Epigrams Flashcards
Ageing
I do what I can to delay the arrival of my Birthdays but nothing seems to work
I have two weapons for fighting time – memory and hope
Why must we keep looking forward when the view in the other direction is becoming increasingly pleasant
Its not easy to find yourself slowing down in a world that’s speeding up
I refuse to reveal my age but I will give you a hint – it’s in double digits
Yesterday has not been destroyed – but it is no longer accessible by ordinary means of communication
I brought something with me from the past – a strange thing called memory
For what crime is old age the punishment?
Why does life seem so short? When it’s actually the longest thing anybody ever goes through
If you don’t keep some souvenirs of the past then you’ll never know it wasn’t all a dream
How different things can get, before they come around to being the same again
Tears can’t wash out the past, but they can sometimes help soften it a little
No wonder I’m weary, I’ve spend my entire life just getting to this moment
It may be later than we think, or it may be earlier than we can possibly imagine
Isn’t it a wonderful system when everybody has a birthday in the same year as everybody else
It’s true I am getting older, but there are many good hugs left in me
People who need to get older are much luckier than people who need to get younger
More time behind me means less time ahead – but at least the total is always the same
One thing hasn’t changed – the people who were my age years ago are still my age today
I didn’t realise how much the world was changing until I looked in the mirror
Life becomes much easier, once you get through youth, middle age, and old age
Babies are made in a few months but it takes seventy years to make a seventy-year old
How you feel about getting older largely depends upon how long you’ve been doing it
Ambition
What it means to be the best depends entirely on how good the others are.
Lord help me to meet this self-imposed and totally unnecessary challenge
Get out of my way – I am in a hurry to rush home and relax
I need to learn some patience – where can I get a crash course?
I want to dominate – to whom should I apply for permission?
It is possible that I am wrong – but that’s never at the top of my list of possibilities
I’ve tried talking to animals but I usually find their minds are already made up.
To the tax office: its all over between us – please don’t attempt to communicate with me again
How can we make a mutiny if nobody’s in command
My life has been greatly influenced by many books which I have never read
Whenever I come to a turning point in my life – I just go straight on
Success ahead is always much better than success behind: but much less certain
The only thing that keeps me going is that I’ve forgotten how to stop
I don’t know what I’m looking for – that’s what makes the search to exciting
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power
All I want is a little thing called total satisfaction
Success for some people depends on becoming well-known, for others it depends on never being found out
Doing it wrong fast is at least better than doing it wrong slowly
Change enough of the little pictures, and you’ll find you’ve changed the big picture
One way to making a big mistake is to start by putting many small mistakes together
Let’s be proud of what we are; regardless of the facts
Anger
Beserk & Amok are my two best friends
Going beserk and running amok are simply my ways of coping
By the shear force of my personality I alienate most of the people around me
Its not enough to have to have something to fight for, I also need something to fight against
Reason should not be resorted to until all attempts at a solution by force have been exhausted
The only good thing about anger is that it proves you have feelings
I would never deliberately hurt myself except in self-defence
All my enemies are potential friends – even though they may not be aware of it
Most of my threats do me no good at all if I have to carry them out
Not everything I dislike should be destroyed; some of it should simply be moved further away
Worry
Some people spend all their life worrying about the destination
Apathy
Few people know that for years I have been quietly wasting my time
How can I challenge myself when I know I am only bluffing
How can I do better tomorrow than today if there is no agreement about how I did today
I would save a lot of effort if I could operate myself by remote control
I have the rest of my life to improve but it may take longer than that
If I always did my best, then how would anyone know if was my best
I’m not much of a talker but I’m not much of a doer either
What shall I do with my God-given lack of talent?
I am torn between all the things that I don’t want to do.
What I want to feel is brave and adventurous, without actually having to risk anything
We mustn’t act hastily, let’s wait until our enthusiasm evaporates gradually
Facts should never be faced too early in the morning.
I can accept the inconvenient and the unjust but I cannot accept the inevitable.
The reason I never do anything is that there’s always something else to do first.
With a little more courage, I could get myself into a lot more trouble
I find being awake very tiring
I try to avoid stressful activities – that’s why I have so much free time.
Isn’t life hard enough without having to exercise
If you want to spend tomorrow being glad you did it, you have to do it today
For me, the easy things are so difficult that I never have time to attempt the hard ones
We can’t all be winners but we can all be tryers
Life isn’t easy, sometimes it’s all I can do to stay unconscious
What I need is a job I can get without ever having to make a good impression
Life is too short to do everything but too long to do nothing
I can’t believe its a whole year since whatever happened a year ago
The best ways of passing time are those that help you to forget that time is passing
Given enough time I can adjust to anything, but I’ve never yet been given enough time
A calender is a strange king of clock that gains 24hrs every day
I am glad the future hasn’t come yet, because I don’t think I could handle it right now.
Next time – I intend to be thoroughly prepared – for the last time
We get some kind of weather here nearly everyday day of your lifetime
Modern travel would be totally delightful if I could only learn to enjoy boredom, discomfort, fatigue
No journey is ever complete until you come back again.
In order to be ready when needed, you must unfortunately be ready when not needed.
If I do enough different things in enough different ways, I may eventually do something right
The surest way to learn is by doing it – but sometimes it is best to learn not to do it
I am torn by conflicting apathies
I’m thinking of quitting all of my activities in order to devote full-time to my boredom
Apathy
Not now – and maybe not later either
If I don’t do it today – what will I have to be glad or sorry about tomorrow
It would save so much time, If we could all be born knowing everything that’s ready known
I am in favor of self-reliance, especially if it prevents other people from relying on me
As time goes on, fewer and fewer things have ever been done before
Everything takes longer than you expect – even when you expect it to take longer than you expect
I love information, what I don’t like is having to do something with it
Once my potential is fulfilled – where will I get more potential?
What if nothing ever happens to me?
I don’t think I can face another year of annual events
It’s too late in the day to relax; I’ll have to go straight to bed
When I am sure I am right then nothing can stop me; but I’m never that sure
How can I do what’s expected of me if nobody expects anything of me
Keep taking chances; this could be your lucky life
Persevere! You can’t do anything a hundred times before you’ve done it ninety-nine
Don’t worry if you keep putting off decisions: eventually they’ll be made for you.
Shamus says ‘can’t be ars’d’
Some of my problems turn out to be more permanent than others.
There are somethings that children cannot know because they only learn them as adults
Communication
I want to reach your mind; where is it currently located?
I want to reach your mind, where can I find it?
What good is freedom of speech unless there are people who will listen
I disagree with everything you say, but I respect your right to be punished for saying it
Why has it taken me so long to tell you that I find it hard to communicate
The mind is a wonderful thing – everybody should have one
Mind if I think
Sometimes I make a mental note, but then forget where I put it
Purely by chance, the idea came to me that nothing ever happens purely by chance
Unfortunately it’s possible to do something extremely well that nobody ever wants done
This is no time to be reasonable
Thinking is a good exercise for the brain – unfortunately this applies to right and wrong thinking
It seems like only yesterday that we were calling today tomorrow
My strange behaviour as a child is easily explained: I was training to become a strange adult
My body usually knows what it wants but my mind is often much less certain
Always take your vitamins in alphabetical order;
The doctors have been doing everything in their power, but somehow I am still alive
My mind is resting so please don’t insert any troublesome thoughts
Frequent exertion is one way to prevent the pains caused by infrequent exertion
The main reason for wanting to stay healthy is so that I can keep doing my exercises
Don’t get well too soon; your an inspiration to us.
It costs money to stay healthy; but it’s even more expensive to get sick.
My struggle to remain healthy is gradually killing me
Questioning the Answers
Is it better to leave life still wanting more or satisfied that you’ve had enough
What exactly is life; I need to know before I can make important decisions
Life is part of a great adventure that I’m having
As soon as everybody chooses the wrong side, then by some miracle it becomes the right side
Aren’t I lucky to have survived so much bad luck
If only I could always have a good reputation without always having to be good
The future may consider me wrong the future may not necessarily be right
Confidence
Who I really am is one of those difficult questions I prefer to leave to the experts
Unfortunately my ability to stay unhappy for long periods of time has very little practical value
As a part of general amnesty, I have decided to forgive myself
I am the best me in the world
A certain group of experts can learn almost any language – they’re called babies
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your body is to leave it alone
To find out where you are it is sometimes necessary to go somewhere else
Why are my rehearsals so much better than my performances
How little I know about myself! Although I’m considered a leading authority on the subject
I want to be taken seriously! Isn’t that a joke
I’m a good leader if you don’t try to follow me too closely
I have to live with myself so I have to tolerate many things I dislike about me.
Somehow I have to play my role in life as a gifted beautiful well adjusted personality
Is there at least one person who believes in me?
How can I hope to be sure about you, when I’m not even sure about me?
To what do you attribute your total lack of appeal?
Life can be very deep – I try to stay at the shallow end
Why should I be the one to compromise – when I am the one who’s right?
The true artist is one who insists on producing a supply whether or not there’s any demand
My great ambition is to secure a speaking part in my own lifetime
Sometimes I think I understand everything – then I regain consciousness
In the continuing war between good and evil; those of us with any sense will remain neutral
If I ever become a saint; it will be a miracle
Conflict
Lets respect each other’s views; no matter how wrong yours may be.
I’ll be glad to discuss the problem as soon as you remove your hands from my throat
Its no good agreeing with a person who can’t make up their own mind
Don’t change a thing I like your inferiority just the way it is.
If I can’t have your full support; can I request a little less of your opposition?
I very much want to understand you because that would be a totally new experience
Liking who you are is sometimes much easier for me that liking what you do
I have right to ruin my life but you have no right to help me do it.
You were meant for me – perhaps as my punishment
Have you every considered what a rare privilege it is to be personally rejected by me.
Nobody ever told me love would be such hard work
We can’t yet cure all diseases but we are already expert at causing many of them.
There is a vast region of enormous potential located somewhere between your ears
Isn’t it surprising what terrible things people will do just to change a line on a map
The best way to stop threatening each other is to find something that threatens us all
Many problems could be solved if more people would just go and live somewhere else
We don’t need laws to make people care more about each other, what we need are disasters
As a goodwill gesture I will refrain from punching you on the nose
Must I risk my own sanity in trying to rescue yours
I know I am being fair when both sides accuse me of unfairness
What happened to you could have been worse – it could have happened to me
Will you be offended if I don’t envy you?
Correct me if I’m wrong, at your own risk
Even though it’s true; it can still be very insulting
Today I hate you, but try me again tomorrow
Why doesn’t it hurt you more when you hurt me?
I know there is something troubling you – is it me?
Must it always be you and me against me?
It’s not you I’m angry with – I’m angry at myself for letting you upset me
I’m very sensitive to pleasure – please don’t come too near me
I blame myself for not blaming you sooner
Wait! Come back! There’s a part of my face you haven’t stepped on yet!
Never expect fairness where my vital interests are concerned
How can you call it unreasonable when all I want is my own way
A good friend is worth pursuing – but why are they running away?
Somewhere there ought to be a club – for anti-social people
Confusion
Try to have an open mind but not so open that everything keeps falling out
Some of my instincts tell me not to follow some of my other instincts
Sometimes my mind and my heart give confusing messages, but my stomach gives clear messages
On this great voyage of life, why do I feel so often like a stowaway?
My life is already complicated enough without having to try to organise it
Why is the place I want to be… often far from where I am?
I will face the problem of how to live when I come to it.
It’s surprising how far you can go through life without ever having what you really need
There is no law against insanity.
I make the occasional visit to reality, but I am not a full-time resident
Congratulate me! I’ve just had another narrow escape from reality
By what process did I become a stranger in my own lifetime
I would like to speak with whoever is in control of my life and suggest some improvements
Let’s make it definite; I’ll see you when I see you
It’s not that I don’t trust you – or is it?
I feel the same way I did before I changed my mind
Wake me up when everything is organised
I never miss reality when I am not in it
The closer I get to my goal, the better my chance of discovering what it is.
My life shown a clear pattern of total unpredictability
Control
But if we eliminate too many unnecessary regulations, too many people may loose their jobs
Fool employment
It troubles me that I have no way of knowing what I have no way of knowing
Don’t cross over until you’re sure there’s another side
I make rules for myself quite easily, but I often have great difficulty following them
I am a potentially very dangerous influence on myself because I know my weaknesses so well
I want a signed apology from the world for the way it has been treating me
Considering the direction things are going, it’s impossible to predict in which direction they’ll be going next.
If we conceal all our embarrassing peculiarities, we’ll never know how many of us have them
Courage
Some minds will never change until enough people are willing to risk their lives to change them
Most of us live in safety only because some of us are always willing to face danger
I won’t let go of the past until you prove that I’ll never need it in the future
Why have I been singled out to be so ordinary?
The truth is we hide the same secrets on the same page
I’ve seen better days and worse days but this is the only day I’ll see today
Don’t do what you shouldn’t unless there’s a very good reason why you shouldn’t
Be brave and remember the worst that can happen is the worst that can happened
Death
One thing certain about death is that it’s an extremely inconvenient disability
If death doesn’t solve my problems then I’ll know I’m really in trouble
Think of death as a learning experience
How can I be sure that staying alive is really to my advantage
Stay alive – it’s the least you can do
I can take reality in small doses but life is much too big a dose
Now that I see what kind of game life is, I’m not sure that I want to play
Life is a wonderful opportunity – I wish it had come when I was more ready for it
My lifetime is just a moment in eternity, but it’s an important moment for me
Life can be an interesting worthwhile experience from beginning to end
The world is full of opportunities including numerous opportunities to get killed
I may be forgotten but I’m not gone
Officially we begin at birth and end at death, but it’s really much more complicated than that.
If only there was some way to learn in advance whose side time is on
Is it better to die before your memories or to have your memories die first
One requirement for staying completely healthy until you die – is to die very suddenly
No sense in dying before lunch
By what right do I hold the power of life and death over myself?
After coming this far in life; I might as well go all the way.
Try to live forever; you may not succeed but it’s worth the effort
Excess
Donations are desperately needed to support my reckless extravagance
I am on a special mental health diet – I can only eat what I enjoy
We are not responsible for our ancestors deeds, so why should they make us feel proud or shamed
If only I could relate to the people I am related too.
The only thing I fear is fear itself; but of fear itself I am scared to death
Meet me half way – you need the exercise
Instead of past present and future; you’d prefer chocolate , vanilla and strawberry
I may not be prosperous but at least I am overweight
If it’s sweet, it wants me to eat it
How can so many things that I have no more use for – still mean so much to me?
Guilt
You can’t have the joy of repenting unless you sin first
Where do people go to recover from being normal
I’m blameless and if even if I wasn’t, others are just as much to blame as me
I am only behaving well at present because I have so few opportunities to behave badly
Every time I do what I have to do, I get a little farther into trouble
The important thing is not to solve the problem but to fix the blameless
I’ve deserted from the war between good and evil but I can’t remember which side I was on
Watch out – it’s quite possible that some of best mistakes haven’t been made yet
First I lost my innocence; now I am trying to lose my guilt
Keep punishing yourself – you probably deserve it
Sometimes the worst possible punishment is to be completely forgiven
Deciding I’m guilty is easy, what’s hard is deciding on the length and severity of my punishment
Sleep
Miracles do happen but not often enough to be worth waiting forgotten
I feel much better now that I have given up hope
I am hoping very soon, to have something to hope for
If you can neither accept it nor change it – try to laugh at it
Sleeping is a part of living and if done well, can be one of the best parts
The only real cure for snoring is deafness
Having a good nights sleep is something I’ve always dreamed of.
The way to get through a long dark night is by sleeping through it
Loneliness
I am tired of being all by myself
I may not be easy to reach but I may be worth it
Thank you for leaving me alone, but please don’t overdo it
How can I have so little privacy, and yet feel so alone
Its better to risk trusting the wrong people, than to never trust anybody at all
From all of us to all of you: this empty greeting
There’s no harm in talking to yourself but try to avoid telling the jokes you’ve heard before
Misery
A terrible thing has happened, I have lost my will to suffer
This is terrible, I’ve forgotten why I hate myself
Sometimes I get very tired of always being me; and having the time always being now
I have loved myself and hated myself but I have never envied myself
I couldn’t teach anybody else to be me because I’m not sure how to do it myself
What I lack in pride I make up for in grievances
Some of the worst things that were ever done to me, were done with the best of intentions
Healing is nature’s way of telling you that you really matter
How can anyone be happy knowing that everyone is not happy
Congratulate me! I’ve graduated to a new level of suffering
Life need not be a struggle it can be a simple downward slide
You too can be exploited and cheated in your spare time
To save time I’m declaring the rest of my life a total failure in advance
The memory of a happiness can last much longer than the happiness itself
What are you doing to help relieve the world joy shortage
Misery
It comforts me to know that others are suffering too, but it doesn’t make the pain go away
Don’t worry about leaving your troubles behind, they will all still be there when you get back
Why is it so much easier to hope, than to believe?
Why are the most difficult questions always the ones that begin with why?
I come from a good home – that’s why they don’t want me back
What should I wear – for the next disaster
So why do so many of my mistakes refuse to go away
It seems unfair; I don’t ask much from life, yet life keeps asking so much of me
Why should I let you into my private hell
Sometimes my mind is so uncomfortable – I wish I could go somewhere and take it off
I am eagerly awaiting my next disappointment
I’ll be glad when the bad parts of my life are over and only the good parts remain
I know when I have had enough pain but it’s harder to tell when I’ve had enough pleasure
Isn’t anybody interested in exploiting my weakness for pleasure?
Sometimes I wish I could give all my emotions the day offended
Which came first – the good times or the bad times
Nothing can wear you down more completely that life
I’d have never left the good times If I’d realised exactly when I was leaving them
How can I concentrate on being (ill) – if people are trying to make me (well)?
Many things are good for depression but I don’t know anything that depression is good for
The universe seems wonderful in theory but in practice I don’t think it will ever work
Understanding the world is not my whole problem; another part is making the world understand me
If only I could see myself in proper perspective
Having explored and rejected all other possibilites; life must be, after all, for having fun
There’s a better time coming – or did we miss it overnight?
My success lies in having achieved a record number of failures
Try not to despair; these are difficult times.
Order
Your application for love and understanding is currently being processed
It was only yesterday’s sacrifices that made possible today’s disappointments
Always follow orders unless they are obviously crazy or illegal or you have a better idea
Anybody who requires my signature on any legal document obviously doesn’t trust me
First God made businesses, but the business people were lonely & unhappy, so then God created customers
What distinguishes a professional from an amateur? Is that a professional doesn’t have to enjoy doing it
According to our carefully kept records, all our affairs are in total confusion
I’m always punctual when the time comes to leave work
This could have been a perfect world – but then you and I would never have been allowed in
I hereby leave my parking place to the fastest bravest and strongest
Everyday millions of innocent people are forced from their homes by a disaster called work
Partnership
You’ll never know how much I appreciate you because I’ll probably never tell you
Thank you for trusting me, it shows you have excellent judgement
What is it like to be you?
But how do I honestly know you honestly want me to be honest
My thoughts are free to go anywhere but its surprising how often they head in your direction
Oh how can I regret that I devote my entire life to you and your problems
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me
Let me know if there is any way I can relieve your pain without increasing my own
What you say can mean anything but what you do means everything
I am always open for appreciation but for criticism you need to make an appointment
To me you are heaven but you are not exactly what I thought heaven would be
The secret of being a good lover is not knowing when to stop
The secret of being a good lover is not knowing when to stop
The only way to maintain our honest relationship is by concealing certain things from each other
I need more practice in being loved
You are everything I want – and a few things that I don’t want
The secret of our wonderful relationship is that much of the time it’s not really that wonderful
You can’t always be right and be married
Anything that is as popular as sex must be a fad that won’t last
There’s always time for your in my heart, if not in my calendar
Where has all the time gone? Why didn’t I spend more of it with you?
Almost everywhere there is fertile soil for planting praise and encouragement
There’s only one thing more beautiful than a beautiful dream and that’s a beautiful reality
Because of you, I remember good times: and because of the good times I remember you
What good is your love if I can never take it for granted?
We must have courage, faith and lunch sometime soon
You obviously need a push, but how can I push you towards me?
But if I yield to your reasonable demands then how can I be safe from your reasonable demands again
Think of me as someone who is often thinking of you
The more often we get together the less shocked we’ll be to see how much we’ve changed
You may never learn to understand me – but in trying you may learn to love me
Shall we consider our relationship satisfactory, attempt to improve it, or abandon it in despair
After all these years – how is it we are still friends
When I catch you you’ll be sorry that you didn’t let me catch you sooner
Suddenly I lost all control of myself and started missing you
Partnership
You know I’d never leave you but please don’t put me in a position where I can’t
Not everybody can change the world but every woman can at least try to change a man
My life is my responsibility but I can always use a little help
How can you possibly consider you own happiness more important than mine?
Never fall in love with anyone, you can’t afford to lose
If I can’t get what I want from you I’ll go away and get it from nobody
If it can’t be done in bed, it’s probably not worth doing it
Children who are born into happy families grow up speaking love as their native language
Will you still love me, when I am no longer so lovable
There was never any insanity in my family until I got married
Your smile is one the great sights of the world
In some cases a broken heart proves to be only a superficial wound
Mountains make good friends; even if you go away for years
You deserve some praise: so here it is
No matter how far you go from me; you can never pass the point of no return
There aren’t really any important differences between men and women but the unimportant ones are interesting
Resilience
Tensions are constantly high all along the border between right and wrong
The quality of my audience sometimes depends on the quality of my audience
I want to create something but I can’t find anything that wants to be created
Each of my failures has been an excellent preparation for the next one
My biggest regret about the things I have done is that I didn’t do some of them sooner
I’m glad there are at least some things somewhere that I don’t have to do today.
People who can’t cope with their problems should not be allowed to have them
Life is surely worth a certain amount of struggle but sometimes I wonder exactly how much?
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Trying is extremely important but what’s even more important is succeeding
I see what life is and yet, like a fool I still go on living it
Nothing we can do can change the past but everything we do changes the future
Thanks to all the pioneers, there are far too many pathways
I know which way the wind is blowing – but I still have to follow my own course
The same piece of trouble can be big or small depending entirely on whose it is
Separation
You only love me because you are afraid not to
The fact that I am not what you are looking for may be more your fault than mine
Somehow all of the magic has gone out of our separation
Love never dies a natural death
I’ve been married so long I’ve forgotten who I am
Don’t worry – I’ll stay with you all the way to the end of your money
Do your civic duty – marry early and often
Which is more sad; to lose your heart’s desire, or to find it no longer desirable?
I don’t want anything to which I am not entitled, by the law of the jungle
I like having somewhere to go, because it gives me somewhere to come back from
I’ve been desperately trying to save my marriage for the last 35 years
I have you, you have me – at least one of us is lucky.
You may be the answer to my prayers, but you’re not the answer I was hoping for
How dare you get along without me!
Is it I who am far away or is it you?
I am so glad I have you to escape from
What makes me worth so much to me and so little to you
Can it be that I am destined for you but you are not destined for me?
If I did anything wrong then I’m sorry; if I did anything right I’m pleasantly surprised
We might be better off without each other but is the experiment worth the risk
Is it a rejection or an invitation that you haven’t the courage to give me?
You know I’ll always help you if you need me; so please don’t need me
Apparently my role in life is to make you laugh, whilst yours is to make me cry
You meet all my requirements for total rejection
A fate worse than death – to be married alive
I wish I could feel more needed, without feeling obliged to fill the need
You never knew how wonderful we were; before we met each other
Marriage confers one special privilege: only a married person can get divorced
