Full Show Flashcards
PHYLLIS: At last, someone has made it through this terrible storm for the reading of the will.
Hurry, let me in. It never pours, but what it rains! I’m getting soaked and I don’t want my fabric samples to get ruined.
PHYLLIS: Do something with this, will you Bellows? Hello, Cousin Earlene.
Where is everyone?
BELLOWS: Hmph. No one’s waited longer than me. I’ve been waiting forty years for this day.
You’ve been keeping house and cooking here at Grey’s Hound Mansion for as long as I can remember.
This place is so gloomy. But every early cloud gets the worm! I brought some toss pillows to brighten things up. I can’t wait to start redecorating! Soon as that attorney gets here and reads the will, no one will be able to stop me. You’ll see!
There. Don’t you think that looks better?
PHYLLIS: You just can’t wait, can you? … Don’t count your chintzes before they hatch, if you know what I’m saying.
Oh, don’t be silly. Of course, Earl left Grey’s Hound Mansion to me. I’m his only blood relative! And blood is thicker than a duck’s back.
PHYLLIS: But you forget … especially the three F’s.
The three F’s? (with Bellows)
ANNA: Yes, hello.
Nice to see you again. Here’s my card, in case you ever want to decorate your kennels. I specialize in houndstooth check, you know.
BELLOWS: Oh, don’t look at me like that! … drop into the tea I made for him every night.
Oh Bellows, I’m sure no one suspects you. Does anyone know how Earl died? I’ve been too busy planning the renovation of the mansion to be bothered with details like that. Don’t you think a display of Indian baskets would be nice in the marble foyer?
VICTORIA: Pleased to meet you. I do wish your dogs would stop barking! They sound ferocious.
Hello! Here’s my card. I can help you decorate that little cottage you live in, back of the kennels. Do you like gingham? A penny earned is for a rainy day.
ANNA: So I took Bangle to Burbank. … When the judging began, I just know this time Bangle would win over Bagel.
Hooray! bangle won. Would you like me to design a room for his award? Maybe something in hunter’s green, or a plaid.
BELLOWS: Oh, it’s been a long, long time. … I didn’t have arthritis, so I could keep up with the cleaning.
When I take over the mansion, you won’t have to worry about cleaning the Oriental rugs. I’m going to replace them with bamboo mats. That will go nicely with the lace curtains, don’t you think?
PHYLLIS: Forty years is a long time. … You don’t seem too saddened by his sudden death though.
Who, me? Well, of course I am just devastated that my rich cousin has finally passed away. But he’s in a better place, I’m sure. Anyplace would be better than this gloomy mansion of his. I offered to redecorate it for him, but never would let me. He said I should leave well enough is hard to find – or something like that.
VICTORIA: Oh, you’re an interior decorator?
Yes, I took a correspondence course from the Home Interior Decorating for Dummies School. I had some lovely chintz curtains picked out for the drawing room, but Earl insisted on leaving those dark brown drapes instead. He said it was the same color as one of his prize-winning hounds. Personally, I thought they looked like they came from the flea market.
VICTORIA: That’s funny. Flea market drapes for Hound Mansion.
I had great plans for the library, too. I thought some country baskets would be nice out there, instead of those trophies. Of course, they wouldn’t go with the marble floor, so that would have to go. He didn’t like that idea, but you know what they say. If at first you don’t succeed, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. I don’t know why you’d want to put eggs in the library, but then, I never change horses in the middle of a job worth doing.
PHYLLIS: Nevermind, Bellows. Please go on, Earlene.
Once I overheard him talking about the great Dane, and I got so excited. I thought he’s finally taken an interest in Danish modern design. I ran to my room and got my catalogues of Danish modern furniture, but when I showed them to Earl, he laughed at me. He said he was talking about a dog. How was I to know there was a breed of dogs called Great Danes? That’s what I get for counting my chickens before I walked a mile in their shoes.
WILL: I bet you didn’t like getting laughed at. It might have made her angry enough to kill Earl, so she could do whatever she wanted.
Well, who’s laughing now, I’d like to know. He can’t stop me now! They say actions speak louder than an apple a day, so I’ll start ordering Waving Lee fabrics right away.
WILL: You mean the time the sun lamp fell into the pool? … My goodness, that could have been a tragic accident.
Yes, that was a very expensive sun lamp, and it would have been ruined.
PHYLLIS: And then there was that incident with the barbells. I know about that because –
You know everything!
CAINE: You mean, the killer is one of us?
OFFICER: Exactly!
I knew it was you! (will)
WILL: I knew you had a mean streak in you, you greedy lunatic!
No, wait. You don’t understand! It’s true. Those are my initials. But I embroidered them on all the silk scarves I made as Christmas gifts for everyone last year. I gave everyone a silk scarf, and I signed each one with my initials E.M.G. But each person received a different color. And I didn’t make a scarf for myself. I was going to, but you know how it is, a stitch in time gets the last laugh. I had to shop for all my other cousins and –
OFFICER: Do you remember who got what, I mean, to whom got which, I mean to whom you gave what color scarf?
Well, let me think. Phyllis, red – to match her shoes, Bellows, grey – to match his hair, – what color was the scarf that was used as the murder weapon?
VICTORIA: Oh, the suspense! I’m terrified!
I remember perfectly who I gave it to. It matched their jacket. I gave it to – Will!
VICTORIA: You mean the Attorney isn’t coming at all? … ad I placed on the Internet singles website.
Speaking of silk, I think silk lampshades would be pretty in here. I’ll go get my silk swatches.
