Final

Question 1

Why are make-out games dangerous to us psychologically?

Answer 1

can confuse hormones, lead to manipulation, easy to go too far

Question 2

What’s the best way to handle an awkward social situation with someone you’re attracted to that involves too much kissing?

Answer 2

talk about it & set a boundary

Question 3

Should you reveal a less than perfect past to someone you’re considering marrying?

Answer 3

absolutely

Question 4

In what ways is modern technology affecting relationships?

Answer 4

access to pornography, distraction from relationship, excuse to avoid conflict

Question 5

Review the compulsive cycle

Answer 5

trigger (negative emotion) –> self-indulge –> shame –> conceal –> repeat

Question 6

What exactly is romantic ideation and why is it dangerous?

Answer 6

when you create the idea of someone in your mind who can do no wrong

Question 7

How is pornography harmful to relationships?

Answer 7

no one is really over it, everyone has been exposed, impacts expectations

Question 8

Review your notes on engagement. How long should it be?

Answer 8

depends on the couple

Question 9

What are realistic expectations?

Answer 9

expect stress

Question 10

Why is engagement sometimes stressful?

Answer 10

moms, how each partner wants things done, transitioning to life after the wedding, pleasing everyone

Question 11

When should you call an engagement off?

Answer 11

once you cannot work a detrimental issue

Question 12

Review notes on the wedding day

Answer 12

will be stressful, focus on the two of you, sealing is the most important part, don’t forget the rings or marriage license

Question 13

What are realistic wedding day expectations?

Answer 13

stress, nervousness, will go fast, sealing could be overwhelming/easy to forget the details

Question 14

How can you prepare for a temple sealing?

Answer 14

read the proclamation together, each pick a worthy priesthood holder as a witness & pick an escort, come with hair & makeup done, someone write down what is said, get marriage license up to 30 days prior

Question 15

How can you prepare for your wedding night?

Answer 15

talk about it, birth control, focus on kissing, don’t have expectations, turn off the brain, go slow

Question 16

What qualities lead to a happy physical intimacy in marriage?

Answer 16

selflessness, less is more, be honest

Question 17

How important are emotional needs in relationships?

Answer 17

extremely

Question 18

What’s a dialect?

Answer 18

a specific way your spouse likes their love language spoken

Question 19

What are the five love languages?

Answer 19

Physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service

Question 20

What are the three types of relationships discussed in the article “Marriage is for Losers”?

Answer 20

Win/win
Win/lose
Lose/lose

Question 21

If you wish to avoid infidelity in marriage, what should you watch out for?

Answer 21

sexual tension, looks forward to seeing them, secretive, fantasizes about them, confides in them

Question 22

Is it possible to violate trust without committing adultery?

Answer 22

yes

Question 23

What are idealized relationships and how do they get us in trouble?

Answer 23

…

Question 24

What are some of the important transitions to marriage?

Answer 24

finances & how to handle conflict

Question 25

Can challenges in marriage serve a positive purpose? If so, what purpose?

Answer 25

yes, brings you closer & you learn about each other

Question 26

What are some of the warning signs that you might be developing in an inappropriate on-line relationship?

Answer 26

confiding in them, talking too much, discussing your marriage, hiding it, making excuses/justifying

Question 27

Review your notes on conflict

Answer 27

communication holes, $, in-law drama, parenting styles, ho-hum phenomenon, self-interest, learning how to really love

Question 28

What are the three types of collusion?

Answer 28

Blame/blame
Pursue/withdraw
Withdraw/withdraw

Question 29

What is flooding?

Answer 29

Husband feels threatened b/c wife is emotional (elevated heart rate, adrenaline, elevated testosterone)

Question 30

What is our natural reaction to a perceived threat?

Answer 30

Fight or flight

Question 31

What are some productive conflict management skills?

Answer 31

Deal w/ it quickly
Try to really understand
Work it out w/ them
Simplify
Own your behavior
Timeout
Validate

Question 32

Understand collusion and self-deception

Answer 32

collusion: a dysfunctional relationship that often emerges from conflict situations

self-deception: the problem beneath all your problems

Question 33

What is objectification?

Answer 33

when you turn someone into an object in your mind

Question 34

Can you be in the box with yourself?

Answer 34

Yes

Question 35

What should you do if your box reflects the truth?

Answer 35

understand it is normal; gives you a reason to get out of the box

Question 36

What if getting out of the box means you can be seriously hurt?

Answer 36

it’s worth the sacrifice

just because you’re out of the box doesn’t mean you have to be their friend

Question 37

What qualities are needed to get out of the box?

Answer 37

selflessness, want to care, want out, choosing God’s way, humility, change of heart, see the other as a person

Question 38

What’s the best way to help someone else get out of the box?

Answer 38

show them they WANT out

Question 39

Why can’t you just educate yourself out of the box?

Answer 39

it takes more than just knowing what to do

Question 40

What’s the best way to break up the collusion cycle?

Answer 40

work your way out of the box

choose the higher way

Question 41

What four things does Spencer W. Kimball suggest that you do in order to have the marriage you want?

Answer 41

1. marry well
2. practice great unselfishness
3. continue courting
4. practice living the gospel