EVERYDAY ETHICS Flashcards
The author claims that our worst moral headaches often come from the people closest to us? What do you think? Why? /2
As an individual, you make up your own personal rules and go along with them with no one noticing.
Friends on the other hand, make expectations of you and if mistaken, you’ll be called out for your actions immediately.
The author says that one of the reasons we have so much moral confusion around our friendships is because of misunderstood expectations. The author claims that our culture doesn’t have rituals for friendship (like children)? What do you think? /2
The author is right from a technical perspective but did not consider the nuances.
Some people get along for the sake of business or ulterior motives knowing the other can provide unknown assistance; however, in adulthood some friendships can develop rituals later on such as handshakes, codes of communication, traditions, etc.
Do your friendships manifest themselves differently depending on the identity of the people involved? If so, does that mean you are fake or insincere? /2
I believe so but only because of societal expectation when it comes to creating a bond with someone.
Friends expect you to always support them with little hesitance. Therefore, you put a front even if your morals say otherwise.
The author says mutual affection is only one of the reasons for a friendship. What, according to the author, are some others? /5
respect
admiration
loyalty
shared interests
shared history
What is the Schadenfreude test?
happy feeling you get when you hear another’s misfortunes, sort of like having a superiority complex.
What are the three caveats that the author gives about the schadenfreude test? /3
Schadenfreude is part of the human condition. Ask yourself WHAT sustains the relationship
Liking is a sometime thing.
Not liking ANY of your friends suggests a serious gap in your life. Time for some difficult self-reflection
What is mutuality? /3
a two-way street
sharing equally between parties
differs friendship from romantic love
What is reciprocity? /2
exchanging things with others for mutual benefit such as privileges
this for that/tit for tat
The author says that the distinction between mutuality and reciprocity is another good indicator about the status of a friendship/ Why? /3
Reveals the sort of people you consider ‘friends’.
Friends don’t ‘owe’ or ‘reciprocate’.
Friends are mutual, we help them because we care not because we expect something in return
Three types of pseudo friendships that violate the principle of mutuality /3
center of the universe friend
deflating friend
presumptuous friend
What is the center of the universe friend? /5
violates mutuality of interest
problem driven
expect you to agree that their current catastrophe is THE MOST significant event now occurring in the universe.
excessive amounts of detail
make it clear that you’re tired of listening without being heard, of giving and never getting
What is the deflating friend? /7
violates mutuality of enthusiasm
Excitement vanishes
Views life as an eternal critic, as if they are experiencing the lowest of the lows, pessimistic (sometimes)
Rarely attacks head-on
Absent minded and kill your fervor with neglect
Can be extremely helpful ad sympathetic when you have a problem BUT refuse to share your zeal
Leach away your passion and destroy your spirit
What is the presumptuous friend? /4
violates mutuality of resources
Never has the slightest shyness about asking you for things
Doesn’t go out of his way to think about your needs
Exploits the friendship for personal reasons
What are the strengths of old friendships? /2
shared history; provided you with important tacit information about each other
read each other’s gestures, body language, moods
What are the weaknesses of old friendships? /4
different values
different tastes
different aspirations
TLDR: you have so little in common
Why does the author find it important to have interesting friends?
It’s the best way to learn about any subject, other than direct personal involvement
Why does the author find it important to have happy friends? /3
Happy friends make for a happier life
Helps sustain optimism
Amplifies pleasure by sharing it
What are Aristotle’s 3 categories of friendship? /3
friendships based on mutual interests
friendships based on mutual pleasures
friendships based on mutual values
What is a friendship based on mutual interests? /3
make up a large part of our lives
commonly as acquaintances
have no long-term security
What is a friendship based on mutual pleasures? /3
friends with whom you enjoy hanging out with
most common form of friendship
have no long-term security
What is a friendship based on mutual values?
truest of friendships
Why do we have an obligation to address our friend’s values?
someone who does not address it can result in the friendship to fall apart as a means of neglecting someone’s well-being and shallow
How do you address a friend’s values? /2
address them but as a form of persuasion rather than imposing
appeal to them as a friend, not as a parent or enforcer.
What makes a best friend according to the author? /2
Friends who care about what’s best for you
Based on shared values
The author says that having an enemy can be a good thing, so long as you choose him/her wisely. Why does he say that?
choose them wisely as intense passion can transform into hatred—an obsession that undermines emotional balance and perverts your judgment
What can an enemy do for you (positive)? /3
An enemy can excite your passions intensely
Be a source of inspiration to work harder
Become the central motivation to succeed
What do you think is the significance of the anonymous quote: “People who are sensible about love are incapable of it”? /3
Sensible refers to being practical, almost calculated; however, that does not apply to love.
Love is anything but predictable as it depends on individual emotions, circumstances, and experiences.
Someone who makes a practice out of it will never truly understand what love is
What are the dangers to excessive attention to love? /3
love-adultors
view love as “the poetry of the senses” and the highest of all humans’ achievements.
those who loved and won know that love does conquer all
What are the dangers of insufficient attention to love? /2(4)
cynicism about romance
such as:
- Feminists
- left-wing political theorists
- religion
How can we differentiate between love and lust? /2
Lust is replaceable
love has no substitutions
What is lust? /3
fungible (replaceable without any change in value)
Attracted to a person’s physical features and anyone else with the same attributes would do as well
Satisfy your sexual cravings
What is love? /3
no substitutions
withstand an essential change of personality
activity of the head—more control over our emotional affections than over our physical desires.
Is falling in love a choice? /2
a responsible decision
determine whether to allow lust to turn into love
According to the author, what are we dishonest about? /3
our values
“how you talk reveals your values”
we are too lazy to indulge in them
How would more honesty help? /3
engage in honest self-appraisal
the pay-off of being more honest is more productive conversations
avoiding pointless repetitions of discussion
The 3 types of talk? /3
chicken talk
bull talk
elephant talk
What is chicken talk? /3
small talk
light and easy
facilitates socialization
What is bull talk?
exchange genuine information and our questions are personal
What is elephant talk? /3
deepest realm of conversation
content is weighty
questions are accompanied by the body language of dramatic gestures
Why is chicken talk important? /3
signals that you recognize the social cues of the community
you’re safe to deal with
cement civility and community
Why does the author think that “we have a moral obligation to take language seriously? (67) (denotation vs connotation, framing, euphemism and hyperbole) /2
words have meaning but can be lost when used irresponsibly
failure to make distinctions perpetuates a dangerous lack of moral proportion
What are 2 key ingredients to good listening? /2
asking questions
repeating in your OWN words what the other person said a.k.a paraphrasing
Why is it so hard to listen?
The difficulty of listening comes from the idea that one has superior intellect over the other
“notice that while one person speaks, the next person gets ready to lob [throw in] his own comment
What are the 2 type of people you should never argue with? /2
perpetual arguers
squanderers of passion
Who are perpetual arguers? /4
live to argue
cynical
does not care which side wins, but loves to win the argument
viewed as adolescent and tiresome
What is the principle of falsifiability? /3
a statement of fact [about the world] is meaningful only in principle
can not be disproved
NOT a proposition that is true or false by definition or pure deductive logic
What role should the principle of falsifiability play in arguments?
when someone argues a case, they also have to tell you what it would take for them to admit their wrong—evidence that would weaken his position
What are the two seemingly good reasons to exclude emotions from the domain of morality? /2
alleged
personal matter
What does alleged mean when excluding emotion from the domain of morality?
morality comes into play only when people interact with each other
What does personal matter mean when excluding emotions from the domain of morality?
emotions are conceived as things that happen to you, not things over which you control
Why are the two seemingly good reasons to exclude emotions from the domain of morality WRONG? /2
emotions belong to you ALONE
YOUR attitudes, emotions, thoughts, and desires all reveal YOUR ethics, central to YOUR character.
Our society promotes the morality of ‘doing the right thing, but not of feeling the right thing’. Do you think this is true? /2
I believe this claim to be true, as “doing the right thing” refers to what society deems to be right
disregarding your personal opinion on the matter.
How is ‘doing the right thing, but not feeling the right thing’ compatible with virtue ethics? /3
Virtue ethics refers to how actions equate to character
if someone were to do the right things according to society, then they have good character
if they refused to according to their personal beliefs and feelings, then they would be seen as the antagonist.
Between the immediate reflexive response and reflective response, which one does the author think is true? /4
both are true
reveal an individual’s values
Sometimes we manage to control our emotions, sometimes we don’t, but in either case we can still wonder what our true beliefs are.
Morality is determined by how well we organize our conflicting feelings and beliefs.
Why is the sin of envy unique? /4
results in no joy or satisfaction after being acted upon
considered resentful and inferior—envy is humiliating
highlights what we don’t have
reveals our true values to which we wish to stay hidden
Can envy have a positive effect? /2
reflects our values by showing us what we would do to get what we want, underlined passion.
becomes a strong incentive for our own ambitions (like an unspoken rivalry)
What does it mean: “When you change your values you change your emotions?”
How we perceive and value something is accompanied with how we feel about it.
ex. If person A views aftercare as insignificant, then they feel bothered/annoyed when a partner tries to make it a topic of discussion.
BUT, if person A values aftercare, they are more inclined to feel passionate and considerate for their partner.
What are the author’s 3 ‘theoretical underpinnings’ of emotions? /3
Emotions are feelings aimed at targets
Emotions require beliefs
Emotions involve evaluations
What are the seven questions that the author thinks we need to consider when evaluating our emotions? /7
Is this emotion directed at the proper target?
Is this emotion proportional to its target?
Has this emotions outlived it’s appropriate life span?
Do you need this emotion?
Do you need this emotion now?
Is this emotion demeaning (degrading)?
Are you using this emotion as an excuse?
What are the 4 key traits of emotional intelligence? /4
self-management
self-awareness
social awareness
relationship management
What is self-management? /5
control impulsive feelings and behaviors
manage your emotions in healthy ways
take initiative
follow through on commitments
adapt to changing circumstances
What is self-awareness? /4
recognize your own emotions
how they affect your thoughts and behavior
know your strengths and weaknesses
have self-confidence
What is social awareness? /5
have empathy
understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people
pick up on emotional cues
feel comfortable socially
recognize the power dynamics in a group/organization.
What is relationship management? /5
know how to develop and maintain good relationships
communicate clearly
inspire and influence others,
work well in a team
manage conflict
The author claims that ours is a “culture of narcissism”, but that this does not extend to our moral lives. Why? /2
Narcissism refers to focusing on yourself, but morally that is impossible.
Societal expectations and virtue ethics has you place the importance of THEIR views on you over your own.
“obsessively scrutinizes [her] personality, searching for defects agonizing over each imperfection […] monitors [her] life with indefatigable devotion” (104)
What is the story of Iphigenia? /2
A woman from 200 B.C Athens who believes she is the best of the best (beauty, talent, sexuality) but no one agrees or notices her.
Has unusual moral beliefs compared to the normalcy of Athens’ people at the time (abolish slavery, giving women the right to own property and vote).
What does Iphigenia’s story say about moral views? /2
validity of moral views do not depend on the support of others
values belong to the individual themselves and no one else.
What is a moral non-conformist?
pays little attention to the popularity or unpopularity of their moral positions.
Is it bad to be a moral non-conformist? /3
no
keep to themselves most of the time
indifferent to how others perceive them
What is moral consistency?
keeping the same belief for a long-period of time without considering other options
What is moral wisdom? /2
the mental capacity of integrating intelligence with morality
can result in a change in beliefs
Which is better moral consistency or moral wisdom? /4
strive for an equal balance of both
sticking to one is considered bad as an extremity
if something has changed, your belief has to as well,
but don’t change it too often (like the weather)
What does it mean: “guilt only occurs when we violate our own standards, not those of other people”? /3
shows our lack of self-control as humans
No other species has the advanced intellect to reflect on their own actions
when we set a code for ourselves and break it, it reveals a lot about our character
“what a weak-willed…” (113)
When is guilt appropriate? /2
appropriate only for behaviour whose wrongfulness you UNDERSTAND, which is ultimately your own,
strangers—we don’t know them intimately, their experiences, beliefs, values, etc.
Why is guilt vital to a ‘full moral life’? /2
guilt results into a confession—self or other
brings our behaviour right up against our true values, the ones we SHOULD have.
The author says that “to forgive yourself too easily is to destroy your self-esteem”. Why? /2
We need to suffer humiliation of guilt before we are ready to forgive ourselves.
Can not be forgiven hastily
What is moral pride? /2
positive
sign of self-respect
What is moral vanity? /2
about ranking
caring solely about being better than everyone else NOT the achievement
How is moral pride different from moral vanity? /2
Moral pride requires humility—low view of one’s own importance
something vanity can not risk.
Cite two reasons why many of us are reluctant to judge other people. /2
religious tradition such as an omniscient supreme being is the only position to judge from
hypocrisy: “you are judged by others […] Judge others so that you may be judged” (126)
Why is religious traditions an invalid reason for judging others? /2
illogical as moral judgements are unavoidable if you live among other human beings
not everyone believes in an omniscient being or follows a religion in general
What is the author implying in the phrase: ‘people have a right to be punished’? /3
people must be treated as adults with responsibility
not downplayed like children or poorly trained house pets
refusing to judge someone equates to not taking them seriously
What is a justification? /2
claiming that in that prevailing circumstance, your choice of behaviour was correct
you will not apologize for it
What is an excuse? /3
feeling apologetic about your actions
offer an excuse to soften the blame
not sincere
What are the 3 common evasions? /3
deep-downing
“as long as it makes her happy”
“he may be smart, but he’s morally stupid”
What is deep-downing? /5
easy
terribly selective
softens people’s perception of someone’s indecent actions
ex. “gets carried away but DEEP DOWN (truthfully) they mean well”
some people don’t mean well no matter how far you interpret their actions
What is “as long as it makes her happy”? /3
displays a charitable attitude and well-meaning
CONDESCENDING, patronizes her
not a reason to compromise her beliefs and standards of truth
What is “he may be smart, but he’s morally stupid”? /2
Moral thinking requires talent and determination
Morally stupid = morally lazy, temptation, and prejudiced
What is a psychological egoist? /4
Don’t be naïve
Selfish pursuits justified through bravado (boldness)
Equates doing something because you want to do it with selfishness
Ask: “what a non-selfish act looks like?”
What is a self-hater?
How we treat others reflects (to some extent) the way we think of ourselves
Why do the psychological egoist and the self-hater serve as warnings about the shortcomings of ‘people tailor their morals to fit their lives and not the other way around’?
invent a moral philosophy to support your desires and prejudices
Can people be read like a book? /2
NO
People regularly misread others [on the basis of their looks]
What are the methods of judging others? /2
meeting the family
emphatic extrapolation
What is the method of ‘meeting the family’? /2
no matter what, we remain our parents’ child
dynamics of parent-child relationships continue deep into adulthood
What are the 2 subcategories of emphatic extrapolation? /2
emotions and moods
philosophical convictions
What are emphatic extrapolation: emotions and moods? /2
outlook fluctuates in response to what is happening in life
rarely tray too far from our personality norm
ex. Boredom vs. enthusiasm
What are emphatic extrapolation: philosophical convictions? /4
determine a person’s moral life
think differently about social institutions, human nature, death, relationships (friends, family, marriage)
imagination is crucial to empathy and therefore, morality
achieve a deeper appreciation of the way other people view their lives
Does empathy play a large role in society? /2
YES
“Everyone is having a hard time” (143)
Why is forgiveness important?
displays a level of understanding but can not be excused for every conflict.
What does it mean: “happiness is having what you need, not what you want”? /2
True happiness is the satisfaction of genuine and distinct needs.
It depends on individual experience
The US declaration of independence guarantees all citizens the right to the pursuit of happiness and not the attainment of happiness. Why does the author think that this distinction is significant?
much of our happiness is in the pursuit itself
What is an instrumental good? /3
valuable
results in an intrinsic good, such as material comforts.
the payoff is worthy even if it costs us
What is an intrinsic good?
something that has value in itself; your happiness
Why is instrumental goods and intrinsic goods mixed up? /2
too much effort and energy in instrumental goods
too little time enjoying the intrinsic goods they’re supposed to serve.
What does the author think of whether or not there is such a thing as universal values? /2
we all share the same basic aspirations and values
BUT we differ in the expression of those values.
What are the three things the author suggests we consider as we try to figure out “the essential values we share with humanity”? /3
beware the seduction of mass culture
study moral philosophy
make your values part of something bigger
What is significant of “beware the seduction of mass culture”?
the entertainment industry defines for most people what counts as “the good life”
What is the significance of “study moral philosophy”? /2
do not disregard the work associated in the conclusion of philosophical issues
opponents will be substantial and provocative
What is the significance of “make your values part of something bigger”? /3
remember that you are part of a community (family, friends, country, planet)
the scope and meaning of your life expand
YOU decide
Why does the author think that being confused is a virtue? /3
you are:
- rational
- morally sensitive
- honest intellectually and spiritually
What, according to the author, does it mean to be a leader? /8
Assume the qualities AND RISKS of leadership.
Accept responsibility for their actions
Take chances where the risks are greatest
Accept mistakes as a process of learning
Have realistic goals and strategies to achieve them
Practice what they preach
Work out their views in the real world of action—theory and practice
Learn to live with confusion and doubt
