Eat Me Flashcards
“When I hit thirty, he brought me a cake, three layers of icing, home-made, a candle for each stone in weight.”
the male partner goes unnamed through the poem and is only described through his control of her - establishes the stark power dynamic between them
the cake was made by him - he is disguising his abuse with ‘acts of love’ but even they contribute to his end goal of feeding her non-stop. Celebration is ironic. Signifies how coercion is often a root of abuse - his acts seem as though he cares for her even though it is clear he only wants to transform her into the outlet for his desires.
“The icing was white but the letters were pink, they said EAT ME. And I ate, did what I was told. Didn’t even taste it.”
The colours symbolize femininity and purity - ironic as these are the things she is being stripped of
Short sentences and caesura reflect the lack of thoughts or expression she has. She is simply following an order, devoid of thoughts when it comes to what she is being forced to do. He wants her to perform for his own sexual gratification.
“The bigger the better, he’d say, I like big girls, soft girls, girls I can burrow inside with multiple chins, masses of cellulite.”
repetition of the word ‘girls’ highlights that he does not love her, he just loves women who look like her. Alludes to the idea that he has completely infantilised her and left her in a vulnerable and childlike state - unable to think or act for herself.
The alliteration in “bigger the better” makes it seem like a pithy saying that he uses all the time. Links to ideas of nursery rhymes or playful idioms that might be used on children. Highlights his perverted desire to watch her fulfil his sexual appetite
“I was his jacuzzi. But he was my cook, my only pleasure the rush of fast food, his pleasure, to watch me swell like forbidden fruit.”
metaphor ‘jacuzzi’ suggests she is solely the object of his pleasure
him being her ‘cook’ highlights how she is so trapped in submission that she has been left completely dependent on him. She cannot imagine herself as gaining pleasure from anything else.
‘forbidden fruit’ is a biblical allusion - links to ideas of original sin and how his lust has caused her to become an embodiment of evil and disgust to the outside world despite him being the root of the problem
‘swell’ also has connotations of corpses - morbid and grotesque imagery to emphasise the extensive damage inflicted on her. His behaviour has completely eroded her identity
“His breadfruit. His desert island after a shipwreck. Or a beached whale on a king-size bed craving a wave. I was a tidal wave of flesh.”
Contrasting metaphors of a ‘desert island’ and a ‘beached whale’ highlight her self image vs her value to his pleasure. To him, her body provides salvation and sanctuary, but she is disgusted by herself and sees the very nature of her being as unnatural and pathetic.
“too fat to leave, too fat to buy a pint of full-fat milk, too fat to use fat as an emotional shield, too fat to be called chubby, cuddly, big-built.”
anaphora creates an increasingly distraught tone as she lists everything she cannot do or control. The poem is reaching its climax. The repetition also reflects her overwhelm of emotion as she finally understands the severity of her situation and how ruined her life actually is in this moment.
“The day I hit thirty-nine, I allowed him to stroke my globe of a cheek. His flesh, my flesh flowed. He said open wide, poured olive oil down my throat.”
Escalation in the abuse. The ‘celebrations’ for the milestones have gone from home-made cakes to pouring olive oil into her. He has also began to touch her when before he only watched her. Marks the complete abuse of power from the partner - he is only growing more dangerous and lustful as time goes on.
“open wide” is a phrase often said to babies/toddlers to make them eat their food - his fetish is perverse and infantilising.
Repetition of flesh, wave, too fat to
Throughout the poem, the speaker recycles words and phrases, creating lines that don’t flow completely and become subtly disjointed. Reflects her mental state as she has been completely infested/poisoned/ overridden by his ideals and his desires. She cannot even fully articulate herself and instead just reuses surreal comparisons that show us she has come to understand herself as an object too.
Extended metaphor
Since the narrative is so bizarre, the poem can be read as an extended metaphor for the effects of abusive and domestic violence and how victims are often unable to leave due to the state the abuse leaves them in. Food is a metaphysical conceit for the concept of dominant abusers and their submissive victims
“I left him there for six hours that felt like a week. His mouth slightly open, his eyes bulging with greed. There was nothing left in the house to eat.”
unclear if this is a genuine liberation - much irreversible violence, both bodily and psychological, has already taken place. “left to eat” is an ambiguous final line that might represent the speaker’s new start, but might display how she is still entrenched with old habits of the relationship . She still has a hunger that she cannot satisfy - reflects how she still has to face the fact that she has lost herself and is still the image of her abuser despite having escaped him. Leaves us wondering whether the speaker will be able to survive and reclaim her life, or whether she will continue to suffer/make harmful decisions for herself.
Tercets and half-rhyme
Shapes the poem in an underhanded way. Reflects the way the partner fattens up the speaker so she can become the physical representation of his desires. Creates an air of claustrophobia - highlights the partners obsession with ensuring she stays exactly how he wants her to.
