Grief Handouts

Question 1

Sympathy vs. Empathy

Answer 1

Empathy:
• I understand to some extent what you might be feeling, and I try to match that feeling
Sympathy:
• Always a sad emotion; feeling sad or bad for someone

Question 2

Grief vs. Mourning

Answer 2

Grief:
• It is the internal experience of the process
• Everyone grieves, but not everyone mourns
Mourning:
• It is the external or shared experience of the process
• Many people are afraid to mourn

Question 3

Cycle of Disengagement definitions

Answer 3

• When a current concern is lost or removed from a person
• Attached to a very specific goal or person or incident
• Much more a caregiver than a counselor
• Let them move at their own speed
• Has distinct stages and phases and is normal

Question 4

Cycle of Disengagement: Stages

Answer 4

Invigoration (try really hard; don’t want to give up)
Primitivization (try a little; then start justifying)
Aggression
Depression
Recovery (new relationship; new dreams)

Question 5

When your friend grieves…

Answer 5

1. Allow your friend to talk
2. You should be more occupied with comforting than with counseling
3. Accept the mood swings your friend may have
4. Help your friend focus on Jesus Christ who is our hope
5. Allow your friend to establish their own pattern of grieving
6. Try to identify times of the day that are especially hard for your friend
7. Go beyond saying, “If there’s anything I can do, give me a call.”
8. Help out with obligations they may have
9. If there are children involved, be available to do anything for them that you would do for your friend
10. We all desire to keep our friends from additional hurt

Question 6

Grieving Person’s Bill of Rights

Answer 6

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief
2. You have the right to talk about your grief
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits
5. You have the right to experience grief “attacks”
6. You have the right to make use of ritual
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality
8. You have the right to search for meaning
9. You have the right to treasure your memories
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal

Question 7

Five Stages of Grief

Answer 7

1. Shock/Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Question 8

Two determinants of the grief process

Answer 8

1. significance of the relationship

2. amount of unfinished business