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Exam 3 Flashcards

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Conversation Starters flashcards
1
Q

Causes of stresses/strain

A

political climate, family issues, monetary issues, etc

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2
Q

What fuels relationship stressors

A

Our need to belong. May suggest we are not as well-liked as we assume

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3
Q

Consequences of relationship stresses

A

poorer mental health and well- being, worse relationship satisfaction, more dissolution.

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4
Q

Perceived relational value

A

The degree to which others consider their relationships with a person to be valuable, important, or close.

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5
Q

When is perceived relational value detrimental? Beneficial?

A

When perceived relational value is lower than expectations. Beneficial if perceived value is higher than expectations.

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6
Q

7 degrees of relational evaluation

A

1) Maximal inclusion
2) Active inclusion
3) passive inclusion
4) ambivalence
5) passive exclusion
6)active exclusion
7) maximal exclusion

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7
Q

Emotional reactions are dependent on…

A

How much a person wants to be accepted by certain others. individual acceptance/rejection value is important.

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8
Q

exclusion due to positive regard vs exclusion due to negative regard:

A

pos regard: excluding someone because they’re too smart, strong, etc. often not particularly harmful.
neg regard: excluding because someone is disliked, hated, etc. Particularly harmful- often causes relationship stress/strain

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9
Q

What happens when we are rejected?

A

Self worth plummets. No differences for when someone dislikes us a lot vs a little. We are sensitive to acceptance- more liked: better we feel

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10
Q

Pattern of increasing rejection:

A

particularly detrimental. More negative emotional reactions. Worse than constant rejection. difficult to break pattern.

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11
Q

Pattern of decreasing acceptance:

A

particularly detrimental. relational devaluation-drops in perceived relational value. Decrease in other’s regard for us. Results in feeling sad, angry, frustrated, and hurt. difficult to break pattern.

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12
Q

Experiences of hurt:

A

often similar to physical pain. distinct emotional experience. pain meds can relieve emotional pain

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13
Q

Differences in experiences of hurt based on attachment style

A

anxious- experience more hurt from drops in relational value
avoidant- experience less hurt from drops in relational value. i.e- exclusion is less impactful if goal isn’t to be close.

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14
Q

Ostracism

A

intentional ignorance of a person. 67% people have been ostracized.

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15
Q

how is ostracism justified?

A

Justified as a way to calm down (beneficial) or to punish partner/avoid confrontation (detrimental). People often perceive it will help them achieve a goal.

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16
Q

How is ostracism more detrimental than beneficial?

A

threatens basic social needs, damages self-worth and feelings, increases cortisol. Detrimental even from strangers, and even if the ostracism is only perceived.

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17
Q

Jealousy

A

Thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, or concern over a perceived loss of a social connection or relationship. Common human experience, even young children display jealousy.

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18
Q

Jealousy in romantic relationships

A

romantic rivals may threaten to lure a partner away. Anger based on feeling unloved, unwanted, or cast aside.

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19
Q

Reactive jealousy

A

Becoming aware of a threat to a valued relationship. May have happened in the past, present, or be anticipated. Eg: flirting with another person.

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20
Q

Suspicious jealousy

A

When there is no actual break of relationship standards. Suspicious do not align with reality. Common for those who are anxiously attached. Can be extreme, like paranoia. May lead to spying behavior- trying to find evidence of cheating.

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21
Q

People are more likely to be jealous if:

A

more dependent on relationship. Feelings of inadequacy-low self esteem. Higher in neuroticism, and overly anxious. Preoccupied/anxious attachment and fearful/disorganized attachment.

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22
Q

Causes of jealousy

A

any perceived rival who surpasses us in accomplishments we care about or who has achieved things we wish we had. based on expectations and comparison levels.

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23
Q

Mate poaching

A

behavior intended to attract someone who is already in a romantic relationship. relatively common. Both men and women disapprove of sexual and emotional infidelity.

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24
Q

Deception

A

intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue. occurs more frequently in romantic relationships.

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25
Q

Lying

A

fabricating information and making statements that contradict the truth. May conceal info, divert attention, be half-truths. Can be relatively effective based on individual skill, but detrimental if individual learns truth.

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26
Q

Lying and relationships

A

When lying, we often perceive recipient as less honest and trustworthy. Often can get away with lying in close relationships. We assume we’re better at lying than our partner is.

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27
Q

Fewer lies=

A

More satisfying relationship. Betrayal if lie is detected

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28
Q

Lying likelihood

A

More likely to lie if outgoing and sociable and insecurely attached

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29
Q

Lying skill is dependent on what?

A

Social skills and motivation

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30
Q

Common lies for men/women

A

men-finances and height
Women- physical attractiveness and weight

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31
Q

Detecting lies

A

often shorter and less detailed (although too much detail can backfire). More difficult to tell with people we don’t know.

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32
Q

Detecting lies & nonverbal behaviors

A

speaking in a higher pitch, grammatical errors, slips of the tongue, dilated pupils, blinking frequently, usually cannot tell by facial expression alone.

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33
Q

When might betrayal be unavoidable?

A

If there are overlapping obligations

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34
Q

Betrayal

A

hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we did not expect such misbehavior. Lasting impacts on relationship-may result in dissolution.

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35
Q

Coping with betrayal

A

owning up to it, reinterpreting in a positive manner, relying on friends/seeking social support.

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36
Q

Detrimental ways of coping

A

seeking revenge- can increase rumination which leads to less relationship and less life satisfaction

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37
Q

forgiveness

A

decision to give up perceive or actual right to get even with, or hold in debt, someone who has wronged you

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38
Q

when is forgiveness beneficial?

A

when people are worthy of forgiveness

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39
Q

when is forgiveness detrimental?

A

When it is happening regularly, and when one person is aways seeking/receiving forgiveness

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40
Q

Who is more likely to forgive?

A

People who are securely attached, close to their partner, and highly agreeable

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41
Q

Conflict

A

When one person’s motives, goals, beliefs, opinions, or behaviors interferes with or are incompatible with those of another

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42
Q

Conflict is _____

A

-inevitable-regardless of care, concern, or love.
-influential- may enhance, erode, love, and positive regard
-born from dissimilarity.

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43
Q

intermittent incompatibilities

A

moods or preferences of any two people will inevitably differ. Certain tensions will always cause some strain

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44
Q

Dialects

A

opposing motivations that encourage you to engage or not engage in a behavior. inherently contradict each other and account for 1/3rd of fights. Need to be balanced for optimal stability

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45
Q

Autonomy and connection

A

Wanting to be free and do as you wish or wanting to be warm/close to others. Preferences may change over time. Better to be near the middle

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46
Q

Openness and closedness

A

openly sharing thoughts/feelings/beliefs or keeping this information personal. Intimacy inherently involves self-disclosure. Should not be expected to share everything. Balance of transparency and discretion.

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47
Q

Stability and change

A

urge to keep situation stable or to change current station. Humans want to maintain and protect relationships. prefer stability but also prefer novelty/excitement. Too much predictability-boring, too much change-potential conflict.

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48
Q

Integration and separation

A

Urge to integrate with outside people or to not integrate. Eg: staying at home or going out with friends. Often difficult to balance or choose.

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49
Q

conflict frequency of dating couples vs spouses

A

dating- 2.3 conflicts per week
Spouses- 7 conflicts every 2 weeks

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50
Q

Unresolved conflict

A

Occurs more than most realize- leads to poorer relationship satisfaction

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51
Q

Individual causes of conflict

A

1)Personality- high neuroticism: more unhappy disagreements
2) attachment style- anxious: more conflict, manage worse
3) Stage of life- young adults: many life changes/external factors
4) Similarity- less similar=more conflict

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52
Q

Topics of conflict that account for more than 20% each

A

money (19%), kids (38%), household (25%), Leisure (20%), communication (22%).

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53
Q

Instigating events:

A

1) Criticism- verbal/nonverbal acts judged as demeaning regardless of intent
2) illegitimate demands- seemingly unjust requests that exceed normal expectation held by partner
3) Rebuffs- when a partner is looking for a response and does not receive it (i.e. sex)
4) cumulative annoyances- small, recurring annoyances that build up over time

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54
Q

attributional conflict

A

fighting over which partner’s explanation is right or wrong. difficult to resolve because of perceived bias. More perceived bias-more frustration. nothing to do with intelligence and not usually one “correct” explanation

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55
Q

venting:

A

usually hurtful- our brains are emotionally flooded making it hard to process. Going off about everything that makes you made. Both venting person and target are stressed and angry. More harmful than good

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56
Q

How to avoid venting

A

calm down first, then express reasons for anger. Time out and deep breaths, reframe situation, look for humor, etc. This avoids rumination.

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57
Q

Engagement and Escalation

A

Avoidance- both partners want to avoid issue
negotiation- seeking to resolve conflict through problem solving
escalation- conflict heating up

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58
Q

Two tactics when fighting

A

Direct- explicitly challenging your partner (accusations, hostile demands, etc)
Indirect- challenging your partner in a veiled manner (condensation, whining, changing subject, etc)

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59
Q

Demand/withdrawal patterns

A

One partner demands, criticizes or nags (direct) and other partner withdraws, avoids, or is defensive (indirect). Demand often women, withdrawal often men. The demander is typically the one raising the issue.

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60
Q

consequence of demand/withdrawal pattern

A

over time, it undermines relationship satisfaction. Dysfunctional way to manage conflict

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61
Q

Negotiation

A

Partners announce positions and work toward solution in a sensible manner. Direct- showing willingness by accepting responsibility. Indirect- friendly, non-sarcastic humor that lightens the mood.

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62
Q

Accommodation

A

ability to remain constructive in the face of a person’s temporary disregard. Constructive- changing behavior or waiting for conditions to improve. Destructive- threatening to end relationship or avoid discussion altogether.

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63
Q

Volatile couples

A

Frequent and passionate arguments; negative affect and temper. Exchange negative info, balance with affection and humor. Highly emotional

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64
Q

Validators

A

polite fights, collaborate, don’t antagonize. More positive than negative conflicts. Not ignoring conflict

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65
Q

Avoiders

A

Rarely argue, conflict is tentative and mild. Not amiable, little negativity to overcome. May be repressing issues.

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66
Q

hostiles

A

hostile and caustic arguments. criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal. Inherently meaner to one another. These couples are more likely to fail

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67
Q

What do volatiles, validators, and avoiders have in common?

A

if they abide by the 5:1 ratio, they will often last, whereas this doesn’t work for hostiles.

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68
Q

Outcomes of conflict

A

1) separation- occurs when both partners withdraw before resolution (stonewalling)
2) domination- one partner gives in
3) compromise- both partners settle for lesser, but acceptable outcome
4) integrative agreements- creative manner of giving both partners what they want (not easy to reach)
5) structural improvements- results in an overall change in relationship to reduce stressors. infrequently happens.

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69
Q

Power

A

ability to influence behaviors of others and to resist their influence on us

70
Q

what is power based on?

A

Control of valuable resources. Don’t have to own/possess resource, having access or perception of access is enough. Greater need desire of one person, greater power of the other.

71
Q

Power historically

A

in the U.S, 90% couples want equal power, but historically, heterosexual couples didn’t have equal power.

72
Q

When is power more equal?

A

In low SES relationships and in same-gender relationships.

73
Q

Power in heterosexual couples

A

face disparity in relative resources (money, income) because men are more likely to be paid more. Social norms support/maintain male dominance (patriarchy). Cultural traditions suggest it’s natural for men to have power.

74
Q

Principle of lesser interest

A

person with less interest in continuing relationship has more power. Depends on what and who is available- if what you want is readily available, less power over you. If fewer alternatives, you have less. If many alternatives, you have more power.

75
Q

Fate control

A

When one partner controls what happens to other partner no matter what. no alternatives and forces reliance. (isolating).

76
Q

Universalistic vs particularistic resources

A

Universalistic- can be exchanged with anyone
Particularistic- limited, unclear value. (These hold power because they’re unique to relationships).

76
Q

Behavior control

A

When a change in own behavior encourages partner to change their actions. Done with a manipulative intent instead of collaborative. Based on controllable resources (universalistic vs particularistic)

77
Q

Types of resources

A

1) Reward power
2) coercive power
3) Legitimate power
4) Referent power
5) Expert power
6) Informational power

78
Q

Reward power

A

you can give something to a person that they like and have power over them. Resource: any outcome that is rewarding

79
Q

coercive power

A

you can take away something or do something a person dislikes and have power over them. Resource: any outcome that is detrimental

80
Q

legitimate power

A

individual recognizes your authority over them. Resource: authority and/or norms of equity.

81
Q

Referent power

A

Individual feels attracted to you or wants to identify with you. role model. Resource: respect and/or love

82
Q

Expert Power

A

Person with power has broad understanding of your desire. Resource: expertise.

83
Q

Informational power

A

Person with power possesses specific knowledge you desire. Resource: information

84
Q

Why does power feel good?

A

Gives us control

85
Q

Powerful people

A

Used to getting what they want. Initiate negotiations instead of waiting. Less likely to compromise. Cheat more frequently and are more sexually desired.

86
Q

Powerlessness

A

Feels bad for most people and is related to negative mental health outcomes (depression, anxiety, fear, cautiousness).

87
Q

Verbals in process of power

A

Determined by power balance between two people

88
Q

Women speaking to men

A

women tend to not speak to men with same implicit strength and power they display toward other women. More tentative and less forceful.

88
Q

Men speaking to women

A

Men interrupt women more. Men used more assertive language and are less polite. Use fewer qualifiers and hedges, and use more vulgarities and directives.

88
Q

Nonverbals process of power

A

Powerful people use larger interpersonal distances, display more intense facial expressions, and assume postures that take us space.

88
Q

What power strategies to men/women use

A

men- direct and bilateral
women- indirect and unilateral

88
Q

Implementing power

A

1)direct strategies- explicitly asking for what you want
2)indirect strategies- hinting, manipulating, or pouting for what you want
3) bilateral- trying to involve the partner in getting what you want
4) unilateral- going out and getting it on your own

89
Q

violence

A

intention to do physical, psychological, and/or emotional harm to others. Can be minor or severe. Relatively common

89
Q

percent of men/women assaulted in 1950s

A

52% women and 66% men (by anyone). 22% women and 7% men by an intimate partner.

89
Q

Recent stats on violence

A

24% women and 14% men experience violence from a partner. Some form of violence occurs in 1 out of 4 couples. Some type of violence occurs in most relationships (emotional, physical, intentional, unintentional).

89
Q

gender in a couple and violence

A

more men -> more violence. Same-gender women: half as much violence. Same gender men: twice as much violence

90
Q

Cost of violence

A

In US, violence costs about 9 billion in medical care, psychological services, and lost time at work. Detrimental to life and relationship satisfaction.

91
Q

Situational couple violence

A

any violent act that happens as a direct result of situational circumstances (stressors). Most familiar to people, happens occasionally. E.g- heated argument gets out of hand. Arguments are mild, may escalate into violence.

92
Q

Intimate partner terrorism

A

One partner uses violence as a tool to control and oppress the other. Almost always perpetrated by men. Mutual violent control-fighting back against domestic abuse.

93
Q

Instigating triggers

A

cause partners to be frustrated. (jealousy, evoking events, betrayal, rejection)

94
Q

Impelling influences

A

events that create higher likelihood partner will experience violent outbursts. Ex- playing violent video games, childhood violence, bad communication. Mismatched attachment styles-more violence.

95
Q

Inhibiting influences

A

discouraging partners from acting on impulses. ex- cultural, disposition, good problem-solving skills

96
Q

what is the worst combination of attachment styles

A

avoidant with anxious

97
Q

Men who terrorize partners often:

A

feel clumsy and threats to keep partners from leaving. More antisocial and or narcissistic. Dark triad.

98
Q

Perpetrators of violence may:

A

witnessed violence at home, traditional gender role beliefs, hostile attitudes about women, more aggressive, low self-esteem, may also abuse pets or children.

99
Q

Facets of intimate terrorism:

A

1)isolation- control where partner goes, who they see, what they do
2) intimidation- threaten/harm something intrinsic to person
3) economic abuse- taking/controlling money, preventing employment
4) emotional abuse- humiliating, disregarding, blaming
5) minimizing-denying any abuse

100
Q

women and violence

A

more likely to engage in physical violence against partners. Will throw, bite, kick, or punch. More likely to use indirect aggression (emotional abuse).

101
Q

men and violence

A

more likely to do more damage. choke, strangle, bite. Most injuries suffered by women. More likely to rape/murder partner.

102
Q

barriers to leaving violence

A

inherently tied to interdependency. Low potential alternatives, many investments in relationship, lack of resources, threat of violence, some may perceive violence as normal (learned helplessness), expecting violence can become routine.

103
Q

Cycle of violence (will only stop with therapy or if victim leaves)

A

1) violence occurs
2) honeymoon phase (remorse, apologies, excuses, “it won’t happen again”)
3) rising tension (old feelings/thoughts come back, fighting increases, being critical/disrespectful towards partner, judgmental, personal anger incr).

104
Q

Divorce in the US

A

about 50% marriages end in divorce, but this stat includes multiple marriages. As # goes up, likelihood of divorce incr too. About 30% first marriages end in divorce. Exception: grey divorce

105
Q

Reasons for divorce decline

A

Fewer people marrying, more single parents and cohabitation, more women in workforce

106
Q

Avg marital length

A

18 years. Less than 50% reach 21 years.

106
Q

Length of overall marriages

A

50% marriages overall will last until death. 7/10 new marriages will last. 2/3rds couples married 10+ years

106
Q

Current marriage percent

A

only 50% population is currently married. lowest in U.S. history. 1/4 children live in single-parent homes.

107
Q

Grey divorce

A

adults 50 and up are increasingly getting divorced. In 1990, 1/10 older adults divorced. In 2008, 1/4 older adults divorced

107
Q

Casual cohabitation leads to:

A

less respect for marriage institution, less favorable marriage expectations, increased willingness to divorce

107
Q

What causes divorce?

A

higher expectations of partner, western culture is more individualistic, changing gender roles (economic independence of women, less stigma, no fault divorce), increased casual cohabitation, past experiences with divorce

107
Q

Causes for older divorce

A

Higher order marriages, being in shorter marriages, societal acceptance of divorce, being disabled (in individualistic cultures this is more stressful)

107
Q

Cohabitation and divorce

A

people who cohabit before engagement- more likely to divorce. Increases if had more cohabitation partners. 60% first marriages preceded by cohabitation. Changes beliefs and marriage expectations

107
Q

Levinger’s Barrier Model

A

Attraction is enhanced by rewards and diminished by costs.
Rewards- companionship, security, social status.
Costs- Incompatibility, time, investment, money.
Alternatives- Being with someone else or being single.
Barriers- Can be legal, social or moral. Psychological-guilt or embarrassment.
Other barriers- lose contact with children, against religious beliefs.

107
Q

Vulnerability-stress-adaptation model

A

Enduring vulnerabilities- adverse experiences in family of origin, poor education, poor social skills etc. More vulnerabilities- higher likelihood of divorce.
Adaptive process- ways people respond to stress
Stressful events- every relationship will experience some stressors. Even minor stressors can be detrimental if regularly occur. Copes must cope and adapt to stress. Failure to cope- higher likelihood of divorce

108
Q

Pair Project

A

168 couples followed for 13 years to measure marital adjustment. 35% divorced, 20% unhappy, 45% happily married.

109
Q

Enduring dynamics (pair project)

A

spouses bring problems and vulnerabilities into marriage. must adapt and cope; issues may be unresolvable.

110
Q

Emergent distress (pair project)

A

no noticeable problems at beginning, but occur over time. Issues may become insurmountable (may be cumulative annoyances, or turn into abuse)

111
Q

Disillusionment (pair project)

A

Couples begin relationship with too positive illusions. Loss of illusions- can be detrimental.

112
Q

Causesof divorce

A

(highest percent to least)
Infidelity, incompatibility, drinking/substance use, grew apart, personality problems, communication difficulties, physical/mental abuse, love was lost, don’t know.

113
Q

Socioeconomic status and divorce

A

people with low status occupations, less education, lower incomes will be more likely to divorce than higher SES. Women with “good” education less likely to divorce than women with poor education.

114
Q

Sex ratios and divorce

A

Around the world, divorce rates are higher when women outnumber men. More options for men.

115
Q

Working women and divorce

A

divorce rates increase when higher proportion of women enter the workforce. Women aren’t financially dependent on men.

116
Q

How do breakups/divorce happen?

A

Usually numerous complaints and mixed feelings. Long periods of dissatisfaction precedes dissolution. Initiated when people believe they’ll be better off without partner.

117
Q

Direct vs indirect strategies for breaking up

A

Direct- state that you want to end relationship
Indirect- start ignoring other person, don’t discuss issues. may “act out” to make relationship end/force partner to end it

118
Q

Selfish vs other-oriented initiating breakups

A

Selfish- announce relationship end, no negotiation
Other oriented- Allowed negotiation, talk things out.

119
Q

Combination of selfish and indirect methods

A

Negative outcomes

120
Q

Various pathways to dissolution

A

gradual vs sudden, one partner vs both, multiple times finally succeeds, no attempts to save relationship

121
Q

Churning

A

cyclical process in which two partners dissolve or reinstate a romantic relationship more than once. Usually detrimental to relationship due to uncertainty and stress in relationship disruption. Long term-unlikely to stay together.

122
Q

Steps to divorce

A

Personal phase- a partner grows dissatisfied, feeling frustrated
Dyadic phase- unhappy partner reveals his or her discontent… feelings of hurt
Social phase- tells other people their side of the story and seeks support/advice/validation
Grave dressing phase- as relationship ends, mourning decreases, memories revised
resurrection phase- Ex partners re-enter social life as singles and feel smarter

123
Q

Aftermath of premarital breakups

A

Commitment fades entirely for 60% people. 21% more committed after breakup. Couple rarely rekindle romance. May reconcile differences. Many make a clean break with 12% experiencing churning.

124
Q

Emotional state after breakup

A

Usually angry, sad, distressed within first few weeks. Majority return to normal emotional state within a month.

125
Q

Physical health problems associated with divorce

A

chronic medical conditions, metastatic cancer, cardiovascular disease, risk for early death. Life satisfaction is worse even in long-term (except for situations of abuse and amicable splits)

126
Q

Dealing with loss

A

Validate feelings, talk and listen to others, write down thoughts, accept help from others, allow yourself to cry, identify unfinished business, join a bereavement group

127
Q

When to seek help

A

If feelings are persisting in uncomfortable ways, disturbing images are intruding into life, use of substances increased, reactions are hindering daily life, significant feelings of depression or hopelessness

128
Q

Relationship maintenance

A

Strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships. Follow from people’s commitment to a relationship. Use diff strategies if expect relationship to continue.

129
Q

Outcomes of maintenance mechanisms

A

may be difficult to use but extremely beneficial to relationship. May act more thoughtful to strangers- prevent bad impressions. Active decision to use maintenance mechanisms

130
Q

Cognitive interdependence

A

Greater reported relationship centrality to personal identity. More “we” terms , more positive problem solving, lower divorce rates

131
Q

positive illusions

A

idealizing both partners, always discussing in positive light. Think relationship is better than most. Partner is special

132
Q

Perceived superiority

A

Believing both partners are better than others. Makes relationship more likely to last.

133
Q

Inattention to alternatives

A

makes partnership seems stronger.

134
Q

Derogation of tempting alternatives

A

Judging others to be less and putting them down. Relatively good for relationships.

135
Q

Willingness to sacrifice

A

doing something you don’t want to or giving up something that you like for your partner. importance of balanced sacrifices.

136
Q

Michelangelo phenomenon

A

when your partner encourages you to be all that you can be. Supporting the development of new skills. Endorsing new roles and responsibilities. One sided is detrimental

137
Q

Accommodation

A

Tolerating minor mistreatments w/o fighting/arguing back. Requires self-control of impulses. Not recommended to tolerate major mistreatments

138
Q

Play

A

Doing novel activities with a partner. Best if pleasant and challenging.

139
Q

Forgiveness

A

forgiving partner’s betrayal. better outcomes than rumination.

140
Q

Relationship maintenance strategies

A

positivity- trying to act nice/cheerful towards partner. Goal to make interactions enjoyable.
Assurances- stressing commitment to the relationship, faithfulness and implying shared future.
Sharing tasks- helping equally with tasks

141
Q

Continued relationship maintenance strategies

A

openness, sharing a social network, support, conflict, humor

142
Q

DIYadvice for Repairing relationships

A

Many issues with DIY advice- backgrounds of professionals are somewhat bogus. Imply change is easy and simple. Advice is tailored to general audiences. Advice may simply be wrong.

143
Q

Preventative maintenance

A

Taking care of/resolving issues before major problems arise

144
Q

common components of premarital counseling

A

encouraged to take long-range view of future they’re creating together, stress importance of having fun together, value open communication about sex, consequences of inappropriate expectations.

145
Q

Common core features of couples therapy

A

Must trust clinicians and enter with positive expectations to benefit.

146
Q

Behavioral couples therapy

A

Focused on couple’s actions/interactions and seeks to replace negative and punishing behavior. Encourage and reward partners. Teaches communication skills. Schedule deliberate love days. Quid pro quo contract (behavior change between partners is linked) vs good faith contractions (parallel agreements- rewarded with special privileges)

147
Q

Cognitive behavioral therapy

A

Focusing on partner’s cognition and relationship judgements. Addresses partner’s selective attention (hyperfixation on one bad thing). Instills more reasonable expectations, willingness to forgive, adaptive relationship beliefs. Goal is to change maladaptive thinking patterns.

148
Q

Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy

A

Encourages desirable behavior and teaches tolerance about incompatibilities. Communication and behavioral modification. Acknowledges that some incompatibilities may always remain.

149
Q

How IBCT teaches acceptance

A

Empathic joining- expressing vulnerabilities w/o blame or resentment
Unified detachment- intellectual and practical view of problems
tolerance building- decrease sensitivity and intense reactions

150
Q

Emotionally focused couple therapy

A

Attachment-based couple’s therapy. Focused on increasing attachment security (regardless of attachment). Reestablishes desirable interaction patterns. Need emotional security.

151
Q

Three stages of therapy

A

1)assessment of the problem- step back and find what underlies argument. Recognize new styles of interaction the foster bonding.
2) promoting new styles of interaction that foster bonding: identify/admit feelings. Acknowledge/accept other’s feelings and start new patterns of interaction
3)rehearsal and maintenance of desirable new styles of interaction. Invent new solutions to old problems, rehearse and consolidate new behavior

152
Q

Insight-oriented therapy(3 tenants)

A

Understanding how personal habits and assumptions create difficulties with partners. Need understanding of self.
3 basic tenants
- people are influenced by hidden tensions and unresolved need
-unconscious conflicts- family of origin or prior relationships
- Goal-gain insights into unconscious conflicts.
Affective reconstructions- revisiting past to identify themes and coping styles that promote past conflict. Goal- construct new patterns

153
Q

Common features of couples therapy

A

Works for most people. I.e., relationship improvements, better satisfaction, less conflict, etc.

154
Q

Importance of picking therapy, therapist

A

Most appealing. Can be beneficial if only one partner goes, but best if both partners attend and work to improve relationship.

155
Q

Despite media overrepresentation…

A

Highly underutilized. Most divorced couples-did not consult couples therapist. Due to westernized stigmatization of therapy

Close Relationships (1 decks)

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