deck 1 Flashcards

1
Q

hussey rule one

A

be prepared.

takes more than three weeks to prepare an imprompu speech

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
2
Q

hussey rule two

A

be a master of the conversational sleight of hand

always answer the question you wish you’d have been asked

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
3
Q

hussey rule three

A

learn to be an emotional conductor (and become impervious to insults, criticism and mockery)

control the mood instead of simply reacting to it

  1. remain calm
  2. decide your own mood
  3. re-direct criticism to something positive
    a. calmly explain why incorrect
    b. laugh it off and take it in stride
    c. ignore it completely

(sometimes the strongest response is none at all)

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
4
Q

hussey rule four

A

adopt a value delivering mindset (and let others praise you for it)

never take position for granted

a. not being complacent
b. being prepared to sell your ideas as though no one has ever heard them before

doesnt take criticism seriously or the praise doesnt pretend to be all knowing

value through over delivering entertainment intriguing ideas or fresh perspective on old problem

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
5
Q

hussey rule five

A

being a master story teller

use vivid language prepare (rule one) etc

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
6
Q

hussey rule six

A

be empathetic and show appreciation to others

seek first to understand, then to be understood

understand what concerns others and tailor your message to their needs feel like your message is just for them

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
7
Q

scotthyoung rule one

A

never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit

people are mostly focused on themselves

  1. embarrassment doesnt make alot of sense since others are only focusing a small portion of their thoughts on judging you
  2. mean hurtful people dont usually do it intentionally
  3. relationships are your job to maintain. dont wait to be invited to parties or for people to approach you
How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
8
Q

scottyoung rule two

A

few social behaviors are explicit

most intentions behind our actions are hidden (ex. “fine” “go ahead” not meaning what say)

focus on empathy not just hearing a person youll get to heart of issue faster

most of the time you feel something nobodyelse knows dont get angry they cant read minds

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
9
Q

scottyoung rule three

A

behavior is largely dictated by selfish altruism

  1. transactions buyer and seller both win
  2. familial
  3. status helping someone is a sign of power
  4. implied reciprocity i help you one day youll help me someday
How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
10
Q

scottyoung rule four

A

people have poor memories

dont get mad or offended if someone forgets your name or a meeting etc

you can demonstrate reliability by remembering things and being organized

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
11
Q

scottyoung rule five

A

everyone is emotional

being sensitive to those underlying currents give you an advantage in trying to help

people generaly think everything with you is ok unless you have break down

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
12
Q

scottyoung rule six

A

people are lonely

very common

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
13
Q

scottyoung rule seven

A

people are self absorbed

need to take charge do not place individual happiness in the hands of others

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
14
Q

do just to face fear

A

do just to face fear

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
15
Q

not as awkward as i think

A

not as awkward as i think

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
16
Q

focus outward (avoid self focused attention)

A

focus outward (avoid self focused attention)

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
17
Q

what will happen? will it matter tomorrow, a year, 5 years.

A

what will happen? will it matter tomorrow, a year, 5 years.

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
18
Q

people dont care as much as i think focused on selves

A

people dont care as much as i think focused on selves

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
19
Q

avoid should thoughts

A

avoid should thoughts

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
20
Q

anticipatory anxiety

A

anticipatory anxiety

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
21
Q

capable of conversation and approaching

A

capable of conversation and approaching

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
22
Q

YES! out of comfort zone

A

YES! out of comfort zone

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
23
Q

people watch

A

people watch

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
24
Q

observe (body language, clothing, location, color of items)

A

observe (body language, clothing, location, color of items)

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
25
Q

open ended questions 5Ws and H

A

open ended questions 5Ws and H

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
26
Q

avoid umms and uhhs

A

DON’T JUST SIT THERE!

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
27
Q

any time social success exagerate positive

A

ex. made them laugh im funny not many people blah blah blah

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
28
Q

how to act toward rude people

A

act if theyre shy act polite back as if youre not phased

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
29
Q

intonation should not go up at end of sentence

A

when not asking question

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
30
Q

truly listen be in the moment

A

do not think of your opinion or what you are going to say next

How well did you know this?
1
Not at all
2
3
4
5
Perfectly
31
Q

joke about lack of int walk away

A

but not really

32
Q

stop bant move to report at some point

A

youll know when

33
Q

involve everyone

A

friends bartender etc

34
Q

have multiple sources of confidence

A

have many squares not one big one if you lose that you lose all confidence

35
Q

3levels to confidence

A

surface- can be faked

middle- lifestyle friends family hobbies interests (get yo shit together)

core-gained by truly loving self appreciate who you are own best friend

36
Q

3C’s

A

condition- well being, mental, and physical health

calling- what you do with timel

connections- friends, coworkers, servers, everyone

37
Q

do not have to be perfect

A

3C’s should always be growing

38
Q

am i waiting for oppurtunity or

A

am i creating opportunity

39
Q

free chocolate story negotiation

A

compliment specific hows the day focus on them not you. need-im shopping for choc not used to nice choc whats your favorite put focus on them

40
Q

compliment them. not earing look good but

A

you look great in those earings

41
Q

forest fire

A

if they know a little about you they assume you are like that in other aspects of your life. they fill in the blanks with the info they have.

42
Q

give person the image you want them to have

A

ex. i like you because you always buy lunch

43
Q

dont be in head, worry about self, others opinions.

A

dont do anything to be liked or for others approval

focus on making others feel good

44
Q

cooperative personality

A

treat everyone as if they have value and like they are equals from boss to homeless

45
Q

story telling make them feel like they are there

A

and share emotions not the story

46
Q

what did you find interesting about them

A

everyone cashiers strangers etc

47
Q

find something unique about them and let them know

A

they want to be unique and interesting to you

48
Q

accept anxiety

A

do not fight it

49
Q

do not dwell on negative

A

only dwell on positive

50
Q

dont think how relates to me. what are their motivations why do they like this

A

make statement about it

ex. (dancing) must be outgoing must be a good way to express yourself

what do they feel when they do this

51
Q

be person person you want wants

A

secret camera on you all time do they like what they see

52
Q

buy me a drink for something

A

ignore insults just continue no uhh umms

53
Q

3 things reflex response

A

history- past experiences (most influential)

current mood- dont know what happened to them that day

you- (least important)

determine your standard positivity self assurance how much fun youll have do this before go out or it will be influenced by people youre with or interact with

54
Q

once you decide your standard and you are in a good state

A

you influence others standards

55
Q

physical chem.-visual includes looks, body language, movement, eye contact, way you walk, talk etc.

perceived value- what do i bring to the table do i represent values charachteristics others dont demonstrate

ex. cocky self assured and gentlemen (unique pairing not necessarily this example)

A

perceived challenge people dont value what they dont earn have to earn value

56
Q

accept a6

7 combative need approval

8 competitive compliment

A

flag pole emotionaly stable dont be reactionary aka 7or8 (helps with police)

57
Q

find reasons to love what you dont

notice accomplishments positives

5 years life terrible if dont try now

A

find reasons to love what you dont

notice accomplishments positives

5years life terrible if dont try now

58
Q

working to change self/inner

A

not hedgm or others

59
Q

replace need to, should, etc with

A

i will

60
Q

to succeed

A

fail

beself

dgaf

61
Q

ask why anxious right now

A

most likely no reason

62
Q

AOC 3 important things

A

positive mant

visualizations

talk to everyone cashiers servers etc

63
Q

to succeed at begining

A

get comfortable with location

start small

generous with energy focus outward

64
Q

10 AOC things to do or watch for

A
  1. overuse filler words and talking to fast
  2. overly thought out answers
  3. waiting
  4. keep hands low
  5. no head snapping slow con movements
  6. fidgeting
  7. buying attention
  8. loosen jaw
  9. qualifying (unnecessary bragging)
  10. pecking
65
Q

AOC execises

A

straighten up in doorways

describe stories with all five senses

long enough to know eye color

66
Q

abundance mentality

A

comes from seeing the the world as a place full of amazing women who would love to meet a guy like you.

“ohh look another one”

67
Q

first you could view it as a total waste of your time that you suffer through

A

or you could view it as just one part of a super fufilling life

68
Q

to improve voice tonality

A

watch videos on youtube

read books outloud

listen to self on tape

modify your tone

69
Q

to learn to talk about anything

A

quick word association

70
Q

everyday when i wake up ask myself

A

how can i make today the best

71
Q

own who you are

A

enjoy your life regardless of whether or not there is a woman in it. if you keep an active life filled with the things and people you enjoy then you truly wont need a woman to feel complete

72
Q

show confidence by giving value

A

give her that attention and acceptance all people crave. look to brighten up her day. when you give freely like this (and expect nothing in return) you will not only come across as confident

73
Q

to listen more effectively and avoid getting distracted by thoughts

A

listen repeat words in head to be in the moment

74
Q

30 day challenge

A

incremental steps toward goals

journal to keep track

75
Q

where will i be in one year if i dont try now

A

same place i am now

76
Q
A