"How To Get Away With A Murder Mystery"

Question 1

/A shocking gasp/

Answer 1

She’s dead!

Question 2

NARRATOR 2: A little weird, but okay.

Answer 2

Agent Orange

Question 3

/Vick is dead on the ground. Everyone is standing around her/

Answer 3

She’s dead!

Question 4

MR. BURGUNDY: Oh yeah. This is delightful. I can feel my jaw relaxing.

Answer 4

Please, everyone, this is my office because I am a senator, which you can tell by my tie, and I’m going to need everyone to stay right here while we figure this out.

Question 5

GREEN: Whatever.

Answer 5

Whatever?!

Question 6

ELDERLY WOMAN: Hello? Is this the senator’s office?

Answer 6

We’re a little busy right now. With the…

Question 7

ELDERLY WOMAN: Oh my goodness, a murder?!

Answer 7

We’re calling it an unfortunate event-

Question 8

ELDERLY WOMAN: Maybe I can help. I always seem to find myself in these situations back in Cabot Cove.

Answer 8

Cabot Cove, Maine?

Question 9

ELDERLY WOMAN: Oh yes. Ironically, there seem to be a series of murders there, and I’m a mystery writer so I-

Answer 9

Excuse me.

Question 10

/Orange yells out from somewhere in the audience/

Answer 10

You’ll never catch me, ha ha ha!

Question 11

LADY INDIGO: Oh look there’s a sudden thunderstorm slash blizzard slash airborne toxic event.

Answer 11

What?

Question 12

OFF WHITE: Everyone is supposed to take shelter. Especially if you have asthma.

Answer 12

Seriously?

Question 13

/Orange stumbles back in/

Answer 13

Forgot that my inhaler was in my office.

Question 14

ELDERLY WOMAN: I’m so glad you’re back, senator. I just have a few questions.

Answer 14

I’m sure I don’t have anything to hide.

Question 15

ELDERLY WOMAN: Sit down and shut up.

Answer 15

What?

Question 16

ELDERLY WOMAN: Do you have a hearing problem? is there asthma in your ears? Sit down. Shut your mouth.

Answer 16

Yes, ma’am.

Question 17

ELDERLY WOMAN: We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. Don’t look at them. Look at me. I said don’t look at them.

Answer 17

I’m not looking at-

Question 18

/She slaps him/

Answer 18

Ah!

Question 19

ELDERLY WOMAN: Eyes on me. You did it, didn’t you?

Answer 19

What I-?

Question 20

ELDERLY WOMAN: Are you having difficulty understanding the words coming out of my mouth? You did it.

Answer 20

I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Question 21

ELDERLY WOMAN: You think I’m stupid? I WILL END YOU.

Answer 21

I’m a senator!

Question 22

ELDERLY WOMAN: AND I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.

Answer 22

You can’t talk to me this way!

Question 23

ELDERLY WOMAN: …ADMIT YOUR CRIME or you will experience a new universe of never-ending pain!

Answer 23

Dear lord!

Question 24

ELDERLY WOMAN: I AM YOUR LORD NOW. TELL US WHAT YOU DID.

Answer 24

AAAAAAAH!

Question 25

ELDERLY WOMAN: AAAAAAAAAAHH!

Answer 25

Okay I did it I admit it! She learned that I had taken illegal campaign contributions from a series of foreign dignitaries! She was blackmailing me! I put the poison in her coffee I'm so sorry I'm a murderer please just get the little old lady away from me!

Question 26

MR. BURGUNDY: I don't know about anyone else, but I am hungry. Who is up for a protein shake and pecans?

Answer 26

Maybe we should call the authorities? I can't bear to look!

Question 27

MR. BURGUNDY: Why.

Answer 27

The sight of blood, it's so disturbing!

Question 28

LADY INDIGO: You just couldn't bear to see these fish in captivity, could you?

Answer 28

They're mammals, actually.

Question 29

LADY INDIGO: ...So you hatched a plan just like dolphins hatch their young: murder.

Answer 29

Live birth. Again, mammals.

Question 30

GREEN: I just think this place is gross because it smells like fish.

Answer 30

Mammals.

Question 31

BRITISH DETECTIVE: And notice: a mustard stain from a hot dog.

Answer 31

How do you know it's from a hot dog?

Question 32

BRITISH DETECTIVE: It's signed "Lady Indigo."

Answer 32

You put your name on it?!

Question 33

/Can't think of who the person is/

Answer 33

Groupie-

Question 34

MR. BURGUNDY: Perhaps you should touch it then. Maybe we should all touch it just to be fair.

Answer 34

Maybe it's your fingerprints that are on it.

Question 35

OFF-WHITE: Wow.

Answer 35

Is anyone else feeling uncomfortable?

Question 36

MR. BURGUNDY: Almost as much as I love my dog. My dog is pretty great.

Answer 36

Most of them are. I have a husky-schnauzer mix at home.