Interpersonal Deck Flashcards
Recall all the bullshit I need to for this class
What does the interpersonal needs theory developed by William Schutz assert?
Our tendency to create + sustain relationships depend on affection (desire to receive love/liking), inclusion (desire to be social/ included in groups), and control (desire to influence people and events)
Maslow believes we communicate to meet what following 5 needs?
1) Physical Needs; like air, food, sex
ex: babies alert momma when hungry
2) Safety and Protection Needs; ex: someone is threatening me and I need to talk to the authorities to gain protection
ex: chloe’s momma is a worrier and calls chloe all the time
3) Belonging Needs; like social needs, wanting fit in and SHIT, and belonging to groups.
ex: girls who didnt interact behaved like 6 yr olds ( extreme social deprivation )
4) Self-Esteem Needs: valuing and respecting self and by others… self esteem shaped by how ppl communicate w/ us
5) Self-Actualization Needs: communication fosters personal growth
ex: adam learns social skills at work by talking
What are the three models of interpersonal communication?
1) Linear Model
2) Interactive Models
3) Transactional Models
What is a linear model?
One way process which one person acts on another person
What is an interactive model?
Process in which listeners give feed-back, which is a response to a message. Sequential process where one person is sender, another is receiver.
What is a transactional model?
Dynamism of interpersonal communication and multiple roles assumed during the process. Also includes feature of time to call attn to fact that messages, noise, and fields of experience vary over time.
What does interpersonal literally mean?
in between people
What does the continuum exist from?
Impersonal (It) –> Interpersonal (Interpersonal)
Martin Buber distinguished which 3 types of communication?
I- It: Impersonal
like talking to an object example: homeless person asking for moneysss and yer like no!
I- You: Ppl acknowledge each other as more than objects, but dont fully engage each other as unique individuals
ex: salesclerk asks, may I help you?
I- Thou: DEEP SHIT INTERPERSONAL SHIT I FUCKINGL LOVE YOU TYPE OF SHIT YEAH BABY GIRL! but basically the most authentic type of relationships
Sooo just adding along to Bubers description, how else can we define interpersonal communication?
WELL BABY GIRL YOU CAN VIEW IT AS SELECTIVE, SYSTEMIC, INDIVIDUAL, OR PROCESSUAL (like on going) TRANSACTIONS
Ok baby girrrrrrl, what is selective?
Uhm hey Yeah I dont wanna talk to u BITCH yaaaa so bye! felica! LOL! or maybe i do soooo im just going to be selective besides buber said that interpersonal mostly exists on i-it or i-you, CAN U BELIB THAT???
Hey baby gurrrl its me again ;)))))))), what is systemic?
Okay dis means dat it tek place within various systems ;B. Like the class room system, north american system ( how n.a. talk), education system. THINK ENERGETIC MODALITIES AND THIS ONE OF THEM, BABY GURRRRRRL :)
So ya know how all systems include noise because its inevitable, what are the 4 types of noise iVAN ?
Hey ivean is me again the bakside of ur notes ! ok i m goin 2 tell u knows
1) PSYHIOLOGICAL NOISES: mm baby girl im hunrgy do u hear mystomach growling please feed me i want u to help me grow into deana princess being a ailve again!
or ghungries or medications, or lsd, and drugs, or stuff.
2) Physical Noise: dis be the noise u hear when my door closes dis be noise when mom comes and undermines overaies, this be the noise when the aligator beats under gates!!!!! ok real talk ivan baby girl this is the noise of interference in our environments bright lights, pop up ads and stuff
3) PSYCHOLOGICAL NOISE: THIS IS THE: THE DEMONS IN UR MIND HELLO IM HERE TO HAUNT U AND U BETTER LISTEN TO ME BITCH OR ELSE UY WITHL LBE DIED AND YO UWILL NOT HBE HAPPY THAT U R ALIVE AND DIED!!!!!
4) Semantic Noises: WORDS cant understand wnedy williams heres a mp3 player to help u remember: lalalalala
What is Direct Definition?
Communication that tells us explicitly who we are by directly labeling us and our behaviors.
ex: Ivette saying you’re such a bad kid or Yesenia complaining that I’m a brat lol
or Mom saying: You’re a good kid
What is reflected appraisal?
The perception of another’s view of us
important because we develop according to how others reflect back to us
ex: jeremy wore barrettes, hey u lil fagot dont wear dem, ok fk u dummy
What is a self-fulfilling prophecy?
a process which occurs when we internalize others’ expectations or judgments about ourselves and then behave in way that are consistent with those expectations and judgments
ex: i believe labels that never have been valid… like me doing horrible at the auditions?? and then the dude said i was great, lol. OR THAT YOU THINK PPL R ALWAYS TALKING SHIT LOL
What is an identity script?
Rules for living and identity.
Example: “A good education is the key to success” is one identity script that my family always instilled in me
What is an attachment style?
Patterns of care giving that teach us who we and others are and how to approach relationships.
What is a secure attachment style?
Consistent response from caregiver, cultivating a positive sense of self-worth and a positive view of others
What is fearful attachment style?
Cultivated when caregiver in first bond is unavailable or communicates in negative, rejecting, or even abusive ways to child
What is a dismissive attachment style?
Consistent Dismissive behavior cultivated by the caregiver, but do not view caregiver as unlovable
What is the anxious/ambivalent attachment style?
AKA PRE-OCCUPIED
Fostered by inconsistent treatment by the giver, sometimes I LOVE U, sometimes FK U.
How do we learn Broadly Held Social Views( aka generalized other)?
1) Through interacting with others who have integrated with exposed cultural values
2) we learn broadly shared social perspectives through media and institutions that reflect cultural values.
Examples:
Asian societies, families and other cultural institutions teach children to value cooperation and teamwork over competition and individual achievement
In the United States, popular magazines and movies inundate us with messages about how women and men are supposed to look and act
3) Third, the institutions that organize our society communicate widely endorsed social views by the values they uphold.
For example, our judicial system reminds us that, as a society, we value laws and punish those who break them.
In Western culture, the institution of marriage communicates society’s view that, when people marry, they become a single unit, which is why joint ownership of property is assumed for married couples.
What are the 4 important aspects of general social views of identity?
1) Gender
2) Race
3) Sexual Orientation
4) Socio-economic class
What are the multiple dimensions of selves shaped by?
The multiple dimensions of self are shaped by direct definitions, reflected appraisals, identity scripts, attachment styles, social comparisons, and the perspectives of the generalized other.
What does an ego boundary define?
It defines where an individual stops and the rest of the world begins.
Since the self is multidimensional, what are the different dimensions of self?
Physical Aspect: how large, attractive, and athletic you are.
Cognitive Aspect: your intelligence and aptitudes.
Emotional Aspect: Are you sensitive or not? Are you easily hurt? Are you generally upbeat or cynical?
Social Aspect: which involves how you are with others. also include our social roles: daughter or son, student, worker, parent, or partner in a committed relationship.
Moral Aspect: of our ethical and spiritual beliefs, the principles we believe in,
Since the self is a process…
We continuously evolve and it’s evidence for our capacity of self-renewal and continual growth.
Are social perspectives subject to change?
Yes
What is self-disclosure?
Revealing information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover on their own.
Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham created what model of different sorts of knowledge that affect self-development?
The Johari Model
lol JOE + HARRY MODEL
What is the first quadrant in the Johari model like?
1) Open, or public, information is known both to us and to others. Your name, height, major, and tastes in music probably are open information that you share easily with others.
KNOWN 2 SELF AND OTHERS
What is the 2nd quadrant of the Johari model like?
2) The blind area contains information that others know about us but we don’t know about ourselves. For example, others may see that we are insecure even though we think we’ve hidden that well. Others may also recognize needs or feelings that we haven’t acknowledged to ourselves.
BLIND SPOT
KNOWN 2 OTHERS, NOT SELF
What is the 3rd quadrant of the Johari model like?
3) Hidden information is what we know about ourselves but choose not to reveal to most others. You might not tell many people about your vulnerabilities or about traumas in your past because you consider this private information.
KNOWN 2 SELF, NOT KNOWN 2 OTHERS
.
What is the 4th quadrant of the Johari model like?
4) The unknown area is made up of information about ourselves that neither we nor others know. This consists of your untapped resources, your untried talents, and your reactions to experiences you’ve never had. You don’t know how you will manage a crisis until you’ve been in one, and you can’t tell what kind of parent you would be unless you’ve had a child.
UKNOWN 2 SELF & UNKNOWN 2 OTHERS
What is particular other?
Are specific people who are important in our lives.
Examples: For infants and children, particular others include family members and caregivers.
As you get older they are your peers, teachers, friends, romantic partners, coworkers, and other individuals who are especially important in our lives.
What is self?
The self arises in communication and is a multidimensional process of internalizing and acting from social perspectives.
A summary of social perspectives
social perspectives are fluid and respond to individual and collective efforts to weave new meanings into the fabric of social life. Each of us has the responsibility to speak out against social perspectives that we perceive as wrong or harmful. Reflecting carefully on social values allows us to make conscious choices about which ones we will accept for ourselves. By doing so, we participate in the ongoing process of refining who we are as a society.
Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (Page 53). Cengage Textbook. Kindle Edition.
Summary of improving self-concept
Improve self-concept. Guidelines for doing this are to make a firm commitment to personal growth, to acquire knowledge about desired changes and concrete skills, to set realistic goals, to assess yourself fairly, and to create contexts that support the changes you seek.
What is perception?
Perception is the active process of creating meaning by selecting, organizing, and interpreting people, objects, events, situations, and other phenomena.
These processes are continuous, so they blend into one another. + Interactive so they
Explain constructivism, A useful theory for explaining how we organize experience
We organize and interpret experience by applying cognitive structures called schemata
What is a prototype?
A prototype defines the clearest or most representative examples of some category (Fehr, 1993). For example, you probably have prototypes for categories such as teachers, supervisors, friends, and coworkers. Each of these categories is exemplified by a person who is the ideal; that’s the prototype. For example, if Jane is the best friend you’ve ever known, then Jane is your prototype of a friend.
Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (Page 66). Cengage Textbook. Kindle Edition.
What is a personal construct?
A personal construct is a “mental yardstick” we use to measure a person or situation along a bipolar dimension of judgment (Kelly, 1955). Examples of personal constructs are intelligent–not intelligent, kind–not kind, responsible–not responsible, assertive–not assertive, and attractive–not attractive.
Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters (Page 67). Cengage Textbook. Kindle Edition.
What is a stereotype?
A stereotype is a predictive generalization applied to a person or situation.
Based on the category in which we place someone or something and how that person or thing measures up against the personal constructs we apply, we predict what he, she, or it will do.
EXAMPLES: For instance, if you define someone as a liberal, you might stereotype her or him as likely to vote Democratic, to support social legislation, to be pro-environment, and so forth. You may have stereotypes of fraternity and sorority members, military personnel, athletes, and people from other cultures.
other stereotype EXAMPLES in the workplace: All black men love sports. All members of a racial minority look alike. Anyone with a Spanish last name is fluent in Spanish. People of color are experts on race issues. Expressive communication is not rational.
What is a script?
A script is a guide to action. Scripts consist of sequences of activities that are expected of us and others in particular situations.
We have a script for greeting casual acquaintances on campus (“Hey, what’s up?” “Not much”).
What are the 4 types of cognitive schemata and what do they accomplish?
Prototypes, personal constructs, stereotypes, and scripts
To organize our perceptions of people and phenomena.
What is interpretation?
Interpretation is the subjective process of explaining our perceptions in ways that make sense to us.
What is an attribution?
An attribution is an explanation of why something happened or why someone acts a certain way
What is the first dimension of an attribute?
The first is locus, which attributes a person’s actions to internal factors (“He has no patience with people who are late”) or external factors (“The traffic jam frustrated him”).
What is the second dimension of an attribute?
STABILITY, which explains actions as the result of stable factors that won’t change over time (“She’s a Type A personality”) or unstable factors that may or will be different at another time (“She acted that way because she has a headache right now”).
What is the 3rd dimension of an attribute?
Specificity is the third dimension, and it explains behavior in terms of whether the behavior has global implications that apply in most or all situations (“He’s a big spender”) or specific implications that apply only in certain situations or under certain conditions (“He spends money when he is earning a lot.”).
What is the difference between stability and specificity?
Stability concerns time (whether the reason is temporary or enduring), whereas specificity concerns the breadth of the explanation (all situations, events, and places, or particular or limited situations and places).
Review how stability and specificity can be used together
Stable and specific: She yelled at Fred (specific) because she is short-tempered (stable). • Stable and global: She yells at everyone (global) because she is short-tempered (stable). • Unstable and specific: She yelled at Fred (specific) because she was in a hurry that day (unstable). • Unstable and global: She yells at everyone (global) when she is in a hurry (unstable).
Final and last dimension of attribution?
The fourth dimension of attributions is responsibility.
What is a self-serving bias?
REDDIT POST ILOVE U : Self-serving bias, we do something awesome, its because we are awesome. If something bad happens to us, it’s because the world sucks but not us.
Environment causes our failure, Self causes our success
a bias toward ourselves and our interests.
For example, you might say that you did well on a test because you are a smart (internal and stable) person who is always responsible (global) and studies hard (personal control).
We tend to avoid taking responsibility for negative actions and failures by attributing them to external, unstable, and specific factors that are beyond personal control
SUMM: our misconduct results from outside forces that we can’t help, but all the good we do reflects our personal qualities and efforts.
On my notes from class it says EXTERNAL
What chico from the book has to say:
When I do badly on a test or paper, I usually say either the professor was unfair or I had too much to do that week and couldn’t study like I wanted to. But when my friends do badly on a test, I tend to think they’re not good in that subject or they aren’t disciplined or whatever.
What is a fundamental attribution error?
Reddit Descriptionsz:
If someone else does something terrible, we think it is because they suck; it’s not their situation controlling them. (Disposition over situational)
Environment causes their success, self causes their failure.
Professional description and shit:
tendency people have to overemphasize personal characteristics and ignore situational factors in judging others’ behavior. Because of the fundamental attribution error, we tend to believe that others do bad things because they are bad people. We’re inclined to ignore situational factors that might have played a role.
On my notes from class it says ( OTHERS) —> internal
example in book: Lady kept blaming that her boss was trying to transfer her because he was
What are the 6 influences on our perception?
Physiology (Physical Body Vehicle has its own experiences)
Expectations,
Age (Collective of experiences if aged, then more experience-wisdom),
Culture:
Cognitive Abilities, How elaborately we think about situations and people, and our personal knowledge of others
Self: Yer self influences perception in the bookies they talk about the different attachment styles and how they affect yer self
What is culture?
A culture is the totality of beliefs, values, understandings, practices, and ways of interpreting experience that are shared by a number of people.
Some examples of cultures
American culture emphasizes technology and its offspring, speed. Most Americans expect things to happen fast, almost instantly. Whether it’s instant photos, accessing websites, or 1-hour dry cleaning, we live at an accelerated pace
In countries such as Nepal and Mexico, life often proceeds at a more leisurely pace, and people spend more time talking, relaxing, and engaging in low-key activity.
What is a standpoint?
A point of view shaped by political awareness of the social location of a group—the material, social, and symbolic conditions common for members of a social group.
EXAMPLES:
People who belong to powerful, high-status social groups have a vested interest in preserving the system that gives them privileges; thus, they are unlikely to perceive its flaws and inequities. Conversely, those who belong to less-privileged groups are able to see inequities and discrimination.
What is cognitive complexity?
refers to the number of personal constructs used (remember, these are bipolar dimensions of judgment), how abstract they are, and how elaborately they interact to shape perceptions.
What is person-centeredness?
The ability to perceive another as a unique individual.
What is empathy?
is the ability to feel with another person, to feel what she or he feels in a situation.
What 2 categories fall under cognitive abilities?
Cognitive Complexity and Person Centeredness
What is the implicit personality theory?
A collection of unspoken and sometimes unconscious assumptions about how various qualities fit together in human personalities.
EX: For instance, you might think that people who are outgoing are also friendly, confident, and fun. The assumption that outgoing people are friendly, confident, and fun reflects your implicit personality theory of the qualities that accompany outgoingness.
What Affects what we perceive and how we interpret others and experiences? (SUMMARY!!!)
In sum, physiology, culture and standpoint, social roles, cognitive abilities, and we ourselves affect what we perceive and how we interpret others and experiences.
What 2 categories fall under culture?
Social Location ( standpoint is in hurrr)
&&
Rolesss
Review how perceptions are shaped by roles…
Both the training we receive to fulfill a role and the actual demands of the role affect what we notice and how we interpret and evaluate the role..
So like EXAMPLEEEE:
Professor Perception: I perceive classes in terms of how interested students seem, whether they appear to have read the material, and whether they’re applying what we study to their lives.
Student Perception: Students have told me that they perceive classes in terms of time of day, number and difficulty of tests, whether papers are required, and whether the professor is interesting.
OKAYYYY ALSO… The professions people enter influence what they notice and how they think and act.
so remember how the professor went to a social gathering and the doctor there was like haaaay gurlfrand u gots a herniated disk and she was like NAAAAAAAAAAAAAH??? and he was like yaaaah. and then she was like oh my gosh!
The theory of implicit personality theory helps explain what???
theory helps explain how the self influences interpersonal perceptions.
What are some guidelines for improving perception and communication?
1 - Recognize that all perceptions are partial and subjective
2 - Avoid Mind Reading
3 - Check perceptions with others
4 - Distinguish between facts and Inferences
5 - Guard against self- serving Bias
6 - Monitor Labels
Review why perceptions are partial and subjective
are partial because we cannot perceive everything; and they are subjective because they are influenced by factors such as culture, physiology, roles, standpoint, and cognitive abilities.
examplllllle : An outfit perceived as elegant by one person may appear cheap to another. A teacher one student regards as fascinating may put another student to sleep.
The subjective and partial nature of perceptions has implications for interpersonal communication. What are the 2 implications??
First one is… when you and another person disagree about something, neither of you is necessarily wrong. It’s more likely that you have attended to different things and that there are differences in your personal, social, cultural, cognitive, and physiological resources for perceiving.
YALL DISAGREE NUN OF YAAALLLS IS WRONG DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES YOOOO
Second one is…. that it’s wise to remind ourselves that our perceptions are based at least as much on ourselves as on anything external to us.
If you perceive another person as domineering, there’s a chance that you are feeling insecure in your ability to interact. If you perceive others as unfriendly toward you, it may be that you think of yourself as unworthy of friends.
SUMMARRRY NIGGAAA:
Remembering that perceptions are partial and subjective curbs the tendency to think that our perceptions are the only valid ones or that they are based exclusively on what lies outside of us
What is mind reading?
Is assuming we understand what another person thinks, feels, or perceives.
Examples:
One person says to her partner, “I know you didn’t plan anything for our anniversary because it’s not important to you.” A supervisor notices that an employee is late for work several days in a row and assumes the employee isn’t committed to the job. Gina is late meeting her friend Alex, who assumes she is late because Gina’s still mad about what happened. Alex is guessing reasons for Gina’s tardiness and could well be wrong.
OR MIKE MIND READING ME THINKING IM GOING TO EAT ALL OF HIS SNACKS BECAUSE I USE FOOD TO AVOID MY PROBLEMS
OR MIKE THINKING I DIDNT WANT TO WORK THERE, BUT IN REALITY I JUST DIDNT WANT TO BE AROUND HIM
More exampless Ivan :8 lols!! : “I know why you’re upset” (has the person said she or he is upset? What makes you think you know why he or she is upset, if he or she actually is?) or “You don’t care about me anymore”
SUMMARY BBAY GIGRL IVAN!! : When we mind read, we impose our perspectives on others instead of allowing them to say what they think.
Why is perception checking an important skill?
Perception checking is an important communication skill because it helps people arrive at mutual understandings of each other and their relationships.
What is the difference between a fact and an inference?
A fact is based on observation. An inference involves an interpretation that goes beyond the facts.
EXAMPLEE TIME!!! YAY!! : suppose that a person is consistently late reporting to work and sometimes dozes off during discussions. Coworkers might think, “That person is lazy and unmotivated.”
The FACTS!!! are that the person comes in late and sometimes falls asleep
. Defining the person as lazy and unmotivated is an INFERENCE that goes beyond the facts.
It’s possible that the coworker is tired because he or she has a second job or is taking medication that induces drowsiness??????
How to guard from fundamental attribution error?
Prompt yourself to look for external causes of others’ behaviors that you may not have thought of or appreciated.
“What factors in the person’s situation might lead to this behavior?”
Instead of letting yerself off the hookies ask yerself
“What factor inside of me that is my responsibility influenced what I did?”
SUMARRIES YAY!!! : Looking for external factors that influence others’ communication and internal factors that influence your own communication checks our tendency to make fundamental attribution errors.
How to guard from the self- serving bias?
Remember in self serving biassss you note what you do most and not others
SO LIKE WHAT JANET SAIDDDD FOR EXAMPUL:
For years, my husband and I have argued about housework. I am always criticizing him for not doing enough, and I have felt resentful about how much I do. He always says to me that he does a lot, but I just don’t notice. After studying the self-serving bias in class, I did an “experiment” at home. I watched him for a week and kept a list of all the things he did. Sure enough, he was—is—doing a lot more than I thought. I never noticed that he sorted laundry or walked the dog four times a day or wiped the kitchen counters after we’d finished fixing dinner. I noticed everything I did but only the big things he did, like vacuuming. I simply wasn’t seeing a lot of his contributions to keep our home in order.
See whether you attribute others’ successes and admirable actions to external factors beyond their control and their shortcomings and blunders to internal factors they can (should) control.
If you do this, substitute more generous explanations for others’ behaviors, and notice how that affects your perceptions of them.
Why should we monitor labels?
Once we label our perceptions, we may respond to our own labels rather than to actual phenomena.
FOR EXAMPLE:
Suppose you get together with five others in a study group, and a student named Andrea monopolizes the whole meeting with her questions and concerns. Leaving the meeting, one person says, “Gee, Andrea is so selfish and immature! I’ll never work with her again.” Another person responds, “She’s not really selfish. She’s just insecure about her grades in this course, so she was hyper in the meeting.” Chances are that these two people will perceive and treat Andrea differently depending on whether they’ve labeled her “selfish” or “insecure.” Once the two people have labeled Andrea’s behavior based on their subjective and partial perceptions, they may act toward Andrea based on their labels.
In regards to identities why should we monitor labels?
Because ppl get offended???
Ex: Chloe in class
FOR EXAMPLE:
Many adult females resent being called girls and prefer to be called women. Most gays and lesbians reject the label homosexual, and they may resent hearing themselves labeled as such. Many people who have disabilities feel that the term disabled people suggests that they are disabled as people simply because they have some physical or mental condition. They prefer to the term person with disabilities to the term disabled person
Words are symbols which are…
1 - Arbitrary
2- Ambiguous
3 - Abstract
What does it mean that symbols are arbitrary?
words are not intrinsically connected to what they mean
EX: The word book, for example, has no necessary or natural connection to what you are reading now. All symbols are arbitrary because we could easily use other symbols as long as we all agreed that certain symbols would refer to certain things.
BECOMES OBVIOUS WHEN WE DISCOVER WORDS DONT MEAN SAME THING IN OTHER CULTURES…
EX: is the dr pepper guy had to learn the hard way that when he advertised im a pepper in the uk, did not mean that i am a pepper, but it meant that i am a prostitute.
Arbitrary quality of language allows us to make up special words/ meanings to words… some examples
“fetch” = cool
“fugly”
nieces and nephews = “niblings”
Why are symbols ambiguous?
Symbols are not clear cut
EX: A good friend to one person is someone to hang with OR to another it is someone to confide in
EX: affordable clothes to people who earn minimum VS. who have cash
EX: dog may mean 4 legged friend OR 4 legged food
ETHAN : Manager wanted staff to be more personal w/ customers and each staff member took a different approach to doing it
Since symbols are ambiguous they can lead to
MISUNDERSTANDINGS
1 - with romantic partners
ex: wife asks husband to be more sensitive , but husband and wife have diff interpretations of being sensitive
2 - in work place ( Ethan)
ETHAN : Manager wanted staff to be more personal w/ customers and each staff member took a different approach to doing it
What does it mean since symbols are abstract?
Symbols are not concrete or tangible because words can stand for ideas, ppl, events, objects, feelings, and so forth.
What are two ways that confusion may occur because symbols are abstract?
1- Overly general language distorts how partners think about a relationship. They may make broad, negative statements, such as, “You so negative.” In most cases, such statements are over generalizations and hence not accurate. Yet, by symbolizing experience this way, partners frame how they think about it.
2 - Research shows that we are more likely to recall behaviors that are consistent with our labels for people than behaviors that are inconsistent (Fincham & Bradbury, 1987). When we say that a friend is always insensitive, we cue ourselves to remember all the occasions in which the friend was insensitive and to overlook times when she or he was sensitive. When we label a coworker uncooperative, we’re likely to notice uncooperative behaviors rather than cooperative ones.
How can you lessen the potential for misunderstandings due to abstract language?
Use specific language
Instead of saying, Don’t be so dominating SAY I wish you wouldn’t interrupt when I am talking
If language is symbolic, does that mean symbols are language?
Nope.
Language = Symbols, but not the other way
What are the 4 principals of verbal communication?
1 - Language and culture reflect each other
2 - The meanings of language are subjective
3 - Language use is rule guided
4 - Punctuation Shapes meaning
What are some examples of how language and culture reflect each other?
1 - Culture values reflected in calendars:
Dominant values of a culture are reflected in calendars, in which important days are named. Are Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Day, and Passover recognized on calendars? Are Kwanzaa, Saka, Seleicodae, Elderly Day, and Ramadan on the calendar?
2 - The cultures sayings:
Mexican proverb “He who lives a hurried life will soon die”?
In Africa, two popular adages are “The child has no owner,” and “It takes a whole village to raise a child,”
in China a common saying is “No need to know the person, only the family”
3 - Family verbs in America VS Japan:
English language has far fewer words to represent specific kinship bonds, which suggests that Western culture places less priority on ties beyond those in the immediate family.
Asian languages include specific words to describe numerous particular relationships, such as “my paternal grandfather’s sister,” “my mother’s uncle,” or “my youngest son.”
4 - Culture differences in language use
Americans = Speak their mind, direct
& Chinese do not like this
5 - Communication changes cultures
((A)) - Date rape was coined in the late 1980s. Although probably many women had been forced to have sex with their dates before that time, until the term was coined there was no way to describe such an occurrence as a violent and criminal act
((B)) - Language is a primary tool that social movements use to change cultural life and meanings.
Like malcolm x and martin king jr
What are some examples as to how the meaning of language is subjective?
Lets say someone tells you to “Get lost,” you have to think about the comment and the person who made it to decide whether it’s an insult, friendly needling, or a demand that you leave.
Maybe a joke from friend or Maybe criticism from employer
Self-esteem can have a play in how you interpret words as well
What are communication rules?
Are shared understandings of what communication means and what kinds of communication are appropriate in particular situations.
For example: For example, we understand that people take turns speaking, that flaming can get us kicked out of some chat rooms, and that we should speak softly in libraries.
What are regulative rules?
Specify when, where, and with whom to talk about certain things.
For instance, we understand that we can wear jeans and T-shirts to class, but that different clothes are generally appropriate in our workplaces. Some families have a rule that people cannot argue at the dinner table.
What are constitutive rules?
Specify how to interpret and perform different kinds of communication.
What are some examples of constitutive rules?
EXAMPLES: We learn what counts as respect (paying attention), friendliness (smiles or smiley emoticons in online communication), affection (kisses, hugs), and professionalism (punctuality, competence). We also learn what communication is expected if we want to be perceived as a good friend (showing support, being loyal), a responsible employee (meeting deadlines, making confident oral presentations), and a desirable romantic partner (showing respect and trust, being faithful, sharing confidences). We learn constitutive and regulative rules from particular others and the generalized other
What is the break down as to why communication is rule guided?
There communication rules
Under the communication rules we have:
Regulative rules & Constitutive rules
What is the difference between regulative rules and constitutive rules?
Regulative rules are the WHEN, the WHERE, with WHOM
and Constitutive is the HOW to interpret communication and how to perform it!!!!!
What is punctuation in interpersonal communication?
Punctuation defines beginnings and endings of interaction episodes.
Punctuation is defined when interaction begins and who starts it
What is the demand-withdrawal pattern in punctuation?
A common instance of conflicting punctuation
one person tries to create closeness with personal talk, and the other strives to maintain autonomy by avoiding intimate discussion (Figure 4.2). The more the first person pushes for personal talk (“Tell me what’s going on in your life”), the further the second withdraws (“There’s nothing to tell”).
“I pursue because you withdraw,” and the withdrawer thinks, “I withdraw because you pursue.”
What are the 5 symbolic abilities?
1 - Definition
2- Evaluation
3- Organization
4- Hypothetical Thought
5- Self-reflection
Why is definition so important?
We tend to perceive and interact with people according to how we define them.
How does language shape perception ( define)?
We label someone, we focus attention on particular aspects of that person and her or his activities, and we neglect or overlook other aspects of the person.
for example : a person as an environmentalist, a teacher, a gourmet cook, our boss, or a father. Each definition directs our attention to certain aspects of the person.
What is totalizing?
we respond to a person as if one label (one we have chosen or accepted from others) totally represents who he or she is.
EX: totalize gay men and lesbians as if sexual orientation were the only facet of their identities.
I know all about totalizing. A lot of people relate to me as black, like that’s all I am. Sometimes in classes, teachers ask me to explain the “African American perspective” on something, but they don’t ask me to explain my perspective as a premed major or a working student. I am an African American, but that’s not all I am.
What is the difference between totalizing and stereotyping?
stereotype someone, we define him or her in terms of characteristics of a group.
GROUP
When we totalize others, we negate most of who they are by focusing on a single aspect of their identity.
INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY
How does language shape and reflect relationships?
1 -The symbols we use to define experiences in our relationships affect how we think and feel about those relationships.
2 - The language we use to think about relationships affects what happens in them.
for ex: Couples in satisfying relationships rely more on
“we” language when discussing problems, whereas partners in distressed relationships rely more on “I” pronouns
Explain why language evaluates
Language is laden with values, it isn’t neutral or objective. The particular words that we use shape our perceptions and those of others.
Since language evaluates, explain how language reflects and shapes perception
We tend to describe people we like with language that accents their good qualities and downplays their flaws.
example: “tender London broil gently sautéed in natural juices and topped with succulent mushrooms” sounds more appetizing than one described as “cow cooked in blood and topped with fungus.”
individual word comes with character or individual signature frequency which helps evaluate
What is loaded language?
Loaded language refers to words that strongly slant perceptions and thus meanings.
ex: Terms such as geezer and old fogey incline us to regard older people with contempt or pity. Alternatives such as senior citizen and older person reflect more respectful attitudes.
What is hate speech?
Is language that radically dehumanizes members of particular groups.
ex: niggers and faggots.
Explain how language organizes perception
The meaning of words varies depending on how we organize our perceptions of words and those who speak them.
For example, your prototype of a friend affects how you judge particular friends. When we place someone in the category friend, the category influences how we interpret the person and his or her communication. An insult is likely to be viewed as teasing if made by a friend but a call to battle if made by an enemy.
What are the 2 ways language organizes perception?
Language allows abstract thought
FOR EXAMPLE: The organizational quality of language also allows us to think about abstract concepts, such as justice, integrity, and healthy family life. We think in general terms.
Language can stereotype
Since language allows hypothetical thought, what does this mean
We can think hypothetically, we can plan, dream, remember, set goals, consider alternative courses of action, and imagine possibilities.
1 - We Can Think Beyond Immediate, Concrete Situations
2 - We live in 3 dimensions of time… Past, Present, Future
self having an experience through the time program
3 - We can foster Personal Growth
Example: Thinking hypothetically helps us grow personally.
self-improvement. If you want to become more outgoing, you imagine yourself talking easily to others, going to parties, and so forth.
Since language allows for self-reflection… what does this also allow us to do?
1- Monitor Communication
yourself, “Gee, I’ve been talking nonstop about me and my worries, and I haven’t even asked how she’s doing.”
2- Manage Image
Because we reflect on ourselves from social perspectives, we are able to adapt our communication so that we appear positively in others’ eyes.
According to Mead 1934 what are the 2 aspects of self
the I, which is the spontaneous, creative self. The I acts impulsively in response to inner needs and desires, regardless of social norms. The Me is the socially conscious part of the self that monitors and moderates the I’s impulses.
EX:
your I may want to hurl a biting insult at someone you
don’t like, but your Me censors that impulse and reminds you that it’s impolite to put others down.
What is a speech community?
When people share norms about how to use talk and what purposes it serves
defined not by countries or geographic locations but by shared understandings of how to communicate.
For example, African American scholars report that African Americans generally communicate more assertively and place greater emphasis on verbal wit than most European Americans.
Why is socialization important to understand in gender speech communities
One of the earliest studies showed that children’s games are a primary agent of gender socialization. Interaction in games teaches boys and girls distinct understandings of why, when, and how to use talk.
Research on women’s and men’s communication reveals that the communication rules learned in childhood play are carried forward into our adult interactions.
Gendered communication examples
For instance, women’s talk generally is more expressive and focused on feelings and personal issues, whereas men’s talk tends to be more instrumental and competitive
Do misunderstandings between Gender Speech Communities happen?
Misunderstandings between Gender Speech Communities do happen
A common misunderstanding occurs when a woman says, “Let’s talk about us.” To many men, this often means trouble because they interpret the request as implying that there is a problem in the relationship.
What are the 4 guidelines for improving verbal communication?
1 - Engaging in Dual Perspective
2- Owning your own thoughts and feelings
3- Respect what others say and their feelings
4- Strive for accuracy and clarity
What is dual perspective?
This involves being person-centered so that you recognize another’s perspective and take it into account as you communicate.
What is I Language?
I language owns thoughts and feelings and does not blame them on others.
What are some examples: I feel ____ when
I feel ___ when , When you watch me work I feel ___
What is you language?
you language projects thoughts and feelings onto another person.
What is indexing?
Indexing is a technique developed by early communication scholars to remind us that our evaluations apply only to specific times and circumstances
To index, we would say “AnnJune 6, 2001 acted selfishly,” “Donon the task committee was irresponsible,” “Bobin college was generous,” and “Vyin high school was dependent on others for self-esteem.”
n.
What are the 2 ways you can strive for accuracy and clarity?
1 - Being aware of levels of abstraction
2 - Qualify Language
What is static evaluation?
A static evaluation is an assessment that suggests that something is unchanging or fixed.
EXAMPLE: people: “Ann is selfish,” “Don is irresponsible,” “Bob is generous,” “Vy is dependent.” Whenever we use the word is, we suggest that something is inherent and fixed. In reality, we aren’t static but continuously changing. A person who is selfish at one time may not be at another. A person who is irresponsible on one occasion may be responsible in other situations.
What is linguistic determinism?
Linguistic determinism, which states that language determines what we can perceive and think
According to this theory, we cannot perceive or think about things for which we don’t have names.
- Symbols are: a. Ambiguous b. Arbitrary c. Abstract d. All of the above
ALL OF THE ABOVE
- ________________ rules specify when, how, where, and with whom we can communicate about particular topics.
REGULATIVE
- Which of the following is NOT a symbolic ability?
a. Self-reflection b. Hypothetical thought
c. Abstract thought d. Linguistic determinism
LINGUISTIC DETERMINISM
- After his supervisor reprimands Abe for being late to work multiple times, Abe says of his supervisor, “She makes me feel worthless.”
Abe has used: a. I language
b. You language
c. Loaded language
d. Totalizing language
YOU LANGUAGE
________________ defines beginnings and endings of interaction.
Punctuation
What is nonverbal communication?
All aspects of communication other than words. It includes not only gestures and body language but also how we utter words: inflection, pauses, tone, volume, and accent.
.
- Which of the following is true of nonverbal communication? a. It is nonsymbolic.
b. It is rule-guided.
c. It is more accurate than verbal communication.
d. It is usually unintentional.
B. IT IS RULE REGULATED
- _______________ is behaviors that increase perceived closeness between communicators.
IMMEDIACY
- Which of the following is (are) dimensions of the relationship level of meaning?
a. Responsiveness
b. Liking
c. Power
d. All of the above
ALL OF EM
- The technical word for body position and motion is _______________.
Kinesics
- A tattoo, a briefcase, and a bracelet are all examples of _______________.
Artifacts
What is immediacy?
immediacy, which is behavior that increases perceptions of closeness between communicators.
How is non-verbal communication similar to verbal communication?
Nonverbal communication is similar to verbal communication in four respects: it is symbolic it is rule-guided it may be intentional or unintentional it reflects culture.
What is kinesics?
to body position and body motions, including those of the face.
EXAMPLE: Clearly, we signal a great deal about how we feel and see ourselves by how we hold our bodies. Someone who stands erectly and walks confidently is likely to be perceived as self-assured, whereas someone who slouches and shuffles may be seen as lacking confidence.
What is haptics?
Haptics is the sense of touch.
What are artifacts?
Artifacts are personal objects we use to announce our identities and heritage and to personalize our environments.
EXAMPLE: objects we use to announce our identities and heritage and to personalize our environments. Many people use avatars to symbolize identities in online communication. In face-to-face communication, we craft our image by how we dress and what objects we carry and use. Nurses and physicians wear white and often drape stethoscopes around their necks; professors travel with briefcases, whereas students more often tote backpacks. White-collar professionals tend to wear tailored outfits and dress shoes, whereas blue-collar workers more often dress in jeans or uniforms and boots.
.
What is Proxemics?
Proxemics refers to space and how we use it
What is Chronemics?
Chronemics refers to how we perceive and use time to define identities and interaction.
In Western culture, there is a norm that important people with high status can keep others waiting (Hickson et al., 2004). Conversely, people with low status are expected to be punctual. It is standard practice to have to wait, sometimes a good while, to see a physician or attorney, even if you have an appointment. This conveys the message that the physician’s time is more valuable than yours.
- Name the three processes involved in human perception.
SELECTION, ORGANIZATION, INTERPRETATION
- You rely on a ______________________ when you interpret a person as being smart–not smart.
Personal Construct
- Your most representative example of a category is called a(n) ______________________.
Prototype
- Which of the following is NOT a dimension of attributions?
a. Locus b. Stability c. Specificity d. Honesty
HONESTY
The ______________________is the tendency to overestimate the internal causes for bad behavior by others.
Fundamental Attribution Error
The ______________________is the tendency to overestimate the internal causes for bad behavior by others.
Fundamental Attribution Error
- A father says to his son, “You are very smart.” This is an example of:
Direct Definition
Before going to a job interview, Jay says to himself, “I know I won’t get this job because I don’t interview well. I will freeze up and give stupid answers.” During the interview, Jay hears the first question and assumes he won’t answer it well, so he mutters, “I’m not sure.” This is an example of:
Self-fulfilling prophecy
- The _____________ refers to the views of society as a whole.
Generalized Other
- _____________ define(s) where an individual stops and the rest of the world begins.
Ego Boundary
- Elliott discovers that all of his friends scored lower on an exam than he did, and Elliott concludes that he is really smart. His conclusion is based on:
a. Reflected appraisal
b. Identity script
c. Social comparison
d. Self-fulfilling prophecy
Social Comparison
What is generalized other?
AKA called broadly held social views the perspectives of the generalized other… Every society and social group has values, experiences, and understandings that are widely shared
What is self-sabotage?
self-sabotage. This involves telling ourselves we are no good, we can’t do something, there’s no point in trying to change, and so forth. We may be repeating judgments others have made of us, or we may be inventing our own negative self-fulfilling prophecies.
What is social comparison?
Social comparison is the process of assessing ourselves in relation to others to form judgments of our own talents, abilities, qualities, and so forth.
What is the difference between social comparison and reflected appraisal?
Whereas reflected appraisals are based on how we think others view us, social comparisons are our own use of others as measuring sticks for ourselves.
- Communication includes ________________ and ________________ levels of meaning.
Content and Relationship
- Which of the following is not included in the transactional model of communication?
a. Noise
b. Sender
c. Social systems
d. Time
Sender because the transactional model includes communicators who both send and receive messages
- Best friends who talk with each other about their lives and know each other in great depth exemplify:
a. I–You communication
b. I–It communication
c. I–Me communication
d. I–Thou communication
I - THOU
- Ed doesn’t reply when his roommate speaks to him and seems very preoccupied. His roommate says, “Hey, Ed, you’re not very responsive. Are you okay?” The roommate’s comment is an example of:
a. Metacommunication
b. Symbolic management
c. Systemic communication
d. I–It communication
METACOMMUNICATION
- Chris attends the first meeting of Students for a Cleaner Environment. Because she is so interested in environmental issues, she offers a number of comments and suggestions during the opening discussion. Then Chris realizes that others aren’t speaking up and she says to herself, “I’d better hold it down a bit and say less or others may think I’m trying to monopolize the conversation.” Chris has engaged in:
a. Symbolic management
b. Content level of meaning
c. Monitoring
d. Linear communication
MONITORING
What is a model?
A representation of a phenomenon. Models often show how a phenomenon works.
What is feedback?
Response to a message
What was I-it communication?
we do not acknowledge the humanity of other people; we may not even affirm their existence. Salespeople, servers in restaurants, and clerical staff often are treated not as people but as instruments to take our orders and deliver what we want. In the extreme form of I–It relationships, others are not even acknowledged. When a homeless person asks for money for food, some people look away as if the person weren’t there.
.
What is I-you communication?
Which accounts for the majority of our interactions. People acknowledge one another as more than objects, but they don’t fully engage each other as unique individuals.
What is I-thou communication?
I–Thou communication. Buber regarded this as the highest form of human dialogue, because each person affirms the other as cherished and unique.
What is interpersonal communication?
can define interpersonal communication as selective, systemic, individual, processual (is an ongoing process) transactions that allow people to reflect and build personal knowledge of one another and create shared meanings.
What is systemic?
also systemic, which means that it takes place within various systems.
What does process mean?
This means, first, that communication evolves over time, becoming more personal as people interact.
What is ethics?
Ethics is the branch of philosophy that focuses on moral principles and codes of conduct.
What is metacommunication?
Thus, metacommunication is communication about communication.
For example, during a conversation with your friend Pat, you notice that Pat’s body seems tense and her voice is sharp. You might say, “You seem really stressed.” Your statement is metacommunication because it communicates about Pat’s nonverbal communication. Metacommunication may be verbal or nonverbal. We can use words to talk about other words or nonverbal behaviors. If an argument between Joe and Marc gets out of hand, and Joe makes a nasty personal attack, Joe might later say, “I didn’t really mean what I just said. I was just so angry it came out.”
What is interpersonal communication competence?
the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately.
What is person-centeredness?
Term person-centeredness to refer to the ability to adapt messages effectively to particular people
What is dual perspective?
dual perspective, which is understanding both our own and another person’s perspective,
What is monitoring?
is the capacity to observe and regulate your own communication.
- Which of the following is not included in the Chinese character for effective listening? a. Ears b. Eyes c. Mind d. Heart
MIND
- _______________ is the process of physically receiving messages.
HEARING
- Perceiving personal attacks and criticism in neutral or positive messages is: a. Ambushing b. Defensive listening c. Selective listening d. Intentional listening
DEFENSIVE LISTENING
- _______________ is listening only to the content or denotative meaning.
SELECTIVE LISTENING
- While Jed is speaking, Elizabeth nods, says “Mm-hmm,” “Go on,” and “Really?” Elizabeth is using _______________ to show she is interested in what Jed is saying.
Minimal encourages
What is ambushing?
Ambushing is listening carefully for the purpose of attacking a speaker.
What is defensive listening?
which is perceiving personal attacks, criticism, or hostility in communication that is not critical or mean-spirited. When we listen defensively, we assume others don’t like, trust, or respect us, and we read these motives into whatever they say, no matter how innocent their communication may be.
What is selective listening?
is selective listening, which involves focusing only on particular parts of communication.
What is monopolizing?
Monopolizing is continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of listening to the person who is talking.
For example, Ellen tells her friend Marla that she’s having trouble with her roommate, and Marla reroutes the conversation with this response: “I know what you mean. My roommate is a real slob. And that’s just one of her problems! Let me tell you what I have to live with . . .” Rerouting takes the conversation away from the person who is talking and
What is pseudolistening?
Pretending to listen
What is remembering?
is remembering, which is the process of retaining what you have heard.
What is responding?
Communicating attention and interest.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is being fully present in the moment.
What is hearing?
Hearing is a physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums.
What is listening?
Listening as an active, complex process that consists
1- of being mindful;
2- physically receiving messages, selecting and
3- organizing messages; interpreting messages;
4- responding; and remembering.
What is the difference between listening and hearing?
that listening is an active process, which means we must exert effort to listen well.
Whereas
different. Hearing is a physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums.
What is literal listening?
is literal listening, which involves listening only for content and ignoring the relationship level of meaning.
others. When we listen literally, we don’t make the effort to understand how others feel about what they say or to endorse them as people.
FOR EXAMPLE: LINDSAY When I found out I had to have wrist surgery, I told my boss and said I’d be needing some time off. He listened and then explained the policy on sick leave. He didn’t say he was sorry, ask if I was worried, tell me he hoped the surgery was successful, nothing.
What is listening for pleasure?
Exactly what the title states…
listening for pleasure. We listen to music for pleasure. We may listen to some radio programs for enjoyment.
What is listening for information?
listening for information. At such times, our goal is to gain and evaluate information.
What is listening to support others?
listening, listening to support others, when we listen to a friend’s worries, hear a romantic partner discuss our relationship, or help a coworker sort through a problem
What is paraphrasing?
Paraphrasing is a method of clarifying others’ meaning or needs by reflecting our interpretations of their communication back to them. For example, a friend might confide, “I think my kid brother is messing around with drugs.” We could paraphrase this way: “So you’re really worried that your brother’s experimenting with drugs.”
What are minimal encouragers?
Minimal encouragers, which gently invite others to elaborate by expressing interest in hearing more. Examples of minimal encouragers are “Tell me more,” “Really?” “Go on,” “I’m with you,” “Then what happened?” and “I see.”
CAN ALSO BE NONVERBAL TOO
What are the 4 ways nonverbal communication + verbal communication are similar?
respects: it is symbolic, it is rule-guided, it may be intentional or unintentional, and it reflects culture.
What are the 3 differences between nonverbal + verbal communication?
1 - Nonverbal = Believable
reliable in expressing true feelings
2 - Nonverbal = Multichanneled
voice = heard nonverbal = see, sense, smell, taste, touch.. etc.
3 - Nonverbal is continuous
What are the 4 principals of nonverbal communication?
1 - Nonverbal communication may supplement or replace verbal communication
2 - Nonverbal communication may regulate interaction
3 - Nonverbal communication often establishes relationship-level meanings
4 - Nonverbal communication reflects and expresses cultural values
What are some examples of how how Nonverbal communication may supplement or replace verbal communication?
messages. For example, you might say “yes” while nodding your head. Second, nonverbal behaviors may highlight verbal communication. For instance, you can emphasize particular words by increasing your volume. Third, we use nonverbal behavior to complement or add to words. When you see a friend, you might say, “I’m glad to see you” and underline the verbal message with a warm embrace.
Explain Nonverbal communication may regulate interaction
nonverbal behaviors regulate the flow of communication between people
When talking, friends typically don’t say, “Your turn to talk,” or hold up signs saying “I have finished speaking.” Instead, turn-taking in conversation usually is regulated nonverbally.
What are the 3 relationship level meanings that are established by nonverbal communication?
1 - Responsiveness
key to it is immediacy
2 - Liking
3 - Power
We use nonverbal behaviors to assert dominance and to negotiate for status and influence
