Exam Flashcards
(105 cards)
1
Q
Stages of relationship development
A
- Initiation
- Experimental (Find out more about person)
- Intensification (Friendship develops)
- Integration (When path forward is connected and influenced by other person)
- Bonding (When we feel connected in partnership)
- Differentiating (When we work to stake individuality and autonomy. This is when relationship is developed and strengthened.
2
Q
4 stages of relationship decline
A
- Circumscribing (When we don’t talk to the person as much as we did)
- Stagnation (Relationship quality declines significantly)
- Avoidance (When person tries to stop communicating with others)
- Termination (Communication is completely cut off)
3
Q
Three conflicting elements of interpersonal relationship dialects.
A
- Connection vs. Autonomy
- Predictability vs. Novelty
- Openness vs. Privacy
4
Q
Facework
A
When you show a version of yourself to the public. Different setting may elicit different versions of yourself.
5
Q
Confirming Responses
A
Acknowledging that other people are valuable in our interpersonal relationships. Positive messages can improve quality of relationship. Disconfirming messages can be eye rolling, shrugging, negative words.
6
Q
Evaluative message
A
Peoples tendency to evaluate or judge what someone thinks or feels.
7
Q
Ad Hominem Attack
A
Trying to discredit the individuals character rather than critique their ideals. Ex. “You’re an idiot” rather than constructive feedback without judgment.
8
Q
Controlling messages
A
Instead of getting advice and ideas, you impose your own ideas. Showing dominance and imply superiority over others. Suggesting others opinion isn’t important.
9
Q
Communication compentence
A
having the skills to achieve goals of interpersonal situation and perspectives can improve your interpersonal relationships.
10
Q
Situational awareness
A
Understand contact in which interpersonal communication occurs and which techniques to use in each situation. (People interact different at school than at home or sports game).
11
Q
Self-knowledge
A
Understand your own strengths and weakness and communication style. Awareness of verbal and non-verbal behavior is important to identify impressions that your project to others.
12
Q
Audience understanding
A
Recognizing that the person on the other end of the communication matters as much as you. This person has different background, needs, education, culture, and attitudes.
13
Q
Ambiguity
A
Imprecise speech that people can interpret in many different ways, and not necessarily ways you intend.
14
Q
Equivocation
A
When ambiguity is used deliberately to avoid making a clear point. Ex. Vague statement designed to be interpreted in a number of ways.
15
Q
Euphemism
A
When someone says something using positive language to deliver a negative point. Ex “someone left the company” rather than “someone got fired”.
16
Q
Veil of ignorance
A
A thought experiment a philosopher (John Rawls) thinks you should make before making a decision.
After making a decision, image you are on the receiving end. How would you feel?
Most people think their attitudes and opinions matter most. Interpersonal relationships can fracture as you offend people by thinking they agree with you. Humility is important. Once this is acknowledged, you can some into interpersonal relationships with open and welcoming mind.
17
Q
Tolerance
A
When you can recognize another persons opinions and attitudes are varies and different just as valuable as your own.
Helps to maintain and improve interpersonal relationships.
18
Q
Self-serving bias
A
When we don’t blame or criticize ourselves when things go wrong. We all tend to have it. We believe all problems come from external sources.
19
Q
Emotional intelligence
A
Ability to understand ones own feelings and those of others, motivating ourselves, and keeping our emotions controlled.
20
Q
Self-regulation
A
Ability to control emotions and desires. Children who can resist temptations have better like outcomes in school and work as they get older.
21
Q
Non-verbal behviours
A
Any communication that does not use words. Can include sounds or body language.
22
Q
Channel discrepency
A
When people speak one way, and behave physically another. This is confusing.
23
Q
Schemas
A
Experiences you recall from the past to understand and deal with people, situations, and roles in the present. It helps us make sense of non-verbal behaviours we’re seeing from others.
24
Q
Identity management
A
Large process of projecting your identity non-verbally.
25
Paralanguage
Anything you do with your voice that isn't words. (Speed, volume, tone, all elements that say something about you and make meaning).
26
Kinesics
Posture and gestures. The way you stand and the way your hands move give off meaning
27
Proxemics
Distance of space in interpersonal relationship. Environments have different requirements for space. Work vs bar vs school vs romantic relationship.
28
Chronemics
The role time plays in interpersonal relationship. At work, people run on schedule, defined by unit of time.
29
Vocal emphasis
Where you put emphasis on the word can change its meaning.
30
```
What the following can mean when talking:
Pausing
Pitch
Sign
Clearing throat
Clear throat and turn eyes
Laugh
```
Pausing: With addition of filler words like umm, uhh, can distract the message or suggest nervousness.
Pitch: Tendency to go up at the end of statement suggests you are unsure about what you are saying.
Sigh: Can suggest frustration
Clear throat: Used as interruption
Clear throat and turn eyes: Telling conversation partner someone else has entered the room
Laugh: Could mean agreement or disagreement with what someone has said
31
Personal distance
18 inches to 4 feet
32
Social distance
4 to 12 feet. Business meetings
33
Divergence
Speaking differently than others on purpose to distinguish ones self from them. Ex. Jargon
34
Hedging
Using words like "maybe" or "possibly" phrases like "this might not be a good idea but..."
These phrases lack confidence.
35
Identity
Collection of characteristics that fit together in a package to define who you are to others. Many factors influence this, including biological ones and social ones.
Can be professional, personal, and private.
36
3 factors effecting identity
Place
Appearance
Behaviour
37
3 principles for effective meeting communication
1. Should be held for good reason. Some problems can be solves in emails.
2. Problems/issues should be listed on agenda prior to meeting with defined length. Goal is to stick to agenda. Could ruin post meetings plans and tire participants.
3. In meeting, people must understand roles and rules. Who will lead meeting and keep on track? Speaking order? How will decisions be made? Take minutes?
38
Symbols
Something that stands for something else.
- Letters creating words that mean something.
- Hand gestures
- Distance between people
39
6 Stages of developing relationship
1. Initiation
2. Experimental (find out more)
3. Intensification (Working friendship develops)
4. Integrating (When path forward is connected and influenced by other person)
5. Bonding stage (Feeling connected in partnership)
6. Differentiating (Working to stake out individuality and autonomy as we interact with others. Relationship is developed and strengthened)
40
Relationship decline 4 stages
1. Circumscribing (Not talking as much as you did)
2. Stagnating (Relationship quality declines significantly)
3. Avoidance (people try to stop communicating)
4. Termination (Communication is cut off)
41
Communication conflicts (3)
1. Connection vs. autonomy (Some people enjoy working alone more than working and communicating with a team)
2. Predictability vs. novelty (Predictability is enjoyable in people such as bosses and teachers, but learning new things about coworkers can be enjoyable too)
3. Openness vs. privacy (More private at work and more open in intimate relationships... but opening up at work can create bonds... fine line)
42
Group dynamics (with 3+ people)
Groups including 3 or more people can create coalition to pressure other members to do what they want. Does not occur with 2 people.
43
Function of a group
1. Solve a problem
| 2. Learning function (teaching each other... ex. focus groups come together to discuss feelings about product)
44
Types/ levels of norms
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Group norms (unstated expectations of each member of how group will run)
Social norms (Ways members are supposed to treat each other)
Procedural norms (Agreed-upon process for how group will work
Task norms (Define how group will assign and complete task)
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45
Groupthink
When all members think the same. Inhibits creativity and error findings.
** Groups are said to be good at finding errors and being creative.
46
Decision making in a group:
- Consensus (Everybody must agree)
- Majority rules
- Defer decision making to expert in group
- Defer decision making to subset of members
- Accept the decision of the leader
47
Being a leader and encouraging participation
Participation levels in a group vary. Those who dominate tend to make others fall into the background.
If you are leader: Avoid holding status. Be friendly, polite sensible, and respectful. Show you want other to contribute.
Participative leader: Sees every one as equal and wants peoples ideas. They will...
- Summarize perspective without leaving anyone out.
- Present problem for discussion but does not force in any particular direction
- NOT power-hungry (my way or high way)
* Encouraging participation may need understanding and supporting emotional and relationship needs. Understanding that each group member is unique individual with her or her own unique style.
48
Disruptive group member behaviour:
- Undermine group through negative comments
- Lie or provide misinformation to thwart group goals
- "Social loafing" by avoiding their share of work/ contribution
* Creates negative atmosphere and requires other group members to pick up slack.
49
How to deal with disruptive group memberes
- Prevention: Members who are consulted and respected and feel listened to, and who have bonded with group are less likely to act out.
- Expectations: Important all groups understand what is expected of them and goals needed to achieve. Nobody can be held accountable if this is not clear.
- Evaluation: Mechanism to keep members accountable. Performance report for example.
- Open communication: Check in with members form time to time during project. Prevent drifting due to lack of communication.
*** Don't take over for those who do not do share. They will just get credit. Group must make clear there are consequences.
50
Types of bad listening
- Selective listening: Responding to only parts of persons speech that interests you.
- Ambushing: Only listen to find something to you against the person
- Insensitive listening: When you listen to surface-level meaning and miss more subtle aspects like irony or sarcasm
- Turning convo on you: Ex. When someone brings up their product, and you flip convo onto you and your problems.
51
Why do we fail to listen?
- Takes concentration. Focusing can be hard.
- If speech is slow, mind wonders
- Noise can be distracting
- If we don't like someone we don't want to listen
- Patients level decreases through social media age.
52
Types of listening (4)
- Contact-oriented / Informational listeners: Listening to words carefully and analyze them. More concerned about message they receive, putting other thoughts out of mind.
- People-oriented / Empathetic listeners: Listen to support and create positive relationship, rather than focus on content of the messages themselves. No matter what they hear, they want speaker to feel values and respected. Working to maintain positive relationship.
- Action-oriented: Listen only to find out how to get things done. Practical. Listening to tool in service of clear goal. Aren'e working to make others feel better. Rational.
- Time-oriented: Those who don't have time / patients to listen. Get-in-get-out philosophy.
53
Active listening practices
- Pay attention to person
- Don't think about what to say next
- Encourage them to say more
- Don't let status play a role (listen to every level)
- Find key points of what they are saying
- Respond directly to what they say and ask questions
* Takes practice
* Can be unpredictable
54
Creating strong connections when listening (4)
1. Show you care
2. Focus on other person (downplays your ego and goals... speaker will respond to subordination of your self)
3. Encouragement you provide will prompt person to think more about their ideas and thought process.
4. Asking questions shows you are listening.
55
Strategies for active listening (4)
1. Paraphrasing: Stating other persons words in your own words. Helps ensure you understand them through act of confirmation. Can be annoying if used too much.
2. Questioning: To clarify points. Ask about significance, request evidence, inquire about consequences. Shows you are listening. Helps them develop their ideas. Too many questions can be interrogative.
3. Supporting. Offer no judgment. Agree or reassure them. Listen to concerns and fears, and support with words of encouragement.
4. Prompting: Short interruptions of acknowledgement that push people to say more. "ya", or "uh huh". Nothing substantial is said, but you let them talk it out and let them come to conclusions.
56
Reasons for conflict (3)
1. Goals don't line up and want to go in different directions
2. When two people strive to capture control of same resource.
3. When a person interferes with another's work
Interdependency: Naturally creates conflict. You can't have conflict with someone who you don't have dependency on. Paths wont cross enough to create conflict.
We can't eliminate conflict, but we can manage it. It is natural, expected, and can be useful.
57
Abusive behviour
When one side of an interpersonal relationship has more power and tries to physically or mentally hurt the other person.
58
Stages of interpersonal conflict (5) by Louis Pondy
1. Latent conflict: Seeds of conflict forming
2. Perceives conflict: When each side recognizes the problem developing
3. Self conflict: When conflict happened and sides work strategically to solve it
4. Manifest: When strategies are put into action
5. Aftermath: We see whether relationship between parties have changed thanks to dealing with conflict.
59
Levels that conflict can occur
Micro level: Between 2 people
Intergroup conflict: Between social and cultural groups of varying sizes.
Inter-organizational conflict: Between organizations
International conflict: Between nations
*** Without solving conflicts, relationships, groups, to organizations could fail or run inefficiently and ineffectively towards goals.
60
Ways to deal with conflict (2)
- Head in the sand approach: Avoids or hides from conflict. This is when conflict is seen as bad or destructive. Shows harmony is not achieved in relationship. Embarrassing for people to admit things are broken. Ineffective conflict management is when people divert attention, fails to resolve issues, or disengages from relationship.
- Predominant approach: Sees conflict as normal and expected. When relationship changes, conflict happens. It needs to be manages, not avoided.
61
Five conflict management styles
- Avoidance
- Competing: Win at all costs. Winner takes all. Has ramifications. Win-lose. Ethical questions to this style. Uses lying, intimidation, bullying, or abuse.
- Accommodating: Letting other person in the relationship get their way. Letting them win. You give up sharing your ideas to help others, even if they are better or useful.
- Compromising: Each side gets something out of relationship, but not everything. "Give and take". Sounds positive, but one negative thing is that neither side gets everything they want.
- Collaborating: Working together for "win-win" where everybody feels happy.
62
Negotiation and bargaining
When people with different needs and wants come together and come to conclusion that ideally pleases both sides.
Typically uses collaborative process.
Mediators can be used if standstill occurs.
Mediator: Lawyer or professional with experience in negotiation and bargaining tactics. They have no stakes in outcome and can see both sides needs clearly. May find fresh solution.
63
Change management
The study of how to recognize societal changes (changes in social norms, personal tastes, and market corrections) developments and then prepare to implement successful change in an organization to move strongly and successfully into future.
64
Individual change management:
Recognizes and understands the needs of employees during transitional period. It's about helping them during these transitions in their own roles and careers.
- Management must consider employee motivation towards change and possible resistance.
- Employee may not like change. Stability my be preferred.
- Employees need to understand changes will help organization and themselves.
*** Must be treated as human beings.
To reduce resistance, managers must have strong interpersonal skills:
- Active listening
- Involve employees in plans for change. Helps them understand need for change and boosts motivation
65
Change management process
1. Come up with strategy
2. Requires groups or committees dedicated to management transition
3. When transition is over, audit must be done to show is transition was successful
66
Effective groups: Strategies for leaders
Leaders must:
- Formulate new vision that benefits management and employees
- Bond with employees during change
- Monitor support to avoid harmful dissent or rumours or derail plans.
- Monitor support groups to ensure members are transitioning
- Must display empathy to recognize effects of change
67
Empathy
Ability to view situation from another persons perspective.
This takes:
1. Perspective. See other persons view point and don't judge them.
2. Emotions: Feel their pain and happiness
3. Showing concern for other person
68
Sympathy:
Does not require feeling what the other person is feeling or seeing their point of view. Sometimes it isn't possible to empathize with extreme emotions or plights.
Sympathy is recognizing others feelings (trouble or anguish) and express sorrow for their situations. Showing compassion.
69
Veil of ignorance
What is you wore a veil that hid status or class? Without that, what if we become the receiver of the decision you made? How would you feel about that decision? Would you make it again.
70
Reasons misunderstanding occurs (4)
1. Thinking other people share same attitudes and opinions (Some may be the same. Some are different. Be tolerant of those differences)
2. Difficulty deciphering non-verbal behaviours (Ambiguous non-verbal behaviours... don't assume what they mean. Ask)
3. Interpersonal encounters are complicated (All kinds of signals are being send, we can't process or understand everything. Common to miss cues)
4. Nature of language is complex (People don't always share same meaning for words, all words have connotations)
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Connotation:
A words feeling
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Culture:
Practices and language of a defined group of people developed over period of time. Reflected in groups foods, preferences of sports, business styles, and interpersonal behaviors.
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Creating culture
Humans are social animals and form groups and develop languages and practices. Defines who is "in" and who is "out".
Culture is not relational.
Creates binary opposition. In group and out group.
74
Intercultural conflicts
When people from different cultures come into contact and disagree due to cultural values, goals, biases, prejudice, old grudges, economics, and political competition.
* We tend to see communications from in-group as more positive than those in out-group
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Linguistic determinism
Language used by a group also affects how people look at the world. Theory is debates, but there is some belief that it colours interpersonal relationships.
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Pluralism
Belief that difference should be values and celebrated and that diversity is an asset
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Low context vs high context culture
Low: Communicate in practical, logical, transparent, and clear ways
High: Demand cultural knowledge to fully understand their meaning
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Cultures vary on spectrum of:
High to low context
Desire for individualism and sense of collectivism
Elaborate and succinct language
Formal and informal language
79
Indigenous examples of cultural differences
- Indigenous people tend to pause between speaking, showing respect (not talking over people)
- Indigenous people consider too much eye contact awkward or confrontational
- Indigenous take part in little small talk with strangers
80
Accessible communication for people with disabilities
Physical: Workplace should be designed without obstacles, well-lit, easy for those with physical disabilities. ex. Communicating with someone is wheelchair, you adapt by sitting down to talk.
Hearing: use gestures to get attentions. Make face visible for lip reading
Vision: Summarize info that they cannot read or offer hand to help. May need intermediary.
Speech: Don't interrupt so they can speak fully. May need to repeat themselves, limit frustration. May communicate with device or cards.
Intellectual development: Can mean simply speaking slowly or simply. Provide bite size info at a time. Promt them to see if they need anything.
81
Inclusive & Sensitive language
- Avoid language using terms with sex, age, disability, religion, gender, and ethnicity.
Ex. Don't say: "Joe is confined to a wheelchair". Say "Joe uses a wheelchair".
Ex. Don't use words like salesman, or chairman, say sales person or chair person.
Don't assume pronouns
82
Self-diclosure
Telling people important facts about yourself. Can strengthen interpersonal relationships.
* Can strengthen connection. Privileged information. Feels good to be on receiving end.
Often in dyad (between 2 people). Disclosing info to more people is scary.
Be sure who you disclose info to is close to you. Not new coworker. for example.
Closed: Normal to be guarded early in relationship. Tendency to keep things secret to preserve privacy. and distance.
Open: Sometimes you can go too far with self-disclosure and tell someone too much.
83
Handling difficult conversations
- Have empathy
- Put yourself in their shoes
- Keep convo short (don't ramble)
- Be willing to answer questions, but don't answer questions without answers.
84
Steps for difficult customer
1. Active listening. Figure out where things went wrong.
2. Remain calm. Have open body posture.
3. Take in neutral tone.
4. If customer is wrong, explain in a neutral tone and factual way.
* If your company went wrong, solve problem quickly. Keeping moving towards solution.
* Apologize. This can diffuse emotions.
85
Mediated vs. unmediated communication
Mediated: "Something between". Ex. technology
| Opportunities for mediated communication is growing.
86
```
Characteristics of:
Email
Telephone
Social media
Video conferencing
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Email: Fast message transmission. Word based interface. No non-verbal cues.
Telephone: Instant communication. Speech offers verbal cues replicating some aspects of face-to-face. No travel. Lack of verbal understanding can cause misunderstanding. No body language.
Social media: Test, images, videos, and sound. Not always synchronous or live. Strong interaction capabilities, and analytics to monitor audience.
Video conferencing: Brings together almost all elements of face-to-face interpersonal communication, except physical proximity. Provides sound and visuals. No need for travel. Can seem cold.
87
Trust:
```
Glue that holds interpersonal relationship together. Trust is lost through unethical behaviours.
Major categories:
Transparency
Ethos
Logos
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Transparency:
Being open to others. Don't hind important info form them. Examples of this are lying to avoid conflict or about credentials, misleading someone, providing misinformation shifts relationship from transparent to opaque.
Being vague or ambiguous can damage trust.
89
Ethos:
Strong character. Not built in a day. Someone will recognize character overtime through repeated trustworthy and truth-telling interactions.
90
Logos:
Using facts and logic. Contributes to trust. Always use facts to defend decisions.
91
Instrumental goals (function of relationship)
To get something from the relationship. Can be long term or day-to-day. Ex. asking for help. asking for knowledge.
92
Relational goals (function of relationship)
Striving to maintain positive relationship. To have good relationship, you have to engage in routine maintenance.
93
Self-presentation goals (function of relationship)
Communicating in a way to be perceived in a particular way.
94
Function (goals) of relationships
Instrumental goals
Relational goals
Self-presentation goals
95
Relationship cultures
People in relationships create cultures at smaller level. Established through unique interpersonal communication to partner based on larger culture through social norms.
96
Purpose of storytelling in a relationship
Used to establish similarities in new relationship. Also used tell stories of relationship history (first camping trip together). Builds solidarity, belonging, and closeness.
97
Personal idioms
Unique words or names in certain relationships. Used to create sense of belonging due to inside meaning. (Calling partner booger). They are shared cues for cultural insiders. Creating boundaries since only shared within relationship.
98
Relationship Routines
Communicative acts that create sense fo predictability in relationship that is comforting. Ex. Long distance schedules recurring phone convos.
99
Relationship Rituals
More symbolic meaning than routines, and may be widely recognized. Birthdays, holidays. Ex. going to Gatineau part every NYE.
100
Relationship rules and norms
Create structure and boundaries for interacting in relationship. Ex. do you talk to your boss about your finances? Coworkers about medical history? Violating rules and norms could have negative effect on relationship
101
Social penetration theory
As we get to know someone, we engage in reciprocal process of self-disclosure that changes in breadth and depth.
Breads: Range of topics
Depth: How personal or sensitive the info is
Key to dialect is tension between openness and closeness. We want to make ourselves open to others, but also maintain sense of privacy.
102
Social comparison theory:
We evaluate ourselves based on how we compare with others. We engage in self-disclosure for purpose of social comparison. Ex. disclose athletics abilities to see how we compare.
Can be used to determine whether or not we are interested in pursuing relationship with another person.
103
The Johari Window Model
Applies to variety of interpersonal interactions to help understand what parts of ourselves are open, hidden, blind, or unknown.
Open: Known to self. Known to others.
Hidden: Known to self. Unknown to others.
Blind: Unknown to self. Known to others.
Unknown: Unknown to self. Unknown to others.
Engaging in self-disclosure moves information from "hidden" to "open".
Receiving feedback moves information from "blind" to "open".
We can move things from "unknown" to "open" or "hidden" by trying new things.
There is often a disconnect between how people see themselves and how people see them.
104
Self-disclosure is circular.
- Steps of disclosure (3)
- Causes of disclosure (3)
Steps: 1. Individual discloses. 2. Recipient reacts. 3. Original discloser process reaction.
* How receiver interprets and responds to disclosure is key. Response results from receivers attribution of cause of disclosure.
Causes:
- Dispositional: Connecting disclosure to personality. Can be positive or negative.
- Situational: Due to surroundings in which it takes place.
- Interpersonal: Relationship intimacy and closeness will likely cause disclosure and will reinforce relationship when receiver feels they were specifically chosen for information.
105
Disclosing secrets
Disclosing secrets is done to show power and connections. Disclosing personal gain does not demonstrate communication competence.
