Comedies

Question 1

I’ve actually turned up.

Answer 1

turned up = appear

Question 2

So we’ve got all the pedigrees for miles around. A big passing-out parade.

Answer 2

passing-out = graduation from a military course

Question 3

Do you like being carried around by elderly homosexuals?

Answer 3

elderly = old

Question 4

I don’t care about the backlash.

Answer 4

backlash = reaction, retaliation, repercussion, response

Question 5

My girlfriend, Jane, she worries, so I wind her up.

Answer 5

wind somebody up = annoy and upset

Question 6

They release more presenters, I take my pick

Answer 6

take my pick = choose

Question 7

“You’re hunting lions”, - “No, we’re not. Look lions? we’ll get fucking mashed!”

Answer 7

mashed = crashed

Question 8

Even on the day, on the way to the red carpet, in the limo.

Answer 8

limo = limousine

Question 9

people going, “It was transphobic.” It wasn’t transphobic in the slightest.

Answer 9

sligh = insult

Question 10

A celebrity kiling someone in their car, running home and popping on a dress.

Answer 10

popping on = putting on (clothing) quickly

Question 11

It was clickbait, I rose to the bait.

Answer 11

bait = food on a hook to catch fish with a rod

Question 12

They tweeted a different headline, and they @-ed me in.

Answer 12

@-ed = mention on twitter

Question 13

I found out my crime, was that I dead-named her.

Answer 13

dead name = a name that was used in the past for a trans person.

Question 14

He was on telly all the time, you know?

Answer 14

telly = television

Question 15

All right, Bruce Jenner, how you doing, you fucker? You big old lunk.

Answer 15

lunk = stupid, awkward

Question 16

They tweeted that and @-ed me in, because they want a celebrity feud.

Answer 16

feud = an argument

Question 17

But you should have left your shot puts outside.

Answer 17

shot puts = a heavy metal sphere used in athleticism

Question 18

I’m a medical man. You’re a big bloke.

Answer 18

bloke = a man.

Question 19

You would have a big old… cock and.. balls. They’re beautiful. Bit familiar, innit?

Answer 19

innit = short form of isn’t it.

Question 20

I’m not a bigot who thinks having all that done is science going too far.

Answer 20

bigot = a person with strong beliefs who doesn’t like persons who have another beliefs

Question 21

I’m halfway there. I’m short, with short legs and long arms. I stoop.

Answer 21

stoop = bend forwards and down.

Question 22

I’m not a doctor! but that is… the gist of it.

Answer 22

the gist = the main piece of information.

Question 23

You’ve gotta learn. Stop crying. Any more grizzling and this party’s cancelled.

Answer 23

grizzling = weeping and moaning.

Question 24

If I say I’m a chimp. I am a chimp. Pre-op.

Answer 24

Pre-op = short for pre operatory

Question 25

We’ll be all in love. Maybe matching jumpers.

Answer 25

jumpers = sweaters

Question 26

That’s why the skull is in parts and supple.

Answer 26

supple = flexible, not stiff

Question 27

Then we go on gestating outside the womb.

Answer 27

womb = uterus

Question 28

A giraffe is walking along. It goes, “I’m proper pregnant.” Right?

Answer 28

proper = real, satisfactory, suitable or correct.

Question 29

My school was on my street and I ran there every day, so I didn’t get mugged or molested.

Answer 29

mugged = to attack a person and steal their money.

Question 30

I saw a knife once in Hampstead. It was a palette knife.

Answer 30

palette knife = a rounded end, knife used to mix paint together.

Question 31

Just a bloke, oil painting, Broad daylight, no-one gobbing on it

Answer 31

gobbing on = spit

Question 32

And there’s no one calling him bender

Answer 32

bender = insult (gay)

Question 33

One thing kept cropping up, even as I prepared for this tour.

Answer 33

cropping up = happening, appearing unexpectadly

Question 34

He’s out of touch. He’s rich. He’s mega rich.

Answer 34

out of touch = not informed, don’t have the same ideas

Question 35

How can he say things that relate to ordinary scum.

Answer 35

scum = rubbish and waste

Question 36

But even the papers, they try and get around to it.

Answer 36

get around to something = do something you have been intending to do

Question 37

Do you know how much a pint of milk is?

Answer 37

pint = 1/2 liter

Question 38

Next time a journalist asks me, I’ll say, “I don’t know. But there’s a grand. Runa and get me one.”

Answer 38

grand = 1.000 dollars

Question 39

Another question I always get, particularly with the posh Sundays.

Answer 39

posh = expensive and with high quality.

Question 40

They are doing a profile piece, and yet, they’re still trying to alienate you.

Answer 40

profile piece = one journalist article describing the life of public figure.

Question 41

Kids are scroungers. Aren’t they? I mean, from day one, it’s all “me, me, me”

Answer 41

scrounger = someone who tries to get things asking instead of working to buy them.