dystopia

Question 1

guard 2: man that whistle thing really works
guard: oh yeah
(i raise hand)
guard: question?

Answer 1

uh yeah… um… i have a couple of small ones: where am i, who am i, and what is going on?

Question 2

lavender: i’m violet
purple: no way. i’m violet

Answer 2

i think i’m magenta

Question 3

violet: whatever dude whatever dude

Answer 3

can we please stop fighting

Question 4

purple: i’m so sick of you trying to stop the fighting i will war your face

Answer 4

thats not helpful

Question 5

game master: welcome to the cuddles challenge

Answer 5

awww, no

Question 6

game master: begin the cuddling

Answer 6

hey i’m down for whatever. you guys wanna do some spooning?

Question 7

violet: …you’d just feel all warm and safe you know? man. violet? let’s do it

Answer 7

you’re violet. i’m magenta

Question 8

purple dies

Answer 8

you’re good at this

Question 9

violet: you’re making it weird

Answer 9

sorry

Question 10

violet: so how about them football teams

Answer 10

yes i say good

Question 11

• orange has sword*

orange: aha

Answer 11

whoa whoa somebody could get hurt with that

Question 12

orange: yeah. you. you’re going down purple

Answer 12

look out for that thing behind you!

throw slingshot

Question 13

orange: hey watch where you’re throwing that

Answer 13

sorry. oh no there it is again!

* pick up slingshot*

Question 14

orange: in totally not seeing this thing

Answer 14

it’s very fast. it’s like one of those bunnies - you know the bunnies that move really fast?

Question 15

orange: bunnies don’t move that fast. that’s kind of a myth. i guess i would call them quick

Answer 15

i can se that. hey look a distraction!

Question 16

orange: what? where? i totally don’t see if. where did it go purple?

Answer 16

stabs her

for the last time: it’s magenta

Question 17

• cuddles enters*

white: man get off me!

Answer 17

i think i’ve had enough cuddling for one day!

Question 18

game master: i’ve only seen this once before and he ate 2 contestants!
cuddles gets sword

Answer 18

hey man. it’s not you. um… seriously, it’s just that i don’t deal well with intimacy and i have a lot of diseases. i’m like a walking cabinet of bacteria. i just lick things. i can’t help if. the floor. the walls. i’m licking away
dodge the charge

Question 19

game master: and then there were two!

Answer 19

all right it’s just me and you

Question 20

white: correction: its you and me

Answer 20

that’s what i just said.

Question 21

white: ask me if i understood what you just said

Answer 21

what are you talking about?

Question 22

white: what are you talking about?

Answer 22

what?

Question 23

white: exactly. i’m already in your head man. ooh here we go

Answer 23

scramble for weapon, catch teddy bead
aha!
square off

Question 24

gamemaster: defeat all your opponents and you will survive the test!

Answer 24

whoa! hold on. let’s talk this out!

Question 25

zombies: brains brains brains

Answer 25

i know we’re all hungry. i’m hungry. you’re hungry. white is hungry. but i don’t think this is the time for hunger. let me tell you what time it is
motion for them to sit

Question 26

zombies sit

brains?

Answer 26

because i think i know what time it is, because i think i’ve got this all figured out now. you see - these guys need us. the gamemaster - the guards over there -

Question 27

guard 2: bruce

Answer 27

bruce. bruce needs us. he needs us. this whole world needs us. and why?

Question 28

white: hold on are you making a speech because i already made the speech. and it rocked

Answer 28

let me tell you why they need us. they got nothing else. these people… the have nothing to do! they sit around… they build giant mazes, and what else do they have going on in their lives? nothing!

Question 29

white: this is sounding like an inspirational speech right now

Answer 29

you know i saw some graffiti scrawled in the in the maze. and you know what it said? “homey don’t play dat” and it took me a while to figure out what if meant

Question 30

white: i pretty much started homey don’t play dat - you can’t use it in your speech

Answer 30

homey don’t play dat. homey… don’t play dat. homey - don’t play dat

Question 31

white: yeah i heard you the first time

Answer 31

the only way we win… is not to play. the GAME IS RIGGED! the only way we WIN - HOMEY DONT PLAY DAT

Question 32

zombies: brains brains
white: you don’t get to -

Answer 32

this entire stupid dystopia is built on the fact that we do what they say. well i’m not doing it anymore! i’m a homey! and homey don’t play dat no more!

Question 33

white: i agree! so what my speech is saying-

Answer 33

because today… is OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Question 34

white: you can’t do that! i’m the main character! i’m the one who gives the speech

Answer 34

stand with me and together we will refuse to-

Question 35

white screams a lot

Answer 35

whoops

Question 36

guard: nice work steve

Answer 36

thanks

Question 37

gamemaster: i think that’s gonna get our best ratings ever

Answer 37

well- i just gotta do the confessional and then we can wrap this thing up.

i’m alive… i’m alive… i think if there’s one thing the Maze taught me… it’s live your life for today’s live for today. that’s why i’m going to hannah’s resort and casino after this - they’ve got an excellent buffet and the best floor show of any casino in vegas. vegas baby. vegas.

Question 38

gamemaster: and cut!

Answer 38

who’s sponsoring the next season?

Question 39

gamemaster: disneyland. they’re asking for a lot of blood and violence

Answer 39

sure

Question 40

guard 2: hey can i ask you something

Answer 40

shoot

Question 41

guard 2: why do we do this?

Answer 41

well since the economy tanked, reality shows are basically the only thing this country makes. we employ a lot of people building mazes and abducting teenagers and creating artificial dystopias. we’re a dead based economy now

Question 42

guard 2: that’s horrible

Answer 42

yeah, but it’s a lot more humane than the NFL