Jealousy Flashcards
To equip people with the tools to understand their jealousy and not take it out on their partners.
What should you do if you feel jealous?
Talk to a reliable friend outside of the situation. —Rosberg, Gary and Barbara & Sweet, Nava
What are warning signs for unhealthy jealousy?
- Feeling like you must make someone feel bad in order to make yourself feel better,
- Trying to control someone else,
- Threatening someone you are jealous of There are never OK These are also signs of an unhealthy relationship.
—Hunter, Amy
Does healthy jealousy exist?
Yes. Jealousy, at its most basic level, promotes survival for children and fidelity in adults. —Hunter, Amy
What does healthy jealousy look like?
- Feelings of inadequacy/ low self-esteem.
- Anger at object of jealousy - should be capable of keeping their anger under control.
- “Stiff upper lip”
- Encouragement to work harder/ improve in some way.
- Possible incentive to be more attentive to ensure that partner is not attracted to someone else.
—Hunter, Amy
What does it mean to have a stiff upper lip?
To have a stiff upper lip is to insist that nothing is wrong while having feelings of internal confusion. —Hunter, Amy
How do you know you have a problem?
Truly jealous people experience it with practically every person they date. They could date Mother Theresa and still be convinced she was squeezing in a bit of hanky-panky on her way home from the orphanage. —Askmen.com
How does self-esteem relate to jealous and abusive behavior?
The more highly you think of yourself, the less likely you’ll believe your partner would dream of risking your relationship. —Askmen.com If you are unconfident in your own attractiveness as a partner, insecurities can develop. If your insecurities are not addressed, they WILL fester and grow. —Healthyplace.com staff writer
Should feelings of jealousy be ignored/ suppressed?
No. Trying to ignore feelings of jealousy will likely result in a loss of control later. When you notice feelings of jealousy, rather than ignore them, assess your feelings and make a decision about how you will act. —Hunter, Amy If suppressed long enough, a jealous person will see problems that aren’t really there. —Healthyplace.com staff writer
Jealousy & communication: discuss.
After you process and have thought through what you are feeling, it is healthy to discuss it with your partner in a way that does not shame or blame them. Your focus should be on your feelings and perceptions and establishing healthy boundaries to protect your relationship together. —Lacie, Jany There is a small percentage of jealousy that comes from a valid feeling, but, most of the time, jealousy comes from personal insecurities that have grown because of lack of communication. -Healthyplace.com staff writer
Jealousy just means somebody is insecure, so you should be patient with them, right?
Wrong. No matter where abuse stems from, abuse in relationships is very unhealthy and should not be taken lightly. More on that in the Abuse deck. —Sweet, Nava
What are symptoms of unhealthy jealousy?
AKA, asshole behavior? •You doubt your spouse’s partner and wrongfully accuse him/ her, pushing your spouse away. •You feel worthless and unimportant - so you try to make your partner feel that way! •You become frustrated and overwhelmed. •You have a desire to control. •You have less sexual intimacy with your partner. —Rosberg, Gary and Barbara & Sweet, Nava
If confronted over jealous behavior, is it reasonable to become angry/ embarrassed and not want to discuss the subject or your feelings?
No. If you are being confronted over this, then you have an important chance to make things better. It does not hurt to own up to your actions. And if someone is unable to discuss their feelings to their partner TO THE POINT OF ABUSE STEMMED FROM JEALOUSY, they should not be in a relationship with anybody. Openness is important. —Sweet, Nava
Is jealousy a compliment/ an ego boost?
Not if it gets out of hand. A boost to the ego is a far cry from the fights and resentment that can come from real, hidden jealousy. —Healthyplace.com staff writer
Who wants to admit that they are a jealous person?
Nobody. -Healthyplace.com staff writer
What does unhealthy jealousy feel like?
A friendly conversation can look like flirting or a hug may seem to go on a little too long even though it is innocent. And, unfairly to your partner, you will overreact in anger or heavy emotion.
