Game of Tiaras

Question 1

Guard 1: Sorry about this miss

Answer 1

If it makes you feel any better, I have a wife and children to think of

Question 2

Snow White: I don’t care about your wife and children

Answer 2

Her name’s Brunhilnda and shes got a goiter the size of a cantaloupe sticking out of her neck. At first I was like, I can do better but then I came around to thinking, you know what, I’m just a guard, somebody’s probably going to kill me at some point, so why not marry the outer lady? She can actually use to open bottles, so that’s a bonus. And here’s Wulfgar-hes already learning to stab things like his old man, and here’s the light of my life,little Brunhilnda Junior. She’s got the cauliflower ear.

Question 3

Ellie: Yeah, somebody shut her up.

Answer 3

Again, terribly sorry about this.

Question 4

Snow White: Ow.

Answer 4

If you could pretend to be unconscious after I hit you that would be great

Question 5

Snow White: Ow!

Answer 5

You’re ruining this!

Question 6

Guard 1: What’s the matter, little girl?

Answer 6

I think its time for some shish ke-princess-babs.

Question 7

Guard 3: With a little hot sauce on top of them.

Answer 7

That didn’t really help my metaphor, Bob.

Question 8

Guard 3: Sorry I just calm up sometimes when we start making threatening language. Can I try again?

Answer 8

All right, ready?

Question 9

Guard 3: I got it.

Answer 9

Its time for some shish ke-princess-babs.

Question 10

Guard 3: We weren’t even doing anything!

Answer 10

Stand your ground! What can one Frenchman do against us?

Question 11

French Prince: Oh Yeah. Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood. A veritable flibbertigibbet.

Answer 11

Ah! His clever word play is too much for us!

Question 12

Guard 1: Your Highness!

Answer 12

It wasn’t our fault!

Question 13

Guard 1: French!

Answer 13

They had pointy weapons

Question 14

Guard 3: well we stopped off and killed a peasant that looked like Belle and we painted her hair brown, so we’ve got that for you-

Answer 14

Barry, can I talk to you for a second?

Question 15

Guard 3: What?

Answer 15

That was our plan to decide Cinderella

Question 16

Guard 3: Ohhhhh… Oh dang it. So we just killed that peasant for no reason then?

Answer 16

Don’t worry about it, this is a tragedy, life is cheap.

Question 17

Belle: No. My sisters are busy trying to carve this place up. I’m not going to let them. I love the common people too much.

Answer 17

Look who it is!

Question 18

Peasant 2: Its Belle! Its Belle! Everyone its belle

Answer 18

She’s so peculiar.

Question 19

Belle: What was that?

Answer 19

I just find it odd that you like to read.

Question 20

Belle: Quick question for you: Can you read?

Answer 20

No ma’am like most peasants, I’m completely illiterate.

Question 21

Belle: I am the one true queen! The other queens are Imposters!

Answer 21

Yes, your Highness, anything you say, your Highness.

Question 22

Belle: I’ll let you know when the time comes.

Answer 22

Woo! We’ll be a mob!

Question 23

Peasant 2:Are you alright?

Answer 23

Well it’s just…my high school guidance counselor told me I was never going to amount to anything-all I would be selling baguettes in some little provincial town, and now…look at me…I’m about to become part of an angry mob.

Question 24

Peasant 2: Yeah.

Answer 24

Dare to dream. Dare to dream.

Question 25

Peasant 2: Lets go chase down someone who looks different and burn them.

Answer 25

I thought you’d never ask.

Question 26

(Run out)

Answer 26

It looks like its just you and me, pal.

Question 27

Soldier 2: Yeah. Yeah it does.

Answer 27

By the way, can I just-i’ve got some great photos of my kids here-do you mind?

Question 28

Soldier 2: Oh they’re adorable.

Answer 28

Yeah. Oh yeah.

Question 29

Soldier 2: I don’t normally do this at war, but-

Answer 29

Let me see. let me see. Oh yes. Yes. Your wife is totally hot.

Question 30

Soldier 2: Hey!

Answer 30

It was a compliment!

Question 31

Soldier 2: That’s a little bit of an odd compliment I gotta tell you.

Answer 31

And your daughters are just lovely.

Question 32

Guard 3: We are being defeated! Get to your position!

Answer 32

Duty calls.

Question 33

Soldier 2: Hey. Here’s my card. Are you on LinkedIn?

Answer 33

Yeah. Can I text you my info

Question 34

Soldier 2: Hold on, I’m trying to get this tho work. It’s hard to get a signal on the battlefield.

Answer 34

Is that running on Windows?

Question 35

Soldier 2: Yeah.

Answer 35

Oh man i”m sorry.

Question 36

Cinderella: I’m not done trying to stab you!

Answer 36

Hey! Let them have their moment.

Question 37

Soldier 2: Yeah. Its beautiful.

Answer 37

I thought so too,Chad.

Question 38

Soldier 2: If I cry, will you hold me?

Answer 38

Always.

Question 39

King: What happened here?

Answer 39

There was a pretty awesome battle that was interrupted by a wedding, and then by a shooting. You slept through all of it.

Question 40

Cinderella: Oh come on. I’m just going to have to start another war then.

Answer 40

Right away Prince!

Question 41

Narrator 2: Which we will now present to you in extra awful TRAGO-VISION SLOW MOTION! Behold the ironic death! Behold the Blood Packet Guy!

Answer 41

I’ll save belle

Question 42

King: Hey look its my favorite daughter!

Answer 42

Waaaaaaaaaaiiiiit!

Question 43

King: Noooooooooooooo.

Answer 43

Stop the execution!