Final Flashcards
What do you do when your friend is ill?
- Don’t just offer to do
* Make offer specific
What is the difference between grief and mourning?
- Grief is the internal experience of the process. All of the emotions we feel which are common to grief, such as sadness, anger, depression and loneliness are inside of us and may need help to be expressed.
- Everyone grieves at some time, while not everyone mourns, but they should.
- Mourning is the external or shared experience of the process. In mourning, we allow some or all of these feelings to emerge and be expressed to another trusted person.
- Many people are afraid to mourn. Everyone mourns differently and for different lengths of time.
What are two determinants to grief?
1) Significance of the relationship
2) Amount of unfinished business
What are the 5 STAGES OF GRIEF?
1) Shock/ Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
What are the 4 TASKS OF MOURNING?
1) Accept the reality of the loss
2) Experience the pain of grief
3) Adjust to the new environment
4) Withdraw emotional energy and invest in new relationships
What are the GOALS of the GRIEF PROCESS?
1) Purpose
2) Identity
What is INCORPORATED OF THE GRIEF PROCESS (NOT covered in class)?
1) Crisis
2) Separation
3) Transition
4) Incorporation
Caregiver Don’ts (know a few not all)
- Avoid the grieving person because you don’t know what to say.
- Say, “Don’t cry” or “Be brave”. This may cause the grieving person to repress sad feelings.
- Use cliché’s. Trite statements, or euphemisms. Avoid statements such as “He is at rest”. “Be glad it’s over…” “Time heals all wounds” or “God knows best.
- Be afraid of tears. Grieving persons seldom forget those with whom they’ve shed tears.
- Say, “I know how you feel.” Each person’s grief is unique and no one can totally understand another’s grief.
- Make statements or ask questions that induce guilt or affix blame.
- Change the subject when the grieving person talks about his or her loved one.
- Tell the grieving his or her loss is God’s will. Most grieving persons are troubled by that statement, but are too polite to say so.
- Try to answer the question…WHY?
- Discount the loss of a baby or a child by reminding grieving parents they can have other children or be glad they have other children.
- Attempt to minimize the loss of a baby through miscarriage, still-birth or early infant death. Parents experience the death of their dreams and hopes for the future embodied in their wished-for baby. The age makes little difference. Their pain is just as great.
- Encourage the grieving person to “get over it” because of your discomfort with his or her depressed state.
What are the GUIDELINES to support your GRIEVING FRIEND?
Guidelines to effectively support your grieving friend
1) Allow your friend to talk
2) You should be more occupied with comforting than with counseling
3) Accept the mood swings your friend may have
4) Help your friend focus on Jesus Christ who is our hope
5) Allow your friend to establish their own pattern of grieving
6) Try to identify times of the day that are especially hard for your friend
7) Go beyond saying, “If there’s anything I can do, give me a call.
8) Help out with obligations they may have.
9) If there are children involved, be available to do anything for them that you would do for your friend
What are the BILL OF RIGHTS OF GRIEF?
1) You have the right to experience your own unique grief
2) You have the right to talk about your grief.
3) You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions
4) You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional
5) You have the right to experience grief “attacks”
6) You have the right to make use of ritual
7) You have the right to embrace your spirituality
8) You have the right to search for meaning
9) You have the right to treasure your memories
10) You have the right to move toward your grief and heal
What are Wardle’s 5 PRINCIPLES for APPROACHING SIN? (Wardle, pp. 159-61)
1) Follow the spirit- what is the spirit saying
2) Remember the wound behind the sin
3) Be humble – be gentle
4) Expose the sin in the light of Christ
5) Keep Jesus as the focus (not sin) - health and wholeness and healing
What are Wardle’s 5 PRINCIPLES for APPROACHING SIN?
Know Wardle’s five principles for approaching sin (Wardle 159-161)
1) Follow the spirit- what is the spirit saying
2) Remember the wound behind the sin
3) Be humble – be gentle
4) Expose the sin in the light of Christ
5) Keep Jesus as the focus (not sin) - health and wholeness and healing
According TSA O and R on Marriage…what are the LEGAL REQUIREMENTS for the SA Officer?
- Officer who is to conduct a Salvation Army wedding is responsible for ensuring that the correct legal procedures and declarations are accurately followed.
- Consult with headquarters should any point not be clear.
- In some countries the legal validity of a marriage can depend upon the status of the person conducting the ceremony. Elsewhere, specific requirements are sometimes laid down as to the place or building in which the marriage is to be solemnized. In many countries the law sets out certain declarations which the parties to the marriage are required to make and documents which they must sign.
According to TSA O and R on Marriage…what is the Officer’s responsibility related to the ARTICLES OF MARRIAGE?
- In the case of Salvationists, the articles of marriage should also be read and explained.
- By means of these articles, Salvationists not only make vows to each other, but also affirm publicly their joint dedication to God and his service.
- Both bride and bridegroom should understand that a Salvationist wedding includes these articles.
According to TSA O and R on Marriage…what is the requirement for TSA Officer on PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING?
The officiating officer or the corps officer should ensure that the couple have received adequate Christian pre-marriage counseling.
