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parenting > exam 3 > Flashcards

exam 3 Flashcards

1
Q

can you spoil your child with love

A

no

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2
Q

what is the strongest and most consistent predictor of childrens mental health, adjustment, happiness, and well-being

A

the level of involvement

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3
Q

parents should be involved in their children’s lives but not

A

intrusive

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4
Q

what can help alleviate some of the stressors on single mothers ?

A

social supports like material items such as diapers, food, and babysitting

internal support such as a friend to talk to about children

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5
Q

what is a traditional family

A

a two parent family with a mom and dad who are usually in their 30s or 40s raising their biological children

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6
Q

what is the next biggest family structure group?

A

single parents

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7
Q

what percentage of families currently are traditional

A

59%

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8
Q

what percentage of mothers work outside the home

A

65%

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9
Q

what percentage of these mothers are the primary breadwinners for the the family

A

40%

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10
Q

of single parents which is more common- single mothers or fathers ?

A

mothers

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11
Q

why a mother is singe greatly influences what?

A
  1. the quality of parenting

2. how the children are influenced

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12
Q

what are the 3 main reasons that a parent might be single

A
  1. the parent never married
  2. the parent has been separated or divorced
  3. the spouse died
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13
Q

what are the 4 main stressors of single mothers

A
  1. financial problems
  2. troubled relationships
  3. demands of parenting
  4. lack of time for rest or other self care tasks
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14
Q

compare typical single fathers to married fathers

A

single fathers are usually younger, less educated, less affluent

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15
Q

why is a father most likely to be single ?

A

divorce

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16
Q

list 5 description descriptors of teen mothers

A

often competent caregivers

warm and responsive

can discipline reasonably

less likely to talk to and cognitively stimulate their infants

experience pregnancy and parenthood as a crisis (unintended)

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17
Q

list the 5 types of adoptions

A 
domestic 
international 
foster care or special needs 
transracial
kinship
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18
Q

how can gay and lesbian parents become parents

A
  • already has a child from a previous heterosexual relationship
  • ART
  • Adoption
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19
Q

major difference between adoptive and biological parents

A

♣ Adoptive parents have to be certified as fit parents whereas biological parents do not

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20
Q

two types of parents

A

emotion dismissing

emotion coaching

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21
Q

predictors of life longevity

A

not genetics; the quality of your closest relationships

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22
Q

cons of labeling kids

A

labels become a self fulfilling prophecy, kids believe almost anything parents tell them

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23
Q

5 steps of emotion coaching

A

♣ Become aware of the child’s emotion
♣ Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
♣ Listen empathetic, validating the child’s feelings
♣ Help the child find words to label the emotion he is having
♣ Set limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand

24
Q

what is mindful parenting

A

parenting that is intentional, where the consequences of your actions toward your child are the ones you’ve actually intended rather than those that just happened by chance

25
Q

good parenting is parenting that fosters

A

♣ Psychological adjustment
♣ helps children succeed in school
♣ deters children from antisocial behavior
♣ helps protect children

26
Q

fundamentals of parenting are the same regardless of what

A

♣ Gender of child
♣ age of child
♣ sibling status of child
♣ gender of primary parent

27
Q

o Children will always follow the rule, do as I say not as I do…right? Which part of Principle 1 would either support or contradict this statement?

A

♣ As a parent you are always “on stage”. Children look to parents as a guidance in a wide variety of situations. Children are inclined to mimic their parents behavior.

28
Q

can you spoil your children with love

A

no

29
Q

o What we often think of as the product of “spoiling a child” is NEVER the result of showing a child TOO MUCH LOVE. It is usually the result of things like:

A

♣ Leniency (children need limits)
♣ Lowered expectations (do this as a way to try to be nice)
♣ Material possessions (toys or food or gifts used to substitute for genuine affection or attention)

30
Q

o The STRONGEST and MOST CONSISTENT predictor of children’s mental health, adjustment, happiness, and well-being is…

A

the level of involvement

31
Q

o Of all the ways parents can be involved in their children’s lives, probably the most important is

A

their schooling

32
Q

o Parents should be involved in their children’s lives, not…

A

intrusive

33
Q

o Good parenting is _________ and needs to be tailored to fit with children’s stage of development.

A

flexible

34
Q

o The 4 major spurts TEND to (not always) happen during 4 big transition periods, usually around:

A 
♣	2 or 3
♣	6 
♣	 12
♣	 16
These are physical and physiological growth spurts.
35
Q

o The most important thing that children need from their parents is….LOVE! A close 2nd is …

A

structure

36
Q

o What is THE most important deterrent that parents have against their children getting into trouble?

A

♣ is knowing their children’s activities, companions, and whereabouts.

37
Q

o When should monitoring occur related to a child’s plans away from home?

A

Before- what children’s plans are before they head out

During- having an understanding about how you all will handle times when there is change of plans or when a situation did not develop as you thought it would.

After - know what actually happened when children were away from home

38
Q

millennial are going to college and entering the workforce more or less prepared than ever?

A

less prepared

39
Q

why are millennial burned out as freshmen and sophomores in college?

A

It is possible because, as a culture, we have focused so much on children’s success (by our definition of success) that we have quit focusing on the children themselves.

40
Q

what is something levine really focuses on in the book?

A

to not just be happy but have well being

41
Q

what does our definition success usually involve

A

academics

42
Q

what is part one of the levine book primarily about ?

A

exploring how we currently define success and the pros and cons of that definition

43
Q

what is part 2 of the levine book primarily about?

A

the 3 distinct periods of childhood: elementary school, middle school, and high school

44
Q

what is a task of early childhood that weaves together many of the important points from levine’s book?

A

remembering to play

45
Q

many children are not give enough opportunities to __________ in age appropriate ways. this leads to a sense of overconfidence in abilities instead of being able to recognize areas that may need improvement

A

fail

46
Q

bouncing back from failure ; not inborn, must be learned

A

resilience

47
Q

what current practices tend to focus on

A

our children being smart

would you rather your child be SMART or GOOD

48
Q

if one had to label the parenting style levine describes throughout this book it would be true ________

A

authoritative parenting style

high expectations, and high levels of warmth, acceptance, and involvement

49
Q

in Dr Rutledge’s review she states that Levine’s book is a useful practical resource but it is also a __________

A

battle cry for us to wake up and recognize the DISSERVICE that our society is doing to children

50
Q

what can we do about the situation of sending children into the future ill-prepared and burned out?

A

reframe our expectations
redefine success
rethink the way we parent

51
Q

parent that disengages, ridicules, or curbs all negative emotions, feels uncertainty and fears feeling out of control, uses distraction, feels that emotions are unhealthy, uses the passage of time as a replacement fro problem solving is a ___________

A

emotion-dismissing parent

52
Q

o Pros and cons of parents apologizing to their children

A

Pros: showing your kids that you as a parent are not perfect either; reassuring them that it is okay to not be perfect; not setting unrealistic expectations
Cons: having them take advantage of the situation in proving you wrong

53
Q

in the key steps of emotion coaching, step 5. set limits while exploring strategies to problem solve, list the 5 steps

A
  1. set limits
  2. identify goals
  3. think of possible solutions
  4. evaluate your solutions based on family values
  5. help child choose a solution
54
Q

to become aware of your child’s emotion, you must

A

be aware of and comfortable with your own emotions

55
Q

recognizing emotions as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching for children shows them

A

that you are their ally and they don’t have to face their problems alone

56
Q

what are some ways to listen empathetically and validate the child’s feelings

A
  • with ears for information
  • with eyes for physical evidence
  • with imagination to see from their perspective
  • with words to reflect and help label emotions
  • simple observations
57
Q

helping the child to find words to label their emotions goes hand in hand with _______; it is NOT telling kids how they _______ to feel

A

empathy ; OUGHT

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