First Reading Flashcards
What are two vital life functions that negotiation serves?
- Information Gathering
2. Behaviour influencing
Apart from money, what other parts of your life hinge on your ability to negotiate?
- career
- kids’ fate
- love life
- reputation
What is the difference between talking about what you want, and negotiation?
Negotiation is communication, but WITH results!
X is All talk No shit. Is he a good negotiator?
No! He needs to be some talk, ALL shit. That’s a negotiator. A communicator who gets results.
What is the FIRST step in learning negotiation?
Getting comfortable with it.
Why are you uncomfortable with negotiation?
When you picture negotiation, you picture browbeating someone into submission, like Vidic.
What is negotiation, if not browbeating?
Negotiation is getting what you ask for, by asking CORRECTLY.
If negotiation were a pair of glasses, what would these glasses do?
They would
1) Help you size the counterpart up
2) Influence their sizing up of you
How does it help to size the counterpart up correctly and influence their sizing up of you?
You can use all this knowledge you acquire through negotiation, to get exactly what you want
What kind of paradigm would you refer to when thinking about the whole gamut of negotiation tactics?
A house.
Which parts of a house, broadly, do negotiation tactics fit into?
- Foundation
- Walls
- Roof
- Door
- Interiors
What is the Foundation of the Negotiation House?
Zapping all their insecurity and fear, and clearing all your own assumptions
What do the Walls of the Negotiation House represent?
Breaking down your OWN walls (stepping out of your ego) - stepping into THEIR world to negotiate
Making them feel understood
What are the techniques that help zap insecurities and substantiate assumptions?
Labeling Mirroring Late Night FM DJ Silence Accusation Audits
What techniques help you make your counterpart feel understood?
“That’s right” Summaries and Paraphrasing
How do you step out of your own ego and step into their world to negotiate?
By eliciting a NO
What does the Roof of the Negotiation House represent?
Bending Reality
What techniques can you use to bend reality during your negotiation?
- Deadlines
- Fairness
- Anchoring emotions
What function does the Door of the Negotiation House serve?
It guards against failures in implementation
How do you guard against failures in implementation during the negotiation?
By asking calibrated questions (open-ended how questions)
Once you enter the Negotiation House, what do you see?
The Ackerman Table, and the Black Swan, hidden away somewhere
If a negotiation were a direct restoration, how would the process play out?
You’d excavate their insecurities and fears,
you’d give them the choice of composite or GIC (the illusion of being in their reality),
you’d prepare their surface for composite adherence (warp their reality – composite doesn’t really stick),
you’d isolate (guard against failures in implementation) and then
you’d use the composite of your choice (ackerman etc)
What is the key step you need to take before a negotiation?
Prep the Negotiation One-Sheet for the deal
Is negotiation conflict??
No, it’s collaboration
As a negotiator, what do you do with assumptions?
Throw them away
As a negotiator, which is better? Assumptions or hypotheses?
Hypotheses. Assumptions make you work with unsubstantiated theories.
When you walk into a new case, what kind of view of the case should you have?
Open to all kinds of possibilities
What different aspects make up one possibility in a new negotiation case?
- the situation
- counterpart’s wants
- a whole army of variables
How can you take the notion of limitless possibilities in a new negotiation case to the football field?
As a central midfielder, when you receive the ball, you have many options. You can rake a cross field diagonal, you can take a touch and think, you can go backwards, you can collect and run forwards with it. The possibilities are endless, but ou can figure out what works better by testing all of them out, and seeing others’ reactions, to decide with fact-driven responses, which option works best for you
When you walk into a negotiation with multiple hypotheses in your mind, what makes you stand out as a great negotiator?
Your ability to extract and observe new information, that you can then use to test and winnow true hypotheses from false ones.
A good negotiator knows a situation is full of surprises. A great negotiator knows a situation is full of ________
New information that can be used to test hypotheses
In a negotiation, who is the schizophrenic?
The person who is thinking while the other is talking.
What should be your first goal when conversing with your counterpart?
To calm down your OWN mental voice, and LISTEN to them
What major goal does actively listening to your counterpart accomplish?
It helps them to trust you, and makes them feel safe.
What happens when you engender enough trust and safety?
A REAL conversation can begin, rather than a negotiation “battle”
What is the selfish side effect (and actually the MAIN goal) of active listening?
When you encourage your counterpart to keep talking about what they want, you are able to deduce the things they absolutely NEED. The subset of wants that are essential to the deal.
Your counterpart is going on and on about what they want. Is this good for you?
Yes! It’s easy to talk about, it gives them the illusion of control and the aspiration of actually getting their way.
At the same time, you are able to get enough information to deduce what they NEED. The bare minimum required to make us act.
Why were United fans happy with Jose in his first 2 years?
They wanted fluid attacking football, but they NEEDED trophies. That was the minimum, and he delivered. He listened to what they NEEDED, and gave that to them. Happy!
As a negotiator, is it better for you for the negotiation to go super fast? Or slow?
Slow.
When you go fast in a negotiation, how does that affect your counterpart?
They feel like they aren’t being heard, they feel undermined.
What is the effect of your haste on the negotiation?
The more hasty you are, the less calm your counterpart
If you are seeming like a problem solver in the negotiation, what is your speed during the process?
Fast, like Nani
When you’re moving slowly in the negotiation, how do you end up seeming?
You end up seeming like, and being, a people mover.
What is a massive bonus you are able to get for yourself by being a slow negotiator?
You get more time for background research about your counterpart (like getting the name of the car owner in the bank heist)
As a negotiator you can either be ___ or ___ (MUFC - speed)
Scholes or Nani
Why is voice control important as a negotiator?
You are able to control your counterpart’s perception of you, just based on your non-verbal behaviour - the tone of your voice, for instance.
