Drama Lines Flashcards

1
Q

Douglas: You can manage, Mrs Withers. You’re doing fine.

A

Mrs Withers: This is an outrage. An absolute outrage!

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2
Q

Douglas: Think of it as an adventure.

A

Mrs Withers: I don’t want an adventure. I want a refund!

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3
Q

Arlene: That would be Douglas and Mrs Withers.

A

Mrs Withers: You have a great deal to answer for, young Captain Butterworth.

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4
Q

Tom: Don’t excite yourself, Mrs. Withers. In this heat it’s bad for your blood pressure.

A

Mrs. Withers: I’ll thank you to leave my blood pressure out of this. i told my husband you were far too young to be a ship’s captain. I should have known you’d do something wrong.

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5
Q

Tom: How did I know the ship hit a sandbar and half-sink?

A

Mrs. Withers: You’re the Captain. You’re supposed to know about such things. Where’s Napoleon? Where’s my precious darling?

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6
Q

Douglas: Here’s Napoleon, Mrs Withers.

A

Mrs. Withers: Poor, poor Napoleon. Are you quite sure you’re all right. “Woof, woof.” I shall certainly complain to the travel agency that booked me on that wretched vessel. I never want to hear the name of that ship again.

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7
Q

Brenda/Jan/Penny: Vengence

A

Mrs Withers: I said I never want to hear the name of that ship again

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8
Q

Brenda/Jan/Penny: Sorry

A

Mrs Withers: That’s another thing. Those girls. They’re imposters. They only pretended to be the DeVine Sisters.

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9
Q

Brenda: We only wanted a chance to prove we had talent.

A

Mrs. Withers: Fraud, that’s what it was.

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10
Q

Brenda: Wow. Think of the publicity when the world discovers a famous Hollywood star like Honey Hotchkiss is missing.

A

Mrs. Withers: I don’t like publicity of any kind. It’s vulgar.

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11
Q

Arlene: That little old couple from Pasadena. Honey’s secretary, Miss Buford. Anyone who’s not here in the lagoon is missing, Captain.

A

Mrs. Withers: For goodness sake, Captain Butterworth. Do something.

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12
Q

Penny: Sure

A

Mrs. Withers: I, for one, have no intention of tracking through the jungle like some foolish explorer. What time is luncheon?

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13
Q

Others: Luncheon?

A

Mrs. Withers: I may be shipwrecked, but I have no intention of foregoing the pleasures of civilization. I expect, Captain Butterworth, that you’ll make my stay on this island as comfortable as possible. Right Napoleon?

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14
Q

Honey: Thank you. I’m sure. Likewise, too. Put them in my bungalow and get me some ice water.

A

Others: Bungalow? Ice water?

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15
Q

Honey: My bungalow. I want to go home to my bungalow. Where’s the ice water?

A

Mrs. Withers: She may be a famous film celebrity, but she’s a dumb one.

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16
Q

Honey: Watch it, granny.

A

Mrs Withers: Granny? How dare you!

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17
Q

Arlene: I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here in the lagoon by yourself, Mrs Withers.

A

Mrs. Withers: I won’t be alone. I have Napoleon. He’ll protect me. Won’t you, Napoleon? “Woof, woof.”

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18
Q

Sees Witch Doctor

A

Screams

Mrs. Withers: The island is not deserted!

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19
Q

Witch Doctor: Walla-walla-mallamalla

A

Mrs. Withers: Get! Stay away from me!

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20
Q

Witch Doctor: Loomanga!

A

Mrs Withers: Sic ‘im, Napoleon! Bite him, Napoleon. “Woof, woof! Woof, woof!” Stay away, I say! “Woof, woof!”

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21
Q

Witch doctor: Walla-walla-mallamalla!

A

Screams

Cannibal!

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22
Q

Jan: The lagoon

A

Mrs: Withers: Who sent up that smoke signal?

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23
Q

Nurse Jane: I did.

A

Mrs Withers: Nurse Jane. At least we’ll have medical attention.

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24
Q

Trixie: What is this? A social hour? We are shipwrecked person. Doesn’t anyone have anything to say that’s important?

A

Mrs Withers: Is luncheon ready?

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25
Q

sits on crate

A

Screams

Mrs Withers: I believe this belongs to you, Nurse Jane. I am not seasick.

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26
Q

Nurse Jane: Oops.

A

Mrs Withers: We’re waiting for your words of wisdom, Captain Butterworth. You may commence.

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27
Q

Tom: First of all, I want to apologize for everything. I’m sorry the Vengence struck that sand bar and we had to abandon ship.

A

Mrs Withers: Ship! You call that rusty tub ship a ship!

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28
Q

Tom: Disgruntled employees.

A

Mrs Withers: None of that matters now, does it, Napoleon? “Woof, woof.” I trust you were able to radio our position before we abandoned ship.

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29
Q

Honey: Call my agent

A

Mrs Withers: An outrage -

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30
Q

Douglas: This is like something you’d rent on video.

A

Mrs Withers: “Woof, woof.”

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31
Q

Tom: Now hear this! We won’t accomplish anything by complaining.

A

Mrs Withers: A scandal, that’s what it is. A scandal.

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32
Q

Tom: I know that everyone got into the lifeboats. So I have to assume they reached the island.

A

Mrs Withers: My husband, the Commodore, is a skilled sailor. I know he’s safe.

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33
Q

Tom: Hard to say.

A

Others: Huh?

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34
Q

Tom: Look, it won’t be so bad. We’ll have to adjust. This lagoon will be headquarters. Plenty of stuff will come floating off the Vengence and we can use it to make camp.

A

Mrs. Withers: Make camp! How vulgar.

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35
Q

Douglas: Good idea, Captain. We won’t starve. There’s plenty of fresh fruit. No one will get scurvy.

A

Mrs Withers: Scurvy?

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36
Q

Tom: It’s going to be fun. You’ll see.

A

Mrs. Withers: Fun?

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37
Q

Miss Buford: Believe it.

A

Mrs Withers: Impossible! We’re lost on a tropical island. You can offer no help except to set up living accommodations in this lagoon.

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38
Q

Tom: Yes.

A

Mrs Withers: How you every got a ship in the first place is beyond me. However, when we’re rescued I can assure you you’ll never get another one.

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39
Q

Arlene: The Captain is right, Mrs Withers. We’ll have to make the best situation.

A

Mrs Withers: In that case, what do you intend to do about the cannibal?

40
Q

Others: Cannibal?

A

Mrs Withers: Yes, that’s what I said. Cannibal.

41
Q

Nurse Jane: Too much sun, perhaps. No sign of fever.

A

Mrs Withers: I’m not feverish.

42
Q

Honey: She’s demented. I’ve met her a type before.

A

Mrs Withers: I do not have a fever. I am not demented. I know what I saw. I saw a cannibal.

43
Q

Arlene: Really, Mrs Withers. You mustn’t let your imagination run wild. We have enough to worry about.

A

Mrs Withers: I did not imagine what I saw. I saw a cannibal.

44
Q

Brenda: Hoe do you know it was a cannibal?

A

Mrs Withers: Because he was wearing bones around his neck. Human bones!

45
Q

Tom: I’m sure you only imagined it, Mrs Withers. Understandable with the the shipwreck and all.

A

Mrs Withers: Why won’t anyone believe me? I tell you I saw a cannibal.

46
Q

Penny: Why didn’t you say something before?

A

Mrs Withers: Slipped my mind.

47
Q

Honey: what she saw was probably a mirage.

A

Mrs Withers: It was no mirage. It was a cannibal.

48
Q

Douglas: Could be some of the crew. Over here, guys. This way!

A

Others: This way! This way!

49
Q

Ben: Augghhh

A

Others: Auuggghhh

50
Q

Nurse Jane: The propeller isn’t spinning.

A

Mrs Withers: Send for the Red Cross.

51
Q

Miss Buford: An aviatrix is a female pilot.

A

Mrs Withers: Your ignorance is amazing, Miss Hotchkiss.

52
Q

Jan: You would

A

Others: Goon Lagoon?

53
Q

Others: Goon Lagoon?

A

Mrs Withers: It’s a vulgar name.

54
Q

Ben: Can’t help that. Better face it, sweetums. We’re all in the same boat. Marooned on Goon Lagoon– lagooned I call it–and we ain’t likely to be rescued

A

Cast: Lagooned! And - we - ain’t - likely - to - be - rescued. Help!

55
Q

Act ll

A

Come along, steward. Whatever you do, don’t let Napoleon jump from your arms and get away.

56
Q

Douglas: No ma’am

A

Mrs Withers: Captain Butterworth! Never around when he’s wanted.

57
Q

Douglas: Mrs Withers, may I ask you a question?

A

Mrs Withers: I don’t see any reason why not. What is it? Captain Butterworth!

58
Q

Douglas: Napoleon.

A

Mrs Withers: What about Napoleon?

59
Q

Douglas: He’s stuffed

A

Mrs Withers: Certainly he’s stuffed. He’s a toy dog. Captain Butterworth!

60
Q

Douglas: Wouldn’t you rather have a real dog? You know -

A

Mrs Withers: I thought you knew I thought everyone knew.

61
Q

Douglas: Knew what, ma’am?

A

Mrs Withers: I’m terribly allergic to animal fur. I don’t do anything but sneeze. But I do so love dogs. If I can’t have a real pooch, I’ll have the next best thing. I used to call Napoleon “Rasputin,” but when I found out he was made in France, I
decided he should have a French name. Does that clear everything up?

62
Q

Douglas: Uh-huh. I guess.

A

Mrs Withers: Let me have the little precious. You can take him for a walk along the beach later.

63
Q

Douglas: Yes, ma’am “Woof, woof.”

A

Mrs Withers: Come to Momma, precious.

64
Q

Douglas: “Woof.”

A

Mrs Withers: “Woof, woof.”

65
Q

Arlene: I’m happy to report that three more have reported in.

A

Mrs Withers: Excellent.

66
Q

Arlene: That little old couple from Pasadena. And the jogger.

A

Mrs Withers: No sign of the Commodore?

67
Q

Arlene: With Amelia Rushmore

A

Mrs Withers: She’s an unusual girl.

68
Q

Arlene: When her father knows she’s missing, the whole world will come looking.

A

Mrs Withers: What about the cannibals?

69
Q

Trixie: Ben Cheddar’s been on this island too long. First, he said the cannibals lived on the other side of the island. Then he said they lived somewhere else and only came here when it’s time for the wedding ceremony. I don’t think he knows that he’s talking about

A

Mrs Withers: I hardly think the sacrifice of a young girl to a volcano should be called a “wedding ceremony.” Here, steward, take Napoleon for his walk and don’t let him play with any stray mutts. Don’t let him talk to strangers.

70
Q

Douglas: No ma’am. Yes, ma’am. Whatever you say, ma’am

A

Mrs Withers: Be a good boy, precious. Wait until you hear my wonderful news, Miss Zane. You’re going to love it.

71
Q

Arlene: oh?

A

I’m going to give a luau. Isn’t that exciting?

72
Q

Trixie/Arlene: Luau

A

Mrs Withers: It will be the social event of the season.

73
Q

Arlene: I’d better sit down.

A

Mrs Withers: I’ve given this a lot of thought. Captain is right. I’ve been much too negative. We must adjust. At least for the time being.

74
Q

Trixie: You believe in the power of positive thought?

A

Mrs Withers: Indeed I do. The island has fruit and the sea will be generous with appetizers. The DeVine Sisters will entertain.

75
Q

Trixie: They ain’t the DeVine Sisters. They’re imposters.

A

Mrs Withers: What does that matter, Trixie? The important things is to get our minds off our troubles.

76
Q

Arlene: I must admit it’s an intriguing idea. I hadn’t thought of a luau.

A

Mrs Withers: I hope you don’t think I’m usurping your role, Miss Zane. After all you are the social director.

77
Q

Tom: A luau! It’s a sensational idea.

A

Mrs Withers: Naturally, dress will be informal. Alas.

78
Q

Arlene: That’s a clever idea.

A

Mrs Withers: Brilliant.

79
Q

Amelia: Am I invited?

A

Mrs Withers: But of course, Miss Rushmore. Just because you “dropped in” uninvited doesn’t mean you’re unwelcome. There’s no time to waste. What about the decorations?

80
Q

Arlene: I’ll work on it.

A

Mrs Withers: Excellent. Come along, Trixie. Let’s find that bark and I don’t mean Napoleon. Ha, ha. I made a small joke.

81
Q

Trixie: I’ll say.

A

Mrs Withers: As to the menu – we’ll start off with boiled sea water and kelp. Then the appetizers.

82
Q

Mayor: Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

A

Crowd: Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hero! Hero! Hero! Tom! Tom! Tom!

83
Q

Mayor: Calm down, everyone, please. Calm down. As you know, today is a red-letter day for our beloved city. Only a short time ago, we feared the worst. A ship sailed to the South Seas and sunk.

A

Crowd: A ship sailed to the South Seas and sunk.

84
Q

Mayor: Bet you can’t say that three times fast.

A

Mrs Withers: A ship sailed to the South Seas and sunk. A ship sailed to the South Seas and sunk. A ship sailed to the South Seas and sunk.

85
Q

That’s enough levity. Calm down, please. Thank you. Happily, thanks to Young Captain Tom Butterworth, not a single life was lost. He fought off wild cannibals and tropical fever. Pirates and indigestion. Insane gorillas. He kept everyone’s Spirits high. He’s a genuine hero. Made of gold, not tin.

A

Crowd: Hooray! Hooray! Hero! Hero! Tom! Tom!

86
Q

Cody: Captain Tom Butterworth is the finest skipper who sailed the seven seas.

A

Mrs Withers: Napoleon and I will never forget him. Never!

87
Q

MAyor: Attention, everyone. Here he comes? The man of the hour. The man of the day. The man of the week. The man of the month. The man of the year. Captain Tome Leroy Butterworth of the cruise ship Vengence. Hero!

A

Crowd: Tom! Tom! Tom! Hero! Hero! hero! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

88
Q

Honey: What’s with the never-ending jungle drums? I was trying to take a nap. A Hollywood star requires a lot of nap time.

A

Mrs Withers: Is something amiss? Those drums.

89
Q

Honey: What a grouch.

A

Mrs Withers: Man’s a fool.

90
Q

Amelia: No! No! No!

A

Mrs Withers: Ach-choo, ach-choo, ach-choo. Fur. I’m allergic to fur. Ach-choo

91
Q

Passengers: Hooray!

A

Mrs Withers: Ach-choo

92
Q

Trixie: Hey! That’s mine. You got that out of this chest.

A

Mrs Withers: Nonsense! That’s my necklace. I’d know it anywhere.

93
Q

Trixie: I fished it out of the water. It’s salvage. Goes to whomever finds it.

A

Mrs Withers: What rubbish. Give me that sparkling diamond necklace, you brute.

94
Q

Jones: This island is designated for target practice

A

Others: Target practice?

95
Q

Ensign Mulch: But they always take a few test shots before they start the bombardment.

A

Others: Bombardment!