Fishergirl Flashcards
“Sounds great! Sounds great! What do you think your chances are out there, miss?”
“Well I just wanna stay within myself and take it one fish at a time. You know, just do my thing.”
“What about your competition out there?”
“I try not to think about the competition. I just try to fish.”
“Right before she catches a fish. Like now. Looks like a big ‘un.”
“It’s huge! I’m going to eat for a month!”
“You’ve caught me.”
“Aaaaaaaah! It talks!”
(starts beating talking fish.) “Ow. Ow. Ow! Ow. Stop it. Ow!”
“Die die die you unholy abomination!”
“No please! Help! Ow. Ow. STOP IT! Listen. I’ll make a deal with you.”
“I don’t make deals with the Devil!”
“Ow! Ow! I’m not the Devil! I’m just a talking fish! Please stop hitting me!”
“Why won’t you die?!”
“Let’s listen in!”
“I wish. . . for three more wishes.”
“Done! You still had one left!”
“Dang it.”
“You heard me: I wish for three more wishes.”
“Um. . . you can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s against the rules.”
“Fine, I’ll just kill you and eat you then.”
“Wait! How about two wishes?”
“Okay.”
“Now I feel bad ‘cause I didn’t think of any of this.”
“Okay . . . wish A:”
“You’ve got them written out beforehand?”
“I had my lawyer draw these up just in case. Wish A: I, the undersigned, wish for the following: 1. To never go hungry again, 2.”
“You’ve got them written out beforehand?”
“I had my lawyer draw these up just in case. Wish A: I, the undersigned, wish for the following: 1. To never go hungry again, 2.”
“You can’t make a list!”
“It’s a compound wish.”
“Let’s see what the judge says.”
(A buzzer sounds.)
“Ooh.”
“Good idea, though.”
“Fine I wish to never go hungry again and Wish B: to have magical powers.”
“Fine I wish to never go hungry again and Wish B: to have magical powers.”
“Fine.”
“Maybe I should have thought about that a little more.”
“She probably should’ve, because the next thing you know, she was living in a house made out of candy as a witch.”
“Dang it!”
“And let me tell you, if you’ve been subsisting wholly on Snickers bars for seven years, a couple of plump little children look mighty tasty.”
“I really could go for some thighs.”
