Final Exam Flashcards
Appraisal
people monitor the environment to assess whether conditions help/hinder goals. If situations are favorable they experience positive emotions and vice versa.
Action Tendencies
Behaviors we perform based on emotions to close the gap between appraised situation and our goals.
Anger
Attack–>conquer a barrier to our goals
Sadness
Retreat–> provide time to adjust to loss
Happiness
Approach–> take advantage of favorable circumstances
Fear
Seek protection (fight/flight/freeze)–> get away from those who saw our incompetence
Emotional Intelligence
The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions.
Framing Rules
Define the emotional meanings of situations
Feeling Rules
What we should expect to feel in situations
Emotion Work
Efforts to generate appropriate emotions
Interactive View of Emotions
Social rules and understandings shape what people feel and how they express their emotions
Hurt
An emotional blend of fear, sadness, and anger
Guilt
Involves a sense of remorse/regret (I DID something bad)
Shame
Results from believing that we are flawed and unworthy of love (I AM bad)
Communication Climate
The overall feeling/mood between people shaped by verbals, nonverbals, and context
Self-disclosure
The revelation of personal information about ourselves
Norm of Reciprocity
The expectation that people will reciprocate our self-disclosures
Social Penetration Theory
Description of relationship escalation that focuses on how communication allows partners to probe each others self-concepts
Commitment
Can be viewed as emotional attachment, a promise, or dedication
Have to
No alternatives, can’t leave partner
ought to
Moral obligation, can’t leave because of expectations of others
Want to
Emotional desire to stay with partner
Relational Dialectics
Tensions and contradicting wants in relationships
The Three Relational Dialectic Types
Autonomy vs connection; novelty vs predictability; openness vs closedness
Levels of Confirmation
Recognition, acknowledgement, endorsement of feelings
Conflict
Expressed disagreement, struggle, or discord
Expressed Tension
Conflict exists only if disagreements or tensions are expressed, verbally or non-verbally
Interdependence
Interpersonal conflict can only occur between people who perceive themselves as interdependent at the time of the conflict
Perceived Incompatible Goals
We experience conflict when we perceive that what we want is incompatible with what is wanted by a person with whom we are interdependent
Levels on Conflict
Problematic Behavior, relationship roles, undesirable trait
Conflict Goals
Outcomes a person hopes to achieve at the end of a dispute
Types of Conflict Goals
Instrumental, relational, identity, process
Destructive vs. Constructive Process
Personalities vs behaviors; latent vs manifest; inflexible vs flexible
Conflict Strategies
Exit, neglect, loyalty, voice
4 Conflict Styles
Dominating, integrating, obliging, avoiding
The Chilling Effect
When people who have less power than their partner withhold complaints to avoid conflict and perceive their complaints as less serious
Grace
Granting forgiveness or unearned kindness
3 Characteristics of Grace
Is a choice not an obligation, distinct from reconciliation and reunion, given without strings attached
Kitchen-sinking
An unproductive form of conflict communication in which “everything but the kitchen sink” is thrown into the argument
Closeness through Dialogue
Closeness through self-disclosure. Typically a feminine approach
Closeness through Doing
Closeness through shared activities. Typically a masculine approach
Development of Trust
Based on dependability, emotional responsibility, individual histories, family scripts, willingness to take risks. Develops gradually and in degrees
Social Support in Friendship
We want to know we’re not alone. Listening to problems, being available
Relational Rules
Expectations for a relationship
Friendship Deterioration
Abrupt ending vs gradual waning
Eros
Love style focused on beauty and sexuality
Ludus
Love styles involving a game
Storge
Love that is peaceful and grounded in friendship
Mania
Love that is dramatic, involving elation and depression
Agape
Love that is compassionate and selfless
Pragme
Love that is practical and meets specific criteria
Relational Culture
Developing traditions, ways of communicating, rules/rituals
Placemaking
Creating a space that both feel represents them
Gottman’s 4 horsement of the Apocalypse
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling
Marital Types
Independent, separate, traditional, mixed
Love Languages
Gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service
