Interpersonal Conflicts Flashcards
1) incapable goals:
Goals inconsistent. Win-lose: almost always we approve conflict we don’t want to be considered a loser.
All conflicts look as if one party’s gain would be another’s loss.
Scarce resources.
Conflicts also exist when ppl believe there isn’t enough of something to go around.
EX: money and time
Interdependent
You need each other to have a conflict.
Interfere-
If you get your way I am not going mine.
Benefits of working through conflict.
Makes the relationship stronger
Conflict styles.
Avoiding: (lose -lose): occurs when ppl non assertively ignore or stay away from conflict
Accommodating: (loser-win) occurs why you allow other to have their way rather than asserting your own point of view.
Competing: (win-lose) to conflicts involves high concerns for self and low concerns for others :either I get what you want or you get what you want.
Direct aggression: occurs when a communicator expresses a critism or demand that threatens the face of the person.
Passive aggression: communicator expresses hostility an obscure or manipulative way. It’s what you don’t do.
Compromising : ( partial lose-lose) both sacrifice part of their goals. It’s leaves ppl always losing something.
Callaborating: ( win win) rather than trying to solve problem “my way” or “your way” their faces is “our way” everybody gets what they want.
Indirect communication: when we convey messages indirect “you tell your daughter in law about your daughter”
Assertion: assertive your ideas opinions “ I language” “I’ve been thinking about”
Methods of resolving conflict
1) win/lose: either I win or either I lose
2) lose/lose: if don’t get what I want nobody gets it
3) comprises: I’m going to get a lil of what I want and you’ll get a lil of what it want
4) collaboration: what works for us.
Parallel conflict style
Both partners shift between complentary to symme tic from one issues to another
Expressed struggle
A conflict con only exit. When both parties are aware of disagreements.
Conflict is natural
Every relationships of depth at all has conflict. There will be times when your ideas or actions or needs or goals
It can happen in families
Effective communication during conflicts can keep a strong relationship.
Conflict in relational systems.
It’s character usually is determine by the way parties interact with each other.
Complementary conflict styles.
Partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors
Fight fight styles is common in many unhappy marriages.
It’s a cycle. Wife nags at husband, husband withdraws because wife nags
Symmetrical conflicts style
Both partners use the same behavior.
Treat each other with matching hostility.
Parties withdraw instead of facing their problem
Destructive conflict patterns
Horse of the apocalypse
1) criticism: these are attack on a persons character.
2) defensiveness: reaction that aims to protect ones presenting self by denying responsibility
3) contempt: comment belittles and demands.
4) stone walling: occurs when one person withdraws from interaction.
Conflict rituals
Sometimes in relationship conflict rituals usually unacknowdge but very real patterns of interesting behavior.
Rituals can cause problems. It can become the only way relational partner handle their conflicts.
Variables in conflict styles.
Gender- men and woman approach conflicts differently.
Males attend to be more aggressive and demanding. Men are concern with power.
Females are cooperative. And they gossip
Effective way interpersonal conflict
1) identity and define the conflict.
2) generate the number of possible solutions.
3) evaluate the alternative solution. Talk what will work and what won’t.
4) decide on the best solution.
Follow up the solution. You might have to make some changes.
What is conflict?
Expressed struggle between at least two interdependent who perceive has to know there’s a conflict.
