Cheating Flashcards
Are humans monogamous?
there is no consistent evidence that humans are wired through DNA to be monogamous
What three factors make someone not a cheater (don’t have the impulse to cheat)?
- someone was cheated on and is empathetic
- one parent cheated on the other, when they were a kid or a teen and caused a big problem
- Brainwashed by religion, culture or family
What are two factors that predict whether someone will cheat on their long-term partner?
- Oppertunity
2. The belief that they can do it and get away with it (won’t get caught)
What cheating incident happens for a non-cheater to cheat in their 40’s & 50’s?
- death of a loved one (usually parent)
- serious illness
- near death experience
What two questions does the professor ask patients/someone when they say they are thinking of someone else other then their long-term partner?
- Could live with the guilt?
2. Can you keep it to yourself?
Who is Gary Neuman?
wrote a book on why men stray and what you can do to prevent it
What question did Gary Neuman ask?
Why would men who are honest enough to admit to research their cheating, lie about the reason they cheat?
What is the professors criticism of Gary Neuman?
Gary Neuman did not acknowledge many of the men who answered in the book may have been lying to themselves and him about their motif and reason (they were rationalizing)
What are parts of the brain that are involved when you cheat (even if you are in a committed long term relationship)?
- prefrontal cortex
2. limbic system
When you cheat what does the limbic system have to do with it?
part of the pleasure, fun and excitment seeking when life gets boring or stressful
When you cheat what part does the prefrontal cortex have to do with it?
connected to the commitment, judgment and concious
If your long-term partner had a one night stand and came back and told his/her partner, what are you considered? Why?
selfish
because you are burdening your partner with information they do not know
If you cheat on your long-term partner and had a one night stand, what the reasons to tell them you did something wrong?
(a) if you think they are going to find out; get ahead of the problem
(b) first time you cheated and you know your going to do it again (bringing shame to your partner, affects your partner, cheated person is pregnant or has AIDS/HIV)
(c) if that person knows
What does WEWYE stand for?
What else would you expect
What tone would someone use when they say WEWYE?
exasperated (intensely irritated and frustrated) and dismissive
