discipline is destiny by ryan holiday -2024

Question 1

The Battle Against Pain:

Answer 1

Thats the thing about both pain and pleasure theyre felt in the body but they effect the mind and the mood -our temperament-which is something we must protect always,Pain can also be an indicator a warning light a reminder to slow down or make a change ,You dont make it that long without listening to your body without taking care of yourself

Question 2

The Battle Against Pleasure:

Answer 2

Dont just think about what a certain pleasure will give think about what will take out of you think about how what youre chasing is going to age,The body wants what it wants now it can deal with the consequences later we have to be smart and self controlled and self aware enough to intervene before that happens,By the standard of pleasure nothing is more painful than lack of self control ,Discplin is not punshment its a way to avoid punishment we do it because we love ourselves we value our selves and what we do

Question 3

Fight The Provocation:

Answer 3

Rember always:as wrong as they are as annoying as it is,it takes two for a real conflict to happen life people theyre going to give you the opportunity you can decline to accept it,We have to develope the ability to ignore to endure to forget not just cruel provocations from jerk but also unintentional slights and mistakes from people we love or respect lest we do more damage to ourselves than the stings of those slights ever could,It helps to be alittle deaf,Because you have work to do they want you to get upset because if youre going to stop and reply to every attack you might as well admit defeat right now youll never get anything done youll certainly never be happy and theyll have won.

Question 4

Beware This Madness:

Answer 4

Nearly every regret, every mistake, every embarrassing moment— whether it be personal or professional or historical—have one thing in common: Somebody lost control of their emotions. Somebody got carried away. Somebody was scared, or defensive. Somebody wasn’t thinking beyond the next few seconds.
Does that mean you never get to be spontaneous or to let out your emotions? Of course not. Love and be loved—feel passion. The idea is to stop yourself from saying something cruel to that person you love when you’re upset . . . or betray the trust of the person you love because of a few seconds of temptation. You can get angry . . . the important thing is not to do anything out of anger

Question 5

Silence Is Strength

Answer 5

is part and parcel of their culture of self-discipline. They never used two words where one would do. They never said more than was necessary—never shot off at the mouth, never overshared, never droned on or bloviated.
While each of us needs to cultivate the courage to speak up and speak the truth, we also need to develop the self-discipline to know when to stay focused and when to shut up (and how to measure what we do say with the utmost economy). You don’t have to verbalize every thought. You don’t have to always give your opinion—especially when it’s not solicited. Just because there is a pause doesn’t mean you have to fill it. Just because everyone else is talking doesn’t mean you have to jump in. You can sit with the awkwardness. You can use the silence to your advantage. You can wait and see. You can decide not to speak through words at all . . . and let your work speak for you,When you talk, it should matter. When you say something, it should mean something,Let them wish you talked more. Let them wonder what you’re thinking. Let the words you speak carry extra weight precisely because they are rare.An expert on speaking also knows when not to do so.Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less.

Question 6

Hold, Hold Your Fire

Answer 6

Could you have done this? Can you trust yourself enough to stand alone? Can you stoically endure the criticism and the questioning to persist in what you know is right? Even at great cost? A leader who cannot do this . . . well, they’re not a leader. They’re a follower
In life, in war, in business, we often only get one moment, one opportunity. Nobody is going to give you a do-over. You never get to go back and try it differently—to make up for deficiencies in preparation, to time things better, to get more leverage. One shot. Are we strong enough to wait for it? Can we discipline those nerves? Can we make it count ? Yes. Yes, we can. We must.

Question 7

Temper Your Ambition

Answer 7

There is a considerable amount of self-discipline required to quit bad habits, particularly the more gluttonous ones. But of all the addictions in the world, the most intoxicating and the hardest to control is ambition. Because unlike drinking, society rewards it. We look up to the successful. We don’t ask them what they are doing or why they are doing it, we only ask them how they do it. We conveniently ignore how little satisfaction their accomplishments bring them, how miserable most of them are, and how miserable they tend to make everyone around them in turn.Ambition is good, it just must be tempered. Like all elements of selfdiscipline, it’s about balance.Without the brake that prevents us from getting carried away, ambition not only deprives us of happiness, but it can very well destroy us . . . and harm others,We don’t need accomplishments to feel good or to be good enough. What do we need? The truth: not much! Some food and water. Work that we can challenge ourselves with. A calm mind in the midst of adversity. Sleep. A solid routine. A cause we are committed to. Something we’re getting better at,People we love and who love us, Everything else is extra.

Question 8

Money Is a (Dangerous) Tool

Answer 8

So many “rich” people find themselves in this position. The point of success was supposed to be security and freedom and contentment. In reality, it brought them anxiety, envy, and instability.When your choices turn you into someone who has to worry about money, then you are not rich . . . no matter how much you make.If you have money, spend it . . . the problem is when people spend what they don’t have, to get things they don’t need, at a price nowhere near worth the cost.The problem is that many of us tell ourselves that someday we’ll be beyond this, that if we can just earn enough, be successful enough, we won’t have to consider any of it. We will be beyond moderation and financial conscientiousness. We will have transcended the everyday worries of the common man. We can just do what we want, when we want, as much as we want. Because we’ll be “good,” we’ll have “arrived.” Here’s the thing: This never happens.No amount of money is ever going to truly free you. But being less dependent, caring less about money? That will free you right now.

Question 9

Get Better Every Day

Answer 9

we cannot remain as we are.” It doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. Nobody is as good as they could be. Nobody is perfect. Everybody can improve.If you think you have room to grow, you do and you will. If you think you’re as good as you can be . . . you’re right. You won’t get any better.The Japanese word for this is kaizen. Continual improvement. Always finding something to work on, to make a little progress on. Never being satisfied, always looking to grow.If the first step is just showing up, committing to doing something each day, then the next step is finding something to focus on getting better at each day.Think about it: Most people don’t even show up. Of the people who do, most don’t really push themselves. So to show up and be disciplined about daily improvement? You are the rarest of the rare. And if improvement sounds difficult, how about just making fewer mistakes?Are you getting better? Because if you’re not . . . then you’re probably getting worse. Anyone, whether they’re a professional athlete or a housecleaner, can get better at their job. You can get better at being a person, a citizen, a son or a daughter. You can get better at how you think, how you focus, what you think about.he was focused on how he could get better every day, in every way. One can imagine that, for Epictetus, this discipline would have been extremely helpful in those dark times. Because it gave him something to focus on—something only he controlled, not his master, not society, not his station in life. But this discipline is also helpful in the good times, too, preventing one from getting too cocky or complacent.You’re never content with your progress and yet, you’re always content . . . because you’re making progress.

Question 10

Share the Load

Answer 10

It takes discipline not to insist on doing everything yourself. Especially when you know how to do many of those things well. Especially when you have high standards about how they should be done. Even if you enjoy doing them,he reminds us while a leader must know how to do anything, they cannot conceivably do everything . It’s not physically possible. It’s not mentally possible. Often, the best way to manage the load is to share the load.We feel obligated. We feel bad spending money. We feel guilty asking for help. No matter how well-intentioned, the outcome is the same: We wear ourselves down. We harm ourselves, we harm the cause, we neglect the main thing. We end up depriving the world of progress—of the benefits of what economists call the law of comparative advantage. You have to be able to pass the ball . . . especially when somebody is open and has a better shot. You have to be able to share the minutes with other players, as those Spurs starters were willing to do, because that’s what teams do.Everything in life is a team sport.

Question 11

Respect Time

Answer 11

We are all given the same twenty-four hours each day, just as each basketball team is given twenty-four seconds per possession on the court. To not be aware of it? To not respect it? To not know how to use and manage it? It is not just sloppy, it’s stupid. You’re in the game, always. You’ve got to know the time precisely because you will never know when it’s going to run out on you. That’s what the reminder memento mori means. No one can take time or life for granted . . . as it runs out for all of us.You see, time that is wasted is also wasting us. When we kill time, we are killing ourselves. We have to learn how to use time or else it will use us . . . up.“The modern stoic knows that the surest way to discipline passion is to discipline time: decide what you want or ought to do during the day, then always do it exactly the same moment every day, and passion will give you no trouble.” Now, one doesn’t have to follow this advice literally to still see the deeper message: Routine is an essential tool in the management of time and the suppression of those negative forces of distraction, procrastination, and laziness. The person who wakes up whenever, wakes up and does whatever, orders their day however ? This is a person who will never have enough time, who will always be behind.Take a minute to think about how you spent the last year, the last month, the last week, the last day. Think about how much of it was wasted, how much of it was half-assed, how much of it was spent in reaction to things out of your control. And even if you have decent results to show for this time, still, you could have done better. We all could have.At least for now. Because you have today. You have the present moment. How will you spend it? What will you make of it? What will it amount to?
Now is the time. Because now is the only time you have.

Question 12

Put Up Boundaries

Answer 12

You know, minding your own business. Setting the rules of engagement. Keeping your private life private. Not letting people drag you down into the muck. Not getting entangled in other people’s dysfunctions (or entangling them in yours). Being strong enough to communicate what you like and dislike. Respecting other people’s space and preferences.Boundaries are about drawing some lines around yourself—healthy borders between what you’ll share and what you won’t, what you’ll accept and what you won’t, how you treat others and how you expect to be treated, what is your responsibility and what isn’t.It’s about knowing who you are, and just doing what’s comfortable for you, and not letting people pull you in a thousand different directions. Because if you allow [it] . . . people will have you doing all kinds of stuff, but it has to make sense for you .” Keeping the main thing the main thing is impossible if you’re not capable of saying no or pushing back when others put too much on your plate. You can’t keep your head about you in stressful situations if you have no idea who you are or what you stand for. You can’t be a strong parent if you’re a mess or if you’re still letting your parents walk all over you. How will you get anything done if the temptations of social media rule your life? How can you get back up after a failure if you are overly concerned with what other people think of you? You won’t do your best work if you’re constantly micromanaging everyone else’s.

Question 13

Do Your Best

Answer 13

“But did you do your best?”
Of course , Carter felt himself rushing to answer, as we all might if asked such a question. But before he could, something inside stopped short. What about the times he had been tired? What about the classes when he’d been confident enough in his grades that he could coast? What about the questions he hadn’t asked or the times he’d been distracted? What about the professors he’d found boring and paid little attention to? What about the extra reading he could have done—on weapons systems, on history, on science,“No, sir,” he found himself confessing, “I didn’t always do my best.”
“Why not?” Why didn’t you do your best? It was a question that would take many shapes, and challenge and inspire the young man in many ways for the rest of his life. As in: Why are you holding back? Why are you half-assing this? Why are you so afraid to try? Why don’t you think this matters? What could you be capable of if you really committed? If you’re not giving your best, why are you doing it at all?
Up to that time he would be considered a ‘failure.’ As long as a man is trying as hard as he can to do what he thinks to be right, he is a success, regardless of the outcome.” This is the wonderful thing about doing your best. It insulates you, ever so slightly, from outcomes as well as ego. It’s not that you don’t care about results. It’s that you have a kind of trump card. Your success doesn’t go to your head because you know you’re capable of more. Your failures don’t destroy you because you are sure there wasn’t anything more you could have done. You always control whether you give your best or not. No one can stop you from that. You don’t have to end up number one in your class. Or win everything, every time. In fact, not winning is not particularly important. What does matter is that you gave everything, because anything less is to cheat the gift.
“You must always play your best,” she had told him, “even if it’s only in the waiting room at Chehaw Station, because in this country there’ll always be a little man hidden behind the stove . . . [who knows] the music and the tradition, and the standards of musicianship required for whatever you’ve set out to perform.

Question 14

Elevating Yourself

Answer 14

the root of the word discipline is the Latin discipulus, or pupil. It implies the existence of a student but also a teacher. This is the beauty of the relationship between Antoninus and Marcus Aurelius. One man, who, despite his self-interest, had the self-control and the kindness to be a tutor and mentor. The other was willing to learn, humble enough to be the disciple of a teacher of such self-discipline and goodness.
“unwavering adherence to decisions, once he’d reached them,” which meant never letting go of things “before he was sure he had examined them thoroughly, understood them perfectly.”
A normal person, a lesser (and, sad to say, more typical) leader might lament this parade of tragedies. Not Marcus. It wasn’t bad that this stuff happened to him. It was an opportunity. “The impediment to action advances action,” he wrote to himself, “what stands in the way becomes the way. ” All the adversity, all the difficulty—as well as the awful power and luxury—was an opportunity for him to prove himself. To show that he had really learned from Antoninus, that he didn’t just believe in temperance, but that he lived it.
Although Marcus was of good character, he knew that character was something that needs to be constantly worked on, constantly improved. He understood the second we stop trying to get better is the moment we start gradually getting worse.He never wanted to stop learning, never wanted to stop getting better.

Question 15

Tolerant with Others. Strict with Yourself.

Answer 15

“I am prepared to forgive everybody’s mistakes, except my own.”
“Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.”
Tolerant with others, strict with yourself.
The only person you get to be truly hard on is you. It will take every ounce of your self-control to enforce that—not because it’s hard to be hard on yourself, but because it’s so hard to let people get away with things you’d never allow in yourself. To let them do things you know are bad for them, to let them slack off when you see so much more in them.But you have to. Because their life is not in your control.Credit them for trying. Credit them for context. Forgive. Forget. Help them get better, if they’re open to the help.” Let them have their fun. Let them live and work as they please. You’ve got enough to worry about when it comes to your own destiny. It’s not on you to try to change everyone else. Be a strong, inspiring example and let that be enough . . . and even then try to be empathetic.
Discipline is our destiny. From Antoninus, Marcus Aurelius learned that just trying to escape our own faults is hard enough work to keep us busy for a lifetime. None of us are so perfect that we can afford to spend much time questioning other people’s courage, nitpicking their habits, trying to push them to reach their potential. Not when we have so much further to go ourselves.We’re on our own journey and, yes, it is a strict and difficult one. But we understand that others are on their own path, doing the best they can, making the most of what they have been given.

Question 16

Make Others Better

Answer 16

Cato and King George VI then, by being so strict with themselves, actually had the effect that many leaders who are strict with their followers fail to achieve: They made people better. To reach your destiny will require such a hero. But to truly fulfill it, you will need to become such a hero yourself—to live in such a way that you call others to reach their own.That’s what great leaders do: They make people better. They help them become what they are.“The path that a great man follows becomes a guide to the world.”That’s the power of discipline. It makes you better . . . and then better still because of the positive effect it has on the world around you.
But we can be a positive force in our community. We can show our children, our neighbors, our colleagues, our employees what good choices look like. We can show what commitment looks like by showing up each day. We can show what it means to resist provocation or temptation. We can show how to endure. We can show how to be patient.What’s up to us is that we are good. That we do right. That we conquer ourselves. We can’t force anyone else to do the same. But we can plant a seed. We can rest comfortably in our destiny, knowing that, eventually, inevitably, it’ll make a difference for someone. Because like courage, there is something contagious about discipline. The fire within us can burn bright enough to warm others. The light within us can illuminate the path for others. What we accomplish can make things possible for others

Question 17

Grace Under Pressure

Answer 17

This doesn’t just happen, as you know. It is the culmination of years of study and practice, of falling and getting back up, of getting better each day. “In my own case,” Napoleon would say, “it’s taken me years to cultivate the self-control to prevent my emotions from betraying myself.”Grace under pressure looks beautiful, but it is a function of magisterial self-control and will. Of course the person is scared. They are tired. They are provoked. But they manage to subsume all that. They rise above it. There is no leader, no artist, no parent who has made it their whole lives without high-pressure situations, without moments when it felt like things were spinning out of control, without a singular moment, in many cases, where everything rested on what they did next.We need to understand that temperance is more than just being mild or calm in stressful situations. It’s more than just putting up with the occasional criticism or keeping some of your urges in check. Sometimes it’s having the strength to not do the thing you want to do more than anything else in the world. It’s holding back the most natural and understandable and forgivable feelings in the world: taking it personally. Running away. Breaking down. Locking up with fear. Celebrating with joy. Cursing in anger. Exacting retribution.For the people we love, we are strong enough to get through anything. For the cause or the calling we have committed to, we are strong enough to endure it. We have to be.
We do it because they’re watching—our kids, our followers, our students, the world at large. We not only don’t want to let them down, we want to inspire them, we want to show them what’s possible, we want to show them that we really believe in this stuff.

Question 18

Carry the Load for Others

Answer 18

A leader must be selfless, they must sacrifice, they must face the same deprivations as everyone else in the organization. If you can do this, Mattis learned from the writings of General Viscount Slim, “they will follow you to the end of the world.”
In fact, the best commanders take the smaller tent. They pass their extra provisions on to their troops. They don’t go easier on themselves, they go harder. Because they know that it’s not just about them anymore.
Being the “boss” is a job. Being a “leader” is something you earn. You get elevated to that plane by your self-discipline. By moments of sacrifice like this, when you take the hit or the responsibility on behalf of someone else. Success does not free you from self-control, as we have said. It does not free you from hard work or consequences either. Now you will have to help others carry their loads too. And you will do this gladly, because when you accepted the rewards you also accepted the responsibility. the leader shows up first and leaves last. The leader works hardest. The leader puts others before themselves. The leader takes the hit.
you’re the one who has to follow the rules to the letter. You’re the one who has to show you really mean it. The more you’ve done, the higher the standard you must hold yourself to. The more you have, the more selfless you must be. Not for the sake of optics, but because it is the right thing to do. Because that’s what you signed up for when you took the responsibility. Everything that General Mattis told his troops about sacrifice, about helping each other out, about duty, about humility, about empathy? None of it would have mattered as much as it did had he not been caught, time and again, actually living by those ideals. We have to show, not tell: first in line for danger, last in line for rewards. First in line for duty, last in line for recognition.

Question 19

Be Kind to Yourself
13-5-2024

Answer 19

Of course, the entire point of self-discipline is that we are strict. We hold ourselves to high standards. We don’t accept excuses. We push ourselves always to be better. But does that mean that we whip ourselves? That we hate ourselves? That we treat ourselves or talk to ourselves like a bad person? Absolutely not.

“What progress have I made?” he wrote. “I have begun to be a friend to myself.” A friend to yourself. You are not the enemy. You’re the person doing the best you can. You’re the person getting better every day. You’d never let a friend say they were worthless. You’d never let them give up because it was too late. You’d never let them write themselves off. You’d refuse to let them abuse themselves, to torture themselves.

From a place of love and support, we grow. It is an act of self -discipline to be kind to the self. To be a good friend. Don’t beat yourself up. Build yourself up. Make yourself better. That’s what friends do

Question 20

The Power of Giving Power Away
20-5-2024

Answer 20

Managing our ambition is one thing. Holding ourselves accountable, another still. But turning down power? Willingly giving away or sharing the force that is supposed to corrupt absolutely? It is the rarest thing in the world. It is temperance embodied.

Why would you give it away once you have it? Why would you share what’s yours ? Well, the most compelling reasons are on display in the people who cannot do this.

The person who cannot resist is a danger to themselves and to the organization. The person who needs this, who cannot bear to be anything but in charge, they are not great, even if they achieve great things. They are an addict! They do not have power, power has them. These are never the leaders whose organizations achieve sustained success or reach their potential because they are incapable of planning for their succession, they are incapable of empowering others, they are incapable of doing anything that diminishes their own significance. Looking at the opportunities before him in the mild light of calm philosophy, Washington chose the path of Cincinnatus.

Plato said that the best leaders didn’t want power. In truth, it’s that they didn’t need it. Because they have conquered their appetites and their ego, they are stronger, more independent, less corruptible, calmer, kinder, more focused on what matters.

What matters isn’t the title. It isn’t the power. It isn’t the wealth. It isn’t the control. That greatness isn’t what you have. It’s who you choose to become. Or who you choose to remain.

Question 21

Turn the Other Cheek
20-5-2024

Answer 21

It might be possible to punch a person who is that compassionate, but it is impossible to beat them.
The thing about marriage, about relationships, about putting ourselves up and out there in public is that they open us up to being hurt. They make us vulnerable. Protecting ourself is easy all we have to do is close back up. To make it more than five decades as O’Connor did requires a continual turning of the other cheek, of remaining vulnerable, of putting another person first, of forgiving and loving and accepting and cherishing.

Can you do that? Are you strong enough? Do you love enough? The same goes for the causes we have committed to. We’ll fall short of them and have to get back up. Our commitment will be tested beyond comprehension. We’ll be asked to sacrifice . . . and then sacrifice some more But if we can do it, if we can keep showing up, keep giving, and keep striving to live up to those impossibly high standards?we reach the mountaintop

Question 22

How to Make an Exit
20-5-2024

Answer 22

Sometimes we have to rush in. Sometimes we have to hold our fire. But often, the hardest thing is to go the other way. Our instinct is to charge ahead. There is a part of us that feels like it would rather die than admit defeat, or worse, run away. In storybooks, in history books, retreat is the opposite of heroism, of courage, of discipline.Yet that is sometimes exactly what we must muster the poise and courage to do.

It would be wonderful if no battles were ever lost by the good guys, if fearlessness or hard work were always enough, but this is not reality. Sometimes you have to live to fight another day. The question is not when you will have to do this, but how you will respond to it when that day comes

When things look lost, some just give up—terrible things come from this collapse of will. Disorder and apathy compound the problem, prevent things from being salvaged, even inflict collateral damage on others. This is not the way,At the same time, there are others who refuse to give up, thinking that this stubbornness is a virtue. But it, too, is a vice. The person who can only go forward . . . who never backs up, who has no escape plan, who is not brave but reckless. They are not self-controlled, they are stuck in one gear. You don’t win everything, every time—not in war, in life, or in business. A person who doesn’t know how to disengage, to cut their losses, or to extricate themselves is a vulnerable person. A person who does not know how to lose will still lose . . . only more painfully so.

We keep on dumbly doing the same things we’ve always done . . . under the illusion it will someday bring about different results. We think it’s a sign of character that we won’t give in, when it may well be stupidity or weakness. Or we think that we can continue going forward forever, when in fact it is exactly this insatiability that often leads us right into the trap that the enemy laid for us. Hope is important but it is not a strategy. Denial is not the same thing as determination

Can you put your ego aside and accept defeat—or irreconcilable differences? Can you walk away when it’s time? Even when it’s so tempting not to? Can you keep it together even as everything is falling apart—when all eyes are watching, waiting, for you to fall apart alongside it? You must pay your debts, own your mistakes, communicate your intentions. You must have a plan for what you’re going to do after. Whether that’s a next project, a new chapter, another charge. Retreats, we must remember, are only temporary. They are buying us time until we can take the offensive and courageously attack again in pursuit of our victory

Question 23

Endure the Unendurable
20-5-2024

Answer 23

“Oh, it seemed impossible to me to leave this world before I had produced all that I felt capable of producing.
Of course, all things in life require some form of endurance. Patience. Toughness. Delayed gratification. All that. But what about life itself? “Sometimes,” as Seneca would write from the perspective of his own crippling illnesses and then exile, “even to live is an act of courage.” And discipline too.

Not just weathering a storm or two, but something beyond that . . . as anyone who has had a bad year or decade or worse. But it is this, the struggling, who are beset by difficulties and pain and doubt, who refuse to give up, who refuse to stop trying. This is more than courage. They have conquered themselves in body and mind, even if those are precisely the things working so hard against them. We must look to them as heroes.

Think of the mothers who pushed through postpartum. Think of the people who fought through cancer, through bankruptcy, through humiliating failure. Think of the addicts who battled withdrawals to bounce back from rock bottom. Think of the people who clawed their way out of generational poverty. Think of the slaves who survived the worst of what humans can do to one another. They kept going. They didn’t quit They kept going. So can you. Don’t despair. Don’t give up. Keep the faith. Because one day, you will look back from the other side of this struggle . . . and be glad you did. All of us will.

Question 24

Be Best
20-5-2024

Answer 24

“Be the best and always superior to others,”
But Posidonius wasn’t talking about achieving more victories over the enemy, he was talking about conquering the self. Not honors, but being honorable.
Best is the person who adds shine to their accomplishments with their discipline, not the other way around.

In the end, it’s not about what we do, it’s about how we do it and, by extension, who we are. Too often, we find people choosing to be great at their profession over being a great human being, believing that success or art or fame or power must be pursued to the exclusion of all else.
“perfection of character: to live your last day, every day, without frenzy or sloth or pretense.”
This is what you find when you study the true masters of any profession. They don’t care much about winning, about money, about fame, about most of the things that have come their way as a result of their success. Their journey has always been toward something bigger. They aren’t running a race against the competition. They are in a battle with themselves. Self-discipline has never been about punishment or deprivation. It is about becoming the best, the best that you are capable of becoming.The battle to be the best has less to do with beating others and more to do with beating down those urges, those flaws, those selfish instincts that every human has.

It cost him everything. As it does for all of us, when we compromise, when we relax our discipline, when we make “exceptions” and do what is expedient instead of what we know is right.Rarer still, and all the more impressive, are those who manage to achieve these feats without losing control of themselves, without becoming slaves to their ambition, to their careers, to their urges. Who will you be? What race are you running? Who are you trying to beat? And is it for the best?

Question 25

Flexibility Is Strength
21-5-2024

Answer 25

Like anyone who trained intensely at something, Musashi was at risk of rigidity, of becoming trapped in a certain style, a certain approach. This is the natural by-product of any kind of specialization.
When you practice doing something a certain way a thousand times and then a thousand times again, this becomes the way you expect it to go, the way perhaps you need it to go. You follow your routine, you set up your system, you develop your style, and you find freedom in it . . . but also, potentially, slavery.

“With weapons as with other things,” he would write, “you should not make distinctions. It is wrong for either general or soldier to have a preference for one thing and to dislike another. When you put your life on the line, you want all your weapons to be of use,” he said. Or rather, you want to have as many weapons as possible.

Of course, some things, like our principles, cannot change . . . but everything else? We have to be strong enough to adjust and adapt . . . lest we end up angry, bitter, and impossible to work with.

Because they couldn’t understand that “the way they’d always done things” wasn’t working anymore. Or that “the way they were raised” wasn’t acceptable anymore. We must cultivate the capacity for change, for flexibility and adaptability. Continuously, constantly. Changing the little things day to day.

Flexibility doesn’t mean we throw out what’s important, but it does mean understanding how to live and let live, how to rest comfortably in our traditions while allowing new and improved ones to be created. It also means, as the world changes and our position within it changes, adjusting, finding a way to be true to our principles that doesn’t condemn us to bitterness or needless failure or being on the outside of things.

Question 26

Unchanged by Success
21-5-2024

Answer 26

Precisely when we think we’ve earned the right to relax our discipline is exactly when we need it most
that they didn’t use their power or position to purchase what so many people do—ego. Or exemptions from the rules.

He meant this not just because he was a good friend to himself, but because the result of his moderation and self-control was resilience. The gift of his strictness, of his self-containment, was tranquility—amid both success and adversity. This is something we can all have when we stop caring what other people say or do, only what we do. When we focus only on heading “straight for the finish line, unswerving.”

It’s easy to be modest when you have much to be modest about. But now you’re in a position to indulge your passions. It’s easy to follow the rules when you are not above rules. Now people will make excuses for you. Now it really is about self- discipline, because all the other forms have gone away

But you’re going to show them that you’re better and bigger than that. That your victory was not a fluke, but that you deserved it and have what it takes to build and maintain it. You will concentrate your mind on what counts. You will not be inflated by the changes in your fortune. You will show that success has not changed you. Except that it has made you better .

Question 27

Self-Discipline Is Virtue. Virtue Is Self-Discipline.
21-5-2024

Answer 27

Here at the end of it, it’s worth pointing out: Words don’t matter. Deeds do. Nothing proves this more, in fact, than the relationship between temperance and the other three virtues of courage, justice, and wisdom. These things are impossible, worthless even, without self-discipline to bring them about.

We can fight courageously for our rights, for the power to be our own masters—as we are entitled to be—but that means, ultimately, we have to be responsible for ourselves. Because if we are not, someone or something else must be. See how far you get without self-discipline, how long your success lasts, how quickly any virtue can become a vice if taken too far . . . including courage, justice, and even wisdom. Self-discipline is the only way. It’s the moderating influence against the impulse of all other things

What good will any virtue be if it exists only on paper? What’s the point if you don’t have the courage to live it? To stand alone with it? To insist on it even with so many rewards accruing to a life moving in the opposite direction? Sure, there is a relationship between study and practice, but at some point the rubber meets the road. We contemplate truth and then we have to act on it.

Self-discipline is not something that just happens to you, it is something you cultivate. Just as a writer only becomes one by writing—being disciplined is something you prove by the life you lead.

It wasn’t their words that mattered. It was what they did because of who they were
It doesn’t matter what we say here, it matters what they did there.
We can learn about virtue all we want, but when we get to the crossroads, there we will have to make a choice.
“You can if you will but it is up to you.
We have a choice. We choose between self-control and ill-discipline, virtue and vice

Question 28

Afterword
21-5-2024

Answer 28

“Love the discipline you know, and let it support you.”
I trusted the process. I loved the discipline I knew. I let it support me.

Anne Frank wrote (in her own journal) that paper is more patient than people. She was right—one of the best ways to temper difficult emotions is to do it on the page . . . and to leave it there.
“Never be afraid of material. The material knows when you are frightened and will not help.” Self-discipline is pointless without courage, and, of course, the defining characteristic of courage is self-discipline—steeling yourself for what must be done.
The discipline of writing is about showing up.

But the biggest feat was how he changed his relationship to the game, to winning and losing. It wasn’t anger or revenge that was driving him. He was actually enjoying himself. He became more balanced, more in control of his emotions. He was more present. He had more fun. And he was a better father and husband and teammate as a result.

This, too, is what temperance is about. When we say that self-discipline saves us, part of what it saves us from is ourselves. Sometimes that’s from our laziness or our weakness. Just as often, it’s from our ambitions, from our excesses, from our impulse to be too hard on others and ourselves. It makes us not just great at what we do, but best

As I struggled to write this book, I tried my best to improve in another area of my life—how my work and self-discipline manifests itself at home.
Nobody ever said destiny was going to be easy. Would it be worth anything if it was?