driving test HD Flashcards

1
Q

okey-dokey, here we are

A

that’s it, huh?

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2
Q

oh, yeah. this is it. this is the guy. i call him george

A

aren’t cars normally female

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3
Q

not this one. he’s all man. I don’t have a lot of love in my life so i’m compensating.
by the way, i know we’re doing this test thing here, but i want us to be friends, okay?

A

Okay.

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4
Q

you can call me margie

A

okay margie.

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5
Q

and i’ll call you puddin.’
i’m kidding
i am too much. Okay—no i am friending you on Facebook though.

A

i wonder if there are other instructors available.

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6
Q

i’m so sorry

A

i mean, you seem like a great person really. I mean—we can hang out after this if you want, we can talk about your emotional issues—i mean—I’m fun-loving, let’s just be buds. Okay?

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7
Q

are you sure?

A

Yes, please!

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8
Q

YAY! All right let’s party!

A

All right.

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9
Q
  • take a left on this street.
  • accelerate speed limit.
  • smoothly please.
A

sorry.

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10
Q

nice going. easy does it. george likes it.

A

i’m trying

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11
Q

nothing like driving, you know? The open road!

A

should i keep going straight?

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12
Q

whatever you want. behind the wheel of a carlike this the world is your oyster. Turn right. Right. Right—RIGHT NOW!
there you go. yeah. accelerate to the speed limit.
you seem tense

A

i’m a little tense, yeah.

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13
Q

you gotta relax into it. look at your hands.

A

they’re at ten and two.

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14
Q

Ten and two?! Seriously? Ten and two is for losers who don’t know how to drive!

A

this is what the manual says, so i’m going to follow the rules.

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15
Q

no nononono—slide them—slide those hands down. i want to see nine and three.

A

i can’t really control the car as well at—

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16
Q

Nine and three. do it. that’s a little better. okay now—when i tell you—drop your right hand to the six position.

A

the six position?

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17
Q

did i stutter?

A

that’s the hardest spot to steer the car frrom!

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18
Q

correction: that is the coolest place to steer the car from.

A

I don’t know about this

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19
Q

do it! Now let go of the other one.

A

Oh no i-

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20
Q

NOW!

A

Ahhh!

21
Q

that’s right. you control goerge with one hand. just drive honey. Feel it. the road beneath you the hum of the engine, you control the beast. you are driving. you are queen fo the gods. got it? Queen of the gods.

A

i am?

22
Q

YES! you are behind the wheel! let me see your driving face.
remember: queen of the gods. let me see your queen fo the gods face.
that’s not queen of the gods. that’s like queen fo the worms. no—watch me—

A

i can’t watch you i’m driving

23
Q

out of the corner of your eye. this is my driving face

A

oh my gosh.

24
Q

yeah. look at this. look at it.

A

i don’t even know that my face can do that.

25
Q

your face can’t do it unless your soul does it first. this is how you drive. soul first. face second. also feet in there somewhere too.

A

there’s so much to driving.

26
Q

all right-we’re going to do another part of the test now. i’m going to create a real-world scenario. Got it?

A

Okay

27
Q

you know where the applebee’s is on the other side of town?

A

Uh…I think so.

28
Q

all right. you have three minutes to get there,

A

okay i can do that

29
Q

you have two children

A

what?

30
Q

let’s call them larry and petunia. they’re in the backseat. they haven’t had lunch or naps. i will provide their voices. ready?

A

Um…

31
Q

too late! Go! Driving face!

why are you going so slow! Mom you drive like a Grandma! Mom! MOMMMM! Drive faster!

A

i’m trying to keep to the speed limit, sweetheart.

32
Q

whoahwhoahwhoah time out. too nice. these are children. they’re barely above the level of animals, okay? if oyu treat them nicely they’ll destroy you. let’s try that again.
momm! Mommmmm!

A

What?

33
Q

why are you driving so slow?!

A

you wanna drive? You wanna drive this car?

34
Q

how much longer until we get there?

A

we’ll get there when we get there.

35
Q

i have to go to the bathroom. Mommm! I have to go to the bathroom! stop the car!

i have to go to the bathroom too!

A

there will be no peeing! Hold it!

36
Q

i can’t hold it!

A

you will hold it and you will hold it now, mister! if you had to go to the bathroom, you should’ve done that before we left!

37
Q

nice one

A

bathrooms are for the weak

38
Q

A little much.
OW! OW! He hit me!
No i didn’t you hit yourself!
he hit me again!

A

Kids, Mommy’s trying to drive right now

39
Q

OH THAT’S GROSS

stay on your side

A

kids please

40
Q

he licked me! Ewww! EWWWWW!

A

you licked your sister?!

41
Q

eyes on the road. eyes forward.
stop trying to lick me!
Oww! she hit me!
if you try to lick me again I’ll grab your tongue!
she’s making threatening comments! She needs to be grounded!

A

do you want me to stop this car? Do you want me to stop this car?

42
Q

why do we have to have boys in the family?
You’re mean!
You’re mean!

A

all right. that’s it.

out. get out. both of you. you can ride the bus.

43
Q

i’ll be good.

i like it here.

A

okay then. one more word out of either of you and i’m turning this car around and going home!

44
Q

Ding ding ding! Nicely done. and here we are at applebee’s

A

Wow.

45
Q

Can i say something? I really enjoyed your rage. you’re going to be a great mom.

A

Really?

46
Q

this might be my favorite driver’s test ever.

A

seriously?

47
Q

i want you to pull into the left lane and pass this semi-truck,

A

Okay.

48
Q

give it some gas.

A

i’m already going to the speed limit.

49
Q

i know. give it some gas.

A

should i—should i go over the speed limit?