Crucial Conversations

Question 1

1 Crucial Conversations - Tools for Talking When Stakes are at Their Highest

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Question 2

2 What is a Crucial Conversation?

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Question 3

3. Pyramid
   - Opposing Ideas, High Stakes, High Emotions
   4.

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Question 4

5. How do you Handle? Avoid? Badly? Good?

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Question 5

6. Examples: (Breaking Up, Issuing Layoffs, Asking for a Raise, Poor Experience With Service)

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Question 6

7. Who has had a recent one?

(Personal - Thought I could take a leap to a management/lead position at previous job.) 8.

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Question 7

9. Casual -> Crucial

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Question 8

10. Master Them!

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Question 9

11. Honesty Alert. You’re probably going to handle them poorly right now.

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Question 10

12. Turn it around with… The Power of Dialog (Echo Effect?)

• Focus on what you really want.
• Pool of shared meaning.
• Work on me first, us second.
• Learn to look.
• Explore Others’ Paths.
• Make the conversation safe.
• Master the Story.

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Question 11

13. Focus on what you want?

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Question 12

14. • Yes. Want for Myself, Others, Relationship? (Raise Example)

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Question 13

15. Pool of Shared Meaning

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Question 14

16.
- Elusive and?
- Listening - helps pull into pool
- Focus on that shared goal
(Raise Example - Means Less Pressure Financially.) (Get Rid of API - Able to concentrate on new Features, Projects.)

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Question 15

17. Me First, Us Second. (Drowning Example. Make Sure You’re Safe Before Saving Others.)

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Question 16

18. Learn to Look
    - Content AND Conditions
    - Watch out when things go from Casual to Crucial (New Position in Company, think you can handle it. Goes from watercooler conversation to Crucial.)
    - Look when others go towards silence or Violence - (Explain)
    - Style under Stress (Fidget, Make Jokes)

Answer 16

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Question 17

19. Explore Other’s Paths
    - Ask
    - Mirror (Acknowledge the other person’s feelings.)
    - Paraphrase - To Show How You See a Situation
    - Prime (Silence or Violence) Priming the pump - Do your best to get them to talk. “I know you’re upset, who wouldn’t be… what do you think we can do?
    - Agree - (Maybe you both agree on a different path, rather than the one you’re on.)
    - Build (On Ideas, thoughts to get them closer)
    - Compare

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Question 18

20. Make the Conversation Safe
    - Step out, if needed.
    - Keep it Mutual - Respect and Purpose (Respect Person, not necessarily idea.)
    - Apologize if Appropriate
    - Contrast to Fix Misunderstanding (Goes with Comparing - Contrast Comparisons in thought.)

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Question 19

21. Learn to Master the Story.
22. (What on earth do you mean?)
    23.
    - Moving Away From Story - Examine Behavior, Emotions
    - Back to Facts
    - Watch for other stories - Victim, Villain, Helpless

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Question 20

24. Somewhat Easy Way to Put it All Together
25. STATE… your path.
    26.
    - Share Your Facts (Share in Testing)
    - Tell Your Story
    - Ask for Others Paths (Ex. Working With May.)
    - Talk Tentatively (Not timid.)
    - Encourage Testing (Big one, obvious reasons.) (Killing API - Kill Additional Users)

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Question 21

27. Remember…
    - Not Specifically about communication - about the results. Move to Action - When Appropriate
    - Process Should Improve Results You Care About
    - You don’t have to be perfect.
    - Persistence Shows Improvement
    - Dialog is NOT decision Making

Answer 21

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Question 22

28. Questions.

Answer 22

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