Chutney Wyndham Flashcards
ELLE: Miss Wyndham, what was your relationship to the deceased?
CHUTNEY: He was my father.
ELLE: Did you actually see his murder take place?
CHUTNEY: No…I was in the shower. But when I got out, Brooke was standing over my father’s body, drenched in his blood.
ELLE: Miss Wyndham…on the day your father was killed, did you see anyone suspicious hanging around?
CHUTNEY: Suspiciously hanging around my shower?
ELLE: No, before that.
CHUTNEY: I was out getting a perm.
ELLE: And then you came home and took a SHOWER?
CHUTNEY: YES. I was in the shower.
ELLE: Thank you. Now, Miss Wyndham, you claim on the day of the murder, you got a perm. Was this your first perm?
CHUTNEY: No. I’ve permed my hair since Junior high, about three a year.
ELLE:…now, Miss Wyndham, would Exhibit B’s perm be similar to your own?
CHUTNEY: Duh.
ELLE: And now, one more time, you didn’t see the murder or hear the gunshot because you where where..?
ALL (but ELLE): IN THE SHOWER!
ELLE: Thank you. Miss Hoopes, would you step into the shower, please?
CHUTNEY: Idiot, you can’t get a perm wet for 48 hours-
ELLE:…Why would you lie about being in the shower?
CHUTNEY: I was-
ELLE: Why would you lie about NOT hearing the gunshot?
CHUTNEY: But I-
ELLE: Why would you-
CHUTNEY: YOU THINK I LIKED BEING OLDER THAN MY DAD”S NEW ARM-CANDY WIFE? I didn’t mean to hurt my father..! I didn’t mean to shoot him..! I THOUGHT IT WAS BROOKE COMING THROUGH THE DOOR! (hysterical melt/breakdown)
