Interpersonal Deck Flashcards
Recall all the bullshit I need to for this class
What does the interpersonal needs theory developed by William Schutz assert?
Our tendency to create + sustain relationships depend on affection (desire to receive love/liking), inclusion (desire to be social/ included in groups), and control (desire to influence people and events)
Maslow believes we communicate to meet what following 5 needs?
1) Physical Needs; like air, food, sex
ex: babies alert momma when hungry
2) Safety and Protection Needs; ex: someone is threatening me and I need to talk to the authorities to gain protection
ex: chloe’s momma is a worrier and calls chloe all the time
3) Belonging Needs; like social needs, wanting fit in and SHIT, and belonging to groups.
ex: girls who didnt interact behaved like 6 yr olds ( extreme social deprivation )
4) Self-Esteem Needs: valuing and respecting self and by others… self esteem shaped by how ppl communicate w/ us
5) Self-Actualization Needs: communication fosters personal growth
ex: adam learns social skills at work by talking
What are the three models of interpersonal communication?
1) Linear Model
2) Interactive Models
3) Transactional Models
What is a linear model?
One way process which one person acts on another person
What is an interactive model?
Process in which listeners give feed-back, which is a response to a message. Sequential process where one person is sender, another is receiver.
What is a transactional model?
Dynamism of interpersonal communication and multiple roles assumed during the process. Also includes feature of time to call attn to fact that messages, noise, and fields of experience vary over time.
What does interpersonal literally mean?
in between people
What does the continuum exist from?
Impersonal (It) –> Interpersonal (Interpersonal)
Martin Buber distinguished which 3 types of communication?
I- It: Impersonal
like talking to an object example: homeless person asking for moneysss and yer like no!
I- You: Ppl acknowledge each other as more than objects, but dont fully engage each other as unique individuals
ex: salesclerk asks, may I help you?
I- Thou: DEEP SHIT INTERPERSONAL SHIT I FUCKINGL LOVE YOU TYPE OF SHIT YEAH BABY GIRL! but basically the most authentic type of relationships
Sooo just adding along to Bubers description, how else can we define interpersonal communication?
WELL BABY GIRL YOU CAN VIEW IT AS SELECTIVE, SYSTEMIC, INDIVIDUAL, OR PROCESSUAL (like on going) TRANSACTIONS
Ok baby girrrrrrl, what is selective?
Uhm hey Yeah I dont wanna talk to u BITCH yaaaa so bye! felica! LOL! or maybe i do soooo im just going to be selective besides buber said that interpersonal mostly exists on i-it or i-you, CAN U BELIB THAT???
Hey baby gurrrl its me again ;)))))))), what is systemic?
Okay dis means dat it tek place within various systems ;B. Like the class room system, north american system ( how n.a. talk), education system. THINK ENERGETIC MODALITIES AND THIS ONE OF THEM, BABY GURRRRRRL :)
So ya know how all systems include noise because its inevitable, what are the 4 types of noise iVAN ?
Hey ivean is me again the bakside of ur notes ! ok i m goin 2 tell u knows
1) PSYHIOLOGICAL NOISES: mm baby girl im hunrgy do u hear mystomach growling please feed me i want u to help me grow into deana princess being a ailve again!
or ghungries or medications, or lsd, and drugs, or stuff.
2) Physical Noise: dis be the noise u hear when my door closes dis be noise when mom comes and undermines overaies, this be the noise when the aligator beats under gates!!!!! ok real talk ivan baby girl this is the noise of interference in our environments bright lights, pop up ads and stuff
3) PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE: THIS IS THE: THE DEMONS IN UR MIND HELLO IM HERE TO HAUNT U AND U BETTER LISTEN TO ME BITCH OR ELSE UY WITHL LBE DIED AND YO UWILL NOT HBE HAPPY THAT U R ALIVE AND DIED!!!!!
4) Semantic Noises: WORDS cant understand wnedy williams heres a mp3 player to help u remember: lalalalala
What is Direct Definition?
Communication that tells us explicitly who we are by directly labeling us and our behaviors.
ex: Ivette saying you’re such a bad kid or Yesenia complaining that I’m a brat lol
or Mom saying: You’re a good kid
What is reflected appraisal?
The perception of another’s view of us
important because we develop according to how others reflect back to us
ex: jeremy wore barrettes, hey u lil fagot dont wear dem, ok fk u dummy
What is a self-fulfilling prophecy?
a process which occurs when we internalize others’ expectations or judgments about ourselves and then behave in way that are consistent with those expectations and judgments
ex: i believe labels that never have been valid… like me doing horrible at the auditions?? and then the dude said i was great, lol. OR THAT YOU THINK PPL R ALWAYS TALKING SHIT LOL
What is an identity script?
Rules for living and identity.
Example: “A good education is the key to success” is one identity script that my family always instilled in me
What is an attachment style?
Patterns of care giving that teach us who we and others are and how to approach relationships.
What is a secure attachment style?
Consistent response from caregiver, cultivating a positive sense of self-worth and a positive view of others
What is fearful attachment style?
Cultivated when caregiver in first bond is unavailable or communicates in negative, rejecting, or even abusive ways to child
What is a dismissive attachment style?
Consistent Dismissive behavior cultivated by the caregiver, but do not view caregiver as unlovable
What is the anxious/ambivalent attachment style?
AKA PRE-OCCUPIED
Fostered by inconsistent treatment by the giver, sometimes I LOVE U, sometimes FK U.
How do we learn Broadly Held Social Views( aka generalized other)?
1) Through interacting with others who have integrated with exposed cultural values
2) we learn broadly shared social perspectives through media and institutions that reflect cultural values.
Examples:
Asian societies, families and other cultural institutions teach children to value cooperation and teamwork over competition and individual achievement
In the United States, popular magazines and movies inundate us with messages about how women and men are supposed to look and act
3) Third, the institutions that organize our society communicate widely endorsed social views by the values they uphold.
For example, our judicial system reminds us that, as a society, we value laws and punish those who break them.
In Western culture, the institution of marriage communicates society’s view that, when people marry, they become a single unit, which is why joint ownership of property is assumed for married couples.
What are the 4 important aspects of general social views of identity?
1) Gender
2) Race
3) Sexual Orientation
4) Socio-economic class
What are the multiple dimensions of selves shaped by?
The multiple dimensions of self are shaped by direct definitions, reflected appraisals, identity scripts, attachment styles, social comparisons, and the perspectives of the generalized other.
What does an ego boundary define?
It defines where an individual stops and the rest of the world begins.
Since the self is multidimensional, what are the different dimensions of self?
Physical Aspect: how large, attractive, and athletic you are.
Cognitive Aspect: your intelligence and aptitudes.
Emotional Aspect: Are you sensitive or not? Are you easily hurt? Are you generally upbeat or cynical?
Social Aspect: which involves how you are with others. also include our social roles: daughter or son, student, worker, parent, or partner in a committed relationship.
Moral Aspect: of our ethical and spiritual beliefs, the principles we believe in,
Since the self is a process…
We continuously evolve and it’s evidence for our capacity of self-renewal and continual growth.
Are social perspectives subject to change?
Yes
What is self-disclosure?
Revealing information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover on their own.
Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham created what model of different sorts of knowledge that affect self-development?
The Johari Model
lol JOE + HARRY MODEL
What is the first quadrant in the Johari model like?
1) Open, or public, information is known both to us and to others. Your name, height, major, and tastes in music probably are open information that you share easily with others.
KNOWN 2 SELF AND OTHERS
What is the 2nd quadrant of the Johari model like?
2) The blind area contains information that others know about us but we don’t know about ourselves. For example, others may see that we are insecure even though we think we’ve hidden that well. Others may also recognize needs or feelings that we haven’t acknowledged to ourselves.
BLIND SPOT
KNOWN 2 OTHERS, NOT SELF
What is the 3rd quadrant of the Johari model like?
3) Hidden information is what we know about ourselves but choose not to reveal to most others. You might not tell many people about your vulnerabilities or about traumas in your past because you consider this private information.
KNOWN 2 SELF, NOT KNOWN 2 OTHERS
.
What is the 4th quadrant of the Johari model like?
4) The unknown area is made up of information about ourselves that neither we nor others know. This consists of your untapped resources, your untried talents, and your reactions to experiences you’ve never had. You don’t know how you will manage a crisis until you’ve been in one, and you can’t tell what kind of parent you would be unless you’ve had a child.
UKNOWN 2 SELF & UNKNOWN 2 OTHERS
What is particular other?
Are specific people who are important in our lives.
Examples: For infants and children, particular others include family members and caregivers.
As you get older they are your peers, teachers, friends, romantic partners, coworkers, and other individuals who are especially important in our lives.
What is self?
The self arises in communication and is a multidimensional process of internalizing and acting from social perspectives.
A summary of social perspectives
social perspectives are fluid and respond to individual and collective efforts to weave new meanings into the fabric of social life. Each of us has the responsibility to speak out against social perspectives that we perceive as wrong or harmful. Reflecting carefully on social values allows us to make conscious choices about which ones we will accept for ourselves. By doing so, we participate in the ongoing process of refining who we are as a society.
Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (Page 53). Cengage Textbook. Kindle Edition.
Summary of improving self-concept
Improve self-concept. Guidelines for doing this are to make a firm commitment to personal growth, to acquire knowledge about desired changes and concrete skills, to set realistic goals, to assess yourself fairly, and to create contexts that support the changes you seek.
What is perception?
Perception is the active process of creating meaning by selecting, organizing, and interpreting people, objects, events, situations, and other phenomena.
These processes are continuous, so they blend into one another. + Interactive so they
Explain constructivism, A useful theory for explaining how we organize experience
We organize and interpret experience by applying cognitive structures called schemata
What is a prototype?
A prototype defines the clearest or most representative examples of some category (Fehr, 1993). For example, you probably have prototypes for categories such as teachers, supervisors, friends, and coworkers. Each of these categories is exemplified by a person who is the ideal; that’s the prototype. For example, if Jane is the best friend you’ve ever known, then Jane is your prototype of a friend.
Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (Page 66). Cengage Textbook. Kindle Edition.
What is a personal construct?
A personal construct is a “mental yardstick” we use to measure a person or situation along a bipolar dimension of judgment (Kelly, 1955). Examples of personal constructs are intelligent–not intelligent, kind–not kind, responsible–not responsible, assertive–not assertive, and attractive–not attractive.
Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (Page 67). Cengage Textbook. Kindle Edition.
What is a stereotype?
A stereotype is a predictive generalization applied to a person or situation.
Based on the category in which we place someone or something and how that person or thing measures up against the personal constructs we apply, we predict what he, she, or it will do.
EXAMPLES: For instance, if you define someone as a liberal, you might stereotype her or him as likely to vote Democratic, to support social legislation, to be pro-environment, and so forth. You may have stereotypes of fraternity and sorority members, military personnel, athletes, and people from other cultures.
other stereotype EXAMPLES in the workplace: All black men love sports. All members of a racial minority look alike. Anyone with a Spanish last name is fluent in Spanish. People of color are experts on race issues. Expressive communication is not rational.
What is a script?
A script is a guide to action. Scripts consist of sequences of activities that are expected of us and others in particular situations.
We have a script for greeting casual acquaintances on campus (“Hey, what’s up?” “Not much”).
What are the 4 types of cognitive schemata and what do they accomplish?
Prototypes, personal constructs, stereotypes, and scripts
To organize our perceptions of people and phenomena.
What is interpretation?
Interpretation is the subjective process of explaining our perceptions in ways that make sense to us.
What is an attribution?
An attribution is an explanation of why something happened or why someone acts a certain way
What is the first dimension of an attribute?
The first is locus, which attributes a person’s actions to internal factors (“He has no patience with people who are late”) or external factors (“The traffic jam frustrated him”).
What is the second dimension of an attribute?
STABILITY, which explains actions as the result of stable factors that won’t change over time (“She’s a Type A personality”) or unstable factors that may or will be different at another time (“She acted that way because she has a headache right now”).
What is the 3rd dimension of an attribute?
Specificity is the third dimension, and it explains behavior in terms of whether the behavior has global implications that apply in most or all situations (“He’s a big spender”) or specific implications that apply only in certain situations or under certain conditions (“He spends money when he is earning a lot.”).
What is the difference between stability and specificity?
Stability concerns time (whether the reason is temporary or enduring), whereas specificity concerns the breadth of the explanation (all situations, events, and places, or particular or limited situations and places).
Review how stability and specificity can be used together
Stable and specific: She yelled at Fred (specific) because she is short-tempered (stable). • Stable and global: She yells at everyone (global) because she is short-tempered (stable). • Unstable and specific: She yelled at Fred (specific) because she was in a hurry that day (unstable). • Unstable and global: She yells at everyone (global) when she is in a hurry (unstable).
Final and last dimension of attribution?
The fourth dimension of attributions is responsibility.
What is a self-serving bias?
REDDIT POST ILOVE U : Self-serving bias, we do something awesome, its because we are awesome. If something bad happens to us, it’s because the world sucks but not us.
Environment causes our failure, Self causes our success
a bias toward ourselves and our interests.
For example, you might say that you did well on a test because you are a smart (internal and stable) person who is always responsible (global) and studies hard (personal control).
We tend to avoid taking responsibility for negative actions and failures by attributing them to external, unstable, and specific factors that are beyond personal control
SUMM: our misconduct results from outside forces that we can’t help, but all the good we do reflects our personal qualities and efforts.
On my notes from class it says EXTERNAL
What chico from the book has to say:
When I do badly on a test or paper, I usually say either the professor was unfair or I had too much to do that week and couldn’t study like I wanted to. But when my friends do badly on a test, I tend to think they’re not good in that subject or they aren’t disciplined or whatever.
What is a fundamental attribution error?
Reddit Descriptionsz:
If someone else does something terrible, we think it is because they suck; it’s not their situation controlling them. (Disposition over situational)
Environment causes their success, self causes their failure.
Professional description and shit:
tendency people have to overemphasize personal characteristics and ignore situational factors in judging others’ behavior. Because of the fundamental attribution error, we tend to believe that others do bad things because they are bad people. We’re inclined to ignore situational factors that might have played a role.
On my notes from class it says ( OTHERS) —> internal
example in book: Lady kept blaming that her boss was trying to transfer her because he was
What are the 6 influences on our perception?
Physiology (Physical Body Vehicle has its own experiences)
Expectations,
Age (Collective of experiences if aged, then more experience-wisdom),
Culture:
Cognitive Abilities, How elaborately we think about situations and people, and our personal knowledge of others
Self: Yer self influences perception in the bookies they talk about the different attachment styles and how they affect yer self
What is culture?
A culture is the totality of beliefs, values, understandings, practices, and ways of interpreting experience that are shared by a number of people.
Some examples of cultures
American culture emphasizes technology and its offspring, speed. Most Americans expect things to happen fast, almost instantly. Whether it’s instant photos, accessing websites, or 1-hour dry cleaning, we live at an accelerated pace
In countries such as Nepal and Mexico, life often proceeds at a more leisurely pace, and people spend more time talking, relaxing, and engaging in low-key activity.
What is a standpoint?
A point of view shaped by political awareness of the social location of a group—the material, social, and symbolic conditions common for members of a social group.
EXAMPLES:
People who belong to powerful, high-status social groups have a vested interest in preserving the system that gives them privileges; thus, they are unlikely to perceive its flaws and inequities. Conversely, those who belong to less-privileged groups are able to see inequities and discrimination.
What is cognitive complexity?
refers to the number of personal constructs used (remember, these are bipolar dimensions of judgment), how abstract they are, and how elaborately they interact to shape perceptions.
What is person-centeredness?
The ability to perceive another as a unique individual.
What is empathy?
is the ability to feel with another person, to feel what she or he feels in a situation.
What 2 categories fall under cognitive abilities?
Cognitive Complexity and Person Centeredness
What is the implicit personality theory?
A collection of unspoken and sometimes unconscious assumptions about how various qualities fit together in human personalities.
EX: For instance, you might think that people who are outgoing are also friendly, confident, and fun. The assumption that outgoing people are friendly, confident, and fun reflects your implicit personality theory of the qualities that accompany outgoingness.
What Affects what we perceive and how we interpret others and experiences? (SUMMARY!!!)
In sum, physiology, culture and standpoint, social roles, cognitive abilities, and we ourselves affect what we perceive and how we interpret others and experiences.
What 2 categories fall under culture?
Social Location ( standpoint is in hurrr)
&&
Rolesss
Review how perceptions are shaped by roles…
Both the training we receive to fulfill a role and the actual demands of the role affect what we notice and how we interpret and evaluate the role..
So like EXAMPLEEEE:
Professor Perception: I perceive classes in terms of how interested students seem, whether they appear to have read the material, and whether they’re applying what we study to their lives.
Student Perception: Students have told me that they perceive classes in terms of time of day, number and difficulty of tests, whether papers are required, and whether the professor is interesting.
OKAYYYY ALSO… The professions people enter influence what they notice and how they think and act.
so remember how the professor went to a social gathering and the doctor there was like haaaay gurlfrand u gots a herniated disk and she was like NAAAAAAAAAAAAAH??? and he was like yaaaah. and then she was like oh my gosh!
The theory of implicit personality theory helps explain what???
theory helps explain how the self influences interpersonal perceptions.
What are some guidelines for improving perception and communication?
1 - Recognize that all perceptions are partial and subjective
2 - Avoid Mind Reading
3 - Check perceptions with others
4 - Distinguish between facts and Inferences
5 - Guard against self- serving Bias
6 - Monitor Labels
Review why perceptions are partial and subjective
are partial because we cannot perceive everything; and they are subjective because they are influenced by factors such as culture, physiology, roles, standpoint, and cognitive abilities.
examplllllle : An outfit perceived as elegant by one person may appear cheap to another. A teacher one student regards as fascinating may put another student to sleep.
The subjective and partial nature of perceptions has implications for interpersonal communication. What are the 2 implications??
First one is… when you and another person disagree about something, neither of you is necessarily wrong. It’s more likely that you have attended to different things and that there are differences in your personal, social, cultural, cognitive, and physiological resources for perceiving.
YALL DISAGREE NUN OF YAAALLLS IS WRONG DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES YOOOO
Second one is…. that it’s wise to remind ourselves that our perceptions are based at least as much on ourselves as on anything external to us.
If you perceive another person as domineering, there’s a chance that you are feeling insecure in your ability to interact. If you perceive others as unfriendly toward you, it may be that you think of yourself as unworthy of friends.
SUMMARRRY NIGGAAA:
Remembering that perceptions are partial and subjective curbs the tendency to think that our perceptions are the only valid ones or that they are based exclusively on what lies outside of us
What is mind reading?
Is assuming we understand what another person thinks, feels, or perceives.
Examples:
One person says to her partner, “I know you didn’t plan anything for our anniversary because it’s not important to you.” A supervisor notices that an employee is late for work several days in a row and assumes the employee isn’t committed to the job. Gina is late meeting her friend Alex, who assumes she is late because Gina’s still mad about what happened. Alex is guessing reasons for Gina’s tardiness and could well be wrong.
OR MIKE MIND READING ME THINKING IM GOING TO EAT ALL OF HIS SNACKS BECAUSE I USE FOOD TO AVOID MY PROBLEMS
OR MIKE THINKING I DIDNT WANT TO WORK THERE, BUT IN REALITY I JUST DIDNT WANT TO BE AROUND HIM
More exampless Ivan :8 lols!! : “I know why you’re upset” (has the person said she or he is upset? What makes you think you know why he or she is upset, if he or she actually is?) or “You don’t care about me anymore”
SUMMARY BBAY GIGRL IVAN!! : When we mind read, we impose our perspectives on others instead of allowing them to say what they think.
Why is perception checking an important skill?
Perception checking is an important communication skill because it helps people arrive at mutual understandings of each other and their relationships.
What is the difference between a fact and an inference?
A fact is based on observation. An inference involves an interpretation that goes beyond the facts.
EXAMPLEE TIME!!! YAY!! : suppose that a person is consistently late reporting to work and sometimes dozes off during discussions. Coworkers might think, “That person is lazy and unmotivated.”
The FACTS!!! are that the person comes in late and sometimes falls asleep
. Defining the person as lazy and unmotivated is an INFERENCE that goes beyond the facts.
It’s possible that the coworker is tired because he or she has a second job or is taking medication that induces drowsiness??????
How to guard from fundamental attribution error?
Prompt yourself to look for external causes of others’ behaviors that you may not have thought of or appreciated.
“What factors in the person’s situation might lead to this behavior?”
Instead of letting yerself off the hookies ask yerself
“What factor inside of me that is my responsibility influenced what I did?”
SUMARRIES YAY!!! : Looking for external factors that influence others’ communication and internal factors that influence your own communication checks our tendency to make fundamental attribution errors.
How to guard from the self- serving bias?
Remember in self serving biassss you note what you do most and not others
SO LIKE WHAT JANET SAIDDDD FOR EXAMPUL:
For years, my husband and I have argued about housework. I am always criticizing him for not doing enough, and I have felt resentful about how much I do. He always says to me that he does a lot, but I just don’t notice. After studying the self-serving bias in class, I did an “experiment” at home. I watched him for a week and kept a list of all the things he did. Sure enough, he was—is—doing a lot more than I thought. I never noticed that he sorted laundry or walked the dog four times a day or wiped the kitchen counters after we’d finished fixing dinner. I noticed everything I did but only the big things he did, like vacuuming. I simply wasn’t seeing a lot of his contributions to keep our home in order.
See whether you attribute others’ successes and admirable actions to external factors beyond their control and their shortcomings and blunders to internal factors they can (should) control.
If you do this, substitute more generous explanations for others’ behaviors, and notice how that affects your perceptions of them.
Why should we monitor labels?
Once we label our perceptions, we may respond to our own labels rather than to actual phenomena.
FOR EXAMPLE:
Suppose you get together with five others in a study group, and a student named Andrea monopolizes the whole meeting with her questions and concerns. Leaving the meeting, one person says, “Gee, Andrea is so selfish and immature! I’ll never work with her again.” Another person responds, “She’s not really selfish. She’s just insecure about her grades in this course, so she was hyper in the meeting.” Chances are that these two people will perceive and treat Andrea differently depending on whether they’ve labeled her “selfish” or “insecure.” Once the two people have labeled Andrea’s behavior based on their subjective and partial perceptions, they may act toward Andrea based on their labels.
In regards to identities why should we monitor labels?
Because ppl get offended???
Ex: Chloe in class
FOR EXAMPLE:
Many adult females resent being called girls and prefer to be called women. Most gays and lesbians reject the label homosexual, and they may resent hearing themselves labeled as such. Many people who have disabilities feel that the term disabled people suggests that they are disabled as people simply because they have some physical or mental condition. They prefer to the term person with disabilities to the term disabled person
Words are symbols which are…
1 - Arbitrary
2- Ambiguous
3 - Abstract
What does it mean that symbols are arbitrary?
words are not intrinsically connected to what they mean
EX: The word book, for example, has no necessary or natural connection to what you are reading now. All symbols are arbitrary because we could easily use other symbols as long as we all agreed that certain symbols would refer to certain things.
BECOMES OBVIOUS WHEN WE DISCOVER WORDS DONT MEAN SAME THING IN OTHER CULTURES…
EX: is the dr pepper guy had to learn the hard way that when he advertised im a pepper in the uk, did not mean that i am a pepper, but it meant that i am a prostitute.
Arbitrary quality of language allows us to make up special words/ meanings to words… some examples
“fetch” = cool
“fugly”
nieces and nephews = “niblings”
Why are symbols ambiguous?
Symbols are not clear cut
EX: A good friend to one person is someone to hang with OR to another it is someone to confide in
EX: affordable clothes to people who earn minimum VS. who have cash
EX: dog may mean 4 legged friend OR 4 legged food
ETHAN : Manager wanted staff to be more personal w/ customers and each staff member took a different approach to doing it
