Intimacy, love and sexuality Flashcards
How do children describe friendships?
Young children describe friends in concrete terms: Available playmate (they’re in my class, they live on my street), Have something tangible to offer (they invited me to their birthday party)
How do teenagers describe friendships?
Teenagers seek deeper connections: Someone with whom they can be intimate
Someone they can trust, who has similar values/attitudes, who is loyal and supportive
What is intimacy?
the emotional sense of attachment to someone whom one shares knowledge and a concern for each other’s well being. Often involves self-disclosure. It Can apply to friendships (i.e., platonic relationships) and romantic relationships
What is self-disclosure?
Process in which individuals communicate to others intimate information about their experiences and feelings
What is the emerging adulthood psychosocial crisis (Erikson’s theory)?
intimacy vs. isolation. Challenge: developing an intimate relationship without compromising one’s own identity.
What comes first identity or intimacy In Erikson’s theory?
Must know ourselves (i.e., formed identity). Identity –> intimacy
What is Sullivan’s theory?
Development as a series of stages
Stages reflect changing interpersonal needs and social relationships. Others’ feedback, acceptance, appraisal → helps construct self-concept
What is the first stage of Sullivan’s theory?
Pre-adolescence stage: need for intimacy
Gain sense of well-being by developing first close interpersonal friendship
Mutual caring, regard, reciprocity, and exchange between two equals
Provides confidence to give and receive intimate thoughts and feelings
What is the second stage of Sullivan’s theory?
Early adolescence stage: need for sexuality
Desire for close interpersonal relationship interacts with increasing romantic and sexual desires
Goal is to find a romantic partner who can also be an intimate friend
What comes first in Sullivan’s theory intimacy or identity?
Intimacy → Identity
So which one is it, intimacy first or identity first?
More complimentary than contradictory. Erikson: how to achieve end goal
Sullivan: process of how to get there
Reciprocal effects: Identity
How do people choose partners?
Relationships with people that are similar in:
Social characteristics (e.g., peer crowd status)
Demographic characteristics (e.g., SES, age, sex, culture, religion)
School-related attitudes (e.g., academic achievement, education plans)
Deviant behaviour (e.g., substance use, antisocial behaviour)
They become more similar and influence/socialize each other
What are the good things that romantic relationships typically involve in comparison to friendships?
More intense positive emotions, sexual activity, being cared for by partner, and having social companion for leisure activities
What are the bad things that romantic relationships have in comparison to friendships?
More intense negative emotions, more social constraints, emotional vulnerability, more conflict than friendship
What blurred lines may exist between friendships and romantic relationships?
Distinction not always clear.
Mix of relationship characteristics that are present/absent Friends with benefits, “Flirtationship”, “Your person”.
Different perspectives on nature of relationship (e.g., friend zone, unrequited love,
unreciprocated love)
What is the current prevalence rates for romantic relationships among american teens
7th grade: 17%
9th grade: 32%
11th grade: 44%
Why do the number of adolescent’s in relationships increase with age?
Hormones (emotions are more intense), cognitive maturity and oppurtunity
What are the top reasons for romantic relationships?
Recreation (fun, enjoyment)
Learning (becoming more skilled at romantic relationships)
Status (impressing others) Companionship (sharing activities with another)
Companionship (sharing activities with one another)
Intimacy (establishing a close emotional relationship)
Courtship (seeking a steady partner)
Sexual experimentation (exploring sexual activity)
What are the top 3 reasons adolescence engage in romantic relationships?
1) recreation
2) intimacy
3) status
What are the top 3 emerging adults engage in romantic relationships?
1) intimacy
2) companionship
3) recreation
What are the 3 fundamental qualities in sterberg’s theory of love?
1) Passion (Physical attraction, sexual desire, Intense emotions)
2) Intimacy (Feelings of closeness, emotional attachment, Mutual understanding, support, open communication)
3) Commitment (Pledge of enduring love, Sustains relationship through fluctuations in passion and intimacy)
What are Sternberg’s types of love?
Liking: Characterizes most friendships, Just intimacy
Infatuation: Physiological & emotional arousal, just passion
Empty love: Commitment, loyalty just commitment
Romantic love: Joyful, ‘in love,’ but fleeting , intimacy and passion
Companionate love: Old married couple, close friendship or family. Intimacy and commitment
Fatuous love: Whirlwind courtship, passion and commitment.
Consummate love: ‘Ultimate’, all 3 qualities
What are some limitations of sternberg’s theory?
Romantic vs. fatuous
Changing over time Individuals within relationships experiencing different types
not all of them may be considered love (infatuation=lust and liking)
Applying Sternbergs theory to adolescence: What type is most common?
Infatuation andRomantic love.
Absence of long-term commitment in adolescence
Consummate love possible, but rare (e.g., high school sweethearts)
What type of relationship quality is more common or develops more in emerging adulthood?
Commitment develops into emerging adulthood Begin seeking a lifelong love relationship
What are the 4 phases in Brown’s model of adolescent love?
Initiation phase, status phase, affection phase and bonding phase
What is the initiation phase?
First explorations of romantic interest, often involve fear, anxiety, excitement
and Awareness of potential peer scrutiny
What is the status phase?
Begin to form romantic relationships, assessing romantic interest. Considering potential impact on social status
what is the affection phase?
Express deeper feelings, sexual activity and Peers as source of support, arbitrators; peer jealousy
What is the bonding phase?
Becomes more enduring and serious, consideration of life-long commitment Peer influence weakens
What do romantic relationships not equal?
Do not equal love. · Often have multiple relationships over the course of adolescence and emerging adulthood Some (most) do not involve love, particularly in early adolescence
What does love not equal?
enduring commitment
What happens in most adolescent relationships and why?
Most adolescent relationships end
Causes:Low levels of love and intimacy, Less similar in characteristics and Boredom and indifference
What loss does one experience after a breakup?
Loss of affection, comfort, support, pleasure, validation, self-esteem, social status, Source of pain, anger, despair, sense of loss
Can occur even if the relationship wasn’t strongly defined by love
Why do break ups seem to really hurt in adolescence?
Heartache + hormones +personal fable= the most pain anyone has ever experienced in the history of all humankind, from which you will never ever recover
What are the effects of heartache?
Depression (especially among girls),
Substance use (Less likely for the one who initiated break-up)
possibly Romantic harassment (> ½ of female college students, Increasing prevalence on social media)
What are some of the positive effects of failed relationships?
Teach us things to avoid in the future
Increase chance of future ‘successful’ relationships
But not always (e.g., repeating maladaptive patterns)
What is the average age of someones first time and rates over time?
17 years old.
1925-1965: 10% of females, 25% of males
1990s: 54%
2016: 41%
Where does most intercourse occur in adolescence?
Most intercourse occurs within context of romantic relationships. However, recreational sex still common: 60% of sexually active adolescents but rarely with strangers
What are the prevalence rates of sexual activity for emerging adults and are they rising?
1960s: 40%, Mid 1970’s: 75%, 1980-present: 80%
why are there higher rates of sexual activity in emerging adults?
More acceptable
Commonly in close romantic relationships
More likely to engage in recreational sex
Describe restrictive cultures in the ford and beach culture approaches to adolescent sexuality
Strong prohibitions on premarital sexual activity
Separate boys and girls through adolescence Physical punishment, public shaming
More restrictive for girls (Double standard)
Describe semi-restrictive cultures in the ford and beach culture approaches to adolescent sexuality
Premarital sex prohibited
Not formally enforced
“Turning a blind eye” (as long as discreet)
When not discreet, more traditional expectations are enforced (e.g., marriage)
Describe the view of permissive cultures in the ford and beach culture approaches to adolescent sexuality
Sexual activity expected and Can be encouraged, even in childhood
Do rates of sexual activity differ across culture and gender?
Countries: Asian countries have lower and more traditional countries have lower rates than north american
Sex (men > women)
Why are men more sexually active than women?
Differential risk (e.g., pregnancy) Double standards
What are the sexual scripts used by girls (Role, important factors and first experience)
Role: Sets limits on progression
importance: romance, intimacy, friendship
First experience: ambivalent, keeps secret
What are the sexual scripts used by boys (Role, important factors and first experience)
Sexual initiator, sexual attraction, highly positive and tells friends
What additional challenges do sexual minority teens face?
Smaller pool of potential partners
Scripts not always as clear
Coming out
Social disapproval, stigma, prejudice
What percentage of LGBT individuals were physically or verbally abused?
82% verbally abused by peers
34% physically harassed by peers
Among LGBT adolescents who experience parental rejection…
8x more likely to attempt suicide
6x more likely to report depression
3x more likely to use illegal drugs
3x more likely to have unprotected sex
How has the attitudes towards sexual minorities shifted?
Overall positive attitude shift
Average age of coming out: 1970s: 21 years old
Present: 16 years old …but still a ways to go
What is sexual harassment and who does is it especially problematic for?
Threatening or aggressive behavior related to sexuality. High rates in adolescence( Especially LGBT and early maturing girls)
Not always easy to identify (can go from mild non malicious intent to more severe its tricky to understand where to draw the line)
What is sexual coercion and when is it commonly experienced?
Act of sexual aggression in which a person is forced to have sexual relations against their will
Common in adolescence (One-third of boys, half of girls). Alcohol often (but not always) involved. Victims less effective at communicating and Aggressors more likely to ignore /overpower resistance, misinterpret social cues
