Explain and describe the features of satisfying personal relationships.
• Investment: Every relationship has an element of investment. When we are in any relationship there is an element of time, energy, or effort we put in it.
o Social Exchange Theory: Says that there’s more to it.
• Says that we all have an idea in our mind of how much we are inclined to giving or getting in our relationship.
• There are a number of costs and rewards that we are comfortable having.
• Commitment: It isn’t about looking at costs and rewards in the moment. Future oriented.
• Trust: Self disclosure is a huge part of trust. This happens the more trust is there. Within that trust you see social support being given.
Explain and describe the theory of relational dialectics and how they influence our satisfaction in personal relationships.
• Comfort and relational dialectics: The constant push and pull even feel in our relationships. When we are in a satisfying relationship we will feel comfortable within that relationship. Think of it as though you have two voices on your shoulder, they are telling you different things. And you are a rubber band that is constantly being pulled in one way or the other. In every relationship we always have this relational dialects.
Explain and describe the ways in which individuals try to manage a relational dialectic.
• Autonomy vs. connection: “I want to be close”/ “I need my own space”
• Novelty vs. predictability: Novelty is unique and find, something new. Predictability is the familiar. “I like the familiar rhythms and routines of our relationship”/ “We need to do something new and different”
• Openness vs. closeness:
I like sharing so much with you”/ “There are some things I don’t want to talk about with you”
Explain and describe how communication can yield a disconfirming climate.
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Explain and describe how communication can yield a confirming climate
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Explain and describe the guidelines for promoting a confirming communication climate.
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Explain and describe how one might create and sustain a healthy communication climate.
- Actively use communication to build climates
- Accept and confirm others
- Affirm and assert yourself
- Respect diversity in relationships
- Respond constructively to criticism
Explain and describe the nature of friendships.
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Explain and describe the development of friendship, its stages, and the communication which occurs at each stage.
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- Explain and describe the internal and external pressures on friendships.
• Internal tensions o Relational dialectics o Diverse communication styles: o Sexual attraction • External pressures o Competing demands: What’s happening with Jyoti o Personal changes: o Geographic distance
- Explain and describe the guidelines for communication between friends – pay particular attention to what it means to (for example) engage in dual perspective, communicate honestly, etc…
• Engage in dual perspective o A friend acts o We perceive the action(s) selectively o We interpret and evaluate what happened o We assign meaning to it and make inferences from what we’ve labeled • Communicate honestly • Grow from differences • Don’t sweat the small stuff
- Explain the Martin (1997) article – specifically, what were: (a) the reasons this study was conducted, (b) the arguments leading up to the formation of the research questions, (c) the research questions, (d) the who, how, and where data was collected, and (e) the findings.
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- What cues signal communication between two males, two females, or two cross-sex friends?
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- Explain and describe the dimensions of romantic relationships.
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- Explain and describe the six different love styles.
• Primary styles of loving
o Eros: Erotic, eager to experience intense passionate love. Arousal from physical contact. Erotic develop a sense of intimacy very quickly. Experience high level of self-disclosure. High levels of non-verbals and touch, and feel like they never want to leave the other person.
o Storage (stor-gay): Friendship based love. No games, commitment type of love. Security, companionship, friendship goals. They don’t experience many highs a lows.
o Ludus: Commitment is not the goal, challenges, puzzles, the game playing love.
• Secondary styles of loving
o Pragma: Usually have qualities of Ludus and Storage. Have idea in mind of what the ideal partner is.
o Mania: Possessive type of love. Manic love, we say that they are demanding, possessive. Addicted to love, similar to a drug. Sometimes their identity gets wrapped up with that other person. Sometimes it leads to others feeling like they never want to leave that person.
o Agapa: Unconditional love, unselfish love. You give everything, you don’t ask questions, that’s just what you give. Kind of love that is unmatched.
- Explain and describe the different stages within the development of romantic relationships – what occurs communicatively during growth, navigation, and deterioration.
- Growth
- Navigation
- Deterioration
- Explain and describe the phases Duck associates with relationship deteriorization / dissolution.
• Intrapsychic processes:
o First thing we do is this phase where you have personal doubts that it won’t work. I think I have a problem, I don’t know how I feel about this, etc.
• Dyadic processes:
o If something our partner is doing is really annoying us, we might be a little more snappy, bitchy, etc. You have moved it from your head to how you interact with your partner.
• Social support:
o This is the big decision maker, you approach your friends and start to tell your friends about your relationship problems. Your friends are telling you about that it’s a problem. Duck says this is a big red flag and it’s hard to get back from this. Now that you said it to your friends, it’s moved to other people
• Grave-depressing processes:
o You gather the pictures, you gather everything and put them in a box and give it back to the person. You put it in a box and it’s similar to grieving. It goes along with research surrounding death and grief. It’s this ceremonial phase.
• Resurrection processes:
o We have a resurrection phase; it’s when you know I’m ready to move on
- Explain and describe the guidelines for communicative in romantic relationships.
- Engage in dual perspective
- Practice safe sex
- Manage conflict constructively
- Explain and describe the nature of long-term commitments
• Adapt communication to maintain long-distance relationships:
o Positively
o Assurances
o Openness about feelings in relationships
o Sharing tasks
o Sharing social groups
- Explain and describe the different marital types according to Christensen & Jacobson (1999) and Fitzpatrick (1988).
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- Explain and describe how words, thoughts, and emotions influence communication and satisfaction in long-term/family relationships.
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- Be prepared to discuss Gottman’s 5 to 1 ratio.
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- What are the Gottman’s 4 horsemen of the apocalypse? Explain how they play out in family communication leading to divorce.
o Criticism
o Defensiveness
o Contempt
o Stonewalling
- Explain and describe the seven stages of the life cycle approach – be able to do more than just list the stages. Rather, you should be able to identify what might occur communicatively during each of these seven stages.
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