How to Win Friends and Influence People

Question 1

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the ______ and usually makes him strive to ____ himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses _______.

Answer 1

*defensive *justify *resentment.

Question 2

Studies have shown that an animal rewarded for _____ behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. Later studies have shown that the same applies to ______. By criticising, we do not make lasting ______ and often incur resentment.

Answer 2

*good *humans. *changes

Question 3

It’s in human nature for wrongdoers to blame ______ but _______

Answer 3

*everyone *themselves

Question 4

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of ______. We are dealing with creatures of ______, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by _____ and _____.

Answer 4

*logic *emotion *pride *vanity.

Question 5

Any fool can criticise and complain, but it takes ______
and ______ to be understanding and forgiving.
“A great man shows his ______ by the way he _____ little men.”

Answer 5

*character *self-control *greatness *treats

Question 6

God himself does not propose to judge man until the end of his days, why should you and I?
PRINCIPLE 1: _____________

Answer 6

Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.

Question 7

There is only one good way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything, and that is by making the other person ___________.

Answer 7

Want to do it.

Question 8

Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs from two motives: the ______ and the desire to be ______ and _______.

Answer 8

*sex urge *great *important.

Question 9

The deepest principle in human nature is the ______ to be ______. People crave _______ as much as they crave food.

Answer 9

*craving *appreciated. *appreciation.

Question 10

If humans didn’t have the flaming urge for a feeling of _________, we would have been just like ______.

Answer 10

*importance *animals.

Question 11

Important quote by Charles Schwab “I consider my ability to ______ ________ among my people the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in the person is by ________ and ________.”

Answer 11

*arouse enthusiasm *appreciation *encouragement.

Question 12

“Flattery is somebody telling the other person precisely what he _____ about ______”.

Answer 12

*thinks *himself.

Question 13

Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of ______ on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of _______ that will be rose beacons on your next visit.

Answer 13

*gratitude *friendship

Question 14

Emerson said “Every man I meet is my ______ in some way, in that, I _____ of him.”

Answer 14

*superior *learn

Question 15

Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget ______. Give honest, sincere ________. Be “hearty in your approbation and _____ in your praise.” and people will cherish your words and treasure and repeat them over a lifetime - repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
PRINCIPLE 2: _______________

Answer 15

• flattery *appreciation *lavish

* Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Question 16

Everybody only cares about what they ______. The only way on earth to influence people is to talk about what they ______ and show them how to ____ ___.

Answer 16

*want x2 *get it.

Question 17

The best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders is: First, ______ in the other person an _____ ____. He who can do this has the _____ _____ with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.

Answer 17

*arouse *eager want. *whole world

Question 18

Tomorrow you may want somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I..”

Answer 18

”..make this person want to do it?”

Question 19

One of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships. Henry Ford said “If there is any one secret of ________ , it lies in the ability to get the other person’s ____ __ ____ and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

Answer 19

*success *point of view

Question 20

Thousands of salesman are struggling because they don’t realise that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But if salesmen can show us how their service or product will solve our problems, they won’t need to ____ __. We’ll ___. And customers like to feel that they are ______ - not being ____.

Answer 20

*sell us. *buy. *buying *sold.

Question 21

The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who ________ tries to ____ others has an enormous ______. He has little competition. “People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the _____ has in store for them.”

Answer 21

*unselfishly *serve *advantage *future

Question 22

Most people go through college and master the mysteries of calculus without ever _______ how their ___ _____ function.

Answer 22

*discovering *own minds

Question 23

William Winter once remarked that “_____-______ is the dominant necessity of human nature”. Why can’t we adapt this same psychology to business dealings? When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them ____ and _____ the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.

Answer 23

*self-expression *cook and *stir

Question 24

In a nutshell
FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
PRINCIPLE 1
Don't..
PRINCIPLE 2
Give..
PRINCIPLE 3
Arouse..

Answer 24

1. Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Question 25

You can make more friends in ___ _______ by becoming ______ ________ in other people than you can in ___ ______ by trying to get other people ________ in you.

Answer 25

*two months *genuinely interested *two years *interested

Question 26

Alfred Adler, a Viennese psychologist said “It is the individual who is not interested in his ______ ___ who has the greatest _______ in life and provides the greatest _____ to others. It is from among such individuals that all human ______ spring.”

Answer 26

*fellow men *difficulties *injury *failures

Question 27

I have discovered from personal experience that one can win the _______ and ____ and _______ of even the most _____-_____ people by becoming _______ _________ in them. All of us, be we workers in a factory, clerks in an office or even a king upon his throne - all of us ____ people who ______ us.

Answer 27

*attention and *time and *cooperation *sought-after *genuinely interested *like *admire

Question 28

If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people - things that require _____, ______, ________, ________ (as long as we can afford it and are not disadvantaged).

Answer 28

time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness

Question 29

If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with _______ and ________. Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its ______ a ______ to your _______.

Answer 29

*animation and *enthusiasm. *customers *loyalty *company.

Question 30

“We are ______ in others when they are ______ in us.”
If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind:
PRINCIPLE 4: ________________.

Answer 30

*interested x2

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Question 31

The ________ one wears on one’s _____ is far more important than the ______ one wears on one’s back.

Answer 31

*expression *face *clothes

Question 32

Actions speak louder than words, and a ____ says, “I like you, you make me _____. I am glad to see you.” That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect.

Answer 32

*smile *happy

Question 33

An ________ ____? No. That doesn’t fool anybody. We know it is ________ and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a __________ smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the __________.

Answer 33

*insincere grin? *mechanical *heartwarming *marketplace.

Question 34

You must have a _____ _____ meeting people if you expect them to have a ____ ____ meeting you.

Answer 34

good time x2

Question 35

“I soon found that everybody was smiling back at me, I treat those who come to me with complaints or grievances in a ______ manner, I smile as I listen to them and I find that ________ are __________ much easier. I find that smiles are bringing me _____, many ______ every day.”

Answer 35

*cheerful *adjustments are *accomplished *dollars x2

Question 36

“There is nothing either good or bad, but _____ makes it so,” said Shakespeare. E.g. you fail your driver’s licence, but instead of thinking damn I failed, think “Oh yes, I learnt a new thing and how to perform better under pressure for next time!”

Answer 36

thinking

Question 37

Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head ____, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being ___________ and do not waste a minute thinking
about your enemies.

Answer 37

*high *misunderstood

Question 38

Keep your mind on the great and splendid things
you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself ________ seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the _______ of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the
thought you hold is hourly ______ you into that particular individual.

Answer 38

*unconsciously *fulfillment *transforming

Question 39

Chinese proverb: “A man without a smiling face must not ____ a ____”.

PRINCIPLE 5: ____.

Answer 39

• open a shop

* Smile.

Question 40

Remember a person’s name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective _______. But forget it or misspell - and you have placed yourself at a sharp ________. The policy of ________ and _______ the names of his friends and business associates was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie’s _______.

Answer 40

*compliment. *disadvantage. *remembering and honoring *leadership.

Question 41

Most people don’t _______ names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining ____ ___ was by _______ ______ and making people feel important- yet how many of us do it? Stick out of the crowd.

Answer 41

*remember *good will *remembering names

Question 42

Remembering names and all this takes time, but as Emerson said “Good manners, are made up of ____ ______.”

PRINCIPLE 6: _______________.

Answer 42

• petty sacrifices.

* Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Question 43

“All she wanted was an interested listener about her trip to Africa, so she could expand her ego and tell about where she had been. Was she unusual?” __. _____ ______ ___ _____ _____.

Answer 43

No. Many people are like that.

Question 44

Listen and be genuinely interested, and people will ____ it and be _______, because that kind of listening is one of the ______ ________ we can pay anyone.

Answer 44

*feel *pleased. *highest compliments.

Question 45

What’s the secret of a successful business interview? “There is no mystery about successful business intercourse..Exclusive _______ to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.”

Answer 45

attention

Question 46

Many people fail to make a favourable ________ because they don’t ______ ________. They’re so concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open. Very important people have said they prefer good _______ to good talkers.

Answer 46

*impression *listen attentively. *listeners

Question 47

PRINCIPLE 7: _______________.

Answer 47

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Question 48

Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, ______ up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested. For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the _____ ____ to a person’s ____ is to talk about the things he or she ________ _____.

Answer 48

*reading *royal road *heart *treasures most.

Question 49

PRINCIPLE 8: _______________.

Answer 49

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests e.g. with customers.

Question 50

There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break it, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: _________________.

Answer 50

Always make the other person feel important.

Question 51

Most important rule of human relations was said by Jesus: “_________________________________”

Answer 51

“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

Question 52

“Each person I face is equally as ________ as me”

The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves ______ to you in some way, and a sure way to their _____ is to let them realise in some subtle way that you _______ their _______, and recognise it sincerely.

Answer 52

*important *superior *hearts *recognise *importance

Question 53

“Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.”

PRINCIPLE 9: __________________.

Answer 53

Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Question 54

In a nutshell
SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU 
PRINCIPLE 4:
 Become genuinely..
PRINCIPLE 5:
S..
PRINCIPLE 6:
Remember that..
PRINCIPLE 7:
Be a good..
PRINCIPLE 8:
Talk in terms of..
PRINCIPLE 9:
Make the other person feel..

Answer 54

4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themelves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Question 55

Why prove to a man he is _____? Is that going to make him ____ ___? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him?

Answer 55

*wrong? *like you?

Question 56

I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under the high heaven to get the best of an argument - and that is to _____ it. Avoid it as you would avoid _________ and ________. Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly _______ than ever that he is absolutely _____.

Answer 56

*avoid *rattlesnakes and earthquakes. *convinced *right.

Question 57

You can’t win an ________. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you ____ it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You made him feel ______. You have hurt his _____. He will ______ your triumph and - A man convinced against his will is of the same ______ still.

Answer 57

*argument. *lose *inferior. *pride. *resent *opinion

Question 58

If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory ________; but it will be an _____ victory because you will never get your opponent’s _____ ____.
So figure it out for yourself. Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory or a person’s good will?You can seldom have ____.

Answer 58

*sometimes *empty *good will. *both.

Question 59

You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument; but as far as changing another’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as _________________________ as if you were wrong.

Answer 59

incapable of producing any useful result

Question 60

How to prevent a disagreement from becoming an argument:

1. Welcome the ________
2. Distrust your first instinctive ________ - don’t become ________
3. Control your ______
4. Listen to the other person explain first
5. Look for areas of ________
6. Be honest if you are wrong and ________
7. Study what the other person said
8. If you are right, can you let it blow over without having to tell the person they are wrong? What price will I have to pay if I ___?

Answer 60

*disagreement *impression *defensive *temper *agreement *apologise *win

Question 61

PRINCIPLE 10: ____________________.

Answer 61

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Question 62

You can tell people they are _____ by a look or an intonation or a gesture just as eloquently as you can in words - and if you tell them they are wrong, do you make them want to agree with you? _____ For you have struck a direct blow at their ________, ________, _____ and ____-______. That will make them want to _____ back. But it will never make them want to change their minds. You may then hurl at them all the _____ of a Plato, but you will not alter their ______, for you have hurt their feelings.

Answer 62

*wrong *Never! *intelligence, *judgement, *pride and *self-respect. *strike logicopinions

Question 63

Never begin by announcing “I am going to prove so-and-so to you.” That’s bad. That’s tantamount to saying: “I’m smarter than you are, I’m going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your mind.” That is a challenge. It arouses ________ and makes the listener want to _____ with you before you even start.

Answer 63

*opposition *battle

Question 64

If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so _____, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it. This was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope:
Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.
Over three hundred years ago Galileo said:
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to _____ __ ______ ________.
As Lord Chesterfield said to his son:
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not ____ them so.
Socrates said repeatedly to his followers in Athens:
One thing only I know, and that is that I know _______.

Answer 64

*subtly *find it within himself. *tell *nothing.

Question 65

There’s magic, positive magic, in such phrases as: “I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.
You will never get into _______ by _______ that you may be wrong. That will stop all _______ and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and ____-_______ as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be ________.

Answer 65

*trouble *admitting *argument *broad-minded *wrong.

Question 66

When we are wrong, we may admit it to _______. And if we are handled _______ and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and ______-_________. But not if someone else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our _________.

Answer 66

*ourselves *gently *broad-mindedness *esophagus.

Question 67

Don’t argue with your customer. Don’t tell them they are wrong. Don’t get them stirred up. Use a little diplomacy.
PRINCIPLE 11: ________________________.

Answer 67

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never

say, “You’re wrong.”

Question 68

If we know we are going to be rebuked anyhow, isn’t it ____ ______ to _____ the other person to it and do it ourselves? Isn’t it much easier to listen to ____-_______ than to bear condemnation from _____ _____?

Answer 68

*far better *beat *self-criticism *alien lips?

Question 69

Say about yourself all the _________ things you know the other person is ________ or wants to say or intends to say - and say them before that person has a chance to say them. The chances are a hundred to one that a ________,_________ _______ will be taken and your _______ will be _______ just as the mounted policeman did with me and Rex.

Answer 69

*derogatory *thinking *generous, forgiving attitude *mistakes *minimised

Question 70

“My eagerness to _______ myself took all the _____ out of him. He ended up by taking me to lunch; and before we parted, he gave me a check and another commission”

Answer 70

*criticise *fight

Question 71

There is a certain degree of ________ in having the ______ to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps _____ the problem created by the error.

Answer 71

*satisfaction *courage *solve

Question 72

Any fool can try to _______ his or her mistakes - and most fools do - but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of _______ and _______ to admit one’s mistakes. For example, one of the most beautiful things that history records about Robert E. Lee is the way he blamed himself and only himself for the failure of Pickett’s charge at Gettysburg.

Answer 72

*defend *nobility and *exultation

Question 73

When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong - and that will be _________ ______, if we are honest with ourselves - let’s _____ our _______ ______ and with ________. Not only will that technique produce ________ ________; but, believe it or not, it is a lot more
fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself. Remember the old proverb: “By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

PRINCIPLE 12: __________________________.

Answer 73

*surprisingly often *admit *mistakes *quickly *enthusiasm. *astonishing results

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Question 74

If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling toward you, you can’t win him to your way __ _______ with all the _____ in
Christendom. Scolding parents and domineering bosses and
husbands and nagging wives ought to realise that people don’t want
to change their minds. They can’t he forced or driven to agree with
you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and
friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.

Answer 74

*of thinking *logic

Question 75

I read a fable about the sun and the wind. They _______ about which was the stronger, and the wind said, “I’ll prove I am. See the old man down there with a coat? I bet I can get his coat off him quicker than you can.” So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder it blew, the tighter the old man clutched his coat to him. Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds and _______ _______ on the old man. Presently, he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then told the wind that ________ and _________ were always stronger
than ____ and _____. The use of gentleness and friendliness is demonstrated day after day by people who have learned that a drop of _____ catches more flies than a gallon of ____.

Answer 75

*quarreled *smiled kindly *gentleness and *friendliness *fury and force. *honey *gall (animal bile)

Question 76

Remember what Lincoln said “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall”
PRINCIPLE 13: ________________________

Answer 76

Begin in a friendly way.

Question 77

In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you _____. Begin by emphasizing - and keep on emphasizing - the
things on which you _____.

Answer 77

*differ. *agree.

Question 78

Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” at the outset. Keep your opponent, if possible, from saying “No.” A “No” response, according to Professor Overstreet, (*) is a most _______ _______ __ ________. When you have said “No,” all your ____ of personality demands that you remain ________ with yourself. You may later feel that the “No” was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to
consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started
in the ________ direction.

Answer 78

*difficult handicap to overcome. *pride *consistent *affirmative

Question 79

The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of “Yes” responses. This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the _______ direction. It is like the movement of a billiard ball. _____ in one direction, and it takes some _____ to deflect it; far more force
to send it back in the opposite direction.

Answer 79

*affirmative *Propel *force

Question 80

The psychological patterns are quite clear. When a person says
“No” and really means it, he or she is doing far more than saying a word of two letters. The entire organism - glandular, nervous, muscular -gathers itself together into a condition of _______. There is, usually in minute but sometimes in observable degree, a ______ __________ or readiness for withdrawal. The whole neuromuscular system, in short, sets itself on guard against _______. When, to the contrary, a person says “Yes,” none of the withdrawal activities
takes place. The organism is in a forward - moving, accepting, open attitude. Hence the more “Yeses” we can, at the very outset, induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.

Answer 80

*rejection. *physical withdrawal *acceptance.

Question 81

The next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong,
let’s remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question - a question that will get the “___, ___” response.
The Chinese have a proverb pregnant with the age-old wisdom of
the Orient: “He who treads softly goes far.”

PRINCIPLE 14: _______________________________

Answer 81

*yes, yes *Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Question 82

Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out.
They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t. It is _______. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for ________. So listen patiently and with an ____ ____. Be sincere about it. Encourage them to _______ their ideas fully.

PRINCIPLE 15: ____________________________

Answer 82

*dangerous. *expression. *open mind *express

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Question 83

Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a _____ ______? If so, isn’t it bad _______ to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people? Isn’t it wiser to make _________ - and let the other person think out the _________?

Answer 83

*silver platter? *judgment *suggestions *conclusion?

Question 84

No one likes to feel that he or she is being ____ some-thing or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be _______ about our wishes, our wants, our ______.

Answer 84

*sold *consulted *thoughts.

Question 85

The buyer looked at the sketches for a while without uttering a word. Finally he said: “Leave these with me for a few days, Wesson, and then come back and see me.” Wesson returned three days later, got his __________, took the sketches back to the studio and had them finished ________ to the buyer’s _____. The result? All accepted.

“I realised why I had failed for years to sell him,” said Mr. Wesson. “ I had urged him to buy what I thought he ought to have. Then I changed my approach
completely. I urged him to give me his ideas. This made him feel that he was creating the designs. And he was. I didn’t have to sell him. He bought.”

Answer 85

*suggestions *according *ideas.

Question 86

Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay “Self-Reliance” stated: “In a lot of works of ______ we recognise our own ______ _______; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”

Answer 86

*genius *rejected thoughts

Question 87

Did House interrupt him and say, “That’s not your idea. That’s mine”? Oh, no. Not House. He was too adroit for that. He didn’t care about _____. He wanted ______. So he let Wilson continue to ____ that the idea was ___. House did even more than that. He gave Wilson public
credit for these ideas. Let’s remember that everyone we come in contact with is just as _____ as Woodrow Wilson. So let’s use Colonel House’s technique.

Answer 87

*credit. *results. *feel *his. *human.

Question 88

” The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them,
they do not count it an injury.”

PRINCIPLE 16: _____________________

Answer 88

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Question 89

Remember that other people may be _____ _____. But they don’t think so. Don’t ______ them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that.

Answer 89

*totally wrong *condemn

Question 90

There is a _____ why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason - and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality. Try honestly to put yourself in his place.
If you say to yourself, “How would I feel, how would I react if I were in his shoes?” you will save yourself time and ______, for “by becoming _______ in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect.” And, in addition, you will sharply increase your skill in ______ __________.

Answer 90

*reason *irritation *interested *human

relationships.

Question 91

“Stop a minute to contrast your ____ interest in your own affairs with your ____ concern about anything else. Realise then, that _______ else in the world feels exactly the same way!
Then, along with Lincoln and Roosevelt, you will have grasped the only solid foundation for interpersonal relationships; namely, that success in dealing with people depends on a _________ ______ __ ___ _____ ________ __________.”

Answer 91

*keen *mild *everybody *sympathetic grasp of

the other persons’ viewpoint.”

Question 92

“Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as _______ as your own. Starting your conversation by giving the other person the purpose or direction of your conversation, _______ what you say by what you would want to hear if you were the listener, and accepting his or her viewpoint will encourage the listener to have an ____ _____ to your ideas.”

Answer 92

*important *governing *open mind

Question 93

Tomorrow, before asking anyone to put out a fire or buy your product or contribute to your favorite charity, why not pause and close your eyes and try to think the whole thing through from _______ ______ _____ __ ____? Ask yourself: “Why should he or she ____ to do it?” True, this will take time, but it will avoid making enemies and will get better _____ - and with less friction and less shoe leather.

Answer 93

*another person’s point of view? *want *results

Question 94

“I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person - from my ________ of his or her _______ and ______ - was likely
to answer.”

Answer 94

*knowledge *interests and *motives

Question 95

PRINCIPLE 17: _____________________

Answer 95

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s

point of view.

Question 96

Wouldn’t you like to have a _____ ______ that would stop _______, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: memorise

Answer 96

*magic phrase *arguments

“I don’t blame you one bit for feeling as
you do. If I were you I would feel exactly the same way.”

Question 97

The magic phrase will soften the most cantankerous old cuss alive. And you can say that and be ___ _______ ______, because if you were the other person you, __ ______, would feel just as he does.
Take Al Capone, for example. Suppose you had inherited the same body and temperament and mind that Al Capone had. Suppose you had had his environment and experiences. You would then be ______ what he was - and where he was. For it is those things - and only those things - that made him what he was. The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your
mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes.

Answer 97

*100 percent sincere *of course *inherited *body and *temperament and *mind *environment and *experiences. *precisely

Question 98

Remember, the people who come to you ______, _______, _______ deserve very little discredit for being what they are. Feel _____ for the poor devils. Pity them. __________ with them. Say to yourself: “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for _______. Give it to them, and they will love you.

Answer 98

*irritated, bigoted, unreasoning, *sorry *Sympathise *sympathy

Question 99

Dr. Arthur I. Gates said in his splendid book Educational Psychology:
“Sympathy the human species universally craves. The child eagerly displays his injury; or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap ______ ________. For the same purpose adults … show their bruises, relate their accidents, illness, especially details of surgical operations. ‘Self-pity’ for misfortunes real or imaginary is in some measure, practically a _______ ________.”
So, if you want to win people to your way of thinking, put in practice..

PRINCIPLE 18: _____________________

Answer 99

• abundant sympathy
• universal practice.

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and
desires.

Question 100

The fact is that all people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be ____ and _______ in their own estimation. J. Pierpont Morgan observed, in one of his analytical interludes, that a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one. The person himself will think of the real reason. You don’t need to emphasise that. But all of us, being _____ at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.

Answer 100

*fine and *unselfish * idealists

Question 101

He _______ to the _____ and ____ that all of us have for motherhood. He wrote, “Please do not publish that picture of me any more. My mother doesn’t like it.”

Answer 101

*appealed *respect and *love

Question 102

He _______ to the desire, deep in all of us, to refrain from harming children. He said: “You know how it is, boys. You’ve got children yourselves, some of you. And you know it’s not good for youngsters to get too much ______.”

Answer 102

*appealed *publicity

Question 103

As I sat here and listened to your side of the story, I could not help being _______ by your fairness and patience. I’m going to trust you to adjust the bill.

Answer 103

*impressed

Question 104

“Experience has taught me,” says Mr. Thomas, “that when no information can be secured about the customer, the only sound basis on which to proceed is to assume that he or she is ______, _______, _______ and willing and anxious to pay the charges, once convinced they are correct. To put it differently and perhaps more clearly, people are honest and want to discharge their obligations. The exceptions to that rule are comparatively few, and I am convinced that the individuals who are inclined to chisel will in most cases react favorably if you make them feel that you consider them ______, upright and fair.”

PRINCIPLE 19: _____________________

Answer 104

*sincere, honest, truthful *discharge their obligations *honest

Appeal to the nobler motives.

Question 105

The printing of that book _______ the fact that the Bulletin carried an enormous amount of interesting reading matter. It conveyed the facts more vividly, more interestingly, more ________, than pages of figures and mere talk could have done.

Answer 105

*dramatised *impressively

Question 106

This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough.
The truth has to be made _____,_______, _______. You have to use ___________. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want ______.

PRINCIPLE 20: _____________________

Answer 106

*vivid, interesting, dramatic. *showmanship *attention.

Dramatise your ideas.

Question 107

When nothing else works, try this:
Let Charles Schwab say it in his own words: “The way to get things done,” say Schwab, “is to ______ _________. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to _____.”
The desire to _____! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit.

Answer 107

*stimulate competition *excel(x2)

Question 108

“All men have _____, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to _____” was the motto of the King’s Guard in ancient Greece.

Answer 108

*fears *victory

Question 109

Then Smith, who saw his hesitation, leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Young fellow,” he said, “I don’t blame you for being scared.
It’s a tough spot. It’ll take a big person to go up there and stay.” So Smith was ________ _____ _ ________ , was he? Lawes liked the idea of attempting a job that called for someone “___.”

Answer 109

*throwing down a challenge *big

Question 110

________ ________, one of the great behavioural scientists, studied in depth the work attitudes of thousands of people ranging from factory workers to senior executives. What do you think he found to be the most motivating factor - the one facet of the jobs
that was most stimulating? Money? Good working conditions? Fringe benefits? No - not any of those. The one major factor that motivated people was the work itself. If the work was ______ and _________ , the worker looked forward to doing it and was ______ to do a ____ job.

Answer 110

*Frederic Herzberg *exciting and interesting *motivated *good

Question 111

That is what every successful person loves: the game. The chance for ___-________. The chance to prove his or her _____, to excel, to ___. That is what makes foot-races and hog-calling and pie-eating contests. The desire to excel. The desire for a feeling of _______.

PRINCIPLE 21: _____________________

Answer 111

*self-expression *worth *win *importance

Throw down a challenge.

Question 112

In a nutshell
WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
PRINCIPLE 10- 
The only way to get the best of an..
PRINCIPLE 11- 
Show respect for the other person's..
PRINCIPLE 12- 
If you are wrong..
PRINCIPLE 13- 
Begin in a..
PRINCIPLE 14- 
Get the other person saying..
PRINCIPLE 15- 
Let the other person do..
PRINCIPLE 16- 
Let the other person feel that..
PRINCIPLE 17- 
Try honestly to see things..
PRINCIPLE 18- 
Be sympathetic with the other..
PRINCIPLE 19- 
Appeal to..
PRINCIPLE 20- 
Drama..
PRINCIPLE 21- 
Throw..

Answer 112

10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid
    it.
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say,
    “You’re wrong.”
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point
    of view.
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and
    desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatise your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.

Question 113

If you must find fault, this is the way to begin..
It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we
have heard some praise of our good points.
Beginning with ____ is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is ________.
A leader will use …

PRINCIPLE 22: ______________

Answer 113

*praise *painkilling

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Question 114

How to criticise and not be hated for it..

Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people without ____ ______ or ______ ________.
Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “___” and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.” In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word “but.” He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie’s attitude toward his studies. This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and.”
“We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”
Now, Johnnie would accept the praise because there was no followup of an inference of failure. We have called his attention to the behavior we wished to change indirectly and the chances are he will try to live up to our expectations.

Answer 114

*giving offense or arousing resentment. *but

Question 115

Calling attention to one’s mistakes _______ works wonders with ______ people who may ______ bitterly any direct criticism.

An effective way to correct others’ mistakes is …
PRINCIPLE 23:

Answer 115

*indirectly *sensitive *resent

Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Question 116

So after that, when I wanted to call Josephine’s attention to a mistake, I used to begin by saying, “You have made a mistake, Josephine, but the Lord knows, it’s no worse than many I have made. You were not born with judgment. That comes only with experience, and you are better than I was at your age. I have been guilty of so many stupid, silly things myself, I have very little inclination to criticise you or anyone. But don’t you think it would have been wiser if you had done so and so?”
It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticizing begins by ______ _______ that he, too, is far from ________.

Answer 116

*humbly admitting *impeccable.

Question 117

If a few sentences humbling oneself and praising the other party can turn a haughty, insulted Kaiser into a staunch friend, imagine what humility and praise can do for you and me in our daily contacts.
Rightfully used, they will work veritable ______ in ______ ______.
______ one’s own mistakes - even when one hasn’t corrected them - can help _______ somebody to change his behavior.

Answer 117

*miracles *human relations. *Admitting *convince

Question 118

A good leader follows this principle:

PRINCIPLE 24 - _______________________

Answer 118

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Question 119

No one likes to take orders
A technique like that makes it easy for a person to correct errors. A technique like that saves a person’s ____ and gives him or her a feeling of ________. It encourages ________ instead of rebellion.
_________ caused by a brash order may last a long time -even if
the order was given to correct an obviously ___ situation.

Answer 119

*pride *importance *cooperation *Resentment *bad

Question 120

Asking questions not only makes an order more ______; it often stimulates the ______ of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the ______ that caused the order to be issued.

Answer 120

*pleasing *creativity *decision

Question 121

“Is there anything we can do to handle this order?”
“Can anyone think of different ways to process it through the shop that will make it possible to take the order?”
“Is there any way to adjust our hours or personnel assignments that would help?”
The employees came up with many ideas and insisted that he take the order. They approached it with a “We can do it” attitude, and the order was accepted, produced and delivered on time.
An effective leader will use …

PRINCIPLE 25: _______________

Answer 121

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Question 122

Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ___ by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupйry wrote: “I have
no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes.
What matters is not what I think of him, but what he _____ __ ______. Hurting a man in his dignity is a _____.”
A real leader will always follow …

PRINCIPLE 26: ______________

Answer 122

*ego *thinks of himself *crime

Let the other person save face.

Question 123

Why, I wonder, don’t we use the same common sense when trying to change people that we use when trying to change dogs? Why don’t we use meat instead of a ____? Why don’t we use _____ instead of _________? Let us praise even the ______ _________. That ______ the other person to keep on ________.

Answer 123

*whip *praise *condemnation *slightest improvement *inspires *improving

Question 124

“Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of _____, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of _____ .”

Answer 124

*criticism *praise

Question 125

For example, many years ago a boy of ten was working in a factory in Naples, He longed to be a singer, but his first teacher discouraged him. “You can’t sing,” he said. “You haven’t any voice at all. It sounds like the wind in the shutters.”
But his mother, a poor peasant woman, put her arms about him and praised him and told him she knew he could sing, she could already see an ________, and she went barefoot in order to save money to pay for his music lessons. That peasant mother’s _____ and __________ changed that boy’s life. His name was Enrico Caruso, and he became the greatest and most famous opera singer of his age.

Answer 125

*improvement *praise and

encouragement

Question 126

Use of praise instead of criticism is the basic concept of B.F. Skinner’s teachings. This great contemporary psychologist has shown by experiments with animals and with humans that when criticism is _______ and praise ________, the good things people do will be _______ and the poorer things will ______ for lack of _______.

Of course, it doesn’t last forever and they won’t keep improving, but the behaviour will level off at a much better standard.

Answer 126

*minimised *emphasised *reinforced *atrophy *attention

Question 127

Let me repeat: The principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.
Talk about changing people. If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realisation of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more than change people. We can literally transform them. Exaggeration? Then listen to these sage words from William James, one of the most distinguished psychologists and philosophers America has ever produced:
Compared with what we ought to be, we are only ____ ______. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses ______ of ______ ______ which he
_______ _____ to use.

Answer 127

*half awake *powers of various sorts *habitually fails

Question 128

Abilities wither under _____; they blossom under encouragement.
To become a more effective leader of people, apply …

PRINCIPLE 27: _____________________

Answer 128

*criticism

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every

improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your
praise. “

Question 129

“The average person,” said Samuel Vauclain, then president of the Baldwin Locomotive Works, “can be led readily if you have his or her respect and if you show that you respect that person for some kind of ability.”
In short, if you want to _____ a person in a certain aspect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics. Shakespeare said “Assume a virtue, if
you have it not.” And it might be well to assume and state openly that other people have the virtue you want them to develop. Give them a fine ______ to live up to, and they will make _______ ______ rather than see you disillusioned.

Answer 129

*improve *reputation *prodigious efforts

Question 130

There is an old saying: “Give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang him.” But give him a good name - and see what happens!

If you want to excel in that difficult leadership role of changing the attitude or behavior of others, use …
PRINCIPLE 28: ________________

Answer 130

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Question 131

Make the fault seem easy to correct..
Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong, and you have ______ ______ ______ ______ to try to improve. But use the opposite technique - be liberal with your _______, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an ________ flair for it - and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to ____

“Why, Dale, it is no trick at all,” Lowell replied. “There is nothing to
bridge except memory and judgment. You’ve written articles on
memory. Bridge will be a cinch for you. It’s right up your _____.” .

Answer 131

*destroyed almost every incentive *encouragement *undeveloped *excel *alley

Question 132

If you want to help others to improve, remember …

PRINCIPLE 29: ________________

Answer 132

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Question 133

Making people glad to do what you want..

Always make the other person _____ about doing the thing you suggest.

Answer 133

*happy

Question 134

The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind
when it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
• 1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot _____.
Forget about the benefits to yourself and _______ on the benefits to the other person.
• 2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
• 3. Be ______. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.
• 4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
• 5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
• 6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to
the other person the idea that he personally will ______.

Answer 134

*deliver *concentrate *empathetic *benefit

Question 135

People are more likely to do what you would like them to do when you use …
PRINCIPLE 30: ______________________

Answer 135

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Question 136

In a nutshell 
Be A Leader
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and
behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
PRINCIPLE 22- Begin with..
PRINCIPLE 23- Call attention to..
PRINCIPLE 24- Talk about your own..
PRINCIPLE 25- Ask questions instead of..
PRINCIPLE 26- Let the other person..
PRINCIPLE 27- Praise the slightest..
PRINCIPLE 28- Give the other person..
PRINCIPLE 29- Use encourage..
PRINCIPLE 30- Make the other person happy..
--------------------------- 
THE END.

Answer 136

22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.