

I would be honored to. (They take their places) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man’s and this woman—

Question 46

Sandy: Why don’t we get married by Elvis?

Answer 46

I don’t have my costume.

Question 47

Lou: I love it! Marry us, Elvis!

Answer 47

Well, all right. I’m never one to turn down a gig as the King! Her we go! (Becoming Elvis) Ladies and gentlemen, love from Las Vegas, it’s showtime! Welcome to the wedding of two very special kids in love: Sandy and Lou. We’re going to celebrate your special day and your special Union—Elvis style!