Counseling Skills in Working with Families with Disabilities Flashcards
Why would a client benefit much more when families are included?
because of the family systems theory–families are interdependent
What did Owens, Farinella, & Metz say about how much time our clients spend with us vs. with their family?
A patient might spend 2 hours a week with an SLP but 110 awake hours with family
For people with disabilities, unemployment is an issue… what are the 2013 Department of Labor statistics?
May 2013 Department of labor: people 16 years and older without disabilities=6.9% unemployment rate but 16 years and older with disabilities have a 13% unemployment rate
What kind of contract is marriage?
a verbal and nonverbal contract
verbal: marriage vows
nonverbal: our expectations
When something happens to their spouse, how may the other spouse feel?
feelings of anger and being cheated—loss of a dream
People feel frightened, anxious, lonely
What are factors in preserving a marriage after an injury/disability?
Disability is mild
Lots of Resources
Tolerable substitutions made for lost activities
If well spouse is prone to nurturance (easily slips into a caregiver role)
When working with spouses, what should we do?
Pay lots of attention to well spouse—educate and support him/her
Include spouse in assessment and treatment
Let spouse ventilate
Provide a support group
What do Chabon & Cohn say about spouses who have a spouse with a degenerative disease like Alzheimers, what does the well spouse have to do?
simultaneously take on extra burdens and promote the sick spouse’s independence as much as possible
What are the 2 most important variables in a child’s improvement?
parents personal qualities (communication, patience, proactively seek tx, teamwork, adaptability, & humility)
strength of parents’ marital relationship
When a child is born with a disability, what is most destructive to a marriage?
anger
When parents are experiencing displacement and can’t blame each other for the child’s disability what do they fight over?
parent fight over little, unrelated things
With guilt comes the…
super dedicated parent
What are men considered to be? and how do they feel when they can’t do their job?
“family protector”
feel helpless and deny reality; may turn to affairs or extra work
When a child has a disability, what can happen in the family?
Lots of changes in family structure when children are born with a disability
Many women postpone or lose their careers
When working with parents, it’s important to give permission to them to do what in order for them to be happier?
give parents permission to take care of themselves first
if parents are happy as individuals and a couple, children are much better off
What has research found about families with higher SES?
they have more choices for coping and more varied support
What has research also found about why parents feel Greater stress when they have to take care of their disabled child but also have other responsibilities ?
parents who felt that their caretaking responsibilities for disabled children took time away from their spouse, other children, and self
What has research found about parents who care for their children with disabilities in regards to children’s behavior?
Children’s behavior problems caused parents far more stress than child’s cognitive delays
What does Naseef say about what men wanted when he interviewed couples who had a disabled child?
women to understand that they were doing their best and were frustrated when they couldn’t make things better
More time alone with their wives as a couple
Women to be more rational and less emotional so solutions could be discussed
More responsibility for special needs children; women need to “get out of the way” and let men help
Women to tell them what they are doing right
What does Naseef say about what women wanted when he interviewed couples who had a disabled child?
Men involved in child’s education; tired of going to meetings alone
Time by themselves to relax without children
To talk about their feelings without men getting defensive
Men to develop a better understanding of their children’s special needs and not leave everything to women.
What does Tiegerman-Farber et.al say about how mothers often feel when they have a disabled child?
I feel totally overwhelmed with my children
No time to spend with husband or other children
No time for myself—stressed out!
My husband feels: along with cooking, housecleaning, and disciplining, our special needs child is MY problem and responsibility
I am concerned that my husband is afraid of our children (fear of failure)
How can we build positive relationships with parents?
Focus on the child’s strengths as well as weaknesses
Focus on parent’s strengths and expertise
Put yourself in parents’ shoes
Conscientious parents will get multiple opinions
Don’t make instant diagnoses
Always emphasize child’s happiness, success, best interests
Show interest in parents as people
Find a point of agreement and build from there
Use “foot in door” technique, getting parents to say “yes” and agree with you at the very beginning of the meeting
Watch where you sit. When you sit across from somebody, that indicates a possible adversarial/authoritative position. If you sit next to someone, there is a greater feeling of camaraderie.
Maintain good eye contact, and use the parents’ names throughout the meeting
Validate parents’ feelings, acknowledge their struggles
Schools—remind parents—IEPs can be re-written: feel less boxed in
During meetings, write things down on a whiteboard or flipchart; use parents’ exact words
During a meeting, if a parent loses control, get person alone; remove audience
If parent continues to be abusive despite requests not to be, terminate meeting—indicate meeting will re-convene when everyone has calmed down
When meetings are held, best if both parents can be there, especially since so many fathers deny problems
Remember—mothers especially experience isolation and depression.
What does Robinson, say about how we should behave as professionals with the parents?
Sit Next to parents
Professionals never disagree in front of parents
If parents are resistant to labeling, explain that student is old enough to be involved and there will be more buy-in if s/he understands
How may grandparents be affected by grandchildren with disabilities?
Isolated by our prosperity—single family dwellings
Grandparents longer in denial than parents (grandparents wear rose-colored glasses)
Adult parents want to bring their parents joy—this may be gone
Isolation—everyone acts like everything is OK
Many grandparents—primary caretakers
Poverty—major issue
Grandparents ideally can take over and help parents with non-disabled siblings
