Interpersonal Relationships FINAL Flashcards
communication
any process in which people, through the use of symbols, verbally and/or nonverbally, consciously or not, intentionally or not, generate meanings with and across contexts, cultures, channels, and media
principles of sending (communicating)
the effectiveness of sending is measured by what is heard not by what is said
what percentage of how we say something is body language?
55%
what percentage of how we say something is the words used?
10%
what percentage of how we say something is tone of voice?
35%
attending (physical)
the ways which a person follows a conversation physically
what are some skills of attending?
open posture, eye contact, and leaning
listening (mental)
ability to capture and understand the message whether it’s transmitted verbally or nonverbally
rehearsing (refer to listening)
thinking about the response instead of what is being said
insincerity (refer to listening)
not being concerned about what the other is talking about
the potential of appeal
- asked to do wrong
- authority is doing wrong
- disagreeing with authority
the prerequisites to the apeal
- right standing
- right timing
- right attitude
- right wording
the procedure of the appeal
- plan ahead
- prepare your heart
- present your request
- proceed based on the answer
five levels of communication
- cliché
- facts
- opinions
- feelings
- moods
what levels of communication are necessary for intimacy?
levels 4-5 (feelings and moods)
what is the goal of the five levels of communication?
to improve on communication and bring it to a point that will enable relationships to grow to deeper levels
love definition
choosing to discover and understand the needs of another and expend whatever resources necessary to meet those needs
verse for the definition of love
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
the methods of communication
- drive thru talking
- isolation principle
- emotional word pictures
5 love languages
- words of encouragement
- quality time
- giving gifts
- acts of service
- physical touch
dynamic homeostasis
we initiate change in order to maintain consistency
conflict
disagreement that results from a clash of opposing responses to various challenges and reasons
irrational dogmatism/hardcore antagonist
people that are so stubborn and irrational about their stance that they will not listen to anybody
contention
the result of an improper response to conflict generated by the attempt of one person trying to impose his will on another
to succeed in relationships, we must be ______ enough to admit our mistakes, _____ enough to learn from them, and _________ enough to correct them
humble; smart; committed
reasons for interpersonal problems
- differences in personality
- rejection of position in relationship
- emotional baggage
- sin
emotional baggage
unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships
solutions for interpersonal problems
- appreciate God working
- understand the nature of your position
- accept what cannot be changed
- be proactive rather than reactive when dealing with sin
boundaries
a recognition of God-designed parameters in which a healthy relationship is intended to function
verses that define boundaries
James 4:4, 7-10
principles of boundaries
- based on the objective truth of scripture
- define and protect a relationship
- broken boundaries bring consequences
communicate and enforce consequences with assertiveness coupled with what?
grace, kindness, and love
_____ and _____ mature people will appreciate and respect proper boundaries
spiritually; emotionally
steps for conflict resolutions
- importance of the issue
- prayer
- correct style of dealing with conflict
- recognize potential positive results from conflict
styles of dealing with conflict
- avoiding
- accommodating
- manipulating
- dominating
- collaborating
avoiding
unassertive/uncooperative
accommodating
unassertive/cooperative
dominating
assertive/uncooperative
collaborating
assertive/cooperative
causes of anger
- righteous indignation
- anger resulting from frustrated personal desires
four expressions of anger
- blowing up
- clamming up
- giving up
- fessing up
four steps to taming the emotion of anger
- evaluate
- anticipate
- communicate
- negotiate
bitterness
a sinful response to the emotion of anger caused by harboring an injustice which results in a broken fellowship with God
causes of bitterness
- comparison Christianity
- taking up another person’s offense
- when we ourselves are wronged
forgiveness
choosing to no longer hold someone accountable for the sin committed against you
five principles of governing forgiveness
- not based on whether or not a person deserves it
- to forgive does not mean forget
- granted, not earned
- servant of the will, not a prisoner of emotions
- forgiveness is the will of God
steps to rebuild a relationship after conflict
- regret
- repentance
- reconciliation
- restitution
- restoration
toxic relationship
a person pursues their own self-interests by seeking to intimidate and dominate the other through a pattern of coercive, controlling, and punishing behaviors
verses about leaving toxic relationships
2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, Proverbs 22:10
work
effort put forth to accomplish a task God has given a person to do
two areas of philosophy of work
- why are we doing this work
- how a job is done
excellence
the result of caring more than others think is prudent; risking more than others think is proper; dreaming more than others think is practical; and expecting more than others think is possible
benefits of a biblical work ethic
- provides a venue for witnessing
- promotes job security
- produces opportunities for advancements
- pleases God
- plan of God is a priority
two overriding workplace principles
- effectiveness in the workplace depends on our ability to get along with others
- biblical principles work in a secular environment
factors that make coworker relationships difficult
characteristics of the job and workers
practical solutions to coworker problems
- know your strengths and limitations
- respect others
- maturity towards those you disagree with
- avoid judgmental attitudes
- recognize coworker assets
leadership
taking the initiative to meet the needs of others with a servant’s spirit
verse defining leadership
Matthew 20:25-28
accomplishment of management
making sure the job gets done by others
accomplishment of leadership
inspiring others to do a better job
10 principles for a healthy marriage
- marriage is a covenant, not a contract
- dedicate yourself to the permanency of marriage
- cultivate your spiritual union
- mutual respect is essential
- don’t underestimate the power of verbal and observable affirmation
- marriage includes mutual dependency
- nurture recreational companionship
- embody a spirit of sacrifice
- affair-proof your marriage
- strive for work/life balance
general principles of parenting
- sacred trust
- solemn responsibility
- not a sprint
two pillars of child training
- love/fellowship
- discipline/correction
the nature of a child
- children need boundaries to develop morally
- children will develop a will to dominate
children will employ _____ to get around boundaries
manipulation
training
developing practices and habits within a child by means of instruction, exercise, and drill
training should begin when the child is _____ of _____ to it
capable; responding
purpose of the rod
training, chastisement, punishment
goal for using the rod
bring the child to a place of repentance
when to use the rod
there should be specific offenses that qualify for the rod as a punishment
biblical masculinity and femininity
an acceptance and embracing of one’s gender characteristics. As designed by God, for the purpose of fulfilling various God-given roles
five indisputable biblical masculinity traits
- elegant strength
- set-apart beauty
- meek and quiet spirit
- virtuous
- keepers at home
three types of relationships
authority, peer, subordinate
five indisputable biblical masculinity traits
- chivalry
- warrior spirit
- strength
- courage
- spiritual leadership
authority
the right, power, and responsibility to give direction to another
three ordained authorities
government, church, family
egalitarianism
assumes that difference in roles signifies difference in value
complementarianism
God attaches equally high value and dignity to the roles of both men and women
verses about husband leadership in the home
1 Timothy 3:4
biblical submission
placing yourself under watch, care, and leadership of another
biblical leadership is _____ service
sacrificial
verse about biblical submission
Titus 2:5
two types of authority
ordained, delegated
types of friendships
- convenience
- mutual activity
- third party
- milestone
building blocks of a successful friendship
- reciprocal acceptance
- reciprocal disclosure
- reciprocal encouragement
- reciprocal sacrifice
- reciprocal commitment
spiritual gifts
a God-given capacity to have a spiritually significant impact upon another person
characteristics of spiritual gifts
- all have at least one
- given at salvation
- distributed by the sovereign choice of God
- purpose is for service
passages about spiritual gifts
Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4, 1 Peter 4
the gifts are intended to be exercised…
primarily within the context of the ministry of the local church
list of spiritual gifts
- ministering
- exhortation
- giving
- teaching
- mercy
- faith
- evangelism
two categories of spiritual gifts
sign and serving gifts
God’s purpose for mankind
rulership, companionship, fellowship
four elements of God’s design
- talents
- desires/passions
- personality
- spiritual gifts
advantages of the personality test
recognize difference between people, and understand different reactions
disadvantages of the personality test
categorizing/stereotyping, excuse for some sin issues
God’s will
a daily walk/relationship with God
ingredients of God’s will
purity, brotherly love, biblical work ethic, honesty, biblical worldview
the three things under God’s will
God’s call, providence, and enabling
God’s call
a place of service or task to accomplish
benefits of knowing God’s call
confidence, direction, contentment/peace
cautions in recognizing God’s will
- God’s timing is rarely our timing
- enemy of the best decision is the good decision
- presuming upon God can be a problem
- success isn’t always an indication of God’s blessing
main things to get guidance from
God’s Word, prayer, Holy Spirit
guidance to the foundational steps
counsel, circumstances
requirements to discern God’s call
- surrender
- trust
- obedience
- desire
- focus
