exam 3 Flashcards
can you spoil your child with love
no
what is the strongest and most consistent predictor of childrens mental health, adjustment, happiness, and well-being
the level of involvement
parents should be involved in their children’s lives but not
intrusive
what can help alleviate some of the stressors on single mothers ?
social supports like material items such as diapers, food, and babysitting
internal support such as a friend to talk to about children
what is a traditional family
a two parent family with a mom and dad who are usually in their 30s or 40s raising their biological children
what is the next biggest family structure group?
single parents
what percentage of families currently are traditional
59%
what percentage of mothers work outside the home
65%
what percentage of these mothers are the primary breadwinners for the the family
40%
of single parents which is more common- single mothers or fathers ?
mothers
why a mother is singe greatly influences what?
- the quality of parenting
2. how the children are influenced
what are the 3 main reasons that a parent might be single
- the parent never married
- the parent has been separated or divorced
- the spouse died
what are the 4 main stressors of single mothers
- financial problems
- troubled relationships
- demands of parenting
- lack of time for rest or other self care tasks
compare typical single fathers to married fathers
single fathers are usually younger, less educated, less affluent
why is a father most likely to be single ?
divorce
list 5 description descriptors of teen mothers
often competent caregivers
warm and responsive
can discipline reasonably
less likely to talk to and cognitively stimulate their infants
experience pregnancy and parenthood as a crisis (unintended)
list the 5 types of adoptions
domestic international foster care or special needs transracial kinship
how can gay and lesbian parents become parents
- already has a child from a previous heterosexual relationship
- ART
- Adoption
major difference between adoptive and biological parents
♣ Adoptive parents have to be certified as fit parents whereas biological parents do not
two types of parents
emotion dismissing
emotion coaching
predictors of life longevity
not genetics; the quality of your closest relationships
cons of labeling kids
labels become a self fulfilling prophecy, kids believe almost anything parents tell them
5 steps of emotion coaching
♣ Become aware of the child’s emotion
♣ Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
♣ Listen empathetic, validating the child’s feelings
♣ Help the child find words to label the emotion he is having
♣ Set limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand
what is mindful parenting
parenting that is intentional, where the consequences of your actions toward your child are the ones you’ve actually intended rather than those that just happened by chance
good parenting is parenting that fosters
♣ Psychological adjustment
♣ helps children succeed in school
♣ deters children from antisocial behavior
♣ helps protect children
fundamentals of parenting are the same regardless of what
♣ Gender of child
♣ age of child
♣ sibling status of child
♣ gender of primary parent
o Children will always follow the rule, do as I say not as I do…right? Which part of Principle 1 would either support or contradict this statement?
♣ As a parent you are always “on stage”. Children look to parents as a guidance in a wide variety of situations. Children are inclined to mimic their parents behavior.
can you spoil your children with love
no
o What we often think of as the product of “spoiling a child” is NEVER the result of showing a child TOO MUCH LOVE. It is usually the result of things like:
♣ Leniency (children need limits)
♣ Lowered expectations (do this as a way to try to be nice)
♣ Material possessions (toys or food or gifts used to substitute for genuine affection or attention)
o The STRONGEST and MOST CONSISTENT predictor of children’s mental health, adjustment, happiness, and well-being is…
the level of involvement
o Of all the ways parents can be involved in their children’s lives, probably the most important is
their schooling
o Parents should be involved in their children’s lives, not…
intrusive
o Good parenting is _________ and needs to be tailored to fit with children’s stage of development.
flexible
o The 4 major spurts TEND to (not always) happen during 4 big transition periods, usually around:
♣ 2 or 3 ♣ 6 ♣ 12 ♣ 16 These are physical and physiological growth spurts.
o The most important thing that children need from their parents is….LOVE! A close 2nd is …
structure
o What is THE most important deterrent that parents have against their children getting into trouble?
♣ is knowing their children’s activities, companions, and whereabouts.
o When should monitoring occur related to a child’s plans away from home?
Before- what children’s plans are before they head out
During- having an understanding about how you all will handle times when there is change of plans or when a situation did not develop as you thought it would.
After - know what actually happened when children were away from home
millennial are going to college and entering the workforce more or less prepared than ever?
less prepared
why are millennial burned out as freshmen and sophomores in college?
It is possible because, as a culture, we have focused so much on children’s success (by our definition of success) that we have quit focusing on the children themselves.
what is something levine really focuses on in the book?
to not just be happy but have well being
what does our definition success usually involve
academics
what is part one of the levine book primarily about ?
exploring how we currently define success and the pros and cons of that definition
what is part 2 of the levine book primarily about?
the 3 distinct periods of childhood: elementary school, middle school, and high school
what is a task of early childhood that weaves together many of the important points from levine’s book?
remembering to play
many children are not give enough opportunities to __________ in age appropriate ways. this leads to a sense of overconfidence in abilities instead of being able to recognize areas that may need improvement
fail
bouncing back from failure ; not inborn, must be learned
resilience
what current practices tend to focus on
our children being smart
would you rather your child be SMART or GOOD
if one had to label the parenting style levine describes throughout this book it would be true ________
authoritative parenting style
high expectations, and high levels of warmth, acceptance, and involvement
in Dr Rutledge’s review she states that Levine’s book is a useful practical resource but it is also a __________
battle cry for us to wake up and recognize the DISSERVICE that our society is doing to children
what can we do about the situation of sending children into the future ill-prepared and burned out?
reframe our expectations
redefine success
rethink the way we parent
parent that disengages, ridicules, or curbs all negative emotions, feels uncertainty and fears feeling out of control, uses distraction, feels that emotions are unhealthy, uses the passage of time as a replacement fro problem solving is a ___________
emotion-dismissing parent
o Pros and cons of parents apologizing to their children
Pros: showing your kids that you as a parent are not perfect either; reassuring them that it is okay to not be perfect; not setting unrealistic expectations
Cons: having them take advantage of the situation in proving you wrong
in the key steps of emotion coaching, step 5. set limits while exploring strategies to problem solve, list the 5 steps
- set limits
- identify goals
- think of possible solutions
- evaluate your solutions based on family values
- help child choose a solution
to become aware of your child’s emotion, you must
be aware of and comfortable with your own emotions
recognizing emotions as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching for children shows them
that you are their ally and they don’t have to face their problems alone
what are some ways to listen empathetically and validate the child’s feelings
- with ears for information
- with eyes for physical evidence
- with imagination to see from their perspective
- with words to reflect and help label emotions
- simple observations
helping the child to find words to label their emotions goes hand in hand with _______; it is NOT telling kids how they _______ to feel
empathy ; OUGHT
