deck 1 Flashcards
hussey rule one
be prepared.
takes more than three weeks to prepare an imprompu speech
hussey rule two
be a master of the conversational sleight of hand
always answer the question you wish you’d have been asked
hussey rule three
learn to be an emotional conductor (and become impervious to insults, criticism and mockery)
control the mood instead of simply reacting to it
- remain calm
- decide your own mood
- re-direct criticism to something positive
a. calmly explain why incorrect
b. laugh it off and take it in stride
c. ignore it completely
(sometimes the strongest response is none at all)
hussey rule four
adopt a value delivering mindset (and let others praise you for it)
never take position for granted
a. not being complacent
b. being prepared to sell your ideas as though no one has ever heard them before
doesnt take criticism seriously or the praise doesnt pretend to be all knowing
value through over delivering entertainment intriguing ideas or fresh perspective on old problem
hussey rule five
being a master story teller
use vivid language prepare (rule one) etc
hussey rule six
be empathetic and show appreciation to others
seek first to understand, then to be understood
understand what concerns others and tailor your message to their needs feel like your message is just for them
scotthyoung rule one
never blame malice for what can easily be explained by conceit
people are mostly focused on themselves
- embarrassment doesnt make alot of sense since others are only focusing a small portion of their thoughts on judging you
- mean hurtful people dont usually do it intentionally
- relationships are your job to maintain. dont wait to be invited to parties or for people to approach you
scottyoung rule two
few social behaviors are explicit
most intentions behind our actions are hidden (ex. “fine” “go ahead” not meaning what say)
focus on empathy not just hearing a person youll get to heart of issue faster
most of the time you feel something nobodyelse knows dont get angry they cant read minds
scottyoung rule three
behavior is largely dictated by selfish altruism
- transactions buyer and seller both win
- familial
- status helping someone is a sign of power
- implied reciprocity i help you one day youll help me someday
scottyoung rule four
people have poor memories
dont get mad or offended if someone forgets your name or a meeting etc
you can demonstrate reliability by remembering things and being organized
scottyoung rule five
everyone is emotional
being sensitive to those underlying currents give you an advantage in trying to help
people generaly think everything with you is ok unless you have break down
scottyoung rule six
people are lonely
very common
scottyoung rule seven
people are self absorbed
need to take charge do not place individual happiness in the hands of others
do just to face fear
do just to face fear
not as awkward as i think
not as awkward as i think
focus outward (avoid self focused attention)
focus outward (avoid self focused attention)
what will happen? will it matter tomorrow, a year, 5 years.
what will happen? will it matter tomorrow, a year, 5 years.
people dont care as much as i think focused on selves
people dont care as much as i think focused on selves
avoid should thoughts
avoid should thoughts
anticipatory anxiety
anticipatory anxiety
capable of conversation and approaching
capable of conversation and approaching
YES! out of comfort zone
YES! out of comfort zone
people watch
people watch
observe (body language, clothing, location, color of items)
observe (body language, clothing, location, color of items)
open ended questions 5Ws and H
open ended questions 5Ws and H
avoid umms and uhhs
DON’T JUST SIT THERE!
any time social success exagerate positive
ex. made them laugh im funny not many people blah blah blah
how to act toward rude people
act if theyre shy act polite back as if youre not phased
intonation should not go up at end of sentence
when not asking question
truly listen be in the moment
do not think of your opinion or what you are going to say next