Imaginary Invalid

Question 1

Master- Did you know there is a duck on your head?

Answer 1

Yes of course I know there’s a duck on my head! What do I look like, an idiot? Dr. Purgon suggested I wear it to help ward off avian flu.

Question 2

What kind of quackery is that?

Answer 2

Quackery, is it? I suppose you think you’re more learned than Dr. Purgon. Can you cure pickled blood, bone fever or any other malady?

Question 3

Don’t you mean mallard-dy? Mallard… It’s a type of duck…

Answer 3

Oh, that is funny. I see why I should listen to you over Purgon. He’s only a respected doctor. You’re a joke.

Question 4

They say laughter is the best medicine.

Answer 4

It’s not. Lemonade sitz baths are. So you should keep your jokes to yourself and just do
as you’re told. When you get your degree then you can open your mouth with your biting wit and even start charging for it.

Question 5

I would never charge you.

Answer 5

Thank you.

Question 6

I’d just put it on your bill.

Answer 6

I am expecting Mr. D and his son. Have they arrived?

Question 7

Monsieur, I’ve been sent by your daughter’s music teacher. He was obliged to go to the
country for a few days and has asked me to give Mademoiselle Angelique her music lesson in his place.

Answer 7

Excellent. I look forward to hearing it.
Call Angelique

Question 8

Master, I think it might be best to take the gentleman to her room.

Answer 8

I don’t care what you think. Bring her here.

Question 9

He can not give her a good lesson if they are not left alone.

Answer 9

He better hope he can, as he will give her the lesson not only in front of me, but in front of
our guests, as well. It’s a perfect opportunity to show off Angelique’s beautiful voice for her groom to be.

You’ll have no trouble teaching her in our presence, I trust.

Question 10

But she was so upset earlier-

Answer 10

Nonsense! You think I don’t know my own daughter? Nothing gives her joy like her
music class. The way that nothing gives you joy like debating me on every single thing.

Here she comes now.

You shall see.

And since I no longer need you to find her, perhaps you can without argument check on the whereabouts of our guests. Now!

Question 11

Scene 4 starts (Angelique enters)

Answer 11

Angelique, your music teacher has gone off to the country for a few days so he has sent
this gentleman in his place.

Question 12

It’s you! I can’t believe you’re here! This is so amazing!

Answer 12

I told you! She loves her music class.

Question 13

Merde Missile! Father, I’d rather do my studies in private.

Answer 13

And I’d rather you didn’t. I’d like young Thomas to see just how extraordinary a girl you
are.

My daughter, you see, is to be married tomorrow.

Question 14

She is to make someone a very lucky man.

Answer 14

They both are lucky for he is a wonderful match. He is a doctor and the nephew of my
own physician, who I needn’t tell you is quite extraordinary.

Question 15

You needn’t tell anyone that. He makes you wear a duck on your head, who would believe
it?

Answer 15

Please inform the music master, if he has returned to town, he is invited to the wedding.
As are you, if you are inclined to attend.

Question 16

There is nothing I’d like to see more than your daughter marry the man she loves… Plays piano

Answer 16

I’ve heard enough!

I don’t like this operetta after all

Question 17

Was it my performance?

Answer 17

No my dear, your performance was lovely, but the writing seemed completely
unbelievable. That a daughter would be so disobedient to her father so as to plan to run away and marry someone else against his wishes, it’s absolutely absurd.

In any case, thank you Monsieur for your time.

Question 18

You may also want to study-

Answer 18

Enough! That’s plenty of homework for her. Just memorizing the titles seems a dreadful
task.

Question 19

Father, if I may, I’d like to walk him out.

Answer 19

You may not. We have guests. One of whom has asked you a question to which you owe
an answer.